Chapter 12

 

 

Amelia had been so closed down that Eamon almost started to believe she was someone other than his Oriana. He couldn’t glean a single memory on his way to unlocking her past lives.

Disconcerting, though certainly not unheard of for a Shadowstalker. Considering their feeding habits often drove them insane, the Silver Council tended to watch them more closely, and Seattle was full of the Council. He couldn’t blame her for having protection.

In fact, Eamon’s people were going to have to expand their operations to find the right food for his cult and someone to power the rituals. The rituals he no longer saw a point in. Crom Cruach had been quiet the last hundred years, only murmuring to him occasionally.

Considering many of his fledglings still had access to their magic, but without the proper blood, it faded over time. Typically, those with magic needed to find someone with comparable magic to feed from.

Amelia had magic locked away. That of a sorceress. However, it lay dormant. He’d never seen anything like it. The question was why? Could someone have blocked it?

How far back would that go, and could it be broken?

Drummond knelt before Eamon. “Amelia and her pet have disappeared. I’m not sure how, or why. She is nowhere to be found. Not even the hellhound can track her.”

Eamon’s head cocked. “A portal, perhaps? Brendan certainly doesn’t have the magical capability to transport them. He’s weak. Too weak for Amelia. And Amelia’s magic is there, hidden somewhere, but it’s locked away. Have you ever heard of anything like that?”

Drummond shook his head. “I have not. Doesn’t mean it’s impossible.”

“Would you ask Inuala to see if she knows of anything of the sort?”

“I shall, though she is a Fae sorcerer. Would it work the same?”

“It’s a place to start. Ask her.” Eamon left Drummond there and locked himself in his room.

Would Amelia find comfort in Brendan’s arms? Would she lie awake after they made love and contemplate how much she had loved Eamon through the years?

Eamon’s love had never died. And it seemed every time they found each other it took longer to get back to where they were before everything was torn from him again.

Closing his eyes, he remembered the first time he lost Oriana.

How he killed his mother after she attacked Oriana. A spy from Oriana’s lands had infiltrated the castle and fed his mother lies. He’d found the culprit later, tortured the truth from him, and slaughtered the bastard.

The moment he healed Oriana, she blessed him with Crom Cruach’s strength. He changed, and the price was her life, but Crom promised she would come back to him. She was the key to pull him fully into the world.

Eamon lost his mother, his father, and his wife. And he became king and vampire. He ruled until too many humans surrounded his land, and they started to question the fact he didn’t age, and he disappeared while the sun was out.

A cry escaped Eamon. He killed her in the end. Not his mother. It was him. The thirst took over, both of body and fang. He needed to bury his fangs inside her and drink deep of her blood. She tried to push him off. Her pained cries reached his heart, but he couldn’t stop, the force of his nature too strong in the beginning. He destroyed Oriana, and she apologized.

This time he would do right by her. This time, they would summon Crom Cruach, and he would reward them both. And finally, he could give Oriana the life she deserved.

 

* * * *

 

Lying beside Brent, Amelia wished he hadn’t dozed off. Memories pressed in on her. Things she couldn’t reconcile. She had two voices speaking to her in that first life. Crom Cruach and another similar spirit. Badb, one of the three Irish war goddesses.

Rubbing at her face, she tried to focus on anything else. She needed to find answers about Crom Cruach, why he latched onto her, and how she may be the only one able to get rid of him, for good this time.

She sank back in time, when she was a child, and her mother would brush her hair, whispering about their god, and how he would bring them the world. Crom was the one who would ensure their family was remembered for all time, that he would grant them true immortality without the insanity.

Mother murmured, “One day, I’ll have a child worthy of Crom Cruach. One who can be the vessel for our god. You were never going to be strong enough. I’m glad the ritual failed.”

The first ritual failed. The young man they tried to put Crom Cruach into resisted. Oriana wound up with him in her body, but she managed to build wards around him, keeping him imprisoned. The second ritual was to put the entity into her and let him take over her body. Only she kept control. And her mother believed Oriana had never had Crom Cruach within.

Tears filled her eyes, so she squeezed them shut. Her mother wanted to see their enemies fall as their god swept through the land, destroying everything in his path.

Another voice helped Oriana seal Eamon away. Badb. A war goddess, one who wanted to protect their lands, not wash them with blood.

She had learned not to question her mother about Crom. That’s why Oriana often kept silent. While Father would punish her for not controlling Crom Cruach because her mother hadn’t produced a son. As if that was Oriana’s fault.

Crom spoke up, “Reach for your dagger and slit Mother’s throat.”

Never. I’m not a killer, she whispered back in her head.

“Need their blood as sacrifice, their life as sustenance. Bring me to life. I’ll show you how if you let me have control.”

Oriana thought the words to bind him tighter. It would keep him quiet for a few days.

Those memories didn’t help. Amelia slipped from Brent’s embrace and moved to the window that overlooked a garden with fruit that didn’t belong on Earth as far as she could tell. Nothing looked familiar out there, and she was too afraid to wander.

Leaning her head against the glass, she tried to figure out who told Yseult about her lover.

Eamon was away ridding a nearby town of bandits. Oriana was sitting much the same way at a window in their suite as she rubbed her flat belly, murmuring to her baby.

“Oriana,” someone whispered.

She looked up and found a woman in the mirror. She wore a black cloak, the hood pulled low. Oriana couldn’t tell anything other than the accent was her own. The woman was from her clan. The voice was the same as the woman who summoned Crom Cruach the first two times. But she’d never seen her face.

“Who are you?” Oriana asked.

“A worshiper of Crom Cruach. Same as your clan. And I know your secret. You left because you are the chosen one and Crom seeks stronger prey.”

“I am no chosen. He is not with me.” A lie. He’d always been with her.

“You are. Do not lie. It’s obvious. His shadows float through your aura. I can see it through the mirror.”

“What do you want?”

“For you to unleash our god. For you to bring him fully into our world. Just like your mother wanted.”

Oriana waved her hand over the glass and it darkened.

“If you do not bring Crom into our world, I will find another way,” the stranger hissed.

Tears filled her eyes. That voice. She couldn’t be sure, but was that Inuala’s voice? Was it possible the same woman who nearly destroyed Brent had caused Oriana’s death? Was she plotting against Eamon to bring Crom Cruach into the world?

Brent scooped her into his arms and carried her back to the bed. “Amelia, talk to me. Your distress woke me, your tears tear me apart. Are you crying for him?”

“No. Can you follow me into memory? I think I may know who betrayed me, caused Eamon’s mother to stab me, which put all of this into motion.”

“You sure you want me there?”

“It happened thousands of years ago, Brent. We need to know. And if she never shows her face, then you may be the only one who can tell me if it’s really her.”

“Who do you think it is?”

“Inuala. It sounded like her, but it was in Irish. If it was, I just don’t know, Brent. You would.”

He nodded, closing his eyes. “We need to find the truth. They will keep their blood slaves alive as long as they can, but they won’t do much to ensure their lives.”

“Afraid of what you’ll see?”

“A little,” he admitted. “The same way I’m worried about what you’ll think when you tap into memories of other women I’ve loved and lost.”

She blew out a breath. “Brent, I’m not worried about them. They were a part of your past.”

He kissed her, one hand roaming up her ribs. “I’ll need to drink from you. I want your throat.”

She gasped but nodded.

 

* * * *

 

Brent caressed her throat with his thumb and looked into her eyes. “You won’t scar.” If he was going in that deep, he wanted to know she was with him. Greedy, yeah, maybe. They both had pasts.

“Not worried about that,” she whispered.

“This is going to end with me deep inside you. I’ll take the memories, then I’m making love to you.”

A laugh escaped her. “After waiting forever, I need as much as you’ll give me.”

“I can’t take too much without changing over. You don’t want me a vampire, Amelia.”

She caught his face. “I want you as you are,” she answered.

He grinned. “Good. Some vampires think their blood bound should be the same as them.”

“Yeah, well, none of the vampires I know do. You don’t have to worry about that. I’m not asking you to change. All I ask is that you don’t let whatever is in my past affect what you and I share.”

“Same goes for you. Eventually, you will dip into some of my memories. I fear what you’ll feel after that.”

“Shut up and get this part over with. I’m going to need you to remind me of the present.”

He licked his lips and made a small cut he licked at, then pulled on her vein. She responded immediately, and he pushed images of Eamon on her to get her to redirect.

She slipped deep into his mind, not into her memories, or even his. Amelia pushed so far he felt the resistance build, then snap.

Memories rushed backward through lifetimes. Then he stopped in an old castle in ancient times.

He saw Amelia—no, Oriana, from another balcony and scaled the walls to make his way across the castle to her. “You look troubled,” he murmured.

She jumped at the sound of his voice, backing toward the window.

“Please don’t go,” he pleaded.

“You seem familiar,” she stated, caution in her voice. “Who are you?”

His shoulder lifted. “I followed from your home. Not that I was anyone important.” He knew she was the girl Crom Cruach sought refuge in. He’d planned to kill her, but after watching the young woman for a year, he realized she was strong enough to save them all.

Oriana froze, her eyes softening. “Why would you say that?”

“Doubt anyone knew I left. My family died in raids when Crom Cruach was invoked by another clan. Your horse passed by my home. I felt Crom’s presence and planned see what you were, and if you would use him to destroy your enemies. But you lock him away, keep him hidden, until someone else calls him forth. He always comes back to you, though.”

Staring into the ocean below, she nodded. “Safer that way. I don’t trust anyone else with this burden. Mother would have used him to fight Father’s battles. Most of my clan would do the same. He wants me to do terrible things, but I cannot allow him to influence me, for that would be a death sentence. I’m no fighter.”

“You fight him every day. I’ve watched you. And you seem happy here, until you’re left alone.”

A gasp escaped her lips. “I fight Crom every day. And yet, he believes I’m the chosen one to bring him to light. I want him hidden in the deepest pits of darkness. And my husband, for as much as I love him, he does not understand the forces he invokes when they ride into battle. I feel Crom Cruach sweep out of me and to him, giving his men strength to do heinous things he feels justified in.”

“You do what you can,” he murmured, moving closer. She was so beautiful, a beacon of light in his dark existence, even if she carried the darkness itself.

“Kind words. Who are you?”

“Trenton.” He slid down the wall near the rail and sat where he could watch her but remain out of reach. From the moment he saw her, he craved her company. All thought of ending her life fled once he realized what she was doing, something he’d never believed could be done. Holding onto a spirit to keep them from causing too much trouble.

“Oriana.” She moved closer and sat beside him. “What if I’m doing everything wrong? What if I can’t control Crom?”

“You can only do as well as you can.”

“If I ever lose control, will you bind me, then kill me?”

His smile fell clean from his face. Last thing he ever wanted to do was destroy the woman beside him. Even if she fell to Crom’s darkness. “I’ll help you overcome him, if you ever need assistance.”

Glancing away, she closed her eyes. “May not be enough.”

“You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. No one realizes the power you lock away.”

“You’ve watched me?” she whispered. “If Eamon knew, he would slaughter you.”

“No one notices me since I’ve come to work in the kitchens. I have the ability to go unnoticed as one of the Fae hybrids.”

“Hybrid?”

“Hmm, mixed blood. Not one thing or another, but I have talents that may help you.”

“Do others look down at you for what you are?”

“They have back home. You are the only one who knows here. I hide what I am,” he admitted.

“Then I won’t tell a soul.”

“Can I come to you when you’re alone like this?” he whispered.

She nodded. “Please do. I need a friend.”

“Is your husband not a friend?”

“He’s too busy to concern himself with me, unless I’m in his bed. His father constantly sends him on campaigns to take more land or run other clans out of his lands. He comes home, loves my body, then he’s off again. We share love, but it’s not deep, nor is it true.” She laid her head back against the tower. “I was a fool to fall for him, but I would have helped his father against my parents regardless. I could have done that without wedding Eamon.”

“First love is rarely the love of our lives.”

“Been in love before?” she asked.

“Yes, but it wasn’t meant to last.” Though, until he watched Oriana ride past his home, he hadn’t believed anyone could help him move past the broken heart. He hadn’t missed his first love since, even though he hadn’t been this close to Oriana. Love at first sight. His soul knew her, even with Crom hiding within.

Brent sat back as Amelia’s skin mended.

Tears fell from Amelia’s cinnamon eyes. “You showed me real love, Brent. It was always you.”

“You knew?”

A tense laugh escaped. “I think I always did, somewhere deep inside. Maybe that’s why I was drawn to you from the beginning.”

“Then maybe the ends I’ve seen for us were in other lives, because you were never a vampire in them.”

“Hopefully,” she whispered, caressing his face. “I don’t want anyone but you.”

“I wish I’d waited for you this time, but my past lives have been locked away from me.”

“Could Inuala have done it when she took you to the cavern?” she whispered.

“Possibly. I need to explore the memories.”

“I think I have to kill Eamon,” she whispered.

Brent held her tighter. “He’s not the man Oriana fell for. Not anymore.”

“I may have loved him, but I loved you more.” She ran her fingers across his jaw. “You’re the man I chose, but I couldn’t escape Eamon in the past. You understood that better than me.”

He nodded, hating that part. “And he killed you in the end.”

“They were manipulated. We all were. And I think the one who twisted all of that into play was Inuala. But Badb gave me the spell to push Crom out of the world. Eamon was already changed before he killed me, but it was all I could do.”

“You did plenty. I wish we didn’t have to do this now.” He pulled her closer. “Badb was worshipped as a war goddess. The entity has the ability to possess anyone for a limited time.” Even those typically immune to possession, and when he was young he’d had protection against it. She still took him over while he was in that cavern, escaping. It’s why he pulled on the fire magic from Reance. How he knew what to do after years of being chained to that wall without access to his magic.

He closed his eyes, thinking back to Oriana in his bed one night. They’d made love for hours. She hung onto him. But before she could fall asleep in his arms, she left to protect them both.

The moment he was alone, a cloaked figure appeared in his mirror. The voice was familiar. His sister, the one who betrayed him and tried to let her god take possession of his body.

“You’ve made a grave mistake, Trenton.”

He had believed she died the day of the ritual. Oriana’s mother blamed Inuala for the failure, but Badb had flowed into him, blocking Crom Cruach from taking him over.

“You are not welcome here,” Trenton snarled.

“For my failure, our queen gave me to her guards. They used me anyway they saw fit until I finally escaped.”

“You attempted to give my body to your god You would have made me a prisoner in my own body. You brought your punishment on yourself.”

Only one good thing came of that ritual. Trenton found Oriana. While Badb had taken possession of his body, he watched Crom flow into the young girl hiding from a balcony.

Badb had whispered, “Your fate is tied to hers. She can either destroy your world or save it.”

“Shit, Inuala was my sister back then.” Brent rubbed at his face. “Crom was meant for me. Badb entered my body, and Crom went to you when you were small, watching from a hiding spot. She told me then my fate was tied to yours.”

“Inuala was your sister? Did she know when she held you captive this time?”

He nodded. “I believe so. Would explain why she blocked me so well from her head and why I couldn’t remember my past lives on my own, after helping others reach theirs. That means you’re in even more danger than I ever imagined. You were a victim. You may have helped create the first vampire, but you prevented Crom from taking over the world.”

Amelia blinked and looked out the window. “She came to me, in my mirror several times. When I was pregnant, she told me my son would house Crom Cruach. She planned for the betrayal and Eamon to come to my defense. She set it all in motion, but it didn’t go her way.”

“Because you stopped her. She didn’t succeed.”

She sighed. “I didn’t either. In preventing her from summoning Crom Cruach, I created vampires. How do we kill her and prevent her from being reincarnated?”

“I know there are ways, but I need to do some research.”

“Maybe we should go back tonight.”

He shook his head. “No. Tonight, you’re mine. Tomorrow will be hell enough. You’ll need to pretend with him. You’ll have to let him believe you are his.”

“What if he thinks we’ll be blood bound?”

“Whatever you do, I’ll handle it. I won’t break. This is too important for me to get jealous. But every night, you will be in my bed, with me, if at all possible.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“Even if you have to be in his bed at some point, I’ll manage. I did it for years, centuries ago.”

She shoved him away and shot to her feet. “And if I can’t?”

He closed his eyes. “Amelia, you have to convince him you choose him. I’ll have to let you go to them alone. Inuala can’t learn who I am. You’re the one who will need to end this. I’ll help, but I think I understand what I’ve always seen now.”

“What?” she whispered.

“We’ve found each other many times over the years. I’m hoping all the visions of our end have just been those lives, not the future.”

“Even if not, we can change that. I just need to get through to Eamon.”

“I need you to trust me, Amelia. I don’t see another way. And you loved him at least a few times through the years. You want to stop Crom? You may have to be in Eamon’s bed to make him believe you.”

Amelia shook her head. “That won’t work, Brent. He’ll expect me to bond with him. He’s going to figure it all out when that doesn’t happen.”

“Why didn’t it in the past?” he asked.

“I refused to drink from him. I didn’t want to be what he was, knowing how he came to be. I didn’t want to bind myself to the man who kept me from truly being with the one who held my heart. I can’t pretend like that, Brent. I won’t go to bed with him. Not ever again.”

Brent climbed to his feet and moved to her. “Amelia, without you, we can’t stop what they’ll do to bring Crom across. You have to go to Eamon.”

She threw her hands up. “But I don’t have to fuck him. I can work around that. I’ll find another way. I just need to convince him that Inuala caused all of this.”

“Think he wants to lose his power? What is he without Crom Cruach tainting him?”

She shook her head. “Would he lose anything but a voice in his head? The damage is done. He’s forever changed. Live or die, Eamon is still a vampire. If we can convince him Crom Cruach isn’t what he believes, we can stop Inuala. She’s the one insistent on bringing Crom Cruach into the world.”

“You don’t want to kill Eamon? The man who slaughtered you in your first life?” Brent demanded.

“He wasn’t himself. And I’m not saying we can’t kill him. I’m saying we may not have to in order to get rid of Crom Cruach.”

He couldn’t understand. “You want to save him? After everything? Why give him redemption if you can’t fuck him?”

“Damn it, Brent. I’m not deciding anything. All I’m saying is he may not be the enemy. Inuala set it all in motion. She is definitely the enemy. Eamon could go either way. And his people would turn around and slaughter us if we don’t get him on our side. You want a way to deal with Crom Cruach permanently, I’m giving you a way that might not get us killed.”

He took a slow breath, seeing the truth of her words. “Okay, you’re right. And maybe you won’t have to sleep with him.”

She shoved him away. “I can’t sleep with him. Not in this lifetime. I know more of the pieces. I didn’t know all of them then. Maybe he’ll see the truth.”

“Shit, I’d rather you be in his bed and safe than try to convince him everything he believes in is wrong, and he won’t get the woman he’s been chasing for centuries.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not using my body as a tool. Not like that. Sex means more to me than that.”

“You didn’t love Tyrone,” Brent spat out.

Amelia snatched her clothes up and left the room, pulling the dress over her head.

Shit, he hadn’t meant to do that to her. Following her, he caught her arm. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair.”

She didn’t turn back. “It still meant something with Tyrone. There were feelings, but no, I don’t love Tyrone. Can you really tell me you’ve loved every woman you’ve been with?”

“No. I’m sorry, Amelia. The jealousy has stewed for months. I’m a jealous asshole, and I’m trying not to be because I have what he didn’t, if I haven’t totally fucked it all up.”

She turned to him, tears in her eyes. “Careful with your words, Brent. You don’t get to contradict yourself. Telling me to fuck Eamon, then being pissed I fucked another man while you didn’t have the balls to come tell me what you wanted from me. And yeah, I should have just said what I wanted, but you kept pushing me away, and after the first few months of shutting me down, I needed you to be the one to come to me.”

“Then let me show you how much I need you, Amelia. Only you. Always you. I don’t care about the others before if I can have you now and forever.”

“Then don’t tell me fucking another man is the only way.”

“I won’t.” It might break him to insist she take Eamon to bed, but he didn’t see how she could convince Eamon to believe her without sex. What was he getting if not his bride from all those years ago?