I counted the weeks on the tiny calendar hanging up in the nurse’s station. It had been four weeks and five days since I met Apollo that night in Vegas. The tiny bird on my wrist took on a whole new meaning. When I was with Apollo that night, I felt like I was flying. When I looked at the tiny, black bird, I thought of him and wondered what he was doing.

Work was almost harder than I imagined it would be. Nursing school had prepared me for the long hours and difficult patients, but it was different now that I was running the floor on my own. Hospitals in the city were notoriously understaffed and I felt like I was constantly running.

After two to three weeks, I felt the stress of the job taking its toll on my body. I felt exhausted all the time, even after a good night of sleep. I felt nauseated, probably from never having enough time to eat or drink anything with any semblance of nutrition. I loved my new job, but I already longed for the days where I could sleep beside the hottest guy I’ve ever been with.

Even though I told myself not to, I thought about Apollo a lot in the following weeks. I wondered where he was, if he was still in Las Vegas or if he had moved on. I imagined a backstory for him, stories about a kid from a blue-collar family leaving home to make a name for himself. I thought about riding on the back of his motorcycle, the vibrations from the machine making me clutch tighter around his hips. I spent nights after long shifts in my bathtub, thinking about him as my hands wandered.

I even searched his first name online and found absolutely nothing to do with the man I knew. His first name was a part of Greek mythology, even though I swore he was Italian. Maybe one parent was Greek and the other was Italian. That would explain his tan skin and dark hair. I wondered if he had the Italian temper I saw so often with my dad.

My dad was everything to me, but he could be a bit much at times. I was his little girl, and while I loved being the center of attention from time to time, his protective nature could be overbearing. I mean, he hired my teachers and friends to spy on me throughout my whole life. That wasn’t something that normal parents did.

But regardless, I loved him anyway. He was away a lot for work, but he always returned from his travels with expensive gifts for my mom and me. It made up for the fact that he wasn’t always home, but when he was, he was grouchy from work.

Occasionally, I would try to imagine introducing Apollo to my father. Even in my most optimistic fantasies, it always ended with the two of us running away because my father didn’t approve. It wasn’t that Apollo was any worse than he was at his age, but the fact that no one could be good enough for me in his eyes.

“Sierra,” Kara said to me, snapping me out of my daydream. “Felicity and I are grabbing a drink after this shift. Are you in?”

“Yes, please,” I said. My feet ached and I already had two patients yell at me today. I needed to blow off some steam. Luckily, Felicity and Kara worked at the same hospital.

At ten, we went to a little tapas bar across the street. We ordered snacks and a glass of white wine each.

“When can we go back to Vegas?” Kara whined, rubbing her temples.

“Not soon enough,” I replied taking a sip.

“I’m surprised that you want to go back,” Felicity noted. “I knew you had a good time, but it seemed like a once in a lifetime trip for you.”

“Of course she wants to go back,” Kara interjected. “Apollo is there.”

The two of them oohed and aahed while I rolled my eyes. They were right, but I didn’t like their teasing.

“Have you heard anything from him?” Kara asked. “An email or phone call or anything?”

“Nope,” I said flatly. “Not a trace. I can’t find him and he can’t find me. That’s just how things are going to be.”

“You’re trying to find him?” Felicity squealed. “You didn’t tell me this.”

I had slipped up. It was pathetic of me to scour the internet for a guy who didn’t have any interest in me.

“I was curious,” I admitted. “I wasn’t planning on contacting him. He just seemed so interesting. I couldn’t help myself.”

“I’ve been there,” Felicity said, knocking back her drink. “It never ends well. It’s best to pretend it never happened.”

I nodded in agreement and we changed the conversation to talk about the hospital. I was glad that I wasn’t the only one who had a long day.

“And to make things worse,” Kara said, “I started my period right in the middle of putting in a patient’s IV line. Luckily, I had a spare pair of scrub bottoms in my locker. I took a tampon from your bag, though, Sierra. Hope that’s all right.”

“No problem,” I laughed. “I haven’t started yet.”

I did a mental count of the days since my last period. My friends and I were usually synched up. If today was the twenty-fifth, then I should have started almost a week ago. My new job was extremely stressful, so it made sense why I was late.

Then, I realized the other reason I could be late.

At the time, things happened so quickly with Apollo that I didn’t even think about using a condom. Then, in my haste to get back to the hotel to tell my friends about my night, I didn’t even think about getting the morning after pill from the pharmacy.

Everything clicked into place. Were my late period, fatigue, and nausea all symptoms of something bigger? I couldn’t even think the p-word in my head. It was a thought so outrageous that I couldn’t even fathom it.

But being the Type-A personality that I was, if I was really pregnant, I needed to know now. Every minute that I sat here wondering was making me lose my mind. What were my options if I really was pregnant? I’d always told myself that I would raise a child regardless of my circumstances, but it would be impossible to explain to my father. He’d go on a manhunt and probably kill Apollo.

The only good thing about that is that I’d know where he was. But I didn’t want any harm to come to him. I just wanted to be able to talk to him.

“Shall we order another glass?” Felicity asked.

“I think I’m going to head home,” I said softly.

“Is something wrong? We’ll stop making fun of you about that guy.”

“No, I’m just exhausted. I didn’t sleep well last night. I’ll see you two tomorrow, bright and early.”

I should have been a little more discreet, but I was too distracted to stay any longer. I sped to the pharmacy closest to my house and picked up a pregnancy test. As I waited to check out, I felt like I was a teenager, about to get caught. I was twenty-two. I shouldn’t have to feel that kind of shame. But for some odd reason, I was terrified of getting caught.

Next, I raced to the apartment I shared with Felicity while her other roommates were away and bolted up to my room. In the bathroom, I followed the instructions on the package. After giving the sample, I would have to wait three minutes to see if I was pregnant or not. I dropped the sample into the testing strip and sat on the toilet, my pants around my ankles. I was too nervous to move.

Then, I waited the longest three minutes of my life. I couldn’t stand staring at the indicator, so I closed my eyes and counted in my head.

One, two, three, four—