Chapter 19
There’s one thing that has been bugging Tinley since the night of their speed-dating date, and she’s finally gotten the courage to ask her question—not so much courage that she’ll ask him face to face, but enough for a text. She types it up quickly and sends it before she talks herself out of it.
Me: So, I never asked…you know why I was there, but why were you?
Marek: Why was I where?
Me: Speed dating. Doesn’t really seem like your kind of thing.
She waits impatiently as the three little dots pop up on the screen and disappear a few times. She’s about ready to send him another text when his message finally comes through.
Marek: I got tired of being alone.
She has absolutely no idea how to respond to that. Here’s this guy who puts on a tough-guy front at work all the time, but that’s just a portion of who he really is. She gets it. He has all this pressure on him to ensure that everyone around him is doing well at their jobs because it’s his job on the line if they don’t. To be honest, that’s exactly why she’s never pushed herself enough at work; she doesn’t want to be management, doesn’t want the stress that comes with it and can’t imagine having that feeling every day. No, she’d rather just go to work, get her job done for the day, and leave. For her, work stays within the walls of the call center, and she can definitely see how that wouldn’t apply to Marek.
Me: So why are you alone? I don’t mean that in the way it comes out, but you’re not exactly struggling in the looks department. It seems like women would be throwing themselves at you.
Marek: It’s more complicated than that.
Ugh. She tosses her phone down onto her bed in frustration. That’s such a non-answer and all it does it annoy her.
Me: Then uncomplicate it for me. Come on, we’re being honest here. Just talk to me.
She waits for the dots to appear, but they never do. The idea that she pushed him too far and he won’t want to talk to her again crosses her mind and she almost sends him another text message to tell him he doesn’t have to tell her anything, but then her phone starts ringing and his name comes up on her screen.
Without hesitation, she answers the call, and his voice comes across the line. “Where do you want me to start?”
“Anywhere you want to. I want to be here for you, but I don’t know how to do that.”
He sighs on the other end, and she can just picture him leaning his head down and running his hand through his hair. He tends to do it a lot when he’s frustrated, and she wonders what’s so difficult about this conversation for him. He’s obviously experiencing some strong feelings.
“Five years ago, my best friend died.”
It’s not the response she was expecting at all, but she stays silent, realizing how hard whatever he is about to say is for him.
“We grew up together. Cassie was the girl next door, and our parents always assumed we would end up together—get married, have kids, the whole nine yards—but I never saw her like that. It honestly never even crossed my mind. I loved her and wanted to protect her, but then ten years ago, she was diagnosed with cancer. To say I didn’t take it well is an understatement. I completely rearranged my life and schedule for her. Every doctor’s appointment, every chemo treatment—no matter what, I was there. She fought hard, harder than I would have had the strength to do myself, and she beat it.”
His voice chokes up on the last sentence and Tinley’s heart drops. There’s more to this story, and Tinley doesn’t know if she’s ready to hear what else he has to say. There can’t be a happy ending, or else he would be living it.
The tears in his voice are strong when he continues his story. “She went into remission, and I finally decided to pull my head out of my ass. After spending all that time together and being her support person, I finally saw her in a new light. We had a little too much wine one night to celebrate the anniversary of her being cancer free, and we finally crossed that line. It was more than I could have ever imagined it being. I couldn’t believe all the time I had wasted and vowed to never waste a single minute with her.”
Tinley quietly sobs, knowing where the story is heading. Marek’s voice is heavier and heavier with each word slipping from his mouth, and he no longer hides the sobs, letting the tears fall freely.
“I made plans to spend the rest of my life with Cassie, but not even one month after finally seeing what everyone else around us saw, her cancer was back. It was stronger than ever, and she didn’t have it in her to fight anymore. I was so angry with her. She was just giving up on life, and I didn’t want to let her go. She finally convinced me it was the right thing for her, and I had to be strong for the both of us. Watching her go through that as her energy levels dropped and she couldn’t get out of bed near the end broke me. I pretty much gave up on life that day.”
That’s when the dam breaks free. Everything Marek was holding in releases and Tinley cries on the phone right along with him. She cries for Cassie losing her life at such a young age, cries for Marek for the major heartbreak he suffered and the fact that he might not ever get over it, and she cries for herself, wondering if she’ll ever be enough for him or if he’ll always be haunted by the ghost of his first love.