Chapter Four

 

Brady left the office he’d been crashing in wearing only sweatpants and sneakers to head down to the gym. His body was buzzing with excess energy and irritation and he needed to let off some steam. Maybe lift some weights or let his frustrations out on Ken’s punching bag.

He paused at the door to the loft and lifted his fist, stopping before he could knock. That was a bad idea. Brady wouldn’t exactly be great company right now. He hadn’t been since that night at Tango’s, and Ken Tanaka was the reason why.

While he’d secretly hoped Ken would take the lead again when they got home and kiss him until he forgot his name, a part of him had been glad to get the space he’d asked for. Ken hadn’t even argued when Brady insisted on sleeping in the office, unwilling to spend the night in the loft’s large bed, wishing he wasn’t alone. But it quickly became clear the next day that space was all he was going to get from now on. That Ken was fine with focusing on “just the job.”

Brady wasn’t handling it as well.

Ken had done this after the reception too. No calls or texts. No word for over a month. Only now Brady was living with him. Eating with him. Planning his next date with Cal or trying to ignore Ken’s tactical advice when he led a military campaign on an alien world.

Owen would have been jealous of Ken’s game collection. Brady was jealous of his poker face.

It didn’t seem fair that he’d been suffering with the pain of a near constant erection while Ken seemed as serene and unaffected as ever. It was as if their groping session in the men’s room never happened. As if he didn’t want what Brady did every time they were in the same room.

Was it his damn club training? Had he learned how to flip a switch and turn off his desire? Maybe he should take that class. It had been a week, and between the lack of sleep and his severe case of blue balls, Brady wasn’t sure he was going to survive. The man was making him crazy.

He’s giving you what you asked for.

Well, he didn’t have to make it look so fucking easy.

It didn’t help that the other man in his life had gone around the bend in the other direction. Three dates in and Cal was on his way to graduating from obsessed to insane.

He called Brady throughout the day just to say hello, and called every night to see if he’d changed his mind about coming over to his house to spend the night. Ken hadn’t mentioned sex again but Cal couldn’t seem to stop. He begged for Brady’s measurements or a picture of him naked, followed him to the bathroom every time they were out just to catch a glimpse. Once, in the middle of a boring conversation about poll numbers that Brady was only half paying attention to, he realized too late that Cal had been doing more than talking on the other end of the line. And then he’d sent a picture of the outcome.

Brady grimaced. You’d think someone neck deep in politics would have learned the value of discretion. Unfortunately for him, Cal had missed that class because he was too busy jacking off. Brady swore if the man sent him one more picture of his penis, one more Vine of him sucking on popsicles, or one more link to a video of someone in a kink club being rogered and dragged around in a collar, he was going to tell Ken he quit and use the rest of his savings on a hypnotherapist. He didn’t necessarily believe that he could be hypnotized, but he’d seen things he didn’t want to remember and was willing to give it a try.

Unfortunately he couldn’t quit because Ken’s plan was working. Brady’s hints about Burke’s weekend love fest, his lies about wanting to experiment with kink—it all worked. When Cal mentioned he had important friends who threw regular parties—exclusive parties—in a private club, Ken was sure they’d hit the jackpot.

Brady let Cal believe he would be “grateful” to go. It made him ill, but he didn’t want to take the chance he’d change his mind. After this party, his part would be over. He wouldn’t have to put any of them through this torture anymore. Brady didn’t deserve it. And Cal, no matter how he behaved, didn’t deserve to be teased. He just hoped the man they were looking for was there.

He couldn’t think of anything he wanted to do less than go to another elite BDSM gangbang, this time on Clingy Cal’s arm. But in two days that was exactly what he was going to do, because no matter how tense and unsettled things felt between them, this was important to Ken.

Brady got the feeling Ken knew the guy they were trying to find. That they were close and that the cross he’d been wearing around his neck was somehow connected. Had one of his lovers gotten caught up with this crowd of Burke doppelgängers Ken had described?

He wished Ken would tell him. His living space might be like an open book but Tanaka was still a mystery. Who did he care about? What did he do when he wasn’t playing hero or tying someone up in knots?

Brady got to the second floor, opened the stairwell door and stopped when he realized Ken was already in the gym. And he wasn’t alone.

“It’s the wrist flick I can’t get the hang of,” the man sighed, looking down at the leather whip dangling from his fingers. “I can pick a lock in under a minute but I can’t manage this damn flick.”

Brady narrowed his eyes on the visitor in his late thirties. He was wearing a wrinkled shirt and jeans that were faded from use, not design. His forearms were covered in old-school tattoos and his dark blond hair was a little too long and thoughtlessly mussed, as if he’d brushed it with his fingers. His beard however, was a little too neatly trimmed to match the transient vibe he’d been going for.

The man stilled and turned his head to meet Brady’s gaze head on. His eyes were a soul-piercing green and highly intelligent. He was handsome beneath the mess, Brady knew. Gorgeous really, but you wouldn’t see it unless you gave him a second look. It was his version of camouflage. 

“Hey, Trick.”

“Brady. I didn’t know you were staying with Tanaka.”

“Yes, you did.”

“Yeah. I did.”

Tristan “Trick” Dunham was an old friend from Stephen Finn’s misspent youth. He’d done some time, but he’d used it wisely, getting a degree and doing his best to stay out of trouble. He was a private detective now, and loving every minute of it. Not too long ago, when Jennifer Finn was sowing her oats at that double-damned BDSM club everyone Brady knew was a member of, Stephen had hired Trick to tail her. Just to keep her safe.

Trick had loved his new assignment a little too much. He’d been hanging around and keeping an eye on Jen ever since, but Brady was willing to bet he no longer reported his actions to Stephen.

“Whip, eh?”

Trick winked at him, then shrugged. “It was a thought, but I’m more of a traditionalist. There’s nothing this baby can do that a strong, willing hand can’t do better.”

Ken moved closer and Brady frowned when he barely acknowledged his presence. “I’d disagree, but the way you hold my whip makes me nervous.”

“Yeah, Trick. I think the last thing you want to do is hurt someone.” If he’d been thinking about using that on his cousin, there might be a problem. “Speaking of mistakes, taking any classes at the college this semester, old man?”

Trick nodded, grinning at the threat beneath the question. “Auditing a few. And education is never a mistake, Marine. In fact, I’m learning a lot about dysfunctional family dynamics this go-round, so I’m here if you ever need to talk about your childhood. The middle son who kept growing so he would be seen, etcetera.”

Brady’s fists clenched and Ken patted Trick on the shoulder in a way that was clearly meant to end the conversation. “I appreciate your help, Trick. And you can take the whip if you want, but don’t use it until you can come back here and give me a demonstration of your skill.”

Trick laughed, handing it back to Ken instead. “You lifestylers have so many rules, you never have time for fun.” He nodded to Brady. “He knows I’m right, don’t you, big guy? He’s been here a week or so, right? Big boy doesn’t look like he’s had any fun at all. Have you let Tanaka do his Shibari voodoo on you yet? I hear it’s relaxing.”

“Brady’s not into kink, Trick. Which you know.” Now Ken’s voice held the warning.

Trick was oblivious. “Neither am I, in the strictest sense. You’ll never see me in leather and latex begging for my turn on the pain machine. The things I enjoy are meant for private parties and take a lot longer than a few hours every Thursday night. In my opinion, dirty is good, but kinky is complicated. Club kink, at any rate.”

He looked between Brady and Ken and shook his head, his knowing smile begging to be knocked off. “I can feel a lot of sexual tension in this room. Unfortunately it’s not directed at me so I think it’s time for me to leave. We’ll talk later. Try not to have any fun until you can give me a demonstration. I do like to watch, and fair is fair.”

Brady watched him disappear, feeling the tic pulsing at his temple. He’d already been in a bad mood, but Trick had managed to make it worse. He didn’t want to think about Jen getting mixed up with someone like him. She was back on track, back in school and taking a break from the experimenting that had led to her brush with the law. Trick wasn’t a criminal, but he wasn’t someone to take lightly. And he wasn’t good enough for Little Finn. But then, most of the family was in agreement that no one was.

Ken stepped in front of him and laid a hand on his arm. “You know he’s all talk. He likes yanking your chain, that’s all.”

The touch of his fingers sent a pulse of current up Brady’s spine. He took a step away to break the contact. “Everyone seems to enjoy that lately. Why was he here?”

Ken hesitated, then grabbed a water bottle and took a long drink, which was when Brady noticed the sheen that still covered his chest. He’d been working out. Trick must have interrupted him.

Brady wanted to lick the salt off his skin.

“Just a favor,” Ken said with a shrug. “He owes me more than one. Anyway, it’s not important. I have news. This morning I made sure that I’ll be doing a rope demo for the get-together. Once Cal told you where he was taking you, I made some quiet inquiries. The place is highly secure and private and prefers their own Doms as a rule. In fact, the only name I recognized is more hardcore than most, which made it harder to get in than it should have been. I had to make a few promises and twist a few arms to be put on the list, but we’re good to go. You won’t be alone, which is a good thing. I don’t trust places I can’t vet thoroughly.”

What had he done for Trick to get those favors? And who had he made promises to? Brady shook his head. He was seriously fucked up.

Marine heal thyself. What had he said in that video about acting like a jealous fishwife? What did he care?

“Who are you going to be hogtying this time for our deviant audience?”

Jesus, just stop talking.

Ken sent him a questioning look. “Someone I’ve worked with before who knows how to put on a good show. He’s a professional dancer. Why? Did you want to volunteer?”

Brady walked over to the leg press machine and started adding weight. “You already know I don’t. Maybe this dancer could be your partner in crime instead so you don’t need me to come with Cal. I think I did my part, right? We know where they’re going to be? With your skills at arm twisting, I’m sure you could get everything you needed on your own.”

He was being a difficult bastard and he knew it.

“What the hell, Finn? You know I can’t. I won’t be able to get near the target, but you’ll be introduced. Vargas is our ticket to ending this. You’ll shake his hand, and then you’ll be done. That’s what you want, right?” Ken strode over to him and dug his fingers into Brady’s forearm. “Why are you trying to back out now? Is it Cal?”

He hadn’t been planning on it, but Ken’s reaction—no longer so serene—pushed him to continue. Brady gripped Ken’s wrist firmly and dragged his hand away. “I don’t know, Tanaka. Maybe I’m not the right guy to play bait, even for a good cause. Leading people on is obviously a fetish of yours, but I don’t enjoy it. Even with a freak like Cal. God, especially him. Once this job is over, things will go back to normal for you, but I’ll be dealing with the fallout for a while.” He shook his head, turning back to the weights.

He’d have to warn Stephen. And stop using a traceable phone. And go to church to do penance for being such a jackass.

He didn’t see it coming. He felt a rush of air and then his feet were no longer beneath him and his back was slamming hard on the gym floor, stealing his breath.

Tanaka had swept his damn legs out from under him.

Ken straddled his waist, his braid brushing Brady’s chest and his amber eyes burning gold. “You think I’m leading you on? Is that what you told yourself?”

“Tanaka—”

“Who’s the real tease, Finn? The way you watch me every time I look away. The way you respond every time I touch you. Willingly participate just long enough to get me rock hard before you push me away with your no-kink excuse. That’s what it is, Brady. An excuse.”

Brady started to move and Ken used his hands to hold his shoulders down. “Let me finish. Have I ever asked to tie you up or whip you? No. But you don’t seem to care about that. It never occurred to you to ask why I’m in the life, or how much it does or doesn’t have to do with sex, because you’ve already decided. You never considered that I might be drawn to you. That I might like being with you. That I might just want to have my brains fucked out by a tall, well-hung Marine whose body drives me wild.”

Brady swallowed and licked his lips, his adrenaline pumping. Ken wasn’t wrong. He’d never asked because he didn’t want to know. It was a wall he could put up to protect himself. Four letters to stop him in his tracks. BDSM. It kept him from acting on his own darker desires. Kept him from losing himself to the chemistry between them. But now Ken was attempting to strip those excuses away, leaving Brady vulnerable. Exposed.

He bucked his hips up and twisted, flinging Ken to the floor beside him. Rolling quickly, he pinned Ken down with one arm behind his back and his hips trapped beneath Brady’s erection. “What about you? You could have offered to tell me. But you leave me twisting instead. You leave me to guess how you feel, what we’re really doing on this job, everything. First you suck my cock and then disappear for a month. Then you send me a text, but it’s only so I can use my giant ginger charms to help you on a job that makes me the focus of a pervert’s unwavering attention. You corner me in a restroom stall, hint at kinky role-play sessions that start just like this, and then you treat me like the invisible roommate until I piss you off.”

“I didn’t know he’d be that crazy.”

Brady sighed. “I know. But that’s the only thing I’m sure of.”

“You want to know all my secrets, Finn?”

I want to know you. “It would be a nice change.”

Brady couldn’t resist moving his hips against Ken’s, then doing it again when he heard the man beneath him moan.

“I’ll give you one right now,” Ken panted. “It’s your secret too. I know you watched me in the shower that first morning. I know what you saw. You think I wouldn’t notice the camera angle?”

Brady froze. Ken knew about that? When had he found out?

“Did you wish it was your thick dick that was stretching my ass instead of that dildo?” Ken asked, his voice a sexual challenge. “I did. I was riding it and knowing it wouldn’t be enough. I wanted it to be you.”

“Stop…” But Brady didn’t mean it.

“Did you come, Finn? Were you watching me fuck myself and stroking that hard cock? Or is that too kinky for a guy like you to admit to? I told you I wanted you. Do you have the balls to tell me what you want?”

Rising off him, Brady reached for the waistband of the loose black pants Ken was wearing and dragged them down and off, throwing them over his shoulder. He dragged Ken up to a standing position in front of him and cupped his jaw with trembling fingers. “You want me again?”

“I always want you, Brady. I was trying to give you space.”

“No space.” He was too turned on to argue. “Just sex. No toys or restraints or mind games, and I’m the one inside you. Give me your word and I’ll trust it.” More than he trusted himself right now.

Ken’s addictive lips parted for a short, shaky breath. “Anything you want, Finn. I’ve waited too long to care about anything else. Just fuck me.”

“Upstairs.” Brady bit out before lifting Ken off his feet and walking toward the service elevator. “Does this work?”

“Everything works.”

Good. He didn’t think he could let Ken go long enough to race up one flight of stairs. He didn’t have the strength.

He pushed the button as Ken wrapped his long, agile legs around him, pressing his erection against Brady’s stomach and lowering his mouth for a kiss. Brady groaned as Ken sucked on his tongue the way he’d sucked his cock. Hungry. Greedy. God, he never wanted it to stop.

Inside the elevator, Ken pushed Brady’s sweatpants down with his feet. Without lifting his mouth, Brady toed off his sneakers and stepped out of his clothes. Finally. This. Skin to skin. He didn’t want anything between them that didn’t have to be.

The door opened with a soft ding and Brady walked blindly, praying he was going in the right direction.

Ken lifted his mouth and gasped. “Here. Do it here.”

“Lube,” he croaked. “Condom.”

Ken moaned and pressed his face into Brady’s neck, licking and biting the sensitive flesh, making Brady shudder. “Top drawer in the bathroom.”

They managed to turn the knob on the loft door together, swinging it open while Brady made a beeline for that top drawer. He had to get inside Ken. He couldn’t think of anything else.

Brady set him down beside the bed and let him go, turning for the bathroom. “Top drawer?”

Before Ken could respond, Brady was rifling through varying sizes and flavors of condoms and lubes. So many, he thought wildly. Where did he get… I just need—there. Regular lube and the right sized condom. Hallelujah.

He came out with his hands full and found Ken waiting for him with flushed cheeks and swollen lips. Grabbing Brady’s arm, he dropped to his knees, taking them both down to the floor.

Brady glanced at the bed beside them and Ken chuckled raggedly. “You got me all worked up in the gym, Finn. Pinning me to the floor like that. I loved it. I want you to fuck me right here.”

Fuck yes.

Ken set the lube down beside them and took the condom out of Brady’s hand.

Tearing it open, he bent his head and swiftly mouthed the tip of Brady’s erection before rolling the latex down with expert fingers.

It took all of Brady’s control to let him finish. As soon as Ken let go, Brady was on him, kissing him and sliding his sheathed erection against Ken’s hard shaft.

God, yes. Need you. Need you so much. I’ll be careful. I’ll make it so good…

Ken bit Brady’s lip until he tasted blood, making him snarl and lift his head to see the sparkle of desire and mischief in those golden eyes. “I promised no toys, but you have to promise something too.”

Anything. “What?”

“Don’t hold back.”

He didn’t know what he was asking. “Tanaka, I—”

Ken pressed one finger to his lips. “I took you down in the gym and I can do it again. I know pressure points that could put you in the fetal position. I could stop you if you were hurting me. I can take you, Brady Finn. So take me.”

Jesus, that was hot. His words caused something inside Brady to burst apart. He caught Ken’s surprised expression before he twisted him around, pressing his chest to the floor. Brady spread Ken’s ass cheeks roughly and poured a liberal amount of lube between them, his mouth watering and cock twitching at the sight of the tight little hole being readied for him.

“This is what I wanted to do,” he rasped, hardly recognizing his voice as fantasy merged with reality. “In the shower. I wanted to throw you on the floor and fuck you. Make you scream my name. Make you come.”

A fine tremor shook Ken’s lean body beneath his hands and he lifted up onto his elbows, his ass tilting enticingly. “Do it, Brady. I need it. Make me scream.”

Jesus. Brady gripped Ken’s hip and guided his cock to that tight ring of muscles that clenched in anticipation. Would he hurt him? “Tell me if you need me to stop.”

Brady hissed as he pushed the head of his shaft inside and felt Ken’s muscles squeeze around him like a vise. “Fuck, you’re tight. Damn it, I’ve never felt anything so ti— We need to slow down…”

He heard Ken breathe out with a low moan, and then Brady was shouting in shock and arousal as Ken backed up forcefully, impaling and stretching himself wide on Brady’s cock. “Fuck.”

“Yes.” Ken cried. “Oh God, you’re so big. Fuck me, Finn. Make me take it. I need it so bad.”

Brady bent over Ken’s back, one hand digging into his shoulder and the other wrapping around his braid as he started to move inside him. Deeper. “You like that?” He yanked the braid and Ken cried out. “Damn, that’s sexy, Tanaka. Do it again.” Another yank and another cry of arousal.

He dragged his hips back, grinding his teeth with the effort of restraint. Such a tight fit. He wouldn’t last long, but he never wanted to stop.

He’d never imagined it would feel like this. That sex could feel like this. Like dying and being born again with every thrust of his hips. It felt so good it hurt. So good he forced himself to pick out a tattoo on Ken’s back he could focus on in case he started losing control. He wanted to make this last.

“Brady.” Ken moaned low, shuddering. “Harder. Your cock is in me so deep, everywhere, and I’m so close. Fuck me harder so I can come.”

He hadn’t even touched him yet. Brady’s hand left his hip to grip Ken’s erection. It was already dripping with pre-cum. Ken shuddered again at the touch and Brady’s fingers were coated. Holy shit. “Can you come like this, Ken? If I give you the hard fucking you’re begging for, will you come for me?”

“Need to come for you. Want you so bad. Make me…” Ken sounded lost in pleasure. Brady couldn’t resist him. Not now.

He dropped Ken’s braid and held onto his other shoulder, the wet fingers of his other hand firmly on Ken’s stomach. He took a deep breath that was more like a prayer before increasing his rhythm. Faster. He heard the slap of their flesh with each quick thrust and grit his teeth as lightning started to spark up his spine.

God, that’s it. You love it don’t you, you sexy bastard? Love having that tight hole fucked and filled so much you’re going to come before I do.

Ken cried out his approval when Brady started to sling his hips forward with more force. It felt so good he had to go deeper. Harder.

Harder. Pin him to the floor and fuck him. That was what Ken wanted. That was what Brady was desperate to give him.

The large room rang with their hoarse cries as he set a jarring, punishing rhythm. Ken’s tight ass stretched around him, trying to accommodate his girth, and seeing it made Brady wilder. Soon his hips were banging into Ken’s so hard and fast that the man beneath him started clawing at the wood floor for purchase. “Is that too hard, Ken? Too much? Are you going to try and stop me now?” Don’t tell me to stop.

“Don’t stop, Finn,” he begged hoarsely. “That’s it. Like that. Oh, that big cock is fucking me so hard. It’s perfect. Give me more.”

Brady started to growl with each impact, hearing Ken begging for him. For more. It was perfect. Raw. He’d never let go like this before. Never taken what he really wanted without holding back. This was what he needed. And Ken wanted more.

Ken’s hand reached for his where it had flattened on his stomach. “Coming.” His words were garbled with arousal. “I’m coming for you, Brady. Coming hard for you.”

Brady gripped Ken’s cock and felt each pulsing wave as he ejaculated onto the floor. “Christ, Ken, I—”

Knowing he was coming without help made Brady so hot that he fell over the edge. He pressed Ken’s shoulders down flat on the floor and filled him over and over again as he found his climax, shouting his name and falling into oblivion. “Ken. God, Tanaka. Ken… Oh, fuck!”

Lightning struck and he couldn’t hear anything but his own heart. Couldn’t feel anything but Ken’s tight ass milking his release as he rocked against him.

They both collapsed onto their sides, still connected as they rode the rough aftershocks together. Ken pushed back into him like a cat in need of stroking and Brady lifted one weak arm to caress his hip. He was glad he hadn’t hurt him. The man beside him was practically humming with pleasure and release, removing all his doubts.

Brady had come so hard his body was nearly boneless, but his mind was already reeling from shock.

What the hell just happened?

Great sex.

Not strong enough. He couldn’t find the right words to describe the heights he’d just reached, what he’d felt when Ken… Was that normal for him? He knew he touched himself when he was alone in the shower, but he hadn’t needed to with Brady. Could he do that with all his lovers? Brady didn’t want to ask, didn’t want to know if other men had gotten that reaction. This belonged to him.

In thirty-four years he’d had five relationships, including his first time in the back of the minivan his date had borrowed from his mother. He admitted to not being as experienced as…well, ninety-eight percent of his male relatives, but he enjoyed sex and loved orgasms as much as everyone else.

What had just happened with Ken was another level, another galaxy, from anything he knew. And as the knot formed in his stomach, he realized that most of his other reasons for putting Ken off had been bullshit. This was why he’d resisted. Somehow he’d known that having him would change things forever. Change him. That he would never want to give it up, and that nothing less would ever be enough.

Just sex, he’d told him. But it felt like more. It felt like everything.