Chapter Five

 

He woke up shouting in horror. Pain. Shock. Men and women were running toward him on fire, the smell of charred flesh all around him.

“Brady, wake up. You’re dreaming. Just a dream.”

Ken was here, nearly on top of him, as if he’d been trying to hold Brady down.

A dream. Already fading. Just a memory. Brady forced himself to stop struggling. “I’m awake. You can let me go.”

As soon as Ken released him Brady threw back the covers and got to his feet. He headed for the bathroom sink to splash cool water on his face and slow his racing heart. Only a bad dream. You’re home. It’s over. Let it go.

He wished it were that easy. Wished he could fall back into Ken’s arms and go to sleep without seeing those images burned in his mind. But that wasn’t going to happen now.

They’d spent the entire day in the loft exploring each other. Again and again they’d given in to the need that only got stronger each time. Again and again Ken had proven to be the most creative and passionate lover Brady could have asked for. His body was incredibly responsive. As addicting as his mouth.

The sex had been so mind altering that he’d actually forgotten about his nighttime handicap and fallen asleep. He never thought about how his nightmares would affect someone sleeping in the same bed. Had he physically lashed out in his effort to escape? Had he hurt Ken?

He saw Ken’s reflection in the mirror, his hair loose and flowing down his back in a way that made Brady’s breath catch. “I’m really sorry I woke you. What time is it?”

“Three-thirty. And don’t worry about it. Are you okay?”

He used the hand towel to dry his face and forced a smile. “Just a bad dream. It happens. You should go back to bed. I’m going to grab something cool to drink.”

And go back across the hall so I don’t wake you when it happens again.

When he got to the kitchen he realized Ken was still behind him. “How often?”

“What?” He poured a glass of water, wanting to do anything but talk about this.

Ken pushed his hair back away from his face and watched him with knowing eyes. “How often does it happen? Once a month? Once a week?”

Every night since he’d come home, with the exception of the Great Rumming of 2015, when he didn’t dream at all. He supposed getting blackout-drunk had benefits, but he wouldn’t trade one problem for another. “Unless you have a swampy tea for bad dreams, it doesn’t really matter, does it? Anyway I’m told they’ll fade in time. Seriously, Tanaka, go back to bed.”

Ken sent him a speaking look. “Just because you broke my body with your big hard cock doesn’t mean you can boss me around. I’ll go to bed when I feel like it, preferably with one hand tangled in that sexy red chest hair and yours on my ass.”

Brady licked his lips, his cock stirring as he stared at Ken’s body. There were bruises on his hips and arms that made Brady frown, but Ken kept assuring him he wasn’t hurt. And he was vocal enough about his pleasure that there was no way Brady could doubt it. “If you’re staying awake too, I’m always up for another round of body breaking.”

Ken shook his head. “On the couch. Now.”

He went to sit down, sighing heavily. He didn’t like talking about it. Jeremy had caught him wandering around the house in the middle of the night that first week and Brady had tried to make light of it, but he could tell the man had been genuinely concerned. He’d tried to convince Brady to talk to someone about it, but in some ways he couldn’t avoid being his father’s son. Pride kept him from seeing a therapist. Pride kept him from telling his brothers. Pride told him he just needed to suck it up and wait it out. To be a man.

Pride was a chatty little son of a bitch.

“Look, I’m fine, Tanaka. I usually only sleep a few hours a night. The Marines don’t give you a lot of time to work on your napping skills.”

Ken sat down in his lap, his bare ass pressed against Brady’s thickening shaft while he stared him down. “I appreciate how bad you are at lying, but you don’t need to bother. Not with me.”

“I’m not lying when I tell you your ass is distracting me. But don’t move. I like it.”

Ken didn’t move. “I like it too, Finn. I like everything about this. Except the part where you woke up screaming. Have you talked to someone?”

“I’m talking to you right now,” Brady responded swiftly. “I’ve talked to Jeremy. I don’t really see the point in talking to a stranger about something only time can fix.”

“Stubborn. Is it the red hair? Or the Finn in you?”

“Unless you want some Finn in you, we should talk about something else.”

Ken’s smile was tinged with a sadness that tugged at Brady’s heart. “Okay then. I’ll share. I think it’s time I told you about the man we’re looking for. The reason I’ve put you through that Cal torture and not kicked his ass and called it a day. His name is Terry. Terry Wahl.”

He’d wanted Ken to offer up some information. Now his stomach was in knots, not knowing what Ken would say. “He’s a friend?”

“He should have been. And I should have told you about him from the beginning, but I’m not used to sharing that part of my life with anyone.”

Brady lifted his hand to the artwork on Ken’s back, tracing the designs and trying not to push. “How do you know him?”

“His mother Patricia took me in after my parents died.” Ken leaned into him and Brady pulled him closer, aching for his loss. “She was my father’s secretary. After the accident, when she realized there was no family at the funeral and no one willing to come for me, she filed the paperwork to become my foster mother. I lived with her and her two boys until I was old enough to claim my trust fund.”

“And were you happy there?”

“I liked her,” Ken evaded. “I was fifteen, grieving and angry at being abandoned. I was obsessed with games and electronics even then, so that helped. They were easier to deal with than people. Than thinking about what I’d lost. If I could understand a machine, I could fix it. I used to take Patricia’s computer apart once a week. It drove her up the wall.”

It would have been tough to keep up with Tanaka as a teen. “She was a single mom?”

Ken grinned. “She said a husband was a distraction she couldn’t afford with three boys and a job. She also said men were usually only good for one thing, and then only in the first month of the relationship before they got complacent. She never said that to us of course, but I used to eavesdrop through the vents on Scrabble night when her girlfriends came over.”

Brady laughed and adjusted himself discreetly. He was completely focused on the conversation, but his body kept reminding him that Ken was naked. “She sounds like quite a woman.”

“She was. She is.” Ken touched the cross around his neck. “And I can’t let her down again.”

Again?

“You didn’t let her down.”

Ken’s laugh held no humor. “You don’t know that.”

“I know you. You’d never do anything to—”

“I left them,” Ken interrupted. “When I got my money, I left for school and had never looked back. My teachers thought I was a genius and I was in love with a tall California cowboy with a fetish for rope. I was living the dream.”

In love? “There’s nothing wrong with that. You were young. Why shouldn’t you want to have fun?” He’d been in love with a cowboy?

Get a fucking grip, Brady.

“I said the same thing. I told myself it was fine because I’d done the math and given Patricia a sum equal to the cost of raising a teenage boy for three years. I sent her Christmas cards. What I didn’t do was call or try to get together with her or the boys for the next thirteen years.”

“People drift apart. I’m sure if they’d needed you—” 

“She probably needed me the day Dale was sent home from Iraq in a box. But I didn’t even know the boys had enlisted.”

“Oh, hell, Ken. That’s…” He honestly didn’t know what to say. Jesus.

“Exactly.” Ken slid off his lap and grabbed the throw from the back of the couch to wrap around his waist. Brady surreptitiously slid a pillow onto his lap. “Finn Club is looking pretty damn good right now, isn’t it? No matter what happens or what you’ve been through, none of you would ever think about abandoning your family. Even the family yours basically adopted, like Tasha and Jeremy.”

“Not true. I think a few of us have had moments where we wished we didn’t have to deal with the Finn clan. Didn’t have so many people to answer to. I know I’ve thought about leaving,” Brady admitted softly, feeling the need to ease Ken’s guilt. “I came home and every familiar face reminded me of what I’d lost. That the guy they knew was gone and I was a fraud. If Stephen hadn’t hired me, if Owen and Jeremy hadn’t let me basically move in without asking… I might have started over somewhere else and never looked back.”

Ken sat down on the coffee table across from him and put his hand on Brady’s thigh. “Remind me that I owe them one.”

Squeezing Brady’s knee, Ken picked up the thread of his story. “A few years ago I realized my mistake and got in touch with Patricia. Terry was still enlisted, so I made sure to call her every week and get together for dinner a few times a month so she wouldn’t be alone. She was wary at first. I guess that’s why she didn’t tell me Terry was home right away. She was protecting him until he got on his feet. The doctors at the VA said he was suffering from PTSD.”

He sent Brady a look that said just like you before continuing.

“He had nightmares every night. He stopped sleeping completely for a while and she said he’d look right through her, as if he were seeing something else. Then he seemed to balance out. He’d gotten back on his meds and met a man, he told her. A wealthy man who spoiled him and promised he’d take care of him. He thought it was love.”

Brady could feel the anger rising inside him. “Vargas?”

“No. Richards was the first man’s name. But I think…I think from the files that these men like to pass their toys around. Those phrases I couldn’t figure out? I finally cracked it a few days ago. Burke kept track of that with his own cypher since he procured more than one companion for them over the years, all of them young and strong. All of them lost and malleable. It was his way of keeping them in his pocket.”

“Motherfucker.”

“We’re close,” Ken murmured. “If I’m right, and I think I am, Vargas was the last to trade with Richards. That has to mean he has Terry or knows where he is.”

He hesitated. “I’ve hated putting you in this position, Brady. I hate that you’ve had to deal with a man like Grimes, and that your second experience with BDSM might be worse than the first. If there was any other way…”

“I know there isn’t,” Brady assured him.

“If we can get Terry back, I have the money and Trick knows people who can help him and Patricia disappear. Protect them until I can send those bastards where they belong.”

“We. Until we can send those bastards where they belong.” Brady covered Ken’s hand with his own. “Thank you for telling me. I’m in this now and I promise you, we’ll get Terry back to his mother.”

“Thank you. No more talking about this.” Ken undid the blanket and stood, tangling his fingers with Brady’s. “Come with me.”

Brady had no desire to resist. He felt protective of Ken for the first time since he’d known him. He’d seemed so independent. Almost too perfect. But he was as messed up as everybody else. It made him more beautiful.

When they reached the bathroom, Ken squeezed his hand and let it go. “Don’t move.”

Brady watched him open a drawer in his dresser and take out a folded piece of paper. He walked over and handed it to him. “Read it.”

He looked down at the test results, understanding making his heart race. “This was done over four months ago.”

“Right after we met,” Ken agreed. “I can take it again tomorrow, but I haven’t been with anyone but you since then.”

He hadn’t? Something powerful and possessive swept through Brady. “Same here. And I got tested as soon as I came home.”

Brady tried to read his expression and Ken just smiled his fallen-angel smile. “I know.”

He frowned suspiciously. “You know?”

Ken braided and wrapped his hair in a bun, watching him. “I was curious. Don’t focus on it. Focus on the fact that we don’t need anything between us in the shower. That I don’t want anything between us. Focus on the fact that I have never said that before. Until you.”

All the blood rushed to his cock so fast it made him dizzy. He dropped the paper, came in and leaned against the sink while Ken started the shower. Brady’s gaze lingered on the tattoos on his back and he couldn’t resist reaching out to touch. They were done in black and stylized in such a way that they’d been hard to decipher at first glance, but on closer inspection, he could see a koi fish swirling around a dragon—the dragon’s tail went down his arm and in its claw was a lotus. It was beautifully done.

“What do they mean? The fish and the dragon?”

Ken stood, looking at him over his shoulder. “For me it’s about becoming more than I was yesterday. Learning from my mistakes and moving forward.”

“They’re sexy as hell.”

“That too.”

Ken stepped into the shower and let it soak him, reminding Brady how much he’d wanted to be with him the last time he saw him like this.

He followed Ken into the stall. “I really love this shower,” he muttered. “We both fit.”

“I’ve always had a thing for big men,” Ken admitted as he moved over to the long stone bench and sat down, looking up at Brady through his thick, dark lashes. “I’m told I’m particular. Big, strong redheads with delicious cocks are my current obsession.”

Ken licked his lips and Brady moved closer, gripping the base of his erection. “Is this what you wanted? In particular?”

“All the time.” Ken caressed Brady’s thighs and hips, his amber eyes bright and fixed on the thick shaft in front of him. “I got so turned on the first time I took you in my mouth. You were so big and I wanted you to come in my mouth so much I nearly came myself before you stopped me. It’s almost embarrassing how easy I am when it comes to you.”

Brady swore. Thinking about Ken coming made him impatient. “Don’t tell me how much you like it. Show me.”

He liked that. Brady could see it in his eyes. “Yes, sir.”

Ken tightened his fingers on Brady’s hips and opened his mouth over his waiting erection. Brady guided it in, watching those addictive lips, that magical mouth stretch wide as he filled it.

Oh, that’s beautiful. That’s so good. You can take me. Every fucking inch.

Ken moaned and leaned forward as if he’d accepted the unspoken challenge. He reached out and took Brady’s hands and put them on his head, telling him without words what he wanted.

He was putting Brady in control.

“Fuck,” Brady gasped, his fingers curling around the braided bun, palms cupping the back of Ken’s head. “I don’t want to…” Hurt you. I don’t want to give you more than you can take.

Ken groaned and took more, his tongue swirling around Brady’s shaft, making his thighs tremble from the restraint.

He wants it.

So did Brady. His grip tightened and he started to rock his hips forward, pushing his shaft deeper into Ken’s mouth. He could already feel the tip pressing against the back of his lover’s throat.

“I love your mouth,” Brady groaned. “The noises you make. The way your… I want to fuck it. Is that what you’re trying to tell me? Is that what you want?”

Ken nodded and made a sound of pleasure as he swallowed.

“Yes.” Need overpowered his control too quickly for him to react. To stop his hips from pumping a little deeper and his hands from tugging that hot mouth forward with each thrust. “God, yes. Fucking your hot mouth. Oh damn, Ken, that’s good. Taking me down deep. Damn—”

He couldn’t talk anymore. He couldn’t think. All he could do was watch Ken take everything he gave him, his mouth so full and stretched that tears were filling his eyes. Brady wanted to claim it, mark it with his release and watch Ken swallow him down. But he wanted something else more.

Brady let go of Ken’s hair and stepped back with a shudder, spinning around to turn off the shower.

“What are you doing? Why did you stop me again?” Ken’s voice was raw from Brady’s rough treatment.

That shouldn’t have turned him on.

He answered by picking Ken up with his arms around his ribs and carrying him with his feet inches off the floor until they reached the side of the bed. Then he tossed him back on those thin, cloud-like sheets.

“Damn it, Finn, we’ll soak the sheets.”

Brady didn’t care. He reached for the bottle of lube and slid his hands under Ken’s damp thighs, spreading and pushing until his knees were pressed against his shoulders.

He loved how flexible Ken was. He wanted to bend and twist and take him in every position he could find. He just wanted Ken, any way he could have him.

“What are you doing?” Ken asked again, a little breathless now.

Coating his own erection with lube, Brady tried to smile, but his muscles felt too tight. “Making you come for me.”

He pressed one lubed finger inside Ken’s ass and bit his lip as those powerful muscles gripped it tight. He slid another finger inside and groaned. “You shouldn’t have told me I could have it before you started teasing me in the shower.”

“Have what?”

“I love your mouth, I do. But I can’t get enough of this ass, Tanaka. I want to spend hours on it. In it. And I want to feel what it’s like inside with nothing between us. I want it so bad I ache.”

“Don’t tell me how much you like it,” Ken gasped, repeating Brady’s words. “Show me.”

Brady pulled his fingers out in one swift move and replaced them with the head of his bare cock, making Ken gasp again.

“Are you ready for me, Tanaka?”

“I’m always ready for you.”

He leaned forward until the backs of Ken’s thighs were pressing against his shoulders and their mouths were only inches apart. Then he flexed the cheeks of his ass and slung his hips forward, filling Ken with one forceful stroke.

“Fuck!” Ken cried into his mouth. “Ah, God. Brady. So deep. I can feel you…”

Brady’s fists were destroying the sheet on either side of Ken’s head as he fought to hold himself together. “So much better,” he muttered. “How can it be better?”

Ken reached up and cupped the back of Brady’s head. “Kiss me and make me come, Finn.”

Brady kissed him and began to rock inside him. Jesus, that was good. Ken’s tongue was tangling with his as their bodies fought to get closer. He couldn’t get close enough.

After a few minutes he tore his mouth away and arched his neck, dizzy and aroused and desperate for air. “What was that?”

Ken’s hands had lowered to Brady’s ass while their lips were locked, and he’d slipped one finger between Brady’s cheeks and started to massage his clenched muscles.

“Don’t stop,” Ken panted. “I couldn’t help it. Your tongue was in my mouth, your thick cock is in my ass and I wanted everything.”

Brady took both his hands and held them over Ken’s head. “I’m trying to give you everything, Tanaka. Don’t distract me.”

He’d loved it too much.

Having Ken completely unable to move, his legs over his shoulders and his hands over his head, made Brady wild. He’d captured his prey. He was in control. “Ken,” he growled. “Ken, let me… Don’t stop me.”

The blood was rushing so fast in his ears that he couldn’t tell if he’d gotten permission, but it was too late. He needed to fuck. He needed to claim. He dug into the bed and his hips were like pistons, pumping harder and faster and—Oh Fuck, mine. This is mine.

He was looking down between their bodies, watching his cock disappear into that tight hole again and again, when he heard Ken’s broken shout. “Brady.”

Primal satisfaction seared up his spine when he saw the head of Ken’s flushed cock pulse as he came. He wanted to taste it. Wanted to lick every last drop off Ken’s stomach and take him in his mouth until he was ready to do it again.

But he could feel Ken’s muscles pulsing and squeezing his cock as he came. It was too good. He needed to come. Nothing between them. Nothing to stop his climax from filling Ken’s ass. The last thought pushed him over the edge. He let go of Ken’s wrists, sliding his hands down to his slick shoulders as he came. “Inside you. Fuck, Ken, I’m coming inside you, baby.” No one else.

“Yes.”

He was blind with adrenaline and ecstasy and the feeling that he was home. Right now. With Ken… “Fuck.”

Ken wrapped his arms and legs around Brady, rocking him as he shook with the force of his orgasm. “That was…”

“I know.”

More than he could have expected or hoped for...

And scary as hell.