After my shift at the hospital, I texted my mom to tell her that I was stopping by the house. I knew that my dad had gone back to Las Vegas for a few days, so she would be there alone. It would be the perfect time to start testing the waters with her about leaving my father.

Almost immediately, she responded, telling me that she wasn’t feeling well and that I should come back another day. As a nurse, she should have known better to think that a claim of illness would keep me away. She was hiding something.

I pretended to ignore her text and marched inside the house anyway, calling to her from the front door. Her car was in the driveway. She couldn’t hide her secret from me much longer.

Upon hearing my voice, I heard scampering sounds upstairs, so I ran to her room to see what she was doing. In the bathroom, she was quickly trying to apply concealer to a badly bruised and swollen eye.

“Mom!” I exclaimed upon seeing her face. I wasn’t trying to have a dramatic reaction, but even I was startled by how bad it was.

“Calm down, Sierra,” she said, shushing me. “I just had a little accident, nothing to get worked up about.”

“Is Dad hitting you what you call a little accident?” I said coldly.

She turned to me, a look of horror on her face.

“How—”

“It doesn’t matter how I know,” I said. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

She went over to her bed and sat down. I joined her, feeling sick.

“How long has this been going on?” I asked.

She bit her lip before speaking. “Around the time you moved out to go to nursing school. Things haven’t been great for a long time, but they got a lot worse recently. I never wanted you to think that anything was wrong. You looked up to your father so much.”

My blood boiled. My whole life, I wanted to believe that my dad was a good person. So much so, that everyone else got in on the cover up. I felt like everything I knew was a lie.

“You can’t let him do that to you,” I said, knowing that those words were meaningless. I’d seen abused women in the hospital before. Even if they wanted to get out, they still felt safer living with their abuser instead of trying to leave. Only I could help her.

“I can handle it,” she said. I went to the medicine cabinet and gathered the supplies I needed. I dabbed antibiotic ointment on her cuts and scrapes as I spoke.

“Is this why you’ve been drinking so much lately?”

“Yes. I found that if I’m good and drunk before he hits me, it doesn’t hurt as much. A bottle of wine numbs my face just enough to tolerate it.”

My stomach lurched. “Mom, I’ve just recently found out about some of the things Dad has been doing to his employees over the years. Why didn’t I know about it?”

She let out a dry chuckle. “Sierra, I don’t even know the half of it. We want to believe that the man we love would never do anything wrong. He runs the fucking mob. I should have never been involved with him. But, when he was young, he was so sweet to me. He wasn’t into that kind of stuff yet. Once I saw his true character, it was too late.”

“What do you mean?”

“I was young when I had you. Your father was a traditional man and demanded that we get married. Who was I to say no? He had a lot of money and I knew he would take care of the two of us. I was afraid, but I made it work so we could have stable lives.”

“And you never thought about leaving him?”

“Oh, I did all the time. Luckily for me, he bought those properties all over the place and went away on business. If he wasn’t around, then it hardly felt like an issue. I didn’t even care if he slept around while he was away. I liked having a little break from him. When he would return, I was well-rested enough to be able to handle the temper. I really didn’t mind, because once things got bad again, he’d go back to Las Vegas.”

“You stayed because you could tolerate him?”

“I guess so. Plus, you know how angry he can get. What do you think he would have done if I would have asked for a divorce?”

It was a grim thought. She had basically suffered through decades of domestic abuse, mostly for my benefit. I wondered if I would ever be able to shake that guilt.

“You did this all for me?”

“You can’t blame yourself,” she said, seeing right through me. “At one point, I thought we’d have more children. I always wanted to give you a brother or sister.”

“Why didn’t you?”

She took a deep breath and looked at the floor. “I was pregnant, once. You were three and I’d just found out. I hadn’t even told you yet. You were at your grandparents’ house and your father and I got into a big fight. He kicked the shit out of me and I lost the baby.”

I clamped both hands over my mouth.

“When he found out what he had done, he was beside himself. The damage was so bad, I could never have kids again. I told the doctors that I had gotten into a car accident, so he wouldn’t get into trouble. I thought that he felt too much remorse to ever lay a finger on me again. It worked for a while, but it didn’t last long.”

This was the final straw. Any doubt I had about getting my dad locked up was gone. Now, this affected me personally. The sibling that I wanted so badly as a child was brutally murdered by my dad. If that didn’t make matters bad enough, he also prevented my mother from having any more children.

In the past, whenever I asked her why she only had me, she said that I was all she needed. Now I knew the truth. She wanted more, but she had to make do with what she had. That’s why I had been doted on for my entire life. I was their one chance.

Feeling the weight of responsibility on my shoulders, I decided that I would tell my mom about Apollo. That way, she would understand what needed to be done. I was scared to invite her into our conspiracy, but I felt like it was the right moment. Seeing her with her battered face, I knew that she wanted out of this life, just as much as Apollo and I did.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t know,” I said, resting my head on her shoulder. “I should have known.”

“I’m afraid I hid it well,” she said. “But now that you’re old enough, I think it’s time you knew the truth. I’m sorry you didn’t find out about your father sooner.”

“Mom,” I said, feeling nervous. “There’s something I have to tell you.”

“Anything,” she said, stroking my face. It felt good to be in my mother’s embrace.

I told her everything, from my one-night stand in Las Vegas to Apollo’s plans. She listened intently, but was never as shocked and surprised as I imagined she’d be. I supposed that after the life she lived, very little surprised her anymore.

“I talked to Apollo last night,” I said. “We’re all in danger if Dad is still free to do whatever he wants. We need to get away from him.”

She nodded, looking at my belly. A tear came to her eye, and I wasn’t sure what emotion it resulted from.

“Do you think you and Apollo have any chance of being happy together? If you’re safe, can you have a good relationship?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I want to, but I don’t know if he does. I don’t think he can think that far ahead when there’s still so much at stake here.”

“He’d be crazy not to want to be with you,” she said, a crinkled smile appearing on her face. I laid down on the bed, resting my head in my mom’s lap like I did when I was a kid.

“Don’t worry, Sierra,” she said, stroking my hair. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation of her long fingernails raking through my hair. “We’ll figure something out.”

“Will you help Apollo and me?” I asked hopefully.

“I’ll do anything to ensure that you have a better life than I did.”

“Mom,” I said, looking up at her. “You’re still so young. You have time to make a new life for yourself.”

She sighed and returned to massaging my scalp. “Soon, you’ll discover that when your child is in trouble, your needs hardly exist anymore.”

“If you won’t help yourself, I’ll help you,” I said defiantly.

“That’s the sweet girl I know,” she said softly. “Always taking care of others. You’re going to make a fantastic mom. I know it’s not the best timing, but I couldn’t be prouder of you. You deserve the best in life, and I’ll do whatever I can to make sure you get it.”

“Will you help me with the baby? He or she will need their grandma.”

She playfully crinkled up her nose at the word, and we both burst into laughter. The situation was dire, but it felt good to have a moment alone with my mom. I wanted her to be healthy so we could have more of these moments.

“I need to go home now,” I said, dreading leaving her alone. “If Dad gets home and something happens, call me immediately. If things get really bad, call the police.”

Once the words came out of my mouth, I knew that she wouldn’t do either of those things. Still, she agreed.

“Oh, and no more drinking,” I said. “Throw the bottles away, if you have to. You need to be sharp so we can figure out how to get out of this mess.”

“Okay,” she said sadly. “I wish you didn’t have to go.”

These words felt like a dagger through my heart. I owed it to my mom to get her out of her abusive home.

“I’ll be back soon. I love you.”

As I left my parents’ house, I wondered if I was making a terrible mistake by leaving her alone. I had little choice, though. I had to cover part of a shift at the hospital, and my patients needed me, too. I thrived in these situations, but I hoped that it wouldn’t stretch me past my breaking point. Everyone was counting on me.