Chapter 8

 

 

HUDSON WOKE to the most wonderful smell.

The pain that coursed through his body when he rolled onto his side was certainly not wonderful. With a groan, he opened his eyes. Wait. This wasn’t his bedroom. Slowly he sat up. Last night came rushing back to him with exceptional clarity. He’d been jumped by that arsehole Trent and his friends, and someone had stepped in. Hudson remembered the gloved hand, the strange scent, and some kind of smoke, which was odd, but then again, everything happened so quickly. He could have sworn the man had said something to him. Perhaps someone walking by who heard the commotion? Whoever it was, Hudson hoped they were all right. He hated to think someone might have been hurt attempting to help him. He would make a discreet inquiry.

Sitting on the edge of the huge Therian-sized bed, Hudson scanned the room. He was in Seb’s house. In his bed. The room had barely changed since the last time he’d been in it. It looked somewhat different without his belongings littered about. Not that Hudson was messy; he simply had a habit of misplacing things and not realizing they were right in front of him. He had lost count of how many times he went mad looking for his glasses only to find them perched on his head. Speaking of…. He found his glasses on the nightstand and picked them up with a smile. They were his backup pair. Seb must have had them fetched from Hudson’s desk drawer at work. Looking down at his clothes, he ran a hand over the soft cotton of the familiar T-shirt. He’d worn it often around the house. Their house. Had it really been so long ago that Hudson had called this home?

Home.

Last night when he climbed into that cab, he could have gone anywhere. He could have gone to Nina’s or Dex and Sloane’s house. Hell, he could have gone to any of his friends for help, but he didn’t. He came here. To Seb. To the man he knew without any reservation would always be there to catch him, no matter what they were to each other. It wasn’t Hudson’s intent to hurt Seb. In fact, Seb was the last person on earth Hudson wished to hurt. He’d just never expected to be so weak. For so long, he believed staying away from Seb was for the best, but he’d never imagined it would get harder with time.

Hudson stood and winced. His body felt as though he’d been hit by a BearCat. As he left the bedroom, he recalled last night. He’d been so dazed, uncertain of what he needed. Seb had no such doubts. He hadn’t poked or prodded for answers as Hudson had feared he might. In the past, he would have. He’d have demanded to know who hurt Hudson, and they would have likely argued over it. Instead, Seb left him to his thoughts. He cradled Hudson in his arms, held him close, and gave Hudson what he needed—time and space to work through what had happened. Hudson was still working through it, but Seb had been there for him, comforting him, his touch and words tender.

Downstairs, Hudson found Seb in the kitchen with Dom. Dom sat at the counter, drinking coffee as Seb stood at the stove cooking up something delicious. He turned off the heat and moved the pan to one side before turning and stilling when he saw Hudson. At Seb’s reaction, Dom turned around. Dom’s hazel eyes darkened, and his expression turned grim. Was Dom angry with him for being here? Hudson wouldn’t blame him in the slightest. Dom had become very protective of Seb in the years since Seb joined Theta Destructive. The two were close friends, and Hudson was grateful for it, knowing Dom had Seb’s back in all matters, not only on the job.

Dom stood, and Hudson remained where he was, rubbing his arm absently as Dom strode over. He stopped in front of Hudson, and Hudson braced himself. Whatever harsh words Dom had for him, he deserved them for showing up here after what he’d put Seb through, expecting Seb to take care of him after breaking the man’s heart time and time again. Seb confided in Dom, and next to Hudson, Dom was the only one permitted to witness any vulnerability in Seb.

Dom’s lips pressed into a thin line, and he reached up. Hudson couldn’t help his flinch. He hadn’t meant to. It wasn’t as if he didn’t trust Dom. He was a good man and a good friend. Dom frowned.

“It’s just me, Doc,” he murmured.

“I know. I’m sorry,” Hudson replied quietly, holding still when Dom placed his fingers under Hudson’s chin and turned his head first to the right, then the left.

“You okay?”

Hudson swallowed past the lump in his throat. He couldn’t reply, so he simply nodded. Dom wasn’t angry with him; he was concerned. Why? He should be angry. Hudson couldn’t understand it. Dom resumed his seat at the counter, and Seb appeared in front of Hudson, his bright green eyes filled with worry. He stood so close, his big, solid frame offering shelter. He was still dressed in his pajama bottoms and a threadbare T-shirt Hudson yearned to slip his hands under. Being this close to Seb and not touching him was painful, but Hudson basked in Seb’s warmth, in the sense of calm and safety only Seb could provide. It was incredible how the man inspired such a feeling of absolute security.

“I spoke to Nina and told her you weren’t feeling well, and she said not to worry. She’s got everything under control, so you’ve got the day off. You stay here as long as you need to. I left the spare key upstairs on my nightstand, and if you need anything at all, you call me, okay?”

“Thank you,” Hudson replied, his voice hoarse. Seb was still taking care of him.

“You good to eat something?”

Hudson nodded. He joined Dom at the island counter and took a seat in one of the tall chairs. He thanked Seb when a plate filled with two fried eggs, crispy bacon, sausage links, hash browns, Heinz baked beans, and buttered toast was placed in front of him along with a cup of tea. He stared down at his plate before moving his gaze to Seb.

“You remembered the beans.”

Seb winked at him. “Of course. What’s a full English breakfast without the Heinz beans? No mushrooms of course.”

The dish was one of Hudson’s favorite comfort foods, but he was very particular about which beans he had with his full English. He’d shown Seb how to make the dish years ago, and on mornings after a particularly rough workday, Hudson would wake up to his favorite breakfast. Seb would bring it up to the bedroom on a tray with a cup of tea and a small vase with a rose in it. They’d have breakfast in bed together, cuddle, shower, then make love before having to shower again and head out to work. Seb wasn’t one for grand gestures. He showed his love in countless other ways. He was exceptional at small details. When Hudson mentioned something he liked or would like, something he’d seen or something that made him smile, Seb remembered. If it concerned Hudson, Seb remembered every detail. He never tried to impress Hudson with flashy gifts, never presumed to know what Hudson was thinking or wanted, never made decisions for him. He was thoughtful. Always putting Hudson before himself.

Hudson was suddenly overcome with emotion, and he bit down on his bottom lip to keep it from trembling. “I’m sorry,” he said with a sniff. “Bloody arse. Crying over beans.”

Dom got up, his voice low when he spoke. “I’m, uh, just going upstairs to use the bathroom. Excuse me.”

Seb stepped up beside Hudson and swiveled his chair around to face him. He placed his hand to Hudson’s cheek, and Hudson leaned into the touch, a shuddered sigh escaping him as Seb brushed his fingers down Hudson’s jaw, his touch tender.

“When you’re ready to talk about what happened, I’m right here.”

Hudson met Seb’s gaze, his heart in his throat. “What if I’m never ready?”

The muscles in Seb’s jaw flexed, and his eyes darkened on instinct. Hudson waited for an argument, surprised when it never came.

“Then I’ll respect your decision.” Seb brushed his thumb over Hudson’s bottom lip, and Hudson let out an unsteady breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding. “Whatever you need, I’m here.”

“Seb, I—”

Seb put up a hand. “I mean it. I’ll always be here for you.” He motioned toward the counter. “You should eat something before it gets cold. I’m going to take a shower and get ready.”

“Thank you for breakfast and for these.” Hudson tapped the frames of his glasses. “I hope it wasn’t too much trouble.”

Seb smiled that beautiful boyish grin of his. “I had Dom pick them up from work this morning and bring them over.” With a wink, he headed for the stairs just as Dom came down.

Hudson turned back to his breakfast. He was hungrier than expected and finished everything on his plate. Dom was silent beside him, which was very unlike him. As soon as Hudson washed up, he leaned on the counter across from Dom and studied him.

“Something on your mind?”

Dom released a heavy sigh. “It’s killing him, you know. Not knowing who hurt you. You plan on telling him?”

Hudson leaned forward on his elbows, his gaze unwavering. “Three men jumped me last night and beat the hell out of me for being marked and having the audacity to walk away from a proposition. If a stranger hadn’t come to my rescue, I would most likely be in the hospital now. I know one of the men who attacked me, and so does Seb. Now tell me, Dominic. You’re his best friend. What do you think would happen if I told Seb who did this to me and why?”

“Shit.” Dom ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. “Shit. So you’re just gonna let the son of a bitch get away with it?”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do, but what I won’t do is have Seb pay for my mistake.” Hudson didn’t bother telling Dom not to speak a word of this to Seb. Dom was many things, but most importantly, he was a good man. He wouldn’t betray Hudson.

“And if he finds out?” Dom asked. “This is Seb we’re talking about.”

“He gave me his word.”

Dom nodded. He released a heavy sigh. “Okay. You know if you need anything, all you have to do is ask.”

Hudson smiled warmly. “Thank you. I really appreciate that.”

Dom wasn’t happy with Hudson’s decision, but he accepted it. Most likely because he knew Hudson was right. If Hudson told Seb, there would be no stopping Seb. When it came to Hudson’s safety, Seb listened to no one, not even Hudson. It had been the source of many an argument between them. Hudson didn’t need codling. He could take care of himself. Granted, he hadn’t done a very good job of it last night, but he’d made a mistake, one he’d have to live with. Having Seb be there for him instead of rushing off to avenge him was what Hudson needed, wanted. What he’d always needed.

Seb came downstairs, looking handsome as always, his hair wet and roguishly tousled. The man was breathtaking, and all he had on was a faded green T-shirt, the fabric pulling over his biceps and chest as he moved, while his jeans hugged his powerful legs and tantalizing arse. He had on his heavy biker boots, and he grabbed the beat-up leather jacket from the hook by the front door and slipped into it with ease and grace. Hudson stood in the kitchen, mesmerized by Seb’s muscular frame as he moved around the house. Seb grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and frowned.

“Shit, I forgot to empty the dryer.”

“I can do it,” Hudson offered as he came around the counter and stepped up beside him.

“It can wait until I get home.” Seb shrugged and smiled. “Don’t worry about it.”

“It’s fine, Sebastian. Honestly. I don’t mind.” Hudson reached up absently and straightened the collar of Seb’s jacket.

“Okay. Thank you.” Seb made to lean in, then caught himself. He cleared his throat and pulled back nonchalantly, motioning toward the door. “I’ll, um, talk to you later. Just maybe leave me a note or send me a text if you go, so I know you’re okay.”

Hudson nodded. He followed Seb to the front door, and Dom opened it for them.

“Have a good day at work,” Hudson told them, standing in the doorway as Seb headed down the steps. He took hold of Dom’s arm before he could get far. Dom turned, his brows furrowed in silent question. “Keep him safe, please.”

Dom’s smile reached his warm hazel eyes. “Always, Doc.”

Hudson had turned to go inside, when he spotted Seb’s wallet on the small table by the door. Bollocks. He snatched it and rushed out the door.

“Seb!”

Seb strode back from around his truck and hurried over. “Everything okay?”

Hudson held out his wallet to him, his smile wide. “You might need this.”

“I think you might be right.” Seb took it with a chuckle and pushed it into the back pocket of his jeans. “Thanks.”

Hudson couldn’t stop from tugging at the ends of Seb’s jacket. “Take care out there.”

“I will,” Seb promised, his voice low and husky. “You should get inside. You’re barefoot.”

A sudden sense of possessiveness washed over Hudson, and he closed his fingers around Seb’s sleeves, holding him there. He wanted Seb to stay. It was ridiculous, and he had no idea where the urge had come from. Hudson couldn’t explain it. His thoughts were jumbled, and his pulse was erratic. His inner wolf stirred awake and whined. It wanted Seb here with him. Hudson flinched at the pull from his Therian half.

“Lobito?”

Hudson quickly released Seb. He stood on his toes and kissed Seb’s cheek before turning and heading back into the house. He was breathless by the time he closed the door. Once it was locked, he slumped against it. The engine of Seb’s truck roared to life, and a heartbeat later it pulled away. Hudson remained where he was until he was certain Seb was gone.

“What the bloody hell was that?” Hudson groused. He pushed away from the door, irritated. Had he actually kissed Sebastian Hobbs on the cheek and then run off? What was he, some chaste preteen at a school social? “I must be losing my bloody mind.” He had to get it together before he truly lost it. “Trousers would be a start,” he muttered. It would be best if he found something to wear and went home. Staying here was not a good idea. First, he would get Seb’s clothes out of the dryer like he’d promised.

Past the kitchen, tucked away in a cupboard was the washer and tumble dryer, same as it had been. An empty basket sat on top of the washing machine, and Hudson began to move dry clothes into it. Once all the clothes were out, he carried the full basket upstairs, then placed it on the bed. He could hardly leave it there. It wasn’t as if he were in any particular hurry, and Seb would likely have enough to do when he came home after a long day. Hudson picked up a pair of Seb’s socks and hesitated. Would Seb be bothered by Hudson putting his clothes away? It would mean opening drawers and hanging items up in the closet. Perhaps he shouldn’t. Then again, this was Seb. If he were to get upset at all, it would be due to Hudson troubling himself. As if putting a little laundry away was any trouble.

With that settled, Hudson busied himself removing items from the basket, folding them, and neatly putting them away. Everything was exactly where it had been years ago. Curious, Hudson opened the bottom drawer, and a lump formed in his throat. It still contained the clothes he’d left behind. A pair of jeans, tracksuit bottoms, black trousers, a couple of T-shirts, a shirt, jumper, and zip-up cardigan. The drawer above it had also been Hudson’s, and he was surprised to find it lay empty. Hudson closed the empty drawer, then removed the jeans, shirt, and cardigan from the bottom drawer. He changed clothes, borrowed a pair of Seb’s clean socks, and found his shoes by the bed. Once dressed, he folded up the pajamas and returned them to the bottom drawer.

As he put away Seb’s socks and boxers, a sense of intimacy washed over him, and he stilled. What was he doing? He needed to finish up and leave. This was no longer his home, and he would be foolish to give in to the nostalgia. He couldn’t get swept away in the emotions this place stirred up. There would be no curling up on the couch with a fuzzy blanket and hot cup of tea to watch telly until dinnertime. No welcoming Seb home with a kiss, no cuddling or teasing or Seb absently running his fingers through Hudson’s hair as they lay on the couch together. No falling asleep in Seb’s warm embrace.

Two shirts and a pair of slacks needed to be hung, so Hudson went to the closet to find hangers. After opening the right door, he glanced up and stared at the black bag. It was Seb’s camera bag. It struck him then that what he’d believed was the lack of his belongings strewn about the place that made it look different, was actually the lack of photographs. When Hudson had lived here, the house had been filled with framed photos of them, their friends, and family. Seb loved taking photos, loved capturing life’s little moments. He was also very talented, something few expected from the huge tiger Therian Defense agent. Seb had a keen eye for detail, as reflected in the snapshots he captured. Hudson had gifted him a camera when they’d been together. Seb had been hesitant to accept, due to how expensive it was, but Hudson had convinced him.

It saddened Hudson to think Seb had stopped taking photographs. He’d loved it. The camera bag sat on the shelf, and Hudson carefully took it down. He walked over to the bed with it and removed the camera from its case. It looked new, but then Seb had always been exceptionally careful with it. All the lenses were neatly and securely tucked in their cases. It was digital with high definition video capability. Hudson turned on the camera, and a gasp caught in his throat at the timestamp of the video, the very last moment captured by Seb. It was the morning of the shooting. Hudson’s hand shook as his finger hovered over the Playback button. Unable to stop himself, he pressed Play, and his chest tightened at the glorious smile on Seb’s face. Someone else was filming.

“I can’t believe you’re filming this,” Seb said with a bashful laugh. He shook his head, his face somewhat flushed. A thumbs-up appeared in front of the camera, and Hudson smiled. Ethan. He held a hand out to Seb and made a “show me” motion.

“What if he says no?” Seb removed something from his pocket, and Hudson sank down onto the edge of the bed, his heart in his throat and his pulse soaring. It couldn’t be….

Seb inhaled deeply through his nose and released the breath through his mouth. He looked straight at the camera, his green eyes sparkling and his smile forming creases at the corners of his eyes. He held out a black box and opened it.

Hudson covered his mouth to stifle his gasp.

“Lobito, by the time you see this, I really, really hope you’ve said yes. I hope you’ve said yes and made me the happiest guy in the world. I want you to always be at my side. Please be my husband.”

The camera went shaky and was placed on the bed, capturing part of Ethan as he lunged at his brother to squeeze the life out of him. Seb laughed and returned his embrace. The video went on for several more seconds as the brothers hugged. There was some sniffling, and then Ethan smiled big into the camera and waved before turning it off.

Hudson stared down at the black screen and the tear that fell onto it. He wiped at his cheeks and then the screen before placing the camera in its case. Quickly he returned it to its bag and put the whole thing back where he’d found it. Had Seb watched it lately? Was that why the battery was fully charged? He hung up Seb’s clothes, closed the closet door, then grabbed his wallet, phone, and keys. He hurried downstairs, turned off all the lights, and all but ran from the house after locking it behind him.

That’s what Seb had wanted to talk to him about when he’d asked him to dinner. He was going to propose that evening. Hudson stopped, finding it difficult to breathe. He leaned against the iron railing in front of someone’s garden. It took him a moment to realize he was out of breath because he’d been running. How far had he gone? It didn’t matter. He needed to walk, to clear his mind.

For hours he wandered around the city, lost in thought. He went to the park, sat, and people-watched. It soothed him, sitting quietly, watching the city he lived in and loved go about its business. It reminded him of London in some ways. Always bustling, people walking with purpose while others lounged in parks, tourists strolling, the sound of traffic, of life. It felt like a lifetime ago that he’d moved here, but really it had only been roughly ten years or so. The longer he sat, the cooler the day became. He had no idea what time it was, only that he was no closer to sorting his thoughts than he had been when he left Seb’s house. Seb….

Their bond should make them stronger, not weaker. Mrs. Palmer believed marked mates shouldn’t be in law enforcement, much less on the same team. She made a good point. Protecting their mates was a fierce pull, and fighting that pull went against their nature. It was challenging, but not impossible. Hudson gasped, realizing the answer was right in front of him. Mrs. Palmer was wrong. Bonded mates could successfully work together. Hudson witnessed it every time he went out in the field with Destructive Delta. Dex, that cheesy-doodle-crunching nut, proved Mrs. Palmer wrong.

Dex and Sloane’s relationship was far from perfect, and they’d fallen along the way, but they showed that marked mates could not only protect each other, but those around them. When it came to protecting Dex, Sloane was fierce and terrifying, yet he believed in his mate’s capabilities. He trusted Dex to not only remain safe, but to do his duty. They worked together as a team and part of a team. They built each other up, leaned on one another, teaching, learning. Dex and Sloane were the reason the fraternization rule had been amended. They’d proved love wasn’t a weakness, but a strength.

Hudson stood with a smile. Trust Dex to give him hope without even being there.

Hope.

It was a start.

 

 

THE HOUSE was empty.

Seb hadn’t expected Hudson to be home when he arrived, and he chastised himself for feeling disappointed. He walked around, the sense of loss palpable. His laundry had been folded and put away, which was very sweet of Hudson to do. There was no reason for him to stay. Seb had taken care of Hudson because he’d wanted to, not because he expected anything in return, and he certainly didn’t want Hudson staying out of guilt or a sense of duty. It was better this way. No false hopes. Waking up to Hudson in his bed, having the man in his arms, their bodies pressed together, had been a blessing, and he would cherish that memory, but it was time to stop wishing for something that would never be. Seb had meant what he’d said. He would always be there for Hudson, no matter what they were to each other. Hudson’s absence made it clear they were only friends. Seb would learn to live with that.

After a shower, he made some dinner, then sat down to watch TV. He was mindlessly flicking through channels, lost in thought, when a knock startled him. He turned off the TV, went to the door, and was stunned to find Hudson there.

Seb swallowed hard. His instincts screamed at him to pull Hudson into his arms, but he remained motionless, waiting for Hudson to say what he obviously came to say. His face was flushed, his eyes red-rimmed, and his hair a mess, chest rising and falling with rapid breaths as if he’d been running.

“I would very much like to come home, Sebastian.”

Home.

“If you’ll have me.” Hudson’s face crumpled. “Please. I want to come home.”

Seb crossed the threshold and scooped him up, then carried him inside before kicking the door closed behind him. Hudson buried his head against Seb’s neck, his skin cold to the touch. How long had Hudson been outside without a jacket? Seb carried him upstairs into the bedroom and placed him gently on his feet.

“I can’t… anymore,” Hudson said quietly.

“Can’t what, Lobito?”

“That,” Hudson said with a sniff. He placed a hand to Seb’s cheek, his blue eyes pleading. “I can’t—I’m tired of living my life for someone else, for something I can’t change. I’m tired of pretending I’m okay, of waking up without you by my side. I don’t want to be without you anymore. I never, ever want to leave your side again. I know I’ve been a complete arsehole, and I was wrong, so wrong. Please say you’ll keep me?”

Hudson shivered, and Seb covered Hudson’s hands with his own, cursing under his breath. “You’re freezing. Why the hell didn’t you take a jacket?”

“Sebastian, please.” Hudson was waiting for his reply.

“Of course I’ll keep you. It’s all I ever wanted. I—”

Hudson kissed him, the taste of him exploding through Seb’s mouth, sending a tremor through him. He wrapped his arms around Hudson and brought Hudson up against him, intent on bringing his lover warmth. His mate wanted to come home. Seb could hardly believe it. After all this time, his sweet Lobito was coming home to him for good. It wasn’t his words that told Seb as much—it was his body, his mouth, the way he clung to Seb. The wall was gone. Before him, Hudson stood, yearning to be taken care of, thrumming with vulnerability, his soul bare to Seb. Hudson shivered, and Seb reluctantly pulled back.

“Wait.”

“We’ve waited long enough,” Hudson breathed.

“I know, but you’re hurt and freezing. We need to warm you up.” Seb placed his fingers to Hudson’s cheek. “Please. For my peace of mind. What’s a few more minutes?” He sensed Hudson’s hesitation and pushed forward. “For once, baby, let me in. Let me take care of you.”

Hudson nodded and allowed Seb to lead him into the bathroom. As Seb turned on the shower and adjusted the temperature, Hudson wrapped his arms around Seb’s waist from behind, his head pressed against Seb’s back, his voice a quiet whisper Seb wouldn’t have heard over the water had he not been a Therian.

“I need you.”

Seb closed his eyes for a moment, his hands covering Hudson’s. This was the first time since he’d known Hudson that his beautiful Lobito had made such a confession. It wasn’t a need brought on by lust or desire, but a declaration of Hudson exposing a part of himself he’d never revealed to anyone.

“I’m here,” Seb replied, turning to kiss Hudson’s cheek. “Lean on me.” He undid the buttons to Hudson’s shirt one by one. With trembling hands, he pushed it off Hudson’s milky-white shoulders, letting it drop to the floor. Hudson toed off his shoes as Seb unfastened the button on Hudson’s jeans. He rained tender kisses around Hudson’s face as he undressed him.

Seb would take care of Hudson, but he wouldn’t assume Hudson wanted him in the shower with him. As if reading his thoughts, Hudson slipped his hands under Seb’s T-shirt.

“You’re always so thoughtful,” Hudson murmured, helping Seb out of his clothes. When they were both naked, Seb helped Hudson into the expansive Therian-sized bathtub. He gently maneuvered Hudson under the hot water, smiling at Hudson’s moan of pleasure as he closed his eyes and let the water run over him. Seb poured a generous amount of shower gel on the soft sponge, his heart skipping a beat when Hudson stepped out from under the showerhead and presented Seb with his back. He looked up at Seb over his shoulder, his beautiful blue eyes dark with lust, yet his smile was timid. Hudson’s cheeks were flushed, and it spread over his skin down to his shoulders. Seb had missed that rosy hue.

He washed Hudson with deliberate care, mindful of the bruises still marring his beautiful body. Seb pushed aside his rising anger and concentrated on Hudson, taking his time to cover every patch of delicious skin, every freckle, and the very prominent scars over his Lobito’s left shoulder blade. Seb traced his fingers reverently over the very distinct claw marks. His claw marks. He shuddered, and Hudson turned, his blue eyes filled with love and anticipation. Seb lathered up Hudson’s chest, moving the sponge over one tempting pink nipple, then the other before tracing a line down Hudson’s flat stomach to the dark patch between his legs and the beautiful cock nested there. He kneeled, loving the feel of Hudson’s hands in his hair, softly stroking as Seb washed Hudson’s legs, up in between and back to his ass. It was a sweet, slow torture, and he was loving every minute of it. He wanted nothing more than to press Hudson up against the tiled wall and fuck him senseless, but they’d waited so long, he wouldn’t rush even if it killed him.

Seb stood, and Hudson took the sponge from him, rinsed it out, and added more shower gel. Seb remained still, his breath unsteady, as Hudson washed him, one hand moving the sponge over his body, the other exploring as he went along, fingers tracing every muscle, causing the heat between them to rise to a temperature Seb was certain surpassed the water coming out of the showerhead. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back as Hudson moved behind him, a hand running down Seb’s spine, making him shiver. The sponge moved over his ass, a hand slipping between his asscheeks, and Seb congratulated himself on not bucking forward.

“You’re going to drive me out of my fucking mind.”

Hudson’s chuckle resonated through Seb, his fingers brushing down Seb’s arm as he placed a tender kiss between Seb’s shoulder blades. Seb hummed with pleasure. Unable to take it anymore, he grabbed Hudson, moved him under the shower, and rinsed him off before he rinsed himself. Seb turned the shower off, got out, and helped Hudson out. They dried each other, and Hudson tossed the towel to one side so he could slide his hands up Seb’s abdomen. He pressed his lips to Seb’s chest over his heart. A sigh escaped Seb, and Hudson continued to trail scorching kisses across Seb’s chest. Seb lifted Hudson’s chin so he could see his mate’s beautiful face.

“I can’t believe you’re here.”

Hudson smiled, and it was radiant. He stood on his toes, cupped Seb’s face, and pulled him down for a butterfly kiss. “Take me to bed, Sebastian.”

Seb pulled Hudson along with him out into the bedroom before turning him and seizing his lips. Hudson parted his lips, and Seb brought their tongues together. The fire that lay dormant in his sweet mate flared to life. He returned Hudson’s feverish onslaught, releasing a groan when Hudson sucked on Seb’s bottom lip before Hudson returned to kissing him as if breath could only be obtained through Seb’s lips.

When they were forced to come up for air again, Seb took the opportunity to bury his face against Hudson’s neck. He inhaled Hudson’s sweet scent. Unable to help himself, he nipped and sucked at the smooth, pale flesh before licking the pink spot he’d created. Hudson’s fair skin flushed easily, and it drove Seb crazy. He couldn’t get enough of the taste of him.

“Oh dear God. Sebastian, please.”

In the rec room, Seb had all but come undone at having Hudson’s bare skin against his, at the feel of those round globes pressing against Seb’s rock-hard cock. It was a miracle he’d lasted as long as he had. Seb wanted to consume him, to become a part of him.

“Maybe… we should… go slow,” Seb stated, breathless.

“Slow later,” Hudson pleaded. “I need you inside me. I’m going to go mad if I don’t feel you filling me up.” Hudson reached down, making Seb jump when he closed his fingers around Seb’s rock-hard shaft. “I need this gorgeous cock inside me right now, Sebastian.”

Releasing a growl, Seb grabbed Hudson by the waist and hoisted him up against him, thrilled by the feel of Hudson wrapping his legs around Seb’s middle, his arms tight around Seb’s neck, and Hudson’s erection digging into Seb’s abdomen. They kissed feverishly, both shaking from sheer need. So many years of wanting, yearning, and now….

Seb fell onto the bed with Hudson, mindful of not crushing him, nestling between Hudson’s thighs. His trailed kisses over Hudson’s face, down his jaw and neck. He caressed Hudson’s skin, brushing fingers down Hudson’s torso and over his hip to his thigh. Unlike Seb, who was all hard muscle, Hudson was soft, his muscles defined but sleek and sinewy. Seb kissed Hudson’s smooth chest, moving his lips over one nipple, suckling on it before flicking the taut, pink nub with the tip of his tongue. Hudson slipped his fingers into Seb’s hair, arching his back and writhing beneath Seb as he moved on to the right nipple.

“My Lobito, so beautiful.”

“Yours, always.” Hudson’s words were a breathless whisper, and Seb relished the way Hudson shivered, as if he were about to shatter into a million dazzling stars, all from Seb’s touch. Seb wanted to devour him, to taste, touch, kiss every glorious inch of him. He licked at Hudson’s naval before moving down to nibble at the inside of Hudson’s thigh, making Hudson jerk with a laugh. Still a sensitive spot. Seb chuckled before leaving more kisses. He took hold of Hudson’s long hard cock and kissed the rosy head before lapping up the precious pearls of precome.

“Sebastian,” Hudson whispered his name like a prayer. “There’s been no one since you.”

Seb froze. “No one?” Hudson hadn’t had sex in almost seven years?

Hudson’s cheeks flushed furiously. “I… took care of things myself. I couldn’t stand the thought of anyone but you inside me.” He met Seb’s gaze. “I never gave up hope.”

Seb swallowed past the lump in his throat. There hadn’t been many guys since Hudson, but he’d had sex. “I’m sorry, I—”

“No.” Hudson put his fingers to Seb’s lips and smiled warmly. “It was my decision. What felt right for me. I never expected you to do the same. No more guilt.”

Seb smiled past the tears in his eyes. “No more guilt, baby.” He took Hudson’s fingers and placed them to his lips for a kiss. “I never bottomed for any of them. Only you.” There was only one man Seb could give up complete control to, and that was Hudson. Seb enjoyed being fucked, but leaving himself open like that was reserved for his mate and no one else. Seb swallowed Hudson down to the root, and Hudson bucked under him, releasing a barrage of polite curses that made Seb chuckle around Hudson’s shaft.

He held Hudson’s hips down as he bobbed his head, sucking, licking, and nipping at the gorgeous cock in his mouth. The scent of his mate was driving him out of his mind. How had he survived this long without having Hudson in his bed, under him, in his arms?

Hudson gasped and moaned, pleas and promises escaping his lips as he threw his head back, one leg over Seb’s shoulder as Seb deep throated him.

“Oh God!” Hudson writhed, his fingers curling around the bedsheets. “Sebastian.” He reached down to fist Seb’s hair and tugged. Seb obliged, releasing Hudson’s cock and moving up his body to kiss him, or rather to have his lips ravished by Hudson. Coming up for air, Hudson looked up at him through lowered lashes, and Seb smiled wickedly. He remembered that look. It accompanied an innocent, demure exterior that quickly gave way to something extraordinary. “Sebastian?”

“Yes?” Seb’s voice was low and husky with anticipation. Hudson ran his hands down Seb’s biceps before he reached down between them to palm Seb’s hard dick, drawing a gasp from him.

“I need you to put this stunning cock inside me. Now. I want it hard and deep. I want you to fuck me until I scream your name.”

Seb cursed under his breath before covering Hudson’s mouth with his. A violent fire roared from deep inside him, rushing through every nerve, every cell. He ground his hips against Hudson’s, lacing their fingers together as he sucked on Hudson’s tongue, then lower lip, their breaths hot and panting as Hudson arched up against Seb as if he were trying to merge them into one. Seb’s skin burned, his blood ready to boil as he grabbed a pillow, his mouth still on Hudson’s, and lifted his hips just enough for Hudson to do the same so Seb could shove the pillow under him.

Hudson’s body trembled as if he might fall apart if Seb didn’t fuck him this very instant. Seb replaced his lips with two of his fingers, moaning at the decadent sight of Hudson wantonly sucking Seb’s fingers into his mouth, his tongue circling them, his penetrating blue eyes on Seb. He’d never seen anything more sinful.

Unable to hold back any longer, Seb pulled his fingers out and placed them to Hudson’s hole, his eyes never leaving Hudson’s face as he circled the rim before gently pushing in. Hudson gasped, and Seb carefully worked Hudson’s tight muscles, groaning at the anticipation of what it would feel like to bury himself to the hilt.

Hudson trembled and moaned beneath him, his face flushed crimson and his luscious kiss-swollen lips parted as his head fell back. Seb had never seen anything so bewitching. Seb pushed his fingers in to the knuckle and changed his angle, smiling when Hudson cried out.

“Sebastian,” Hudson pleaded, his fingers digging into Seb’s biceps.

Seb kissed him hard, tongues wrestling, teeth scraping together as he removed his fingers and threw a hand out to the bed where he knew the lube was. He flicked a nail under the lip of the lid and popped the cap open. He turned the tube in his hand, squeezed, and took hold of his cock with his lubed hand. He stroked himself, spreading the thick lube over his cock before placing the head to Hudson’s entrance.

“Tell me you’re mine,” Seb demanded, his brow beaded with sweat as he restrained from plunging in. Hudson squirmed beneath him, letting out a huff.

“Sebastian, please.”

“Tell me,” Seb growled, enjoying the way Hudson shivered beneath him.

“I’m yours. I’ve always been yours.”

“And you always will be,” Seb said before sucking in a sharp breath as he pushed inside Hudson. It had been so long for Hudson, and Seb refused to hurt him. “Oh fuck, baby, you’re so tight.”

“I didn’t want anyone else inside me. Just you, darling.”

“Just me. Only ever me,” Seb said through his teeth, then released a growl as he breached the ring of muscle, sitting balls-deep inside Hudson. “Fuck.”

“Please do,” Hudson said with a breathless laugh.

Seb grinned wickedly. “You got it.” He pulled out and plunged in deep, making Hudson cry out. God, how he loved that sound. It lit him up from the inside out, and he burned to hear it again and again. Seb snapped his hips, the room filled with the sounds of skin slapping skin, of Hudson’s moans, curses, and pleas for more. Hudson dug his fingers into Seb’s asscheeks as he pushed up with every thrust, meeting Seb’s. So many nights dreaming of this, and now he had Hudson in his arms, begging, writhing, giving himself to Seb completely.

Hudson’s nails scraped down Seb’s back, and Seb relished the sting. He wrapped Hudson in his arms, ravishing his mouth as he pulled Hudson up with him. He turned and sat against the headboard. He murmured into Hudson’s ear. “Show me how much you want my dick.”

Seb reached up with both hands and took hold of the headboard. He might be bigger than Hudson, but Hudson was a Therian. He was stronger than most gave him credit for, evident by the sculpted body he hid behind his posh manner and geek-chic wardrobe. More importantly, his Lobito hid a tempestuous streak that burned molten, and it burned for Seb alone.

Hudson put his hands on Seb’s shoulders, his pupils dilated to the point his blue eyes looked black. He pulled up, and impaled himself down on Seb’s cock.

“Fuck!”

Hudson’s smile was sinful as he drove down onto Seb over and over, his nails scraping down Seb’s chest, leaving a sharp sting and red marks that would take days to subside. Hudson bounced and fucked himself on Seb’s cock before he tweaked Seb’s nipples, then leaned in to suckle on one, then the other. Seb cursed under his breath, holding on to the headboard like it was a lifeline. Hudson alternated between rotating his hips and impaling his body, his skin glistening with sweat, his hair falling over his brow. His lips were swollen and pink from being kissed, his skin flushed, and the sounds he was making as he fucked himself on Seb’s dick and stroked his cock pushed Seb over the edge.

With a roar, Seb threw his arms around Hudson and jerked him back, thrusting his hips up into Hudson’s tight heat, determined to make his little wolf lose the last of his sanity. Seb thrust up into him, slamming his groin against Hudson’s ass, his cock hitting Hudson’s prostate.

“Seb!” Hudson gasped, his fingers tugging on Seb’s hair.

“That’s it, Lobito. Feel me. It’s my dick inside you. It’ll be yours in my mouth later. I love the taste of your cock on my tongue, love the way you fuck my mouth, love taking that sweet dick down my throat.”

“Oh fuck, fucking fuck. Fuck!” Hudson cried out, his orgasm rushing out of him, and in turn his ass squeezed Seb’s cock. Seb’s release rolled through him like a tsunami, and he threw back his head, his eyes closed as a feral roar tore from his lips, his come coating the inside of Hudson’s tight channel. Seb gripped Hudson to him as the tremors worked through his body before his muscles relaxed, and he was grateful for Hudson’s weight on him. He might just float away otherwise.

Hudson snuggled close, his head on Seb’s shoulder as he traced shapes on Seb’s skin. He kissed Seb’s jaw. “So… you were saying something about bottoming?”

Seb laughed. He kissed Hudson before he had to come up for breath.

“Maybe, when I can move again,” Hudson said through a sated sigh. He was quiet for a moment before speaking up, his words almost a whisper. “I’m sorry it took me so long.” He pulled away enough to cup Seb’s face. “I thought I was doing what was best for us, but I was wrong. This is what’s best. What’s always been best for us. I love you so much, Sebastian.”

Realization of what was happening finally sank in, and Seb ran a hand over Hudson’s head, unable to believe the man was here, in his bed. He made to place his fingers to Hudson’s chin and paused.

“Fuck, my hands are shaking,” Seb said with a throaty laugh.

Hudson took his hand and brought it to his lips, then kissed each digit before placing Seb’s hand to his cheek and humming.

“This is where I’m meant to be.”

Seb brushed his lips over Hudson’s. “Where you’ll always be. Please.”

“Always,” Hudson promised, parting his lips for Seb’s gentle kiss.

They moved down on the bed, and Seb reached into the nightstand for a couple of wipes. He dropped the lube in, cleaned them up, and tossed the little sheets onto the floor by the bed. He’d pick them up later.

Snuggling close behind Hudson, he placed a kiss behind Hudson’s ear. “I love you, Lobito.” He buried his face in Hudson’s hair and inhaled his scent. Unable to get enough of his mate, of the feel of him, the smell of him, the taste of him, Seb planted a kiss on Hudson’s shoulder and let his hand roam tenderly over Hudson’s body. Hudson hummed his pleasure, a soft sigh escaping him. Long after Hudson drifted off to sleep, Seb lay awake. He was afraid of closing his eyes. What if he woke up to find this was all a wonderful dream?

As if sensing his fears, Hudson rolled over, cuddling up to Seb, his arm around Seb’s waist. He nuzzled Seb’s neck, lifting his face to place a kiss on Seb’s chin. Hudson’s words were quiet and laced with sleep when he spoke.

“Go to sleep, darling. I’m not going anywhere.”

Seb closed his eyes. He kissed the top of Hudson’s head, a smile on his face, and for the first time in so very long, when he fell asleep, it was with Hudson in his arms and a heart overflowing with joy.

 

 

A BUZZING sound woke Seb up in the middle of the night. With a groan he sat up, then smiled down when he saw Hudson fast asleep, his pitch-black hair a sharp contrast to the white pillowcase, as was the bruising on his beautiful skin. Seb’s jaw clenched, and he turned, searching for the source of the buzz. A cell phone sat on his nightstand, and he couldn’t remember putting it there. He picked it up and found it was Hudson’s. Seb was going to put it down when a preview of a text popped up on the screen. It was from Trent, and it was disgusting.

Seb would never intrude on anyone’s privacy, much less Hudson’s, but the vile words staring back at him were more than he could ignore. He tapped the security code into the phone’s screen, his heart squeezing that Hudson hadn’t changed it. It was still Seb’s birthday.

The phone unlocked, and dozens of texts popped up, each one as hateful and threatening as the one before it. Seb read the texts calling Hudson a tainted piece of filth. A cocktease who tempted men with his ass only to deny them. He threatened to ruin Hudson if he told anyone about their date or what happened after, if he spoke up against him or his friends. Friends? Jesus. The texts went on and on, and the more Seb read, the more furious he became. Going into Hudson’s contacts, he found Trent’s number, along with his address.

Exiting the screen, he placed the phone back on the nightstand. He kissed Hudson’s cheek, the back of his eyes stinging as he ran his fingers through Hudson’s hair. How can someone say such vile things about this wonderful man? Trent had done more than spew hateful words. He’d dared to lay a hand on Hudson, and somehow involved his friends. Nausea hit Seb, and he closed his eyes, breathing slowly in through his nose and out through his mouth. It didn’t take a genius to know what Trent had been insinuating. From Trent’s anger-fueled texts and snippets of events, it was obvious Hudson had managed to escape somehow. Seb had promised he’d respect Hudson’s decision, but Trent had just taken that choice away from them.

Hudson let out a soft sigh, but other than that didn’t stir. His Lobito was exhausted, and not just from the sex. Seb placed a feathery kiss on Hudson’s cheek.

“I’m sorry, baby. I love you.”

Seb carefully got out of bed, his muscles tight, rage simmering under his skin, feeling as though he were on fire. He pulled on a pair of black jeans and a black T-shirt, grabbed his black gloves and boots. Downstairs, he put on his black leather jacket. He grabbed his keys, wallet, and the crowbar sitting in the corner by the hall closet. He’d meant to put it away with the rest of his tools in the basement. Good thing he hadn’t.

 

 

TWENTY MINUTES later, Seb stood at Trent’s front door, his heart pounding in his ears and his grip firm on the crowbar. The entire car ride here, all Seb could think about was what Trent had done, or almost done. It wasn’t bad enough he’d lured Hudson into a date with the intention of fucking him—because why would Hudson turn him down? He was tainted, after all—but he’d also invited friends along for a little gang bang.

The door opened, and Seb’s lip curled in disgust at the man sporting his own bruises. At least Hudson had gotten in a few good hits, by the looks of it.

“Hi.”

“Fuck.” Trent tried to slam the door in Seb’s face, but Seb kicked at it, sending it slamming into the guy. Trent reeled back, nearly falling on his ass. Seb let himself in, closed the door behind him, and made sure he locked it.

“You’re not a very good listener, are you, Trent?”

Trent put up a hand in front of him as he backed away into the living room, Seb following him. “Let’s talk about this.”

“It’s a little late for talking.”

Trent ran to the coffee table, pushing magazines, remote controls, and random objects out of the way. “Fuck, where is it?”

Seb grinned. “Lost your phone? Shame.” He shrugged.

Trent peered at him. “It was you, wasn’t it? What did you do to my friends?”

Seb had no idea what the hell Trent was talking about, and he didn’t care. Trent let out a fierce growl as he stupidly charged Seb, a fist raised to punch him. Seb ducked and slammed his fist into Trent’s stomach, forcing him to double over. Not waiting for Trent to recover, he brought his right fist in for a right hook, catching Trent’s kidney. Trent gasped for air and wheezed, his face turning red and his eyes glassy as he tried to push away from Seb, but Seb was bigger. He was stronger. He was also far more pissed off.

“You’re a disgrace to your badge, you piece of shit.” Seb brought the crowbar down against Trent’s back, sending him down onto the wooden floor. Trent coughed and gasped for air before he managed to push onto his hands and knees.

“He left you,” Trent spat out, blood on his lips. “What the fuck do you care?”

Seb grabbed a fistful of Trent’s hair, forcing his head up. “Don’t mistake his not being with me with his leaving me. He’s my mate. He never left me. Do you have any idea what it’s like to feel your mate in pain? Why don’t I demonstrate?” He dragged Trent up by his hair and kicked him, his boot striking Trent’s chest and sending him flying against the couch. Trent landed with a bounce. He grabbed at his chest, his eyes squeezed shut before he sat up.

“For every bruise you and your friends gave him, I’m going to give you two.” Seb punched Trent across the jaw, hard. Had Trent been Human, his jawbone would have broken. A few more strategically placed punches, and Trent was scrambling, desperate to get away, his training lost on him. Too bad. Seb would have enjoyed the challenge. “How does that feel, Trent? I’m taking a little creative license here. Is my point getting across to you?”

“I didn’t fuck him!”

“But you were going to, and so were your friends! You sick son of a bitch! The only reason you didn’t was because he walked out on you, but you couldn’t let him go, could you? You couldn’t let a tainted dog embarrass you in front of your friends. That’s what you called him in one of your texts, right? A dog?” Seb whacked the crowbar across Trent’s thigh. The man cried out, grabbing his leg and falling onto his side, tears streaming down his face, nose full of snot as he blubbered and pleaded for his life.

“I don’t know what texts you’re fucking talking about. Don’t kill me.”

Seb leaned in, and Trent threw up his hands in front of his face. “I want the names and addresses of the other two.”

“Please.”

“Listen to me, asshole. Trust me when I say the only reason I’m not putting a bullet in you is because he wouldn’t want that. The guy you beat to shit is the only thing keeping your repulsive carcass from being buried six feet under, because he’s the kind of man you could never even hope to dream of being. Now tell me where they are, or I might just reconsider your whole being-alive situation.”

“You wouldn’t… do that.”

“I’ve come this far, Trent. Do I look like I give a shit about what happens to me? He’s all that matters.”

Trent started to shiver. “I didn’t know.”

“You shouldn’t have to. You don’t need to know if he’s got someone to avenge him. All you need to know is that you shouldn’t treat people like shit or try to stick your dick where it’s not wanted. You have five seconds. Five.”

“Please,” Trent cried, snatching hold of Seb’s jacket. Seb pushed him away, placing a boot against Trent’s balls and pressing down.

“Four.” Seb grabbed Trent’s index finger and cracked it back.

Trent howled in pain, his head lolling to one side as he clenched his teeth.

“Sorry, I forgot to mention. I’m going to break one finger for each second of my time you waste.”

“Larry and Craig. The addresses are in my phone. It was on the coffee table!”

Seb twisted his body to look over his shoulder at the messy coffee table. He removed his boot from Trent’s balls and swiped up the phone with a grin. “It’s your lucky day.”

Trent stared at the phone in Seb’s hand. “But…. What the fuck? That wasn’t there.” Trent held on to his broken finger as he doubled over.

“Thanks for this.” Seb copied the addresses into his phone and tossed Trent’s phone at him. Trent jumped out of the way, a blubbering ball of blood, saliva, and body fluids.

Seb left the house and drove to the home of the first guy on his list. When he approached the door, he paused. Shit. The door was slightly ajar. After checking the neighborhood, Seb slipped inside. The house was dark, but he could see just fine. Quickly he searched the place. It was empty. There were no signs of a struggle. Maybe the guy had gone out and forgotten to lock up. Or maybe he wasn’t a total idiot and skipped town.

That explanation seemed less likely after Seb reached the second guy’s house. Same thing. Door slightly ajar, and no one home. Fuck. Maybe they’d gotten scared and taken off? It was probably a good thing they weren’t around, because Seb was still fuming.

By the time he got home, his anger had faded into numbness. After washing the crowbar, he returned it to its spot by the hall closet. Then he hung up his jacket, removed his gloves, washed them, and tossed them in the trash. The house was silent and dark. Seb took a seat on his couch and waited.

He didn’t know how long he sat there, feeling… nothing. No, not nothing. He felt anger and sadness for what happened to his Lobito, for what could have happened. That night he’d felt sick to his stomach, the helplessness overwhelming. It was the worst feeling in the world, knowing Hudson was hurt and Seb could do nothing about it. Well, he’d done something now.

Hudson kneeled in front of him and put his hand on Seb’s cheek. “Darling, what’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry,” Seb whispered. The doorbell rang, and he flinched. At least it would be quick.

Hudson stood, and Seb followed him to the front door. Two THIRDS agents stood on the other side, one looking remorseful, the other angry.

Hudson greeted them politely. “Good evening, Stevens. Rodriguez. Is everything all right?”

Agent Rodriguez cursed under his breath as his partner spoke. “We’re going to need Agent Hobbs to come with us.”

Hudson stared at them before moving his gaze to Seb. “What’s going on?”

“Sebastian Hobbs, you’re under arrest,” Rodriguez said, looking from Seb to Hudson and back. His resolve crumbled. “Man, please tell me you didn’t do this. Tell me you didn’t throw everything away over that asshole.”

Seb swallowed hard. He kissed Hudson’s cheek before meeting Rodriguez’s gaze. “Not for him.”

Hudson shook his head. “What is he being charged with?”

“Assault and battery,” Stevens replied, motioning for Seb to turn around.

Hudson gasped, and Seb forced his gaze away. He couldn’t stand to look Hudson in the eyes, couldn’t face the pain he’d put there. Instead he turned and placed his wrists together so they could be restrained. Hudson stepped in front of him and cupped Seb’s face, his eyes searching Seb’s.

“Tell me you didn’t. Please, darling.”

“I’m sorry. I love you, Lobito. Always.”

The agents read Seb his rights as they led him out of the house to the idling SUV parked in the middle of the street. The lights were off, sparing him the bright blue-and-red flares that would have drawn out his neighbors. Someone was looking out for him, trying to keep things from turning into a circus. Seb was grateful. Hudson didn’t need that kind of attention on him. Hudson closed the door behind him and ran after them.

“Dr. Colbourn—” Stevens began when Hudson took hold of Stevens’s sleeve.

“Please.”

With a sigh, Stevens nodded, and Hudson climbed into the back of the Suburban before the two agents helped Seb in. It wasn’t usual for a Therian suspect to be picked up in anything other than a BearCat with the rest of the team in attendance. It was all incredibly low-key.

“Sparks?” Seb asked, and Stevens nodded from the front seat. He should have known.

Hudson fastened his seat belt, then slipped his hand around Seb’s bicep. He looked out the window, not saying a word as they drove down to HQ. Hudson wouldn’t remain quiet for long. He was likely taking it all in. Seb closed his eyes and let his head hang. He’d had it all and lost it just as quickly. Again.