The crackling of a speaker spreads around the room as the same woman from earlier talks over a PA system. “Okay everyone, your first dates are done. Guys, please get up and move to the next chair on your right. Once everyone is seated, your waiters will come by to remove the first course plates and serve the second course.”

Tinley lets out an internal sigh of relief. Her “date” gets up from the table without another word, and she’s very grateful that he’s someone else’s problem for the next fifteen minutes. That’s awful of her to think, but at least he’s out of her hair for the time being. Now on to the next date. If anything, she just hopes it doesn’t get any worse. She doesn’t have high hopes for a spectacular date, but someone who doesn’t spend the next fifteen minutes screaming at her would be nice.

The clattering of dishes alerts her to the fact that the waiter is back at her table. The polite thing to do would be to thank him for clearing everything away, but she obviously can’t see anything and wouldn’t even know which direction she should be facing.

“Here, I brought you a refill. I thought you might need one after that last guy.”

She jumps slightly at the closeness of the voice. She had no idea the waiter was still at her table, but she did, in fact, finish off her last glass before the end of that debacle. “Thank you so much. I appreciate it.”

“No problem. Hope your next one isn’t as bad.” With that, she hears the familiar shuffling as he walks away.

That’s precisely what she’s hoping for as well. At this point, if she makes it through the night unscathed, she’ll consider it a success. How pathetic is that? And even though she didn’t even want to come to this thing, she had a tiny morsel of hope that she would find a decent guy. She doesn’t need a man to define her, but having some companionship of the male variety would be nice for a change.

The chair across from her scrapes on the floor again, and Tinley doesn’t even let this guy sit down before laying into him. “Before we even get started, I need to know if you’re in need of anger management or if you’ve ever been arrested for assault.”

A deep chuckle travels across the table to her and he asks, “Can’t say that I have. Bad breakup or something?”

She contemplates that for half a second. She’s been with a lot of assholes in her life, but none of them have been outright violent or scary. And she’s definitely never dated anyone who had a record.

“Nope. The first guy went psycho on me. I was a little afraid he might flip the table or something.”

There’s a long pause, and she’s almost tempted to ask him if he’s still there…although if he isn’t there, she wouldn’t really be asking him, but an empty chair. An empty chair could be better than her current date; jury’s still out on that one. Ugh. She’s getting a little too introspective tonight; might need to start pacing herself on the wine, at least until more food arrives.

“Seriously? That’s intense.”

“Right? Honestly, I don’t even know why I’m here right now.”

He doesn’t miss a beat as he whips right back at her, “Then why are you here?”

“My sister and roommate signed me up. They kind of forced me to come, so here I am.”

Their conversation is interrupted as the waiter comes by with the second course. After that salad, she’s hoping the yummy food keeps on coming.

“And now I have your second course for the evening. On your plate, you’ll find a trio of stuffed mushrooms. The first one is filled with a seafood combination of oysters and scallops, the second one has an Italian sausage filling, and finally, the third has a variety of cheeses inside.”

Tinley’s mouth starts salivating as her plate is placed in front of her. Cheese is one of her many weaknesses, and the air around her is filling with the smell of the melted goodness. She’s dying to dig right in.

“Nah bro, you can take mine away. I don’t eat anything that comes from the ocean. You can’t trust that stuff.”

Not a seafood fan? This guy just lost points in Tinley’s book for that response. She might be a food lover in general, hence the extra fifty pounds, but seafood is like heaven in food form. If it wasn’t so damn expensive, she’d eat sushi for dinner every night.

“Not a problem sir. Is there anything else I can get for you?”

“Yeah, dude. Can you refill my Bud? That would be most excellent.”

“Of course. And for you, miss?”

“I’m good, thank you,” Tinley replies, and she can just imagine the amusement her waiter is having this evening. Her dates aren’t living up to any kind of potential, but at least she’s providing some entertainment for the staff.

He jumps right back into the conversation like they were never interrupted. “Are they hot?”

“Um, excuse me?” Tinley asks as she coughs into her napkin.

“Are they hot? You know, we could take this party back to your place and have a little fun of the naked variety, if you know what I mean.”

She imagines the dude winking with that last comment. Who even asks something like that? “I’m not an idiot, so of course I know what you mean, but what part of that sounded like a good idea when it came out of your mouth?”

“All of it?”

“How old are you?”

“Twenty-one. Why does that matter?”

“I’m not sure what kind of porn fantasy you’re trying to create here, but not now and not ever will I get naked and do anything sexual with my sister or my roommate.”

“Whoa babe, cool your jets. Can’t blame a guy for trying.”

Tinley is once again saved by the ringing bell. She was about five seconds away from jumping over the table and throttling his neck. Don’t they do any kind of vetting on these people? Where are the normal guys at? Oh, that’s right, all the good ones her age are married and have kids. They’re at home with their families right now while Tinley is polishing off yet another glass of wine in the dark. At this rate, she’ll have to take a taxi home.

She places her glass back down on the table and thinks, Bring on the next one.