Chapter Five
RYDER HESITATED. HE stood on the porch of Gerard Wolfe’s house, situated in a cookie-cutter neighborhood that overlooked the ocean. The air was lighter. It smelled of the sea and harbored an ever-present chill the Washington coast was known for.
The front door was painted dark red. A wind chime dangled from the overhang, jingling in a salty breeze. Ryder lifted his fist to knock but hesitated again.
This is my home. He closed his eyes. Why am I scared of it?
The door opened before he could knock.
“Hey, kid.” Gerard’s voice was warm and rough. He had the face of a Wolfe, so much like Jordan’s, so much like Ryder’s. His jaw was strong and his cheeks were dusted with faint freckles. Light, blonde hair was slicked back. He clasped a hand over Ryder’s shoulder. “Were you gonna stand there forever?”
“I might’ve,” Ryder said. His lips twisted into a smile. “Sorry.”
“It’s all right. I’ve been waiting for you to come inside for ten minutes, but your energy is a bit…” He tilted his head to the side, dark, golden eyes narrowed playfully. “Predictable.”
“Is Mom here?”
“Yeah, Jordan too.”
“I think…” Ryder inhaled a deep breath. He looked away from his father and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “I went at this too fast. It’s only been a couple days, but it’s getting worse and worse.”
“C’mon.” Gerard tugged on his shoulder. “We’ll talk inside.”
The Wolfe household was just as he remembered. The wood floor was stained dark cherry, covered in throw rug after throw rug. High ceilings opened the space, highlighting a chandelier crafted out of antlers and portrait paintings framed on the wall. A staircase on the right led to the second floor, but they headed left toward the living room.
Jordan sat in front of a brick fireplace, wearing a ratty T-shirt and tattered blue jeans. River was perched on her shoulder, and Moon, Gerard’s familiar, was coiled over her lap, around her arms and legs. Moon’s tongue flicked out, tasting the air. She lifted her head and looked to Ryder, scales patterned prettily and tail red as ever.
“She’s gigantic,” Ryder said through a laugh. He grinned and his brows relaxed.
“Boas can get up to twelve feet long, she’s only eight. Still got growing to do.” Jordan pouted her lips at Moon. “Ellen’s in the kitchen making coffee.”
Ryder wrinkled his nose.
“Tea for you,” Jordan added quickly. “Coffee for the rest of us.”
“I’ll help her bring the cups in,” Gerard said.
Jordan waited for their father to slip into the kitchen before she pinned her gaze to Ryder and lifted her brows. “You’ve been syphoning. I can feel Liam’s magic on you.”
Ryder glanced over his shoulder. Anxiety hummed in him alongside the magic, Liam’s magic and his Fire and his darkness. His nostrils flared and he tried to steady his breathing. “It was an accident.”
Jordan narrowed her eyes. “Is he okay?”
“Yeah, he’s fine. We’re fine. But—”
“But it scared the shit out of you,” Jordan snapped.
Ryder shuffled over to the fire and sat down beside her. Percy crawled into his lap and meowed at Moon. “I don’t know what to do. One day I’m doing a reading with Liam, the next he’s going down on me on the hood of a car and I’m sucking his soul out of his body. What the fuck, Jordan? What do I do?”
“For one, I hope you sanitized that nasty car—”
“Can you not, right now? Honestly?”
Jordan’s full mouth split into a grin. “Most necromancers start to notice their magic early, but your Lewellyn blood must’ve put things off. This is normal, it’s just happening at an inconvenient time.”
“And at an accelerated rate.” Ellen spoke like flowers bloomed, slowly, gently. She set a teacup on the table in front of Ryder and sat beside him on a patterned, colorful rug. Her skin was milky, and she had hair that turned gold in sunlight, but white under the moon. She ran her fingers along the side of Ryder’s face. “You okay, sweetie?”
“Not sure,” Ryder mumbled, hoping his mother hadn’t heard any more of their conversation. “What does Margo think of this?”
“The Lewellyn matriarch has no say in it,” Gerard interrupted. “You’re a Wolfe.”
“They don’t have a say.” Ellen’s tone was soothing as she shot a stern glance at Gerard. “But they did offer their support. If you decide to do the ceremony, Margo will recognize it.”
“What about my magic?” Ryder glanced between his parents. The flames sparked in the fireplace. He looked at the photos lined up across the mantel above it. He recognized one of him and Jordan from when they were small, wearing matching outfits. “And my circle?”
“Necromancers are solitary for a reason.” Gerard leaned back on the couch and kicked his ankle over his knee. “I don’t know how progressive things have really gotten with Thalia in charge of Port Lewis, but…”
“It’ll take time,” Jordan said. “But we haven’t run into any problems yet.”
“It’s only been a few weeks, Jordie,” Ryder whispered. “Tyler and his parents won’t change, you know that.”
“The Lis are purists.” Ellen flapped her hand dismissively. “The world is changing around them and they’re standing still. What does everyone else think? The Carroway girl, what’s her name, Kelly?”
“Christy,” Jordan piped. She grinned and poked Ryder’s leg with her bare foot. “I didn’t tell you—she sent me flowers yesterday. Flowers. With an I’m-sorry-thank-you note.”
Ryder arched a brow. That was something Christy typically would do, but he didn’t think she’d have the courage to go through with it. She didn’t do well outside her comfort zone. As much as Ryder wished Christy would’ve apologized to Jordan face-to-face, the gesture warmed him.
“Christy, that’s right. And Liam, the cute one,” Ellen said. Her small nose twitched on her round, full face.
“The cute one,” Jordan whispered, prodding Ryder with her foot. He swatted her.
“And the Were!” Ellen exclaimed. “How’s he doing?”
“The what?” Ryder asked. “You mean Donovan? He’s an Earth witch.”
“Donovan Quinn?” Ellen blinked at Ryder, her wide green eyes upturned and clever.
Gerard cleared his throat. He shared a look with Ellen that spoke of secrets. “We should be talking about the ceremony, shouldn’t we?”
“Yes, yes,” Ellen said. She sipped her coffee and smoothed out the wrinkles in her long, colorful dress. “Have you been practicing, Ryder?”
Ryder nodded.
“With anyone?” Gerard asked.
Ryder swallowed hard. “Yeah, with a circle-mate.”
“Bloodletting only?” Ellen’s voice hardened.
He glanced at Jordan and she tilted her head, egging him on with a lift of her brows. Ryder whispered, “No.”
“You syphoned someone?” Gerard scooted to the edge of the couch and set his elbows on his knees, pulling Ryder’s attention. “I thought I felt Water magic, but I couldn’t be sure. How badly?”
“It’s fine, Liam’s fine, it was quick and I ended it before it could get worse.” Ryder felt Jordan scoot closer to him. Moon slithered onto his shoulder. “What will happen to my elemental magic after I die?”
Gerard and Ellen went quiet. Jordan’s hand rested on his knee.
“Right. No one knows,” Ryder mumbled. “That’s great.”
“You’re a powerful Fire witch,” Jordan said matter-of-factly. “I doubt it’ll go anywhere.”
“And what about Percy?” Ryder stroked Percy’s back and she arched into his hand with a contented purr.
“Moon will handle that,” Gerard said. “He’ll be the first life you bring back. You know that. Your sister had to do the same with River.”
Moon flicked her tongue at Percy and he meowed at her. The thought of Moon wrapped around him, squeezing the life out of him, made Ryder’s throat clench and his chest tighten.
“When can we do this?” Ryder asked.
“As soon as tomorrow,” Gerard said. “This is usually where I’d tell you to wait, take your time.” He paused and exhaled a deep breath. “Think it through. But with how quickly things are happening, I think it’s best if we do this now.”
“Now as in tomorrow,” Ryder whispered.
“Now as in before you kill someone.”
The room went quiet again. Ellen held her breath. Ryder felt her eyes on him, tender and patient. Her Fire burned as hot as his, but when it warmed his skin he closed his eyes. Her magic had always been a lullaby.
He knew what he was capable of, but that didn’t make anything easier. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he ignored it. It buzzed again, and he whispered a curse before digging it out.
Liam: Tyler just needs time.
Ryder: I don’t have any time. It’s happening tomorrow.
“Can you give me a ride to Archy’s?” Ryder glanced at Jordan. “I took an Uber here.”
“I would’ve picked you up,” Jordan said. “But yeah, of course.”
“We’ll take care of you, Ryder.” Gerard reached over to curl his thumb under Ryder’s chin. “Jordan’s a great teacher. You’ve got me and the rest of the clan behind you too.”
Ryder nodded. He wanted to believe it—that everything would be all right, that his magic wouldn’t rip him apart, that after the ceremony he’d be as confident in his abilities as Jordan was. But his nervousness made it impossible to be anything other than terrified.
He kissed Ellen on the cheek and hugged Gerard. Jordan did the same.
As they were walking out the door, Ryder heard his mother’s voice, shaken and small. “Gerard, what if something goes wrong…? What if you can’t bring him back?”
“We’ll bring him back,” Gerard assured her, a whisper he thought Ryder and Jordan couldn’t hear. “I’ll make a deal if I have to.”
“We don’t make deals,” Ellen snapped.
Gerard hushed her.
Jordan tugged on Ryder’s arm, pulling him out the door and into the driveway.
We don’t make deals.
He replayed those words again and again as he slid into Jordan’s old truck.
“Put your seatbelt on,” Jordan said.
He put his seatbelt on.
Ellen’s voice kept echoing in his mind. We don’t make deals. We don’t make deals. We don’t make—
“It’s not common,” Jordan said, as if she’d read his thoughts. “But the rumors are true.”
“You…” Ryder’s heart raced fast in his chest. His head spun. Everything tilted. Nothing made sense. “Demonology? You make deals with demons?”
“I prefer to call them deities,” Jordan said and stepped on the gas.
CHRISTY, DONOVAN, AND Liam sat in one of the red-upholstered booths that lined the window at Archy’s Pizza.
Ryder watched them talk through the rain-streaked glass. Christy spoke with her hands, smashing her index finger against the table again and again. Donovan kept shaking his head. Liam chimed in once in a while, the force of his words bitten and harsh.
Jordan stood beside Ryder, leaning against the truck bed. “I’ll make sure it goes okay,” she said.
“By making a deal with a demon?”
“By asking for a favor. What do you think these are, Ry? Scribbles?” She held out her arm, covered in scarred sigils. “Some of them are spells, some are runes, but these…” She pointed to an intricate design on her wrist. “These are demonic. That doesn’t make them more or less; it just makes them different. Like us.”
“If I don’t come back—”
“Don’t,” Jordan snapped. Her voice clashed with other voices.
Ryder exhaled sharply through his nose. “If something goes wrong—”
“I said don’t,” she seethed.
Downtown was crowded by umbrellas and scented with coffee, pumpkin spice, and vanilla. Uncomfortable silence swelled between them. A few people walked by on the sidewalk, chatting pleasantly about a movie they’d just seen, others hurried to their cars or dipped into cafés. Rain misted down on them, dampening his beanie. Ryder could barely think straight. When he wasn’t focused on the ceremony, his mind drifted back to Liam.
“What do I tell them?” Ryder glanced at Jordan, and she looked back at him, her jaw slackened and brows knitted.
“The truth,” Jordan said. She drew him into a tight embrace, arms around his shoulders, cheek against his temple. “Tell them you’ll still be you.”
If I come back.
He nodded. She pressed her lips against his forehead.
They didn’t say goodbye to each other. Ryder didn’t think Jordan would stand for it.
The truck roared to life. He glanced at her as she drove away. She tried to smile, but it was forced. He watched her go, saw the outline of her through the back window. Her hand slammed against the steering wheel. She wiped her eye with the side of her hand, grabbed her cellphone, and lifted it to her ear.
“Hey,” Liam said.
Ryder turned around. Christy and Donovan watched them through the window. Liam stood in front of him, hands shoved in his pockets.
“We got fries. The wedge ones you like.” Liam regarded him, hair pushed back like it always was, face sculpted into an expression that sat between concentration and assurance. His tongue ring clicked against his teeth. His hands squirmed in his pockets. He was still wearing Ryder’s shirt.
Now or never, maybe.
“I don’t know when it happened, but sometime in the last two years I fell in love with you.” Ryder exhaled a quivering breath. “It happened fast, like this.” He gestured to himself, to the darkness, hoping Liam understood. “One day, I was looking at you, wondering if you’d ever look back, and I realized how bad it was, how absolutely fucked I was.”
“Tell me this tomorrow.”
“I’m telling you now.”
Liam shook his head. “I don’t accept that.”
“You have to,” Ryder said through a short laugh. “Because tomorrow—”
“You’ll die.” Liam’s mouth tensed and he rolled his lips together, eyelashes sweeping up and down as he glanced around Ryder’s face. “And you’ll come back.”
“I didn’t know if it would go away. For some reason I thought it might, like I’d been compelled, like you were some bullshit Fae with an unshakable hold on me, and then I realized it wasn’t compulsion or a spell. I was done for. It was you and you were all I was ever gonna be able to look at.” The words rushed from Ryder’s mouth clumsily. He wished he could’ve picked them up and swallowed them back down. “You wanted to know. There. Now you know.”
Rain hit the ground, slow and then fast, light and then in quarter sized drops. Ryder wondered if Liam had been the cause of it, if his magic had reached into the clouds and initiated a downpour.
“Guys…?” Christy held open the door to the pizza parlor and peeked around it. “The pizza’s getting cold and you’re getting soaked.”
“Food’s getting cold,” Ryder mumbled. He brushed past Liam as he walked by and followed Christy to the table.
Donovan paused midbite of a greasy piece of veggie pizza when Ryder sat down. “Hey,” he slurred. “We got the weird barbeque ranch for you.”
“Thanks.” Ryder tried to smile, but the conversation outside with Liam mixed with the conversation he’d had in the truck weighed it down. “Sorry if I scared you last night.”
“You didn’t,” Donovan said. “I’ve seen worse. You okay?”
Liam slid into the booth next to Ryder. His energy was heavy and chaotic, buzzing on Ryder’s skin like a thousand wasps.
“I’m fine.” Ryder grabbed a piece of pizza and the side of barbeque ranch that no one else would touch.
“You gonna tell them or not?” Liam snapped.
Ryder chewed on the inside of his cheek and picked jalapeños off his pizza. Christy’s magic drifted across his thoughts, testing a poke here, a prod there. He stayed still and allowed it. Her energy wrapped around a few things, information he’d kept to himself. She lingered over the conversation with Liam and then moved on, which he appreciated. As soon as he felt her snag the word demonology, he pushed back, burning her.
Christy flinched. “You’re choosing to die?”
“And come back, hopefully,” Ryder said. He swiped a fry through a puddle of ketchup and chomped on it.
“Hopefully,” Liam echoed under his breath.
“And it’s safe?” Donovan asked.
Ryder stifled a laugh. “Nothing’s safe. We’re witches.”
“Demons definitely aren’t safe,” Christy mumbled.
Ryder’s magic cracked like a whip. It undulated around them, dark and fiery and horribly thick. The table went silent. Even Liam held his breath.
“What’d Tyler say?” Ryder asked. His magic retreated.
Liam swept his gaze sideways. “That he thinks our circle would be compromised if we let a necromancer stay connected to us.”
Typical. Ryder took a bite of his pizza. Somewhere underneath the anger, it hurt.
“But he can also go fuck himself, so…” Liam grabbed the discarded jalapeños off Ryder’s plate and put them on his pizza.
“Ty doesn’t really feel that way,” Christy stressed. She sighed and shook her head, nudging Donovan with her elbow. “Right?”
“You’re the psychic,” Donovan said.
“He’s just scared and traditional and he doesn’t like change, but you know him better than the rest of us, so…” Christy looked down at her half-eaten pizza and her lips thinned into a knowing smile. “What has he said to you?”
Donovan shot her a deadly glare.
Ryder caught the distinct, private look on her face. He caught Donovan’s blush too.
“That’s not fucking fair,” Liam snapped. He gestured between Christy and Donovan. “You’re telling me, hey, look at me—” He snapped his fingers in front of Christy until she looked up. “You’re telling me Donovan and Tyler are screwing around?”
“You don’t have to say it like that,” Donovan growled. “Don’t blame me for your—” he gestured between Ryder and Donovan with a wave of his hand “—petty bullshit. No one was stopping you two!”
“Actually,” Ryder sang, “someone was, but whatever. Good to know Tyler can have what he wants, and no one else can.”
“It hasn’t been going on long,” Donovan said softly. “It just… happened.”
“Guys, can we not,” Christy said through a sigh.
Thunder cracked outside. Ryder was almost sure Liam had spurred it on.
“Okay, we’re done with secrets.” Christy waved around the table, gesturing wildly to everyone. “Donovan and Tyler are a thing, you two” —she pointed to Ryder and Liam— “are a thing, and I” —she laid her hand over her chest and offered a wide, sarcastic grin— “am disgustingly single. This is literally the least of my worries right now seeing as Ryder is going to die tomorrow.”
His cheeks were hot and his magic still crackled around them, but Ryder couldn’t help the small smile that pulled his lips upright. You two are a thing. The words played in his head again and again. It felt good to have something out in the open for once.
“What happens if…?” Donovan didn’t need to continue.
Christy looked away as if she’d seen something gruesome.
“If I don’t come back?” Ryder asked.
The table went quiet. Christy played with her long braid and looked at her lap. Liam didn’t move or breathe or say a word. Donovan picked at the pizza crust left on his plate and nodded.
“Then I stay dead,” Ryder said matter-of-factly. “That’s it.”
Donovan’s expression dropped. “And there’s no way to know for sure?”
“No.”
“What about—?”
“Donovan,” Ryder snapped. He swallowed around the jagged lump in his throat. “I’ll be fine, all right?”
Tension looped around them and pulled tight. A flash of lightning lit the window. Wind whipped around them, energy they all knew but hadn’t expected. Ryder didn’t look up. He didn’t move from his place against the wall. His heart raced and his thoughts overlapped. Everything kept colliding too quickly for him to grasp, details flying by in the blink of an eye. He was going to die tomorrow. Liam’s lips were softer than he ever imagined. Jordan had made pacts with demons. Donovan was something. Christy knew about Ryder’s other secret and hadn’t said a word. Liam had been looking back at him for two years.
Nothing was sedentary. Everything was too fast, too soon.
Tyler walked toward them with confident strides, like he always did. Ryder glanced at him without moving. A scarf was wrapped around his neck over a plain sweatshirt. His wet shoes squeaked against the tile.
“You’re going through with the ceremony?” Tyler asked. His palm slammed against the table. “You’re really doing this?”
Liam’s magic flared. Ryder gripped his thigh under the table.
“I have to,” Ryder said. He locked eyes with Tyler and his mouth tightened into a line. “I won’t risk anyone’s life. I do this, I get control over it, and I move on.”
“Or you stay dead.” Tyler sounded like he cared, which was surprising.
“Tyler, c’mon,” Donovan said softly. “Enough.”
“You should’ve told us,” Tyler whispered. “About the reading, about your magic, about everything.”
Ryder’s top lip curled back and he rolled his eyes. “I’m not a white witch,” he teased. “I don’t have to abide by your rules.”
Tyler’s magic whipped toward him. “That’s not my point!”
A few people looked up from the other tables. Christy hushed Tyler and slid down in the booth.
Liam took Ryder’s hand and pulled. “We’re leaving.”
Ryder didn’t argue. “See you tomorrow,” he said to everyone and no one.
Donovan said, “Wait,” while Christy said, “Hold on.”
Tyler grabbed Ryder’s elbow, stopping him in his tracks. When Ryder whipped toward him, his eyes were black as night.
“Will you?” Tyler asked. He chewed on his bottom lip and sighed through his nose. He didn’t waver, not for Ryder’s black eyes or his slithering, upside down magic. “Because we’re still a circle.”
“Now we’re a circle?” Ryder bit. He yanked out of Tyler’s grasp and headed for the exit, gazing at the ground to conceal his eyes from the rest of the people at the pizza parlor.
The nerve. Ryder’s hands shook. Heat spiked through him, burning and unyielding. The absolute fucking nerve. He stepped into the night air and welcomed rain on his face. A chilly breeze kicked through the trees and Port Lewis smelled like home. He inhaled as much of it as he could, because he might not get to again.
“Where’s your car?” Ryder asked.
Liam laced his fingers through Ryder’s and tugged. “This way.”