Chapter 28
Luna
It was early morning when I made my way to the kitchen. I didn't know how I’d managed to leave Jace in bed, get a shower, and get dressed all without waking him. I laughed to myself thinking that I must have worn him out. Every time one of us had awoken during the night we’d reached out for the other, and it had usually ended up in a session of hot, earth-shattering sex. I couldn't think of it as making love, because that would mean that our relationship was something that it wasn't, and he'd made it clear that while we were exclusive, we weren't permanent.
Did he care about me at all, other than as a woman to satisfy his urges with? I didn't even want to think about what that made me. Desperate came to mind, but I knew that wasn't true. Shameless, yes, where he was concerned. I'd never tried drugs, I’d never been addicted to anything other than coffee and chocolate, but I knew that Jace was like a drug that I couldn't get enough of, and the more I had of him, the more I needed him.
I entered the main room of the clubhouse to find it dark and quiet. The place was a mess though, with the lingering odor of stale booze, perfume, and something else. At least Reaper didn't allow smoking inside the building, but with the scent that I was picking up, cigarette smoke would have been easier on the nose. Table tops were cluttered with bottles and glasses, the floor was littered with food and spills. I made my way to the kitchen, flipping on the light just inside the door.
My gaze fell on the coffee maker. It was the kind used in restaurants, and looked complicated to someone who'd never used one before. Closer inspection revealed that it wasn't that complicated at all. Someone had been kind enough to print out the directions and tape it to the maker. I filled the reservoir, added a new filter and the amount of grounds that it called for, and hit the button. I leaned against the counter and waited, and in no time the aroma of freshly brewed coffee was filling the large kitchen.
"Thank fuck someone made coffee!"
I jumped and let out a squeal, spinning toward the doorway to see Jim walk through. "Damn!" I swore, slapping my hand over my heart.
He laughed and continued my way. "Sorry for scaring you, honey. Are you the angel who made coffee?"
"I am," I said, pouring a cup and handing it to him before pouring one for myself. "Is Casey still sleeping?" I added sugar and creamer, eager to take that first sip.
"Yeah. She finally went back to sleep at about four." He brought his cup up to his mouth, drinking it black.
I looked at him over the rim of my cup, took a sip, and asked, "She had a bad night?"
He nodded, sighing with what sounded like frustration. "I swear for every two steps forward she takes one step back. Guess that's normal, according to the doc." He gave me a long look, his brows furrowing. "You were there when those fuckers—." He halted abruptly, clenching his jaw and looking down at his feet. After a minute he took a deep breath and returned his gaze to mine. "I feel like there's something she's not telling me."
It was my turn to look toward the ground. I didn't want Jim to see the guilt in my eyes as I thought about what Casey had told me about her step-father. I couldn't break her trust, but he needed to know, and Casey needed to get it off her chest.
"What's wrong?"
I shook my head and took another sip of coffee, refusing to meet his eyes.
"Did they do something more to her? Something she hasn't told me? Fuck, Luna, I can't help her if I don't know everything!"
I understood his frustration, but I couldn't betray Casey. She was my best friend.
"I can tell that you know something!" he all but shouted at me. "You can't even look me in the eye! What more did those fuckers do to her?" he snarled.
What more could they have done to her? I wanted to scream back at him. His anger made me angry, because I still half-blamed him for what had happened, but I managed to keep mine from surfacing. It wouldn't help Casey. It was Casey's story to tell, and though I wouldn't betray her trust, I could at least encourage Jim to talk to her, get her to open up to him. Maybe his persistence would persuade her into telling him her secret.
Before I could say anything, Jim slammed his coffee cup down onto the counter and grabbed me by the upper arms. "Tell me!" he yelled, shaking me.
His actions caught me unaware and my coffee cup slipped from my fingers and crashed to the floor between my sneakered feet. Hot coffee splashed up onto my bare legs, but I barely acknowledged it, focusing on the irate man in front of me. My hands came up to ward Jim off, but his grip was firm around my arms.
"Jim‒"
"Take your fucking hands off her, brother!"
At the sound of Jace's voice we both turned to see him storming in our direction. He was on us in a second, taking Jim by the shoulder and pulling him away from me. In the same instant, he pulled his arm back and doubled his hand into a fist.
"Jace, no!" I grabbed his arm with both hands to hold him back. I didn't want to be the cause of him hitting his brother. "It's okay! He's upset!"
"I'm fucking upset!" he snapped, glaring down at me. "He put his hands on you!"
"I wasn't going to hurt her, brother," Jim said, not making any attempt to pull away from the hold that Jace had on his cut.
"You don't touch my woman," Jace growled at Jim.
"Then hit me if it will make you feel better." Jim stood firm, offering his taut jaw as if he had no choice. "I deserve it for putting my hands on her."
What? At that point I was confused. I stood, glancing back and forth between both men, who were facing each other with heaving chests and angry expressions. I couldn't take my eyes off the incredible alpha male that was Jace. He stood poised for action, the glitter in his eyes like twin lightning bolts that promised pain, his lips pulled back over his teeth in a tiger's snarl. He took my breath away, even as my heart skipped a beat in fear.
"Jace, no!" I said firmly, drawing his gaze to me. "He didn't hurt me," I finished softly, willing him to calm down. I still gripped his arm, afraid that if I let go he would deliver that punch that both men seemed to want. I literally felt the change come over him as his arm relaxed in my hold. "I don't want to be the cause of trouble between you two."
"He knows brothers don't put hands on another brother's woman," Jace explained in a gritty voice, his expression still dark with anger.
"You're right, brother. I lost control. Just wanted information from Luna, that's all." He hit the cabinet over his head with a violent punch that caused me to jump, and revealed the extent of his own frustration. "I'm fucking lost!" he barked. "There's something more that’s tormenting Casey, I can feel it, but she won't talk." His gaze came back to me. "Last night she woke from a nightmare screaming a man's name, something about an accident, and calling for her mother. Had nothing to do with what went down at the Destroyers' hideout."
I felt the burning gaze of both men's eyes swing to me, and this time I didn't look away from the questions churning in Jim's. "Jim, I . . . I," I paused to consider the words that I wanted to use. It was obvious that the attack at the hideout had brought the memories of what her step-father had done to her and mother's death back to the surface of her mind. "There is something else," I finally blurted. "I won't break Casey's confidence, but‒"
"Damn it!" Jim snapped, his hands fisting.
"Easy, brother. Let her finish."
I gave Jace a grateful smile, and then continued. "There is an incident that occurred in her past. I think Casey felt that she'd dealt with it and had put it behind her, but apparently what happened to her recently made it fresh in her mind again."
"Are you saying that she was raped before?" His brows furrowed.
There was no way that I was going to confirm or deny it. My hesitation was telling enough for him to draw his own conclusion.
"Son of a bitch!" he swore. "Tell me who the fucker is and I'll fucking end him!" He began pacing.
"It was my step-father."
No one had noticed that Casey was standing in the doorway. We turned to see her frozen there, pale and shaking. She was still dressed in her night clothes--a pair of long capris and a baggy tee, her blue hair wild about her shoulders. Her eyes were focused on Jim, a look of sad regret swimming in the tears that she was struggling to hold back. Tears gathered in my own eyes. She'd been through so much.
"My step-father raped me, and then he killed my mother."
I was so proud of the strength she was conveying.
Next to me I heard a low hiss escape Jace. "Please tell me this asshole is in prison," he snarled.
Casey acknowledged him with a shake of her head. "I wish. There were no witnesses to the hit and run, but later he told me what he'd done."
Silence followed.
I'd already made up my mind that she had to tell Jim the rest. "Tell him what else, honey. Please."
Her glistening gaze met mine briefly.
"Tell me, babe," Jim encouraged, going to Casey. "I need to know. I can't protect you if I'm kept in the dark."
She squared her shoulders, and I could see her take a deep breath. I knew that this was costing her. She'd wanted the protection of the club, but she hadn't wanted to reveal the reasons why--that there was a monster looking for her. "Before he disappeared, he told me that I was next. That's when I came here. I'm just waiting for him to find me."
Jim took her into his arms and crushed her against him. "That’s not going to happen," he rasped in a firm tone, he and Jace exchanging a knowing look that spoke volumes.
I couldn't help but wonder what they were thinking. I felt better knowing that Jim knew her secret now. Something told me that sharing it with Jim would help Casey tremendously. Talking about it was part of the healing process.
"The bastard will never get close to you, babe, I promise."
"Jim?" I heard her mumble against his chest.
"What, babe?"
"Can I have a cup of coffee?"
I could hear the smile in her voice, and, at the mention of coffee, I glanced down at the floor. I bent to clean up the mess when Jace reached for my arm and pulled me up. "Let a prospect take care of that, darlin'."
I opened my mouth to protest, but he snapped it closed with a finger beneath my jaw. "That's their job."
His sexy wink was the equivalent of a brief kiss, sending a light tingle of awareness down my spine, and his smile was contagious. "Can I get my best friend a cup of coffee?"
"That you can do."
"Sugar and creamer, Casey?" I opened the cupboard and reached for a cup. When she didn't answer I glanced over to see her and Jim locked in a tight embrace, kissing passionately. Well, that was encouraging! They were both breathing heavily when the kiss ended, and there was a flush of excitement on Casey's face that was a hundred times better than her earlier paleness.
"Extra cream, no sugar, and we'll take that coffee to go," she finally responded, not taking her eyes off Jim.
"Yeah, we have some things to discuss," Jim added in a serious tone.
Smiling and feeling more light hearted than I had for days, I filled her cup and fixed it the way she wanted it before taking it to her. "Here, honey." Our gazes clung as she took the cup from me. "I'm so proud of you." I leaned in and gave her cheek a kiss. "See you later."
She nodded, her eyes glistening and her mouth quivering. I had a feeling that she was too emotional to speak. I watched them walk away before I turned back to Jace. I crossed my arms, giving him a stern look. "I can't believe you were going to hit him for touching me."
He laughed. "Baby, he's lucky I didn't kill him."
I rolled my eyes. "Overreact much?"
"I didn't like the way he was touching you. I didn't know what was going on, and he looked like he wanted to hurt you. Club rules. You don't touch someone else's woman, for any reason."
"As if that explains everything." I walked further into the room, closer to him. My aim was to get another cup of coffee, but before I had the chance to open the cupboard door, I found my wrist being grabbed and I was spun around to face Jace.
"Then let me explain it in words you'll understand," he growled, bringing me up against his strong body.
I caught my breath, arousal fluttering in my belly.
"No one else touches what's mine, Luna. I don't want another man to know how soft your skin is, or get close enough to catch the scent of your arousal." I started to laugh when he gave me a little shake. "Serious, baby. When you're turned on I can smell your scent from across the room."
I did laugh then, because that was impossible. I told him so.
"Oh, yeah? Then how come I can smell your pussy right now?"
My smile disappeared completely. I caught my breath, my heart pounding. Could he? After the night of sex that we'd shared, my body had been sticky with dried cum this morning and the odor of sex had been strong. Carefully, so he didn't notice, I took in a deep breath to see if I could detect any unusual smell, feeling silly afterward. "I took a shower," I said smugly. "You're imagining things."
"Really?" he sounded way too cocky and confident. "I bet your pussy is wet right now."
I felt myself flush with heat because his words alone made me wet.
"I bet if I reached inside your panties right now I'd find your pretty little cunt soaked and ready for my dick." His hand moved to the back of my head, closing into my damp hair. "You think I don't recognize your smell, baby? Think I don’t recognize the signs when you want me?"
His kiss opened the floodgates, and I sank against Jace, a willing captive, responding to his rough possession. I was so weak when it came to him. I made it too easy for him. I should have made him fight for the right to kiss and touch me, but part of me realized that I would be the one to suffer the consequences. He could easily find a willing woman to take my place, and I knew that he would, too.
That he had voiced his lack of commitment the night before only reinforced my understanding that he was determined to keep things simple and impersonal between is. Basically, according to Jace, the only thing that we had going for us was great sex.
I knew that we were supposed to be only temporarily exclusive, but it was becoming more apparent to me that I no longer had control over my feelings for Jace. He was used to going through life fucking his way through nameless women without getting emotional about it, whereas I'd only been with one other man besides him, and that had been in a relationship that had involved my heart.
The conversation we’d had the night before, just before we'd fallen asleep, had revealed that he was planning to move on soon, and that was going to suck for me.
He cupped my butt and lifted me up against him, grinding his big, rock-hard cock right where I wanted it. Moans of pleasure rolled up my throat. I opened my mouth to his searching tongue, sucking it inside my mouth. The taste of minty toothpaste exploded through my mouth, tantalizing my taste buds. I went a little mad, sucking and biting down on his bottom lip. His growl followed, and suddenly we were backing up and I was being lifted onto the counter top.
"Jesus!" Jace rasped, resting his forehead against mine. "We've got to stop before I fuck you right here in the kitchen."
I giggled, running my hands through his hair. "What happened to my big, bad biker who would have fucked me in the bar if I'd been wearing a skirt?"
His hands dropped to my covered thighs. "You're not wearing a skirt now, either, baby."
"Guess I'll need to go shopping," I grinned.
He nodded, and stepped back. "Came looking for you for a reason." Something flickered in his blue eyes that worried me, and whatever it was looked like it worried him, too. "Got a call from my friend Rebel this morning."
Rebel? It took me a minute to remember who Rebel was. My eyes grew big, thinking the worst.
"Your folks are okay, baby. That's not why he called. Seems your ex has disappeared."
What! "Disappeared?"
"Yeah. Rebel wasn't only keeping an eye on your folks' place, he also did some snooping around. Your ex never went back to your parents' house after that day."
I nodded, understanding why. "No, he wouldn't if the police talked with him. He's too concerned about his image. He wouldn't want it to get out that I'd left him, or that the police gave him a warning to stay away. He's very careful that the public only views him as a successful surgeon who also happens to be on the board at his hospital." I was relieved to hear that Seth hadn't gone back to my parents' house. "So what makes your friend think that Seth's disappeared?"
"After a couple of days when nothing happened, Rebel went into town, found out that your ex hadn't been going to work. Couldn't find out anything at the hospital, so he went to his apartment." That didn't surprise me, Seth's staff was very loyal to him. Jace made a whooshing sound. "You're slumming, babe."
Apparently Rebel had told him how up-scale the apartment was that I'd shared with Seth. "I like my little Shasta trailer," I responded with my nose in the air. "And I may have dropped some standards, but I've definitely upgraded to a better man."
I thought my comment would make Jace grin, but it had the opposite effect. His expression turned serious, and my smile faded.
"Before I get into an argument about why I'm not a better man, I assume that your ex doesn't know how to find you?"
"No, only my parents know where I am, and he doesn't know about the camp, so there's no reason for him to suspect I'm living there. The trailer belonged to my grandfather and hadn't been used for years."
Jace nodded. "Good. Rebel said the apartment looked like no one lived there. Everything was clean and tidy."
"That's how Seth likes things, clean and tidy. And before you ask, I have no idea where he could have gone. Seth is a workaholic and a creature of habit, from what he eats to what color tie he wears on what day of the week. He doesn't just take time off. When we were together we vacationed precisely two weeks a year, consecutively, and usually out of the country."
"Fun guy," Jace snorted. "No wonder you left him."
I just stared at him, his comment leaving me ice cold. I knew that he hadn't meant it to come out so judgmentally, but it still hurt. He didn't know anything about the kind of life that I'd lived with Seth. Leaving Seth had been more about survival. Every time he'd gotten physical with me it had been worse than the time before, and I'd been certain the day would come that he would snap and go too far. Little by little, the young, ambitious intern that I'd fallen in love with had become a monster.
Listening to my own words about the way my life with Seth had been made me feel weak and ashamed. Embarrassed even, that I'd let a man control me like that, and to the point that I'd had to run to be free. To my horror, I felt tears fill my eyes, because the reality of what I’d left suddenly hit me. I'd left a cold, manipulative abuser who'd provided me with a decent, if not lonely, sterile life, for an outlaw biker who didn't want me for anything other than my body.
Jace had offered me nothing. Less than Seth had.
Suddenly I wondered if I'd ever meet a man who could give me the life I wanted.
A big fat tear fell onto my cheek, and I brushed it away angrily. "No, Jace, that's not why I left Seth. Seth controlled every aspect of my life until I couldn't breathe. He provided me with everything, and didn't let me forget it for a second, even though he wouldn't let me work. We started out as a normal couple, but by the end, I was just a possession to him, someone for him to dress up pretty like a Barbie doll when we went out, someone to entertain his prestigious friends, keep his home spotless. And when it came to sex‒" I stopped, unable to go on.
"Baby‒"
I shook my head, holding my hand up in a silent plea for him to stop. He wouldn't understand. I realized that my face was wet and the tears were running freely. I hated myself for letting my emotions get away from me. It left me feeling vulnerable. I had to think, and I couldn't do it there, and I sure couldn't do it around Jace. I made to jump off the counter, and Jace’s hands were there at my waist, helping me down.
"Luna, what's wrong?" There was sincere concern in his tone, his brow furrowed. "Jesus, you still have feelings for him?"
I vigorously shook my head.
"Talk to me, babe."
That was the second time that he'd called me “babe.” I wondered if he realized it. As he lowered me, I glided down the front of him. Instant awareness of his strength and hardness and the evidence of his arousal caused my breath to catch. I bit down on the corner of my bottom lip. I guessed that Jace sensed that now wasn’t the time to push me, because he stepped away once my feet were on the ground.
"I, ah, need to be alone for a while," I said, barely meeting his eyes.
I was thankful that he let me go.