Jamie was fast asleep, lips slightly parted as he breathed softly. The corner of his mouth gleamed with saliva in the gray dawn light, and Bennett smiled. Finding drool endearing was definite proof of love.

Bennett's whole body was protesting. He'd be forty in a few months, and that was far too old to be spending the night curled around someone else in a lumpy twin bed. Jamie was wrapped around him, clinging to Bennett like an octopus, and Bennett gently extricated himself. Jamie mumbled something and rolled over, still passed out, as Bennett got out of bed.

He moved slowly as he pulled his clothes on, his muscles stiff and sore, and found the bathroom. He felt about five percent more human after splashing water on his face. He considered hunting for a coffee maker but felt a little weird about rummaging through Jamie's grandmother's cabinets, so he went into the living room instead.

His phone was perilously low on battery. He found a pissy email from Greg Archer about his sudden departure right before the end of the semester, and he sent back an equally passive-aggressive email which subtly implied Greg could go fuck himself. Then he tapped out a message to Peter.

>>BENNETT: I'm in Welch, Georgia. Jamie's grandma had a stroke. Not sure how long we'll be here. Can you check on the house and get the mail?

Peter was a late riser—it would be hours before he responded, so Bennett put his phone away and looked around.

Saying I love you was a dizzying freefall, but Bennett had meant it. But yet again, Bennett found himself wishing he was a different kind of person, a better person, rather than the coward he was, who waited until Jamie was practically in pieces in his arms to tell him how he felt.

But here they were.

Overwhelmed by curiosity, Bennett began to snoop. It had been a long time since he'd spent any time out of Linfield, beyond the occasional trip back to Baltimore to see his family and once on vacation to New York with Peter and Mo. Bennett had forgotten just how rural the United States could be. If Smithtown had seemed small, wherever they were now was absolutely microscopic.

The house was small and well-worn but tidy. On a little bookshelf were some battered paperbacks, a few spiritual and devotional books, and three different editions of the Bible. Unable to resist, Bennett pulled out a tall, slim volume with Smithtown Area High School Yearbook printed on the spine.

It was Jamie's senior high school yearbook, and Bennett stifled a laugh at Jamie's picture, all wide eyes and hopeful smile, not quite grown into his features yet—although Bennett shuddered when he realized the photo was only about four years old. Jamie's hair was even longer than it was now, flopping in his face, and he peered out from the fringe almost shyly, as if not quite trusting what the world had in store.

He flipped through the rest of the pages, through club photos and superlatives, where he learned that Jamie had been valedictorian and on the swim team. He pictured Jamie at seventeen, hunched over a computer somewhere, face scrunched in concentration as he filled out his Bellamy University application, a hundred different futures unfurling before him.

"Oh my god," a voice said, and Bennett jumped, his head snapping up. Jamie was standing in the doorway, sleep-softened, his hair sticking out at crazy angles. "Please tell me you're not looking at my high school year book."

"I absolutely am," Bennett said. Jamie padded across the room, just in his t-shirt and underwear, and dropped down on the couch beside Bennett.

"That's so embarrassing," he moaned, trying to pry it out of Bennett's hands.

"It's adorable," Bennett said. "I'd show you mine someday, but unfortunately, it was etched onto a stone tablet and is currently in a museum."

"Oh, stop it," Jamie said, swatting Bennett's arm. He rested his head on Bennett's shoulder and Bennett draped his arm around Jamie, pulling him close. "Did you sleep okay?"

Bennett snorted.

"Not at all," he said.

"Sorry," Jamie said, and Bennett glanced down to see Jamie's cheeks flushing slightly. "I really did mean to just pick up stuff and go, but…"

"It's all right," Bennett said, kissing the top of his head. "But I am going to need coffee soon."

Jamie stood up then, smiling again.

"Yeah, let me just grab a few things and then we can go." He glanced at the clock on the wall. "Visiting hours start at eight, I think, so we can eat in Smithtown and then head back to the hospital."

"Is there anything in Welch?" Bennett asked, not relishing the drive through the winding roads without caffeine to fortify himself.

Jamie snorted.

"There's a gas station, a hardware store that sells bait and antiques, and about three churches. Welch isn't really known for its restaurant scene."

"Ah, I see. Well, I suppose I can survive a little longer."

Bennett watched Jamie dash around the house, collecting various things his grandmother had requested. He seemed to be doing better this morning—Jamie, like Bennett, functioned best when he had a task, something to focus on.

They made their way back to Smithtown, by the light of day this time, and ended up at a fast food restaurant, which was the only thing open that early in the morning. After burning his tongue on the bitter and blistering hot coffee, Bennett started to feel himself coming back to life.

"Sorry this is all there is," Jamie said, looking down as he tore a little brick of hash brown into bits.

"You don't need to keep apologizing," Bennett said, raising an eyebrow. "I'm not here on vacation, I'm here to help you."

"Yeah, I know," Jamie said, taking a sip of his coffee and making a face. "Oh, man, I got way too spoiled by your fancy coffee. It's just… you know, weird. Having you here. I feel like… I want you to like it, even though… I don't even like it that much."

"That's understandable." Bennett wanted to reach across the table and take Jamie's hand, gently stop him from shredding his breakfast, but decided against it.

"It's kind of funny," Jamie said, looking out the window. "Smithtown used to be like, the big city when I was a little kid. Even when I started going to high school here—I used to get up at four thirty in the morning to catch the bus because it took so long. It was brutal."

He took a bit of his breakfast sandwich, still looking out the window, lost in thought.

"The first time I came back to Welch after starting at Bellamy, I couldn’t quite believe how… small and sad everything seemed. I'd been to Atlanta a few times before, with my parents when I was a little kid, which was totally mind-blowing, and I'm pretty sure we only went to a mall, not even to the actual city. So moving to Linfield was kind of… a total culture shock. And then I came back at Christmas and… I couldn't really believe I'd once thought Smithtown was, like, a fun place to go just because it had a bowling alley."

Jamie looked back at Bennett, as if he'd just remembered Bennett was there.

"Sorry, I'm kind of rambling," he said. "It's just… weird, you know? All of it. Being back here in… this context."

Jamie was chewing on his lip, and he'd graduated from shredding his hash brown to carving shapes with the crescent of his fingernail into the coffee cup.

"You don't need to drop out of school," Bennett said, and the sharp look Jamie threw at him told Bennett he'd interpreted Jamie's nerves correctly.

Jamie's jaw clenched.

"I remember what you said last night," Bennett said, gently but firmly, before Jamie could lose his temper again. "I know you think you're the only one to take care of your grandma, but the thing is, you're not a trained professional. She needs help you're not prepared to give her."

Jamie's mouth opened to protest, and Bennett held up a hand.

"Hear me out, please," Bennett said, and Jamie shut his mouth again, looking vaguely irritated. He raised an eyebrow as if to say, Well?

"I'll support whatever decision you feel like you need to make," Bennett said carefully. "But before you decide anything about Bellamy, let's research all the options and just see what's available. I know you want to take care of your grandma, but you can't do it alone. And I've only met her once, but I'm certain she'd murder you if you tried to drop out of school, and probably me for letting you."

Jamie couldn't help grinning then.

"Yeah, that's… true," he said. His smile faded again. "But… all of this stuff is going to be so expensive, there's no way I can—"

"Jamie," Bennett said. "Don't—don't make any assumptions about what the options are until we've researched it, okay? I understand how stressful this is for you, but—let's take a look at the numbers today and figure things out."

Jamie made a face.

"How am I supposed to panic when you're over here being all rational and supportive like this?"

Bennett shrugged. He glanced at Jamie's food, shredded but mostly uneaten.

"You should eat more," Bennett said.

Jamie groaned but ate a little more before declaring he was full. They threw away their wrappers and drove back to the hospital. The day was bitterly cold again, gray and gloomy.

At Bennett's suggestion, Bennett brought his laptop and found a place to work in the hospital lobby, giving Jamie and his grandmother some privacy. Bennett did actually have work to do, but it was also a shameful excuse to avoid the awkwardness. Bennett was worried, he realized, that Jamie's grandmother, who meant so much to him, wouldn't approve of Bennett.

He also had the beginnings of a plan forming in his mind. Jamie had relayed what the doctor had told him about his grandmother's prognosis and the kind of care she would need. Armed with this knowledge, Bennett dove into researching their options, with the same almost clinical distance he'd used when researching details for a piece he was writing.

And after a few hours of searching and reading, as well as several long phone conversations, Bennett had come up with a solution.

* * *

"This place is unreal," Jamie said. His smile was almost awe-struck as he looked around the assisted living facility. He slipped his hand into Bennett's, and Bennett squeezed it.

"I thought you'd like it," Bennett said.

"How did you even find this place?"

"Exhaustive internet search," Bennett said. "It's one of the best-rated in the state. You're sure she wouldn't mind being this far from Welch?"

Jamie shrugged.

"I think… I think she'd be okay with it," he said, looking around the sitting room they were in. It had been decorated for the holiday with glittering snowflakes hanging from the ceiling, twirling slowly in the warm air that gusted from the vents. The windows looked out on a neatly-maintained lawn, bordered by a wrought-iron fence that butted up against the winter-bare forest. "This place is… really nice."

Jamie was chewing his lip again—it would be bleeding soon if he didn't stop, and Bennett reached over and gently released it from between his teeth.

"I know you're thinking about the cost," he said. "Just—wait until you see the numbers, okay? Don't get ahead of yourself."

"This place is like a country club," Jamie said. "Even with a sliding scale, there's no way—"

Bennett gave him a stern look, and Jamie sighed.

"Fine, fine," he said. The door opened, and a pleasant-looking woman in pink scrubs came in.

"Welcome to Shadybrook," she said with a wide smile. "I'm Melissa."

"Bennett Marlowe," Bennett said, standing and shaking her hand. "I'm the one you talked with on the phone."

"Great," she said. She looked at Jamie. "And that means you must be Jamie?"

"Yeah," Jamie said, shaking her hand as well. "Nice to meet you."

"Bennett told me a little bit about your grandmother's condition," Melissa said, leading them out of the room and down the hall. Bennett hung back a little, letting Melissa and Jamie talk more in depth about the care Jamie's grandmother would need.

As Melissa took them on a tour, Jamie kept glancing back at Bennett with raised eyebrows, reaching out to grab his hand for a moment whenever he got particularly excited about something. Bennett felt a warm flush of pride at having found Shadybroook—it was a beautiful facility, and as soon as he'd seen it online, he'd known this would be the perfect place for Jamie's grandmother to be taken care of, a place where Jamie would know she was in good hands.

By the time they'd finished the tour, Jamie looked happier than he had since he'd gotten that midnight phone call. Happy wasn't quite the right word, though, Bennett realized—Jamie looked lighter, though, relieved, like he'd seen a light at the end of the tunnel.

Melissa took them to the administrative wing of the facility, where they sat down to discuss the numbers with another woman, Janna, whom Bennett had also spoken with earlier that day.

Jamie was gripping the arms of his chair so tightly his knuckles were white, and when she handed him the work up of cost, he started crying again—but this time, it was from relief.

"How… is this possible?" he said, looking down at the papers, wiping tears from his eyes. Janna exchanged glances with Bennett, but Jamie didn't notice. "This is… this is incredible."

He looked up at Bennett, smiling broadly.

Bennett knew what the numbers were without looking at the sheet, knew that it could be covered by Jamie's grandmother's modest savings.

"I told you that you wouldn't need to drop out of school," Bennett said.

"I can't believe you found this place," Jamie said, still blinking back tears. "This is a fucking miracle."

"Let's talk logistics," Janna said with a smile.

The light was dying as they left Shadybrook, and Jamie's mood was so buoyant he was practically skipping. As soon as they were back in the car, Jamie scrambled across the console into Bennett's lap, kissing him fiercely.

"Whoa," Bennett said. "What—"

"You're amazing," Jamie said. "I can't… I can't thank you enough for finding this place. I wouldn't have even known how to look but… god, I just feel like… the universe dropped this into my lap, you know? It feels too good to be true."

"Jamie, darling, you're cutting off circulation to my leg—"

"Sorry," Jamie said, scooting inelegantly back into his seat. He was still looking at Bennett rapturously. "God—you're—you're fucking incredible. I love you so goddamn much."

"I—love you too," Bennett said, still tripping over the words, but Jamie was too busy buckling his seatbelt and fiddling with the radio to notice the slight hesitation.

"God, I can't believe—last night I was—I really thought I'd be moving back to Welch and I just… I felt like I was going to die, thinking about having to live there—and now—this place is just perfect—I don't feel guilty, like I'm abandoning her—"

Jamie chattered away as they started the drive back to Smithtown, where Bennett had also booked them a room in a motel.

Bennett watched Jamie out of the corner of his eye as he drove, smiling and nodding though he was only half listening.

Jamie had said it felt too good to be true, and in a way, it was. The truth was, Shadybrook was one of the best care facilities in the state, and had a price tag to match. The figures Jamie had seen, though he didn’t realize it, were only a small fraction of the total cost, the rest of which Bennett had arranged to cover.

He planned on telling Jamie at some point—keeping something like that secret wouldn't end well—but he wanted to wait until Jamie's grandmother had recovered some to minimize Jamie's stress.

He knew Jamie wouldn't love the arrangement, but it seemed utterly foolish for Jamie to drop out of school to help give his grandmother substandard care when Bennett had the money sitting untouched in investment accounts.

He hoped Jamie would understand.

* * *

"What was it like, growing up gay here?" Bennett asked. They were laying together, still basking in the afterglow, in the motel bed, which had just as many lumps as Jamie's twin but was at least a little bigger. Bennett had known as soon as he'd sat down on it that he wasn't going to get a decent night's sleep until he was back in Linfield.

"Where did that question come from?" Jamie said, wriggling around so he was laying on his stomach, resting his chin on his hand and looking up at Bennett.

Bennett shifted so he was sitting up, the headboard cool against his bare skin.

"I was thinking about it this morning when I was looking at your yearbook," he said. "Was it… difficult? Did you even know?"

Jamie smiled.

"I still can't believe you saw my yearbook," he said. "That picture is so dorky."

"It is," Bennett said, and Jamie swatted his stomach.

"I mean, I kind of… knew I was gay early on. I didn't really have a word for it, and I kind of knew it wasn't… normal, you know? Or like, it was something that, maybe I shouldn't… tell people about," Jamie said thoughtfully. "By the time I was in high school, I definitely knew. I had crushes on guys, and stuff, but… nothing ever came of it, obviously. There was a girl a few years ahead of me who was out and… I just… had enough to deal with anyway, so I kind of… put it on a shelf and tried not think of it."

"I'm sorry," Bennett said, reaching out to stroke Jamie's hair. "That sounds… difficult."

Jamie shrugged.

"It wasn't ideal," he said. "I mean, it would have been nice to have like, a GSA or something, but obviously Smithtown High isn't exactly… liberal. I threw myself into school and stuff and figured once I got out of Welch I would… get my gay on, you know."

"I'm… happy you ended up at Bellamy," Bennett said, and Jamie rolled his eyes, grinning.

"How romantic," Jamie said. He grabbed Bennett's hand and kissed it. "Anyway, so then when I got to Linfield, and Bellamy in particular, it was like… bam, suddenly there were queer people everywhere. And I joined Queer Club, which I've been seriously neglecting this year, which was a great way to sort of… learn stuff, you know? I dated a couple people but there was never anything serious, and finally I slept with a guy just to… get it over with, you know, because I was really tired of being a virgin, even though that shouldn't even be a thing—"

"Wait," Bennett said, frowning. "Really?"

"Yeah," Jamie said, shrugging. "What's that look for?"

"You're just… such a romantic," Bennett said. "I kind of… always assumed you had some high school sweetheart who bedded you in candlelight on a blanket of rose petals."

"Er, no," Jamie said. "It was… in the bathroom of a frat at a party my freshman year, actually. Not exactly romantic, but it got the job done. What about you? What was your first time?"

"With a guy or a girl?" Bennett said.

"Both, I guess," Jamie said. "And like, how did you know? Like, back in the Middle Ages when you were young."

It was Bennett's turn to swat Jamie.

"My first kiss was when I was eight," Bennett said, smiling at the memory, now faint and faded as an old photograph. "Michael O'Donnell, who lived down the street from me. We were playing in his treehouse with Chrissy Shapiro, who was nine and very bossy. Chrissy Shapiro was my second kiss."

Jamie burst out laughing.

"Are you serious?" he said. "You had this like, treehouse group kissing session?"

"That makes it sound a little more lurid than it actually was," Bennett said mildly. "We decided it was gross, probably because we'd all just eaten tuna fish sandwiches, and so we just went on playing after that."

"Oh my god," Jamie said, who was still rolling around on the bed, laughing wildly. "That is the most ridiculous thing in the entire world. I love it so much."

"So anyway," Bennett said. "In high school I dated girls, and had sex the first time with my girlfriend senior year after prom—such a cliché, I know—"

"Let me guess, in the backseat of your car at some overlook point where all the teenagers go to make out?"

Bennett looked at Jamie sternly and Jamie burst into a fresh round of laughter.

"You're a writer," Jamie said. "Couldn't you think of something—"

"Anyway," Bennett said, bulldozing over Jamie's teasing. "Then in college, I had a much more liberal friend group, and it was a general downward slide into depravity and licentiousness with any and all genders from there."

"And now here you are with your young lover tucked away in a seedy motel—"

"Jamie—" Bennett said in a warning tone. He'd mostly gotten over the age difference, but Jamie still seemed to find it much funnier than he did.

"Oh, come on, I'm joking," Jamie said, scrambling into Bennett's lap. "Don't pout."

"I'm not pouting, I just don't like being reminded of my decrepitude."

"You're not decrepit," Jamie said.

"So that's my sordid sexual history—"

"You didn't even give me the details of the depravity you mentioned—"

"It's not fit for young ears—"

"Hey," Jamie said, making a face. Then, his expression changed, growing more serious, and Bennett frowned. "What—what about your wife?"

Bennett froze. It felt very strange to think about his ex-wife when his boyfriend was currently sitting naked and half-hard again on his lap.

"What about her?" Bennett said, trying to keep his voice neutral.

"You… never talk about her," Jamie said, brow furrowed like he was concentrating hard on something. "You guys were married for a while, right?"

Bennett sighed.

"I don't talk about her because… I didn't imagine you'd want to hear about my ex and my divorce. It's not exactly… sexy."

"Well, no," Jamie said. "It's not like I want… intimate details of your sex life with her. I guess, I just mean… what happened?"

Bennett licked his lips, thinking of how best to sum up his relationship with Michelle.

"If you don't want to talk about it you, you don't have to—" Jamie said quickly. "I just feel like… it was… probably a big part of your life, right? So you don't have to… not talk about it for my benefit."

"Thank you," Bennett said. He let out a slow, measured breath. "The truth is… there's not much to say anymore. We had a good partnership for a while, but… after… everything happened—" He caught himself rubbing his scar unconsciously. "—it was… too much for her. I pushed her away. She tried to help, she tried to stay and… I can't fault her for leaving."

Jamie nodded slowly, clearly mulling this over in his mind.

"Do you… want to ask me something about it? About her?" Bennett asked, running his hand up Jamie's arm.

"No, not really," Jamie said. "I just… thought it was weird that you never mentioned her."

"You yourself have pointed out that sometimes I'm not great with talking about my past."

This made Jamie smile.

"True." He leaned forward, kissing Bennett lightly on the lips. "Well, uh, thanks for telling me."

He was quiet for a moment, and Bennett waited patiently.

"I did have one question, though," Jamie said slowly, looking shyly up at Bennett through the fringe of his lashes.

"What's that?" Bennett asked, slightly nervous.

"Wanna order a pizza?" Jamie said brightly. "I'm starving."

Bennett snorted and reached for his phone.

"Fine. Let's see if anywhere is still open."

* * *

It was one of the stranger Christmases Bennett had ever had.

He'd had some odd Christmases over the years—some in the southern hemisphere, when he spent Christmas Day sweating in shorts and a t-shirt in the sweltering summer sun, some with Mo and Peter, who didn't actually celebrate Christmas beyond using it, as Peter explained, as an excuse to make fun cocktails, and once, after his divorce had been finalized, blackout drunk home alone, waking up on Boxing Day naked on his bathroom floor.

This Christmas, though, he spent in the hospital with Jamie and his grandma. In just a few more days, she would be moving to Shadybrook, but she had a few more days in the hospital until she was deemed well enough for the journey.

"Merry Christmas," Jamie said cheerily as they entered the room. Visiting hours technically didn't start for another thirty minutes, but Jamie had of course charmed his way into the hearts of the nurses over the last week and a half, and they bent the rules for him quite a bit.

Jamie's grandmother was still having trouble speaking and had limited mobility, but she was alert and looked happy to see them. Jamie set a stack of presents on the little side table proudly.

"I know, I know," Jamie said. "It's a little overboard. But I've been planning this forever."

Bennett watched fondly as Jamie helped his grandmother unwrap the presents. He'd helped Jamie assemble them—carefully framed prints of photographs Jamie had taken, of Linfield through the seasons.

She cried as she looked through them and Jamie explained the story behind each one.

"I wanted to show you what Linfield was like," Jamie said. "And when I graduate, you can come up and see it all in person, okay?"

They spent the day with her, staying long past when visiting hours were supposed to end—no one seemed to have the heart to kick them out on Christmas. Bennett read out loud to them, at Jamie's request, and though he felt a little silly at first, he slipped into the rhythm of it, getting so lost in the battered mystery novel he was reading from he barely noticed Jamie fall asleep against them.

He put the book down. Both Jamie and his grandmother were fast asleep now, and this floor of the hospital was quiet. Bennett looked up at the garland Jamie had hung up, fake pine boughs with little holly berries glued on. He'd insisted on decorating the room for the holiday.

It was a quiet moment, completely ordinary, the weight of Jamie's head heavy on his shoulder, the machines in the room softly whirring, the scent of disinfectant still heavy in his nose.

Completely ordinary, Bennett realized, but there was nowhere he'd rather be.

* * *

"There's… one thing I want to do before we go," Jamie said.

They were back in Welch, packing up some of Jamie's grandmother's things. She was at Shadybrook and had loved her first week there. Though it was unlikely she'd be able to live on her own again, Jamie had arranged for a neighbor to watch over the house for a few months, at least until Jamie finished his spring semester.

"Whatever you need," Bennett said. Most of what they'd been packing were sentimental items, quilts and framed pictures and knickknacks with funny little histories behind them.

"I want to… visit my mom before we go back."

Bennett opened his mouth and then realized what Jamie meant.

"Oh—of course—" Bennett said. "Do… you want me to drive you somewhere?"

Jamie was still looking down at the cardboard box on the table, refusing to meet Bennett's gaze.

"If—if you want to come with me, you could," Jamie said in a quiet voice. It was a question, a plea, Bennett realized, even if it hadn't been phrased like one.

"Of course, darling," Bennett said softly, drawing Jamie into his arms.

"Okay," Jamie said, nodding against Bennett's chest. He let out a long, shaky breath. "Okay."

Bennett had thought Jamie would direct him to a cemetery, but instead, he led them down a well-worn path into the forest behind the house.

"She was cremated," Jamie said as they walked. It was a mild morning, but the sunshine was weak and pale like skim milk. "She always really liked being outside, when she was feeling good, so… we scattered her ashes in a place she liked."

The trail grew fainter but Jamie seemed to know the way unerringly, and at last they reached a little clearing. There was a little creek nearby, tripping over the rocks, choked with dead leaves. The forest was impossibly still, like the whole world was holding its breath.

Jamie led them to a place where the creek widened, dammed by debris, forming a tiny pond. Algae scummed the surface, and Bennett could see tiny fish like ghosts flitting about in the dark water.

"She has a plaque in the cemetery," Jamie said after a moment. He had his hands in the pockets of his jacket and was hunched over as if he were walking against a strong wind. He looked young and fragile as he glanced up at the skeletal canopy of branches above them. "But… this is where she really is, you know. Body and spirit and all that."

Bennett hung back, not sure if Jamie needed touch or space in that moment.

"She had a really hard life," Jamie said, scuffing at the blanket of decaying leaves underfoot. "I think my dad… made things a lot worse. I was really angry for a long time. About it all. Angry at him, angry at her, even angry at my grandma, as if she could have done something to prevent it. Angry at myself."

Jamie seemed a million miles away, as if a chasm had opened up between them, and at the bottom were the sharp rocks of painful memories, waiting for a body to be dashed upon them.

"I'm sure she loved you very much," Bennett said weakly, and immediately regretted. It was a greeting card sentiment, surface-level and saccharine, and Jamie deserved better.

"I know she did," Jamie said, with a crooked smile. He crouched down by the creek, dipping his fingers into the water. Bennett could imagine the icy, clarifying bite against his own skin.

"She always told me, once she was… feeling better, once we had enough money, that she'd take me to the beach. We had this whole trip planned—we used to look at maps in the public library and pick out beaches that would be cool to visit, and we talked about the snacks we'd pack and the games we'd play in the car on the way there. When I was young, I really thought it was going to happen, and I'd, like, ask her every time I had a vacation from school if we would got that time."

Bennett stepped closer to Jamie, his shoes sinking into the damp soil.

"Did you ever read those books when you were a kid? The one about the ponies on the beach? Misty of Chincoteague?" Jamie said, glancing up at Bennett. "We talked about going there. I think my mom really liked that especially, the idea of this place that just… belonged to the wild horses, instead of the humans."

Jamie was quiet for a long time, then, crouching by the water, lost deep in thought. Bennett simply stood there, close but not quite touching, hoping that just his presence was giving Jamie something, some form of support or love or comfort.

After a while, Jamie stood up and shook his head as if clearing cobwebs in his mind, and turned around.

"Well, thanks," he said briskly. "I guess we should probably get going." His eyes were bright and clear, almost green in the soft winter light, his cheeks ruddy from the cold. Young and beautiful, still so full of hope and love even after everything that had happened to him.

Bennett pulled him close and kissed him fiercely, and when he broke away, Jamie laughed, surprised and breathless.

"Hey, not in front of my mom," he said with a crooked smile, gesturing to the clearing. He took Bennett's hand and began to pull him along the unseen path, back towards the house. "Although, I think she would have liked you."

"Even though I'm her age but dating her son?"

"Actually, I think you're a few years older than her—"

Bennett shuddered as Jamie laughed.

"My grandma thinks you're great, you know," Jamie said. "She talks about you when you leave the room."

It was a one of those rare occasions when Bennett blushed.

"I mean, she'd tolerate you at the very least because I like you, but she also thinks you're really interesting. And she said she can tell how much you care about me." Jamie elbowed Bennett in the side.

"I do care about you," Bennett said. "I'm just not very good at voicing it sometimes."

Jamie let out a long-suffering sigh.

"I'd noticed," he said, but Bennett could see a playful glint in his eyes. "Come on, let's get back."