4
As Olivia sat and listened to Rick’s explanation, she wanted to both laugh and scream in his face. Fiona’s pregnant with his kid, huh? That was rich. What a riot!
But that was what he couldn’t tell her before? That there was some possibility he fathered an illegitimate child? Sure, it wasn’t glamorous, and Rick needed to practice some discretion, but holy shit! Of all the things to dump her over! “Let me get this straight,” Olivia said, rubbing her forehead with the back of her hand. “You got freaked out about possibly being a father and decided the first thing you should do was cut ties with every woman romantically in your life.”
“To be fair, you were the only person who qualified for that description.”
“Whatever. Point is you went ahead and cut ties with me because you didn’t think I could, what, handle it? That you couldn’t handle it? Please explain this to me.”
Really, Olivia wanted to know. From where she sat, Rick was a reactionary kid whose solution to his immediate problem was something he never thought through. Typical dude. Knocked up one girl? Go ahead and dump the rest! For some reason, Olivia was surprised to hear that she had been the only one. At no point did she delude herself into thinking she was Rick’s main squeeze… even if she was falling in love with him.
Rick looked like he would rather pull out his own toenails than explain his faulty logic. Nevertheless, he made a valiant effort to not sound like a total idiot when he spoke again. “I can’t handle two big things at once. Not like that. I’ve already got my career eating up so much of my time and patience. On top of that, I can’t handle a new relationship and a kid. Besides, if I am this kid’s dad, I need to figure out what I’m going to do. Obviously I want to do the right thing by it and Fiona… but I have to think about the media and whether or not to be open about it. I mean, it’s not a good idea to make something like that public, if only to keep them from being harassed. If the media finds out years from now and I’m not a nobody… the shit could hit the fan and that’s it for me for a while.”
“Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.”
“That’s what I’m saying. “ Rick threw his arms up. “I can’t process becoming a father and having a new girlfriend at the same time. The thing is, as much as I liked… like… you, it in no way compares to what else I’m dealing with. Know what I’m getting at?”
“Sure. You were still a dick about it.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” Funny that they should be having a conversation like this in the middle of a nightclub. A seedy one, even if it catered to the rich and famous in the area. How many babies have been conceived on this couch? Olivia didn’t want to think about it. “Please forgive me. I screwed that up and hurt your feelings.”
Wow, it was almost as if he were trying to make a sincere apology. “I can forgive you for making a screw up like that. Look, if we’re going to pick this up again – not that I’m saying we are – you can’t be a jerk like that. If something big like that is going on? I wanna know. Don’t let Thomas be the only one to know this shit.”
Rick shook his head. “He doesn’t know. Nobody but you knows.”
Wait, so Thomas doesn’t know about Fiona… and Rick doesn’t know about Thomas? This was a quandary. If Olivia were a blackmailing kind of woman, she would be super rich soon enough. Not telling Rick that Thomas was his father? Not telling Thomas that Rick might be a father soon? Juicy, juicy. “I’ll keep my lips shut then.”
“I appreciate it.”
Olivia wanted to shake her head back at him. “Thanks for telling me all that, I guess.”
“I wouldn’t have told you if I didn’t think I could trust you.”
Trust her? What had Olivia done to earn his trust besides sleeping with him? Some men don’t take much I guess. Boy, if he knew what she knew about Thomas… “I guess I’ll be going now.” Olivia stood up, but didn’t make it three steps before Rick shot forward and grabbed her by the arm. “Excuse me?”
“Come the hell on. You went through all that trouble to see me, and you’re going to leave without another word?”
Olivia did not shake him off. “I was under the impression that this was over.” She didn’t want to get her hopes up, yet she couldn’t help but ask, “Or was I wrong? Does getting to know your current big secret put me on some cool pedestal? Because I won’t be jerked like that again, Rick. I don’t care how good you are…” She couldn’t finish that. Good in bed? Good on the dance floor? Both were dangerous. “I don’t have time to have my feelings played with.”
“Your feelings?”
Great. Now the cat was almost out of the bag. “Don’t play dumb. I know it’s a thing you do, but don’t do it to me. Of course I had… maybe still have… feelings for you. How could I not after all that? I was ready to tell you that I would be your girlfriend when that shit went down. Even hearing about Fiona… my feelings haven’t changed. Just because I feel that way doesn’t mean I’ll let you shove me around like that. I don’t need a commitment to something serious and long term. Just give me common decency.” There. She said it. Let’s see how long it takes for me to regret something like that.
Rick bit the inside of his cheek. One moment he glanced at Olivia, then he looked away again, and this sort of eye-contact dance lasted a good five seconds before he finally said, “I didn’t know you felt that way.”
“It wasn’t like I was trying to broadcast it.. Girl’s gotta keep her feelings in check if she doesn’t want to get hurt.”
Olivia was past being embarrassed. She came into this room assuming she would be leaving alone and single. Why would she assume any differently? He’s the kind of guy who gets bored with women quickly. He has his pick. Olivia had been his pick during the tour. And now…
Suffice to say she did not expect Rick to yank her into his arms and bury his face in the crook of her neck.
Olivia sat there, inhaling his scent, nose touching his hair in utter, absolute shock. What the…? The way he gripped her, squeezed her clothing, and desperately tried to touch her skin beneath was not even sexual. It was needy, in the only way a man usually expresses himself when he wants to convey “I need you.”
Rick was exceptional, though. Maybe it was because he was an artist, but he had no qualms saying what was really on his mind – or his heart. “I felt awful about how that happened. I didn’t want it to happen like that. I don’t even want to do this alone right now. Do you know what’s going through my head these days?” He squeezed her once more before pulling away, hands gripping her shoulders as he stared into her shocked visage. “I don’t know what’s going to happen. I can’t spend all my time wondering if you’re being taken care of emotionally, because I’m already spreading myself thin between work and this possible baby thing. Both of those have to take precedence right now. You understand?”
Olivia nodded. “I am aware that you’re not the most conventional man around.”
“That’s the truth.” Rick’s fingers pinched her arms, not because he wanted to hurt her, but because his eyes were squeezed shut to the point he had to channel his energy elsewhere. “It’s not that I don’t like you. I just don’t know what I can offer you right now… and that’s not fair to you.”
She wanted to cry – in amusement, at least. “Don’t be an idiot! You think I’m the kind of girl who needs you paying attention to me every five minutes? I don’t want to be treated like crap or ignored perpetually. If you really care about me, even if you’re busy you can still find time to call me every couple of days, right? My only fear would be feeling like your foolish fuck buddy who could never expect more. Or that you would…”
“Or that I’d what?”
Olivia almost didn’t want to say it. “Fool around with someone else.”
“I don’t know what you’ve heard about me online or in those stupid tabloid trash rags.” Now he was getting angry at the thought she would think so lowly of him. “But I would never cheat on a woman I was getting serious with. I didn’t even see anyone else when we were fooling around on tour. You were plenty enough!”
Now Olivia did laugh. There was nothing offensive in his statement. If anything, it was sweet. Never had a guy imply that about me before. She gripped him by the chin and forced him to look her in the eyes again. “Enough of this bullshit. Do you want me or not?”
She didn’t know what she expected, but it definitely wasn’t Rick Rodriguez pushing her against the nearest cushion and looming over her. “Now who’s bullshitting? Of course I want you. That’s like asking if I want to ever dance again.”
In the end, Olivia was still the foolish one. How couldn’t she see what was going on with Rick? Why would she ever think that he was any less than genuine? I was so stupid for running out on him like that. It couldn’t be helped at the time. Olivia was emotional. She wasn’t an artist who expressed herself through words, though.
She expressed them with her body.
Their first kiss after being reunited was exactly what she needed. What I needed to feel calm again. Weeks of building up the anger, the regret, and the self-pity all culminated in this moment, where Olivia Owens finally got to kiss Rick Rodriguez again – thank God!
She had almost forgotten how good it felt to have him kiss her. There was something exquisitely passionate about the way he kissed, like biting into a delicious fruit that burst in flavor and juice alike. It punched Olivia right where it mattered, bringing her back to reality while also foisting her into a paradise that only existed in the moments between them. And that was a kiss. When Rick tossed his girlfriend onto the couch and threw himself on her, it was with both a boylike mischief and the passion of a grown man who was going to rock her world.
If they were somewhere cozy, like one of those hotel rooms, then perhaps they would have been gentle and easy with one another. One day, Olivia wanted to know what it was like to make love to Rick. To feel his adoration come coursing through safe kisses and long, languid thrusts that soothed her more than incited her. There wasn’t time for that. The world waited outside the VIP room, so they would both take what they could get.
Rick was a man who could do things in any manner he wanted – and Olivia would be pretty happy. He could shower her with kisses and whisper sweet nothings into her ear. Or he could throw her on her back and take her like a hurricane ripping through the city. No matter what, Olivia was wrapped up in a world of hedonistic seduction that she couldn’t get anywhere else. No matter what Rick wanted, she could deliver; no matter what Olivia wanted, he could deliver. Just don’t stop. It had been weeks… maybe months now…. Since the last time they made love, let alone like this.
Now Rick was on top of her on the couch, his hands lifting up her shirt, pulling apart her bra, and searching for the button on her jeans. They didn’t have much time… and if they were going to do this, they had to be quick.
Quick didn’t mean bad. Nor did it mean unsatisfactory. It did tend to mean rough and hard.
Olivia was so desperate for him after so long that she had no problem taking him when he was ready. Apparently the feeling was mutual. I missed this. I missed this so much. Rick, inside of her, his groans of pleasure inciting her as much as they soothed her. The most powerful thing of all, however, was his scent, which brought her the greatest sense of relief of all. He was here. He was real. And not only did he love being with Olivia, but he had genuine feelings for her too.
“I love you,” she foolishly said as her leg slipped off the couch and let him deeper into her. If Rick heard her, he didn’t let on, for his voice was still ripe in her ear and his breaths as powerful as the beating of her heart. If he did hear her, all that resulted was a stronger thrust as he quickly reached climax.
Olivia joined him, not in intensity, but in passion, her pleasure syncing with his until she rode out a satisfying orgasm that welcomed him into her and shared the joys of a wonderful union. This was almost better than dancing, especially when they felt so close Olivia swore she heard him say he loved her too.
Even after their passion subsided, Olivia couldn’t let him go. Even when the heavy bass music returned and the sounds of people laughing and shouting out in the hallway overcame them, Olivia couldn’t stand the idea of this man leaving her alone again. Who knew when they could see each other again?
“I have your number,” Rick said, sitting on the couch as he zipped up and made sure the rest of him was presentable. “I’ve got meetings out the ass for this next week, but I’ll contact you. Is that okay?’
Olivia realized she needed to get her act together. Furthermore, she probably needed to sneak out of the VIP section and get back to her own party. “Whatever you want to do. Just don’t leave me hanging like that again.”
“Hey,” Rick said, taking her hand when she attempted to walk by and check if the coast was clear in the hallway. “I’ll call you. We’ll figure this out.”
He stood up, pulled Olivia into his arms, and kissed her with a slight dip as if they were dancing. I missed this too. Would they ever get to dance together again?
They parted that evening with hope renewed in their hearts. Or at least Olivia felt it. She wasn’t about to start guessing what Rick thought or felt – only heartbreak lurked in a game like that.