After a few minutes of surveillance from the big, smooth boulders of the swimming hole, it was decided. First by Kalani, the signal of a convinced mind made as clear as the sound of the zipper on her shorts through the dark. She’d popped the button and unzipped loudly and suggestively for Ethan. What was the harm? They were alone. And even if they weren’t, the sounds they were about to make in the water would be hard to mask. She kicked off her jean shorts, wondering about those sounds. Wondering about the volume and variety she’d produce. Despite everything—how blatant they’d made their intentions through messages, through their midnight stroll—the sounds would begin innocently: the gentle splashing of the cold water around her ankles as Kalani waded in off the rock ledge.

She stopped halfway and the silence returned. She turned around and saw the shape of Ethan. His shape, sitting, watching. He’d been silent since they’d arrived at the quarry. She’d felt his excitement. But now he was silent. Maybe spooked. No one knew what lay at the bottom, and perhaps no one would know—despite Ethan mentioning the possibility of Jackson bringing in a sonar team if things got bad enough.

Jackson and his unlimited resources. Jackson, when things got “bad enough,” was an important friend to have. Kalani still couldn’t consider him that way, with there maybe being too much respect between them. He’d done so much for her and Lea. But Ethan, on the other hand . . . It was respect, sure. But not the same kind. Not by a long shot. And it was an affinity, but not just the friendly kind.

It was exciting just having him watch her, stripping to her underwear on the rocks, then wading out alone, cooling off but still feeling that familiar burning throb inside her.

“So what will it take?” she said, moving backward, slowly, wading deeper till the cold climbed up to her knees. “How can I get you in here?”

“I’m the lifeguard.”

“I know,” she said, still backing away, deeper.

“So you’d have to drown.”

“But that gets boring, doesn’t it? Being the lifeguard all the time? Doesn’t it get boring?”

“Trust me, it’s not boring in the least. I find my current subject immensely intriguing.”

“I’m your subject?”

“My protection subject. My writing subject.”

“What else?”

He might have said something in reply, but the sharp cold of water took it away. The stab of it rising up past her waist, her lungs suddenly convulsing quick little breaths. She’d slipped in deeper than she’d expected.

After a moment, Ethan said, “I like that.”

“Huh?” Kalani was still trying to get used to the water. She stopped right at the foot of what felt like an underwater cliff. The sheer edge of it fell away down the drop of the quarry, disappearing into blackness. Disappearing, perhaps, forever. The water was even colder near the ledge, and for the first time, she felt a little unsteady. And not just from the shock of temperature.

“I like how that sounds,” Ethan said.

“What? The water?” The babbling sound of water moving around her body echoed off the rock walls as she moved through.

“No, the breathing,” he said. “Your rapid breathing like that. It reminds me of something.”

She’d almost forgotten.

Kalani giggled quietly. “Oh.” The water was starting to feel a little better. The change not so drastic. Her breathing not so frantic. Soon, it might even feel good.

“Why did you stop?” Ethan said.

“I don’t know. I think I’m at the edge.”

“Feels like you’ve been there for months, huh?”

Again, she’d forgotten. The black water had a way of covering everything up. Of refreshing in some profound way. It was another relief, aside from the obvious, from the heat of the day. But like remembering she was more than just a soldier, a witness. She was human, with very human desires for Ethan. That had been half—or more—of her reason for going out there to the swimming hole. But she also, very slowly, began to remember the reason for all of it. The real reason, the fear of life, rather than impulse toward it with Ethan. Competing desires, but desires nonetheless.

“I feel so . . .” She trailed off.

“What did you say?” he said a little more audibly across the water.

I feel so alive. She thought these words. But only thought them. She didn’t want to say it like that, so far away from him. She didn’t want to waste the feeling.

Kalani turned away from the ledge. “I said get your ass in here.” She didn’t mean it to say it so loudly, for it to echo the way it did. But it came out like how she’d felt it and meant it. She wanted him in there with her. Right next to her, so they could take the plunge together. Dive into the dark and forget about things. Dive into the dark and maybe discover something good.

The sound of clothing moving over skin echoed across the lake, and then the sound of his big feet slapping rock as he crossed over the dry ledge at the lip of the water. “There you go,” she said. “It’s not so bad in here.”

“The cold, you mean? You’re only up to your waist.”

“I’m over the worst part,” she said. “Now I can stay here and watch you.”

“That was the idea,” Ethan said, wading in slowly with a few wincing breaths. “The idea to stay and keep watch over you. Play it safe, or at least try to salvage some safety from this.” A louder splash as he must have lost his footing over one of the slimy rocks. Another deep breath as he submerged deeper. “Matthias would probably lose his mind if he knew what we were up to.” In the moonlight, she could almost see the strain on his face as more and more of his exposed skin met the unforgiving cold of the quarry’s deep water.

Kalani, on the other hand, was beginning to grow quite comfortable in the water. At least up to her hips. “What Matthias doesn’t know,” she said.

“What he doesn’t know,” Ethan said, “is that you suspect your sister might be involved in whatever happened to Tucker. I’d say that’s a pretty major turn of events. And a pretty good reason to speak up.”

She didn’t want to think about Lea. Not there in the water. She barely wanted to think about her at all with Ethan, but it was becoming an increasingly unavoidable topic. Why did Lea have to be so fucking shady?

“Jesus Christ,” Ethan squealed as he lowered himself waist deep.

“Do I even want to know?”

“No,” Ethan said, wincing. “And I’m not going to tell you.”

She started wading toward him, biting her lip to hide the giggle. “You don’t have to tell me. Maybe I’ll come over there and find out for myself.” Biting her lip, too, to hold back from saying any more. She wanted it to be a surprise, but she suspected that there wasn’t much left, at that point, and at that time of night, and in the water, that Ethan would be surprised about.

“I’m sure we’ll get used to it,” Ethan said.

“What, your shriveled-up manhood?”

“No,” he shot back.

“No way,” she said. “Never.” He was within arm’s reach, his arms stretching out for her. She stopped and took a handful of water, scooping a splash toward him, the water glistening in the moonlight across his chest. He howled at the moon like the beast he was when it made impact.

His splash came back with a little more fury, his hand and arm considerably larger than hers, and thus the cold revenge even more extreme. It felt like she’d been struck by a long, tasseled whip. And now it was her turn to howl, her face having received most of the cold spray. Again she felt winded. Exhilarated. Alive.

Finally, life was happening again.

Cold, and a little scary. But exciting. Life with Ethan.

“Come here,” he said, white teeth gleaming. She was so glad to see him smiling again. She was glad to feel a similar reaction on her face, too. They needed a little more of that to light the way. The rest of the way, no matter how dark it got. Lighting the way.

“Come on,” he said. “Scared? Now you’re scared?”

“Just of you. I don’t care anymore about whatever kind of lake monsters we’ve got living down there.”

“You’ll care,” he said, still pursuing her through the shallow water. She was walking backward again, away from the long range of his splashes. Away from the long arms that could do so much damage. It was counterintuitive but thrilling to be pursued like that.

“I’ll make you care about lake monsters,” he said.

Kalani laughed and reminded him, again, about the water temperature.

“I think he’s getting used to it,” Ethan said, still smiling.

And then Kalani slipped and went under completely, cold, wet, and black, the underwater thrashing sound of water in her ears as she fought back up to the surface. She crested free and took a big breath. The cold had sucked at least two out of her, and she had to fight to catch up. She fought until she had enough to spare a short string of curse words. It was exhilarating, having survived.

“What happened there?” Ethan said, laughing.

“A rock,” she said, still almost hyperventilating. “I slipped off a rock. And be careful over there by the ledge, it’ll drop off real quick.”

“I’m not afraid of it,” Ethan said.

“You should be.”

“Why delay the inevitable?” he said, taking a deep breath and then falling straight down in place under the water. He popped back up, water spraying from his mouth, his voice sounding shaky and a little higher as he delivered his own litany of cursing.

An adjustment period for both of them. It was necessary if they’d both want to be comfortable. It was a rush of new stimuli back in Hawaii, which slowed to a trickle during several months of their coded messaging. Face-to-face again, after the further deepening of feelings, and after hearts had grown even fonder, Kalani could feel the need for at least some type of adjustment. It was a little scary, like wading deeper into the shock of the cold, black water. Exciting at first, sure, and then maybe a little overwhelming . . . and then safe and warm and good again. She felt that growing comfort as he waded in her direction, the rest of his body still shining from his recent full plunge. “Come on, do it,” he said, his voice teasing. “Come over here.”

“Or what?”

“Or I’ll help you.” His smile widened and she was sure he was about to dunk her under the water, a full submersion all the way past her head. Kalani staggered away from him, feigning fear, but still a little curious as to what he’d actually do. He said, “You want some help?”

“You wouldn’t,” Kalani said, slowing down her escape, feeling even more curious. Even more wanting him to catch her and dunk her. Being pursued by Ethan was intoxicating. “You wouldn’t dare do that to me and my hair.” She shook out her already wet hair and cocked her head in a ridiculous, self-aggrandizing pose.

“You think I give a shit about your hair?” he laughed and got within arm’s reach.

She laughed. “Okay, okay. . .”

“It was your idea coming in here, you know. The midnight swim.”

“I know.” She turned her head away to locate the space of black she prepared to dive into. Before anything was decided, and before she could remember what she was supposed to even do, Kalani felt him close and warm. Warm despite his recent plunge, the cool water having taken on his heat. She wanted to see him that close again, but she couldn’t turn her head. His hand wrapped softly around her neck, and then his face nuzzled into her there. She’d gone still and limp and felt him nibbling along her throat. A quiet little giggle wafted over the water, not loud enough for a rock echo. She was so thankful for that.

When he pulled back, she was finally free to bring her head back and straight, and then lean in to his, and taste the kiss she’d been craving since their last mid-forest meeting. Yes, everything had been going well. To plan, almost. Despite all the chaos and suspicions circling around them. As long as it didn’t have to do with them directly . . .

As long as she could reach out and actually touch him. Taste him.

“Okay,” he whispered. “You ready?”

She nodded. Then she saw him nod, too. Their hands were still clasped, fingers entwined as if their lives depended on it, while the two of them slowly lowered down into the water. Kalani squatted lower and lower as the shock of the water took over her body, from waist to bottom rib, not feeling it at first, and then feeling an almost burning sensation. Then dull throbbing. Then nothing as the process continued on higher at other parts of her body. One last deep breath and then lower, so sweet and shocking. So nice to do that with him, smiling Ethan. She could only imagine what her face had looked like to him at that moment, slipping deeper under, and wrestling out a range of ridiculous facial expressions. A range of boyish laughter from Ethan to indicate their finally having accomplished some progress in the adjustment.

One final breath, together, and then under.

She closed her eyes at the sting. She was enveloped in nothingness.

Hands still clasped.

Faith that he was still there with her.

Kalani felt him move first, his spring through the water and back up to the land of the living. She jumped up too from her squat, legs having more kinetic energy stored up than she’d expected. The adrenaline of their meeting propelled her up out of the water like a jumped fish and she landed straight into his arms. They were together again.

They kissed until another row of laughter broke them apart, the feeling of his abs rippling and vibrating with his pressure against her, the feeling of his voice again. “We did it,” he said, laughing, excited and tight-sounding. “Good job, we did it.”

The water was colder than she had remembered. And the whole thing had been surprisingly scarier than she’d thought. If the Kalani back on the hot land would have known, she perhaps wouldn’t have taken the plunge. She supposed she definitely wouldn’t have done anything like that were it not for Ethan. And in the water, deciding to go all the way, he was there to guide her. To help her.

Or at least to threaten that he’d come and do it himself. Grab ahold of her hand and force her under. It was good motivation, despite the brutishness. No, maybe she liked that brute side of him, because she could trust that it was for her own good.

It was good to have that sort of positive motivation in her life. She’d had all different types of men with all different types of suggestions. Ideas for her personal development, some not so good. But with Ethan, it seemed like all of his ideas were thought in a way that would help her—and her alone. Well, perhaps her with him, like as a team. She wanted that, a team.

She felt him let go of her hands, and then a push of water against her body. Some hard, invisible motion, leaving her. Kalani sprung up, wiped the water from her face, and opened her eyes. She cleared the hair from her eyes and opened them again to find herself alone at the surface. Alone in the scary world above. A darker one than the unimaginable depths of the quarry.

At first, she only whispered his name. “Ethan?”

She could only hear the faint trickling of water dripping off her and back against the surface. The quiet click-clack slapping of wavelets against rock at the far end of the swimming hole.

Kalani felt around her, thrashing around blindly, her hands waving through and splashing. And then quiet again. She’d felt nothing, not even another mysterious movement of water.

It was a joke, of course.

It was Ethan finally being a typical guy.

A jerk, sort of.

She didn’t like the feeling but slowly convinced herself that it was fun. It was funny. Ethan just being funny.

Her mind went to the deepest and darkest corners of her reasoning, where all the most irrational and exciting fears lay in wait. It was dark and murky and similar to what might have been waiting for them at the bottom of the quarry. She hadn’t thought about it much—even after Ethan’s concern—until that moment. In his absence, it was all she could think of. Buried mining equipment? Something rusted and bent, sharp and scraggly. A long, looping rope? A rope floating up and ready to tangle anyone diving deep enough? Some hilarious jerk like Ethan?

“Ethan?” she said louder this time, hating how alarmed the echo sounded as it bounced off the tall walls surrounding her. It was mocking her, the concern slapping right back into her face, buzzing her ears.

“Ethan, come on.” She didn’t care about hearing it. The ability to think that in-depth about such peripheral subjects of the situation was rapidly decreasing. By the second, she could feel parts of her mind shutting down and streamlining, the options narrowing down to simple panic. The fight-or-flight sensation setting in. There was no one to fight. And flight? Where would she swim?

Kalani called his name several more times, wandering around in the water. Blind. Thrashing her arms out in semicircles as she moved, just hoping to catch an inch of him. She preferred his earlobe, or his hair, to drag him around by it mercilessly. Or maybe another piece of his anatomy, to punish him for being so bad. With more time that went by, and with each unanswered call, she wanted to inflict worse and worse damage to him.

“Where the fuck are you? Ethan!” Her pace quickened, covering more ground around the shallow end. When she stumbled off the ledge, her adrenaline took over, carrying her swimming hard in another mindless semicircle. Aimless circling searches that all turned out to be fruitless.

Kalani paddled back to the she shallow end, where she could walk again and breathe. She needed to breathe.

She stood up in the water, glad to have some footing. Some air.

She waited for the water to quiet. “It’s funny. Okay, you’re funny. Very funny.”

And then she waited again. Yes, it was funny. It was hilarious. He’d won.

But where the hell was he?

She counted in her head, ten seconds. It must have been a full minute before she started the counting. She was shaking.

“Ethan?”

She lost track of her count.