TWENTY-EIGHT
Zeus
Logic would blame the change in the air on the shifting seasons, but as I step out into my best friend’s backyard, my gut tells me the unease can be attributed to something a lot more ominous.
I force myself to look toward John first, giving him a nod before I send a smile toward Jodie and Cerise, acknowledging Belle last. Her gaze is apprehensive as she reclines on a lawn chair around the fire pit John has lit.
Have to admit I feel much the same seeing my ex-wife here. Curious that she hasn’t bought Eric with her.
“Glad you made it,” Cerise calls out before turning to Belle. “Get your uncle a beer, would you.”
My spine aches at her blatant decision to label our relationship in such a way. Belle seems to stiffen also as she rises to head for the cooler.
What started as a gathering of old friends will be war before the night is out; that much I’m sure of.
“How was the week?” John asks, seemingly oblivious as he rises and turns toward the barbecue.
“Long.” I chuckle, choosing to do the usual and join him at the business end of things while the women talk.
What they talk about though, wouldn’t I like to know that?
John throws a cursory glance at the women and then leans in close. “You okay with her being here?”
“Jodie?”
He nods.
I shrug one shoulder. “Sure. Where’s the arsehole she’s living with?”
John smirks, lifting the lid on the barbecue to prepare the plates. “Apparently he wasn’t comfortable coming along. Not when he heard Cerise had invited you, too.”
I chuckle, crossing my arms as I note the bored look on Jodie’s face while Cerise talks. “Can’t blame the guy, really.”
I keep civil for John’s sake as it is. He wants to make this work with Cerise, so as much as I can’t stand the bitch, I’ll play along—especially if it means a chance to see Belle.
Ah, who the fuck am I kidding? Belle is the only reason I’m here.
“Best we get this bad boy started,” John says with a smile as he reaches for the tap on the gas bottle. “Belle’s made some good-looking salads, and I’m famished.”
The girl in question appears at my side, a freshly opened bottle in a coolie. “Here.”
“Thanks.” Our fingers touch as she passes it to me, and an ache like I’ve never known settles in my arm as I force myself to pull back.
I want to wrap an arm around her waist and pull to my side, where she belongs. I want to kiss those pink lips until they’re swollen and blushed. I want to fucking bite her shoulder at the base of her neck and mark her so that no other fucker looks twice at her.
Jesus. Get a grip.
“It’s been quiet without you here,” John admits as he fires the elements to life.
I pull my gaze from Belle’s retreating arse and smile. “Didn’t realise I was that much of a noisy housemate.”
“Not particularly.” He nods toward his daughter. “But she doesn’t talk nearly as much either, so it’s as though I’ve lost the two of you.”
“Her and Cerise still not getting along?” I lift the bottle to my lips, aiming for indifference.
He frowns and takes a moment to answer. “No.”
Silence hangs thick between us as John reaches for the packages of meat set on the side of the grill. He tears them open, arranging the sausages across the plate first. Jodie avoids eye contact, twisting to give me her back as I shift my focus to the women. Cerise, however… that bitch watches me like a hawk as I lean against the side of house and take another pull of my beer.
Belle is nowhere to be seen.
The whole thing is fucked. I’m surrounded by so-called friends, and yet it feels as though I’m stranded in the middle of a minefield.
“Shoot,” John exclaims from beside me. “Could you nip indoors and grab the tray to put this on when it’s done?”
“Yeah, sure.” I set my beer down on the side of the barbecue and head for the house.
Cerise eyes me the whole way while my ex-wife continues to chat, seemingly oblivious to the daggers being thrown my way.
I find Belle in the kitchen, chopping fresh tomatoes. She stills as I walk in, her shoulders visibly relaxing. “We have to be careful.”
“Hello to you, too.”
Her knife lifts and she gestures outside with a flick of her wrist. “I think she’s onto us.”
“I think so too.” Makes me worry if Belle can sense it too. What’s the woman said to her?
Belle sucks in a sharp breath as I grab her jeans by the pocket and yank her toward me. Where I stand, we’re out of line of the windows that overlook the backyard, out of sight of the buzzard waiting for its kill.
“Can’t sleep right without you under the same roof,” I murmur against her neck.
She leans into me, her hand held out to the side with the knife still in her grasp. “I hate being so far away from you.”
“It had to happen.” I couldn’t stay at John’s forever—especially with Cerise back. “It was only ever temporary, dove.”
“I want permanent with you, though.” She frowns, her eyes searching mine. “I want to live with you.”
I can’t hear any more, not when my own heart echoes the same sentiments. She sighs against my mouth as I claim her with the kiss that’s been on my mind since I dropped her home midweek. I want to come home to this every day, to walk in the door and kiss my woman so that she knows how much I’ve missed her.
I want this. I want it now.
I want her now.
“I can’t do this,” I whisper, my forehead pressed to hers as I hold Belle’s face in my hands. “I can’t keep pretending you mean nothing, that I don’t look at you and want to touch you, that I don’t want to make every moment we get together count.”
“So, let’s tell them.”
If only it were that simple. “Not tonight, dove. We will, but not tonight.” My thumbs grow wet, and I pull away to find tears cutting a path down her cheeks. “Baby, what’s wrong?”
“She wants to get you back together with Jodie.” Belle frowns. “That’s why Cerise organised this.”
She has nothing to worry about. “She’s delusional,” I say with a smile. “Jodie’s happy with that arsehole, now. She’s moved on.”
Yet the words don’t seem to convince Belle, her frown growing deeper. “Do you though?”
“Do I what?”
“Still love her?”
Jesus. That’s what she thinks? “No.” I stroke my thumb across her cheek, wiping away the fresh tears. “Why would you even think that?”
“Because you only just split.” Belle pulls from my hold, resuming chopping the tomatoes as she talks. “You were upset about it, when you found out about her cheating on you. I just figured….”
“What?” Because whatever her mind came up with, she’s got it arse about face.
“That I was a rebound.”
“Jesus, dove. Fuck no.” I step beside her, not giving a single fuck if anyone—Cerise especially—can see us as I reach for her chin and turn her face toward me. “Jodie and I were done a long time ago. It’s just neither of us wanted to face the truth. I love you. You, Belle. I’ve loved you for a long time.”
“You can love more than one person.” Her eyes search mine.
“In more than one way,” I stress. “I love your father, I loved my sister, and yeah, I love Jodie because she was a part of my life for so long, but you?” I smile, releasing her chin from my grip. “Baby, you’re something that I’ve never felt so deep before, something nobody can match.”
Belle steps away, returning to her task. “It hurts living without you,” she tells the tomatoes that die under her assault. “It hurts waking up every day wondering if this is the one where I lose you.”
“Why the fuck would you?” I cross my arms; frustrated that she needs to be reminded constantly how deep this runs between us.
“Because you said it yourself.” She pauses to look me in the eye, and the ache in her words damn near cripples me. “What we have can’t last. There are ways for people to tear us apart if they really wanted to. What we’re doing here, it’s not normal. It might not be wrong, but it isn’t exactly right either. It’s dangerous.” She sighs, setting the knife down to place her hand on my arm, out of view of the others. “One of us is going to get hurt, and I don’t know if I could handle being the one that is, especially if you were the one to do it.”
“So stop worrying about it.” I hook my fingers in the waist of her jeans to pull her hips to mine. “Because I’ve got no intentions of hurting you. Ever.”