Jamie woke in Bennett's house, in Bennett's bed, in Bennett's arms.

It was perfect.

He lay very still for a long time after he woke up. The bed was blissfully hot, and Bennett's arms were wrapped tight around him, as if in sleep Bennett couldn’t bear to let him go.

Jamie knew that when Bennett woke up, he'd go all hard and distant and send Jamie home through the snowdrifts now that the sun was up. Jamie knew that then, in class the next day, they'd pretend nothing happened, and Jamie would go on loving Bennett and Bennett would go on pretending he didn't love Jamie back.

Carefully, so carefully, Jamie rolled over so he could see Bennett's face, peaceful in the morning light. The deep crease where Bennett's brow seemed permanently furrowed had softened slightly. He looked serene.

Bennett always seemed so concerned about one thing or another—Jamie liked seeing him like this. Not happy, necessarily, but untroubled at least.

After a while, Bennett began to stir, and Jamie watched his eyes flutter behind the lids. Finally they opened, but instead of immediately going cold, Bennett's expression stayed soft and open.

"Jamie," he said, voice hoarse from sleep.

"Bennett," Jamie said. Bennett smiled—it was small, the corner of his mouth just twitching up, but Jamie knew it was from hearing his name on Jamie's lips.

Just the same way Jamie smiled when Bennett said his name.

"Thank you," Bennett said. "For last night."

"Of course," Jamie said, because he wasn't sure what else to say. What else could he say? No problem bro? Or maybe, I'd do anything to make you happy?

Bennett's face was so close Jamie could see all the little imperfections in his skin, a strand or two of gray in his hair, the brilliant threads of gold in his eyes.

He'd never looked more beautiful.

"Can I kiss you?" Bennett said, and Jamie inhaled sharply, his cock stirring.

"I don’t think I'd enjoy that very much," Jamie said, fighting to keep a straight face. Bennett rolled his eyes, laughing, and then his hand was on Jamie's chin, tilting his face up, and at long last, after months of hoping and wishing and wanting, Bennett was kissing Jamie.

Their first kiss had been rushed and furtive, Jamie half out of his mind with panic, Bennett flighty from shame. Jamie had treasured the memory, of course, had held it dear, turning it over and over in his mind every night as he fell asleep, but this—

This was really their first kiss, Jamie thought.

Bennett rolled onto his back, pulling Jamie on top of him, and Jamie didn't need any more encouragement than that. He flung his leg over Bennett to straddle him, hot sparks zinging through his whole body as he felt Bennett's cock hard against his own, separated by far too many layers of clothing.

Jamie was greedy, desperate, almost frantic, as he kissed Bennett, grinding his hips and clinging to Bennett and thrusting his tongue into Bennett's mouth—he felt as if he were looting, like at any minute the spell would break and Jamie would find himself out on the street, and he needed to take as much as he could carry in the short time he had.

But—

Bennett was responding in kind, and with a growl he sat up, one strong arm wrapped around Jamie like a vise, the other bracing himself, so Jamie was straddling Bennett's lap. Jamie whimpered, rolling his hips against Bennett as Bennett hipped up to meet up. Jamie brought his fingers to tangle in Bennett's hair, feeling drunk on lust, on need.

Bennett broke the kiss, pulling back, and Jamie was left wanting, mouth slightly slack as he panted.

Bennett's hand was tangled in the hem of his shirt, and Jamie let his shirt be pulled up and off. His hands were sliding up Jamie's torso, and Jamie leaned into his touch. Bennett leaned back slightly, his eyes roving over Jamie's upper body.

"You're beautiful," Bennett said, his voice hoarse. "God, I've never seen anyone like you—"

Jamie felt himself blushing slightly at Bennett's praises—but then Bennett kissed him fiercely before breaking away once more.

"Do you not believe me?" Bennett said.

"I—" Jamie stammered. His face was hot now. "I mean I'm okay—"

Bennett rolled his eyes, but his smile was kind and warm.

"Here," Bennett said softly. He patted Jamie's hip and then Bennett was moving them, rolling Jamie so he was laying on his back, looking up at Bennett, his head cushioned in Bennett's cloud-soft pillows. Jamie ran his hand up Bennett's arm, feeling the taut muscle under his warm skin.

Bennett inclined his head to meet Jamie and kissed him again, sweet and gentle this time before moving across Jamie's jaw and to his neck. Jamie moaned and wriggled as Bennett lightly nipped at his neck. The sensation was wonderful and infuriating—he wanted more, more, more—

Bennett was on his hands and knees above Jamie as he kissed Jamie's neck.

"Please—Bennett—" Jamie said, pulling helplessly at Bennett's waist. Bennett laughed, low and throaty, against Jamie's skin and lowered his body. Jamie sighed happily at the feeling of Bennett's weight bearing down on him. He was warm and safe and utterly blissful, and he wrapped his legs around Bennett's hips as their cocks ground together.

Bennett growled, bucking his hips against Jamie, and Jamie let out a tortured little whine. It was a pale imitation of being fucked, and he could barely stand it.

And then Bennett was gone—Jamie's eyes flew open, and he saw Bennett looking down at him, the gold of his irises lost to the dark flare of his pupils. The space between their bodies felt cold, barren.

"What?" Jamie gasped. "Why'd you stop?" Bennett's breathing was ragged, and he looked like he wanted to devour Jamie. The thought made Jamie's cock twitch.

Bennett's mouth opened and closed, like he couldn't quite figure out what to say, and Jamie's stomach flipped anxiously.

"What is it?" Jamie said, frowning.

"No, it's nothing bad—" Bennett said quickly, bringing a hand up to Jamie's face to cup his cheek. "It's… fuck, Jamie… It's very hard to… control myself with you."

"Then don't," Jamie said. He'd meant to say it coyly, flirtatiously, but it just came out as a desperate plea, and he didn't even care. "Please."

Bennett's eyes fluttered shut for a moment at the word.

"God, Jamie—" he said. He was still panting. "We should probably… go slow."

"Why?" Jamie said, pushing himself up on elbow, bringing their faces closer together.

Bennett had no response, and Jamie brought his hand to tangle in Bennett's hair, kissing him deeply, their bodies still achingly far apart.

"I don't want to go slow," Jamie said, the urgent throbbing in his giving him the courage to find words for what he wanted—what he needed. "I want you to take me and fuck me."

Bennett looked like he was about to faint, and he sat back, still wearing an upsetting amount of clothing, in Jamie's opinion.

"Jamie—" he said, more a growl than a word.

"You saying my name like that is only making it worse," Jamie said. He'd wanted Bennett for too long, and he couldn't stand to wait anymore. Without grace or preamble, he yanked the pajama pants and his underwear down and threw them across the room as Bennett inhaled sharply.

Jamie flopped over onto his stomach, pushing himself up onto his hands and knees. He glanced over his shoulder at Bennett.

"Are you going to fuck me or not?"

And then Bennett was on him—Jamie ended up flat on the bed again, face buried in the pillow, Bennett on top of him, nipping at his neck again, his hands sliding down over Jamie's body as he ground his cock against Jamie's ass.

God— Jamie thought. Bennett felt huge, and it had been a while since he'd been fucked, but he felt his body tighten and tremble with anticipation.

Jamie shifted his head to the side.

"I thought maybe you might want to be naked for this part, but whatever—"

Bennett let out an exasperated laugh and flipped Jamie over onto his back. It was thrilling, the way Bennett could manhandle him like that, with such ease and confidence.

Bennett was kneeling, and he stripped off his shirt. Jamie let his eyes rake over Bennett's bare chest, the one he'd been dreaming about since August, fantasizing about as he stroked himself.

It was so much better than anything he'd imagined simply because now it was real. The lines of his body had a compact, powerful grace to them, and Jamie felt coltish and awkward, splayed beneath him, a wriggling and desperate puddle of need.

Jamie leaned forward, tugging at the waistband of Bennett's sweatpants, and Bennett jerked back sharply.

"What?" Jamie said.

"I—uh…" Bennett faltered. "I have a big scar. It can be a little off-putting."

Jamie leaned further forward and yanked impatiently at his clothing again.

"Bennett, please take your clothing off," Jamie said. "I can promise you I won't find any part of you off-putting.

He brought his hand to his cock, stroking it a few times out of sheer desperation for friction, and a hot, wild look seared through Bennett's eyes. He shifted, shucking off his sweatpants, and Jamie saw only a glimpse of the river of gnarled white of the scar before Bennett was reaching across the bed, fishing something out of the drawer on his bedside table.

And then, as quickly as he'd left, Bennett was back, kissing him and covering with Jamie with his body. Jamie was torn between wanting Bennett's cock buried in him as soon as possible and wanting to see and explore every inch of Bennett's finally naked body.

The need to be fucked immediately was far stronger, as it turned out.

"Please, Bennett, don't make me wait—" Jamie babbled, and Bennett shifted down between Jamie's legs, shoving them open and pressing a kiss to the pale skin along Jamie's inner thigh. His cock lay heavy and hard and desperate, dripping precum onto his stomach, and Bennett produced a bottle of lube, and slicked his fingers.

Jamie pushed himself up on his elbows, looking down at Bennett between his legs. Something about Bennett made Jamie feel absolutely wanton and unreserved, and he tilted his hips up to give Bennett easier access.

Bennett hummed with approval, kissing along Jamie's thigh as he brought his hand between Jamie's legs. Jamie moaned and writhed as he felt Bennett's finger tease against his hole without pressing in, the lube shockingly cool for a brief moment.

"Please—don't—come on," Jamie whined, flinging his head back in desperation.

"I should have known you'd be pushy," Bennett said, but Jamie could hear his smile.

"Sorry," he grumbled.

"Don't be sorry," he said, and Jamie gasped as Bennett finally slid inside him on the last word.

Even one finger was a lot to handle, and Jamie's breath caught in his throat at the burning stretch of it.

"God, you're tight," Bennett said, almost reverently. "Is this all right?"

"Y-yeah," Jamie said. "It's just, uh, been a while—go slow—"

"Of course, darling," Bennett said, and the pet name had no right to do the things it did to Jamie's cock and heart. Bennett slowly eased his finger in and paused, giving Jamie time to relax around it, and then he began to move.

Jamie didn't exactly consider himself experienced, per se, but he'd had his share of encounters. And even though they weren't to the main event yet, he could already tell this would be utterly mind-blowing.

This stage of things had always felt rather perfunctory, a bland but necessary step like rolling on a condom, but not now—Jamie collapsed back onto the bed, moaning and writhing and fucking himself against Bennett's hand as Bennett worked him open with two fingers now, finding his prostate with surgical precision and sending red-gold sparks of pleasure shimmering behind Jamie's closed eyes.

"Bennett—Jesus—fuck—Christ—god—" Jamie chanted, his hands scrabbling for the sheets as if this could keep him anchored. "You gotta—you gotta fuck me now—"

He was too close just from this, and it was taking all his effort not to throw himself headlong towards the obliterating center of the sensations.

And then Bennett's fingers were gone, and Jamie buried his face in his hands, moaning at the sheer overwhelming perfection of it all.

"Are you okay?" Bennett asked softly, and Jamie opened his eyes to see Bennett looking at him with concern as he rolled a condom down over his cock. Jamie wanted to gape and admire Bennett's body, but he was so fucked out he could barely see at this point.

"No—I mean, yeah—" Jamie said weakly, shaking his head, barely coherent. "It's just so wow, you know—" He made a vague hand gesture.

Bennett was laughing then, leaning forward and kissing him, and then Jamie felt two strong hands urging his thighs up. Jamie held his legs up, panting with desperation and anticipation and a hundred thousand other emotions.

Bennett's cock was nudging against his entrance and then—then Bennett was pushing inside him, too fast and too slow and just right, and Jamie let out a long, high moan.

Their hips were flush now, Bennett fully inside him, and Jamie hooked his ankles around Bennett's back, pressing him in as deep as possible. Bennett was braced up on his elbows, looking down at Jamie with adorable concern.

Jamie realized he was letting out little panting whimpers and that he probably sounded utterly tortured.

"Fuck, Bennett—" Jamie said, flinging one arm around Bennett's broad back and bringing the other to his face, feeling the sharp prick of stubble there. "Christ, I've been waiting for this for so long."

Bennett leaned down, kissing Jamie on the forehead, and it was so sweet Jamie let out a little moan.

"Me too, darling," he said, and with that he buried his head against Jamie's neck and began to fuck him in slow, even strokes.

Jamie clung to Bennett, his breath ragged, overwhelmed by the sensation of being filled by Bennett, so surely, so expertly. It was better than he'd ever imagined, the sweet slide in and out, maddening and satisfying all at once.

"Jamie, you feel so good," Bennett said roughly. He was moving faster now, and Jamie rolled his hips to meet Bennett at every stroke.

"Fuck me, Bennett," Jamie said, even though he already was, because it was the only thing Jamie could stay in his strung-out, desperate state.

Bennett reached between them, wrapping his hand around Jamie's cock, which was slick with precum by now. His hand was strong and firm and perfect, and after just a few strokes, Jamie could feel the first sunburst orange tide of pleasure building in his core.

"Fuck—oh god—Christ—I'm gonna—I'm close—please—oh god—" he panted, digging his fingers into Bennett's back and urging him on.

"I've got you," Bennett said, and then Jamie was coming into Bennett's hand and onto his own chest, his whole body trembling and pulsing with each wave, Bennett still fucking him steadily in perfect rhythm.

It was all so much—he'd never come like this before, he'd never felt so safe, so loved, so perfectly taken care of.

"God, you're gorgeous," Bennett breathed, his voice almost reverent.

"I want you to come in me, Bennett," Jamie said, the words trembling. His orgasm had flashed through his whole body like wildfire and it was all he could do to keep hanging onto Bennett, afraid if he loosened his grip even a fraction, he'd become unmoored, lost in the swirling current of emotion swelling in his chest.

Bennett moaned, moving faster now, and Jamie watched his face tense, mouth open, and after a moment he felt Bennett's hips stutter against him, felt Bennett's cock pulsing inside him as he clenched around him, heard Bennett gasping Jamie's name like a prayer against his neck. It was the most beautiful thing Jamie had ever heard, echoing through his mind like church bells.

Bennett collapsed down onto him, pressing him into the mattress, and Jamie was completely squished and utterly euphoric. He squeezed his eyes shut, his breath catching in his throat. It was perfect, so perfect, everything he'd ever wanted and so much more—Bennett had given him something he couldn't name, something he didn't know he needed but didn't know how he'd survived this long without.

"Oh, Jamie, Jamie—" Bennett said softly. "What's wrong?" Jamie opened his eyes to find Bennett looking at him, the gold halo in his gray eyes burning, his gaze unfathomably tender. He brought his hand to Jamie's face, tracing his thumb along Jamie's cheek, and Jamie felt wetness—

He was crying, he realized.

"Nothing's wrong," Jamie said, the words sticking in his throat. "Everything is… right."

Bennett smiled faintly, though Jamie was sure his words hadn't been particularly reassuring. Bennett kissed him once on the lips.

"You're perfect, Jamie," he said.

"I—I—So are you," Jamie finished weakly. He realized he'd been about to say I love you, and while he was sure it was true, he knew Bennett would never believe him like that, would wave it away as the product of the hazy post-orgasm bliss.

Bennett shifted away, sliding out of Jamie and getting up to dispose of the condom. He disappeared into the bathroom and returned a moment later with a damp washcloth.

"Here," he said, climbing back onto the bed. Jamie let Bennett clean him off, let Bennett run the warm cloth over his chest and down his stomach, let him carefully clean off his softening cock and his lube-slicked hole. It was more intimate than having Bennett inside him, but instead of feeling exposed or embarrassed, Jamie simply felt… cherished.

Bennett tossed the washcloth aside carelessly and slid down onto the mattress beside Jamie, pulling the blankets back up over them.

Bennett rolled Jamie onto his side, pulling him close and draping an arm around them so they were spooning. Jamie was suddenly pleasantly exhausted, the same kind of sun-drenched sleepiness that followed a day at the river. There was something he'd wanted to say to Bennett, maybe something he'd wanted to ask, but his thoughts were cotton-soft now, drifting and unspooling into dreams.

He fell asleep to the muted thump-thump of Bennett's heartbeat against his back.

* * *

When Jamie woke for the second time that morning, the bed was empty. He sat up, anxiety crashing into his sleep haze like a startled deer through the underbrush. Bennett was gone—he regretted fucking Jamie—Jamie had pushed too hard, had ruined everything—

"Oh, you're awake," said Bennett, appearing in the doorway, looking tousled and serene. Jamie's heart surged. He was wearing his sweatpants again, slung low over his hips, and Jamie longed to run his tongue along the taut skin below his navel.

Jamie sat up.

"Yeah, just woke up," he said. "What time is it?"

"A little past eleven," Bennett said.

"Oh shit—" Jamie said, throwing back the covers.

"Classes were canceled," Bennett said, smiling. "We've got a snow day." His eyes tracked down and Jamie remembered he was still naked. Bennett's eyes flashed, and Jamie could feel his cock responding.

"You gonna kick me out?" Jamie said with a small smile, and Bennett climbed onto the bed, crawling on top of Jamie and kissing him deeply.

"Never, Jamie," he said after a moment, his eyes dark and feral. "Especially not when you're naked in my bed."

A hot thrill ran through the center of Jamie's body, down to his cock. It was incredible, unbelievable, to hear Bennett say these words. He hooked his legs around Bennett again, just like he had when they were fucking, as if Bennett might slip away if Jamie didn't hang on.

His cock was hard again, and then Bennett's mouth moving down, kissing along Jamie's chest.

"Is this okay?" Bennett said, looking up at Jamie as he settled between his legs. Jamie propped himself up on his elbows so he could better see Bennett as he took Jamie's cock in his hand.

"Are you joking?" Jamie said, a little breathlessly. "This is like—holy shit—"

Bennett laughed, a low, growly chuckle that made Jamie dizzy. He bent his head, bringing his lips just an inch away from the head of Jamie's cock, where precum was beading.

"I've spent months wondering what you taste like," Bennett said, looking up at Jamie through his lashes. Jamie moaned helplessly, thrusting up into Bennett's grip.

"That's so fucking hot," Jamie whispered. "God—Bennett, please—"

And then Bennett had mercy on him, taking his cock down in one sure swallow, and Jamie fell back onto the pillows, panting and wriggling and moaning, as Bennett worked him with his hand and mouth. He wasn't quite convinced this wasn't a dream—it was hard to believe that he was really seeing Bennett looking up at him, his mouth wrapped around Jamie's cock. Jamie came quickly, lost in a rosy haze of pleasure and the wet, tight heat of Bennett's mouth.

"F-fuck," Jamie sighed, collapsing back onto the bed, trying to catch his breath.

Bennett sat back, wiping his mouth in an oddly prim way, considering he'd just been sucking a dick.

"That was… fucking amazing," Jamie said, looking up at Bennett. Bennett smiled fondly.

"It was for me too," he said. "Would you like coffee?"

"God, yes please—especially if it's the same stuff you have at your office."

"That's my back up coffee," Bennett said, helping Jamie up. The glass from whatever had shattered and woken Jamie up last night had been cleared away. "This is the good stuff."

"I suppose I should get dressed," Jamie said, looking down where he stood, naked in the morning light. Bennett turned around, his eyes roving over Jamie's body, and Jamie flushed.

"God, you're incredible," Bennett said, pulling Jamie close and kissing him again. Jamie could taste himself on Bennett's lips, and he sighed into the kiss. "As much as I like you naked, you might want to—it's colder in the kitchen."

Bennett grabbed his shirt, tugging it on as he left the room.

Jamie pulled on his borrowed clothing, which was now at a neat pile at the end of the bed—Bennett must have collected the scattered garments while Jamie slept. The power had come back on sometime that morning, but Jamie wasn't even sure when. He went into the kitchen, where he leaned against the doorway, watching Bennett prepare coffee. Bennett was lost in thought and didn’t realize Jamie was there—it was a precious, stolen moment to see Bennett in his natural habitat, unaware he was being watched.

Jamie's stomach rumbled, breaking the moment.

"D'you think I could get something to eat?" he asked, coming all the way into the kitchen and leaning against the counter.

"Oh, right, I'm sorry," Bennett said. "I… don't really eat breakfast. I forgot. Let me see what I have."

Bennett opened the fridge door, which was woefully empty.

"Bennett, do you actually live here?" Jamie said, laughing. "You have no food."

"I eat a lot of take out," Bennett said, looking a little embarrassed. "Don't tell anyone but I’m actually not much good at being an adult."

Jamie went up behind Bennett, wrapping his arms around Bennett's waist and resting his chin on Bennett's shoulder as best he could, given their height difference. He liked the way Bennett leaned into the contact.

"I can just have the leftovers from last night," Jamie said, untangling himself and grabbing the little container of pasta. "If that's okay?"

"Sorry there's nothing… better," Bennett said.

"Bennett, I'm a college student. Ninety percent of my meals are free food I scavenged from campus events," Jamie said, pulling himself up on the counter. "Fork?"

"Do you want a plate?" Bennett said. "Or… to heat it up?"

"Nah," Jamie said, and Bennett laughed, handing Jamie a fork from a nearby drawer.

He watched Bennett finish making coffee and shoved the pasta rather ungracefully into his mouth.

"Here you are," Bennett said when it was ready, handing Jamie a mug and pouring one for himself. Jamie set the little container aside and accepted the mug, inhaling deeply.

"Oh god," he moaned as he took a sip. "This really is incredible."

"I know," Bennett said with a crooked smile. "I'm glad you like it. I've spent an embarrassing amount of time and money on coffee and coffee related supplies."

"Worth it," Jamie said emphatically.

For a few minutes, they just drank their coffee quietly together, Bennett still standing near the sink, Jamie sitting on the counter. Bennett was watching Jamie with a faint smile on his lips, and Jamie felt warmed and terrified all at once.

"So," Jamie said after a little while. "We should… probably talk or something."

Bennett's face went blank, the kind of controlled passivity of someone who's trying to hide their true emotions.

Fuck, Jamie thought. Bad sign. But he knew this conversation would come sooner or later, and he would much rather just get it over with.

"I suppose we should," Bennett said. "Come into the living room."

Jamie sat down on the couch, tucking his legs underneath him, and Bennett sat down at the other end. There seemed to be miles and miles of rich brown leather between them.

Bennett had his distant professor face on again, and Jamie felt transported back to the first weeks of school when he'd spent every minute of every day poring over their interactions, searching for clues as to what was going on in his head.

"Can you… tell me what you're thinking?" Bennett said carefully.

I want you I love you please don't push me away again—

Jamie's mouth opened and closed. He felt hundreds of words crowding on the tip of his tongue, clamoring to be spoken.

"I—Er—I—"

And then it was all too much. Jamie's eyes burned and his throat tightened. He knew what would happen. Jamie had all but forced himself into Bennett's bed, and as soon as the snow cleared Bennett would come to his senses and realize that Jamie had nothing to offer him.

A tear spilled down his cheek.

"Jamie—" Bennett said, setting down his mug and sitting up straight, looking alarmed. "Jamie, why are you crying?"

"Why—why are you so far away?" Jamie said, his cheeks burning with shame. Of all the things to say, he wasn't sure why that came out of his mouth first, but then suddenly Bennett was next to him, taking the mug gently from his hand and setting it down before wrapping Jamie in his arms.

"Oh, Jamie, Jamie," Bennett whispered into Jamie's hair as he held him tight. "I'm sorry—I thought—I wanted to give you space."

"I don’t want space—" Jamie said, sniffling. He'd always cried at the smallest things—he had a distinct memory of sobbing while his mother read to him from Runaway Bunny, convinced there'd be no happy ending. He was a mess, he knew, but he couldn't help it. "I want you and—I'm just—I'm afraid—"

Bennett was pushing him back slightly, both hands gripping his shoulders tightly, Jamie was facing him. Jamie wiped at his eyes impatiently, willing himself to get it together.

"Jamie, what are you afraid of?" he asked.

Jamie looked down, unable to meet Bennett's gaze, but Bennett brought a hand to Jamie's chin, tilting his face up. Bennett's eyes were soft and full of concern.

"I'm afraid you don't want me," Jamie said finally.

And—though Jamie couldn’t quite believe it—he swore he saw Bennett's heart break.

"Oh, darling," Bennett whispered, kissing him softly. "How could you possibly think that after—"

"It was just—so good," Jamie said. "So much. I've never… had sex like that meant as much as that." He knew he should filter himself, that he'd probably scare Bennett away with his intensity, but he couldn't stop, the words spilling out of him like he'd sprung a leak.

"It meant something to me too," Bennett said.

"Really?" Jamie said.

"Of course." The gold in Bennett's eyes looked like a sunburst, and Jamie wished he could wrap himself up forever in the warmth of Bennett's gaze. Jamie wiped his face again and moved, throwing his leg over so he was straddling Bennett's lap. He brought his hands to Bennett's shoulders and Bennett instinctively grabbed his waist, holding him tight.

"Then where do we go from here?" Jamie said fiercely, pain and want and love burning bright in him like a flare. "I can't—I can't keep pretending I don't want you."

"You never did a very good job of that," Bennett said with a crooked smile. He brought his hand to Jamie's face again, tracing along his jaw. He hesitated for a moment. "I—I can't keep pretending that either, though."

"So—what?" Jamie demanded. "Because I think I'm gonna die if I have to go back and sit in lecture and think I'm never going to get to kiss you again."

"We'd need to be… discreet," Bennett said. "I'm sorry—you deserve better—but just for the rest of the semester—"

Bennett couldn’t finish his sentence because Jamie flung his arms around him, hugging him tight.

"I don’t care," Jamie said, pressing a sloppy kiss on his lips. "I don't care, I don't care, I just—really? You're not joking? You—you want this?"

"Jamie," Bennett said, and he seemed almost amused. "I've been thinking about you every day since we met. I want this more than—anything."

Jamie was beaming. He was so happy he could barely breathe. He kissed Bennett again, and this time he let Bennett take control—the kiss was slow and deep and Jamie got lost in the feeling of Bennett's tongue against his, the feeling of Bennett's body under his.

He was getting hard again—not surprisingly, really, given that he got hard even more easily than he cried. His body was reactive like that. But he felt Bennett's cock hardening, too, underneath him as he wriggled against Bennett.

Jamie pulled back, gasping for breath.

"So—does this mean—you're my boyfriend?" he asked.

Bennett raised an eyebrow, looking skeptical, and Jamie frowned.

"Well—" Jamie started, feeling deflated.

"If that's… something you'd like, then yes," Bennett said. "It's just… I'm feeling very old right now."

Jamie laughed.

"It's, like, sexy, though," he said. "My older professor boyfriend."

Bennett looked pained.

"Sexy for you, maybe. Embarrassing for me."

Jamie rolled his eyes.

"You are definitely going to have to get over that," he said. He rolled his hips, grinding against Bennett's cock, and Bennett let out a lovely little moan, which gave Jamie an idea. "Hey, but since I'm your boyfriend, I should probably give you a blowjob, right?"

Bennett's eyes went wide with surprise and desire.

"There's nothing you should do—"

"Yeah, but I want to," Jamie said.

Bennett looked hesitant and Jamie gave him an exasperated look.

"Look, I'd say at least eighty percent of the time I'm in your office grading, I'm actually thinking about sucking your dick."

Bennett let out a helpless little noise.

"Is that a yes?" Jamie asked. Bennett paused, squeezed his eyes shut, then nodded. "Excellent then."

Jamie climbed off Bennett's lap rather gracelessly and got on the floor, pushing Bennett's knees open to kneel between them. He reached for the waistband of Bennett's sweatpants and Bennett tensed.

"Bennett," Jamie said softly, looking up at him. "Is this about the scar?"

Bennett gritted his teeth, then nodded.

"We don't have to do this," Jamie said. "But I'd like to."

Bennett let out a long sigh, then, to Jamie's surprise, he yanked his sweatpants down to his thighs.

Jamie inhaled with delight at the sight of Bennett's cock, ruddy and swollen and totally hard. He hadn't gotten a proper look at it that morning, but it was gorgeous, and Jamie actually found his mouth watering.

Jeez, Jamie, this isn't porn, he thought, but it might as well have been, for as good as Bennett looked.

He noticed the scar second, a wide line up his leg that reminded Jamie of a bolt of lightning. Whatever had happened, it had been seriously gruesome, and Jamie wasn't surprised Bennett still had trouble with it.

He glanced up to see Bennett watching him carefully, like Jamie might suddenly start retching at the sight of some scar tissue.

"It's—"

Jamie shushed him and brought his lips to the very edge of the scar, where it ended right above Bennett's knee. He ghosted his lips along the gnarled, slightly shiny skin there.

"Does that hurt?" Jamie asked.

"No," Bennett said, his breath unsteady.

"Good," Jamie said, and resumed his task. He slowly worked his way up along Bennett's scar, exploring it with fingers and lips and tongue, feeling more than seeing the uneven skin as he lavished attention on it. By the time he got to the top of it, Bennett was trembling. His cock was hard as ever, precum gleaming at the tip.

"I think it's beautiful," Jamie said, looking up at Bennett. Bennett swallowed hard. Jamie relented then, taking Bennett's cock in his hand and stroking him. Bennett sighed a long, shuddering exhale.

Jamie ran his tongue along the slit, tasting him, and then took the head in his mouth. Bennett softly groaned above him. He was nervous—Bennett had way more experience than he did, clearly, and the blowjob he'd given Jamie that morning had been incredible.

But when he glanced back up to Bennett and his anxiety melted away, because Bennett was looking at Jamie with something close to reverence. Bennett's hands were at his sides, and Jamie saw his fingers twitching, so he guided one of Bennett's hand to the back of his head. Bennett immediately tangled his fingers into Jamie's hair—not pulling, but just a light pressure that made Jamie feel protected, safe.

"God—fuck—" Bennett moaned. "You're so perfect—"

Jamie set to work, immediately settling into a steady rhythm. He wanted to tease Bennett some time, to get him so riled up he was writhing and begging just the way Jamie had been that morning before they'd fucked, but for now, he just wanted to feel Bennett's smooth, hot cock in his mouth, wanted to taste him as he came.

Jamie shifted slightly, pulling Bennett's sweatpants down past his knees and nudging his legs further apart. Bennett obliged, and Jamie brought one hand to his balls and the other to his shaft as he worked the head with his mouth. It was a lot to keep track of, so much so that his own erection faded into background noise as he focused every bit of his concentration on making this as good as possible for Bennett.

And he seemed to be doing a decent job, if the noises Bennett was making were any indication. His hips twitched and his thighs tensed and then—

"Jamie—" His hand was rigid in Jamie's hair. "I’m close—oh god—"

And then, a moment later, Bennett was coming, spilling a hot, salty rush into Jamie's mouth, and he swallowed eagerly, keeping up the pace until Bennett guided him off his cock.

Jamie scrambled into Bennett's lap as he sank down into the couch, looking completely blissed out. Jamie beamed with pride.

"Can I kiss you?" Jamie asked.

"Of course," Bennett said breathlessly, and he grabbed Jamie's face and hauled him in for a deep, searing kiss, his tongue shoving into Jamie's mouth. After a moment, they broke apart, simply looking at one another.

"Hey, guess what?" Jamie said.

"What?"

"You're my boyfriend."

He laughed as Bennett shook his head, smiling.

"I'm your boyfriend," he agreed, and Jamie was sure no person had ever been happier than he was at that moment.