One month later
Stuart came awake with a start pulse pounding in his ears, feeling disconcerted he listened intently, checking out the room for anything out of place. Seeing nothing wrong in the room he took in the light filtering through the curtains, he realised it was later than he expected. November mornings took a while to lighten, making him gauge it was probably around mid-morning.
Noticing the quiet of the house he had a flash of concern rise before he could quell it. He shrugged it off knowing he was getting better at being alone. He made a concerted effort relaxing back against the warm brushed cotton sheets. Warmth cocooned him, reminding him that they needed to buy another set of fleeced sheets. He could still see Joe’s horrified face when he’d said he didn’t own a pair of brushed cotton sheets. Chuckling at how Joe had battered his lashes at him, using his melted chocolate eyes to persuade him that he needed them in his life. Joe hadn’t been wrong he so did, stretching under their warmth now he took stock of his aches and pains. Cataloguing each pull and ache, he was pleased with his progress when he could move freely.
The past four weeks his body had healed and the surgeon at the hospital was no longer concerned about any permanent damage to his wrists. Rubbing them absently, he wondered if the same could be said for his mind. The counselling Joe and Brad had persuaded him to attend was helping or least he thought so. The urges to check on Joe had waned and he no longer jumped at the slightest noise, so he supposed that was something.
Sleeping and keeping the nightmares at bay, well, they had a way to go on that, but at least he could acknowledge openly the horrors he’d endured. Joe’s presence at that counselling session had been harrowing but the counsellor had felt it was important for both of them. He shook off the memory not wanting to live it again, rolling off the bed only groaning a little at the stiffness in his legs.
Stuart opened the curtains letting the light flood in, the crisp blue sky a welcome sight after the past few weeks of rain. Heading for the shower, stripping of his jersey shorts and top he stretched in front of the mirror. That first real look at himself in the bathroom after leaving the hospital could still make him shudder in horror. The torment he’d suffered had really hit home in that one moment making him worry about whether the damage to his genitals was going to be permanent.
He grinned to himself when his morning wood waved hello. Oh yeah, things were starting to return to normal there too, scratching his balls, he went to relieve himself. Recalling the first day he’d got morning wood the week before. The pain had him almost passing out, but by God if he could have done a happy dance he would have. Joe on the other hand, not sure what was wrong when he’d yelled, had all but had a fit as he had burst through the door. Well that was until Stuart could explain his relief over his concerns. The sympathy and guilt he’d seen in Joe’s eyes had taken the shine off the moment, making his erection flag.
He’d been careful after that, only sharing with the therapist and Aaden his concerns, not wanting to burden Joe. Aaden, though he continued to remain closed mouthed about what happened after they left him with Joel, was actually a great sounding board. Well, that was after he realised Aaden only wanted friendship from Joe, it had gone a long way to easing the tension between them. Stuart found himself venting his frustrations and worries to the stoic man, Joe’s guilt making for a daily discussion when it didn’t relinquish.
Since Joe’s first declaration of love he’d hoped he would settle, but for some reason that hadn’t happened because he was convinced he could still feel the uncertainty between them; no matter how many times he told Joe he loved him.
Over the past few weeks Joe’s fussing had driven Stuart to distraction only because Joe had never let him do more than hold him. The intimate side of their relationship a distant recollection, and okay, he’d known he wasn’t up for much, but he could have relieved Joe’s stress in that department.
Stuart rolled his shoulders as if preparing for battle as he got in the shower, thinking hard for ways to convince Joe he was fine or near as, damn it. He smirked at his eager bouncing cock, it fully on board with his other head’s thoughts on how to achieve that.
Washing quickly, Stuart took stock of his body. Joe needed to see past the images of that day. He had, now he just needed to find a way to get Joe to too. Stepping out of the shower he dried, dressing in sweats before he headed out of the bedroom. Stillness and silence had him padding down stairs wondering where Joe could be.
The warmth radiating from the lounge told him Joe had lit the fire already. Casting a quick eye into the room, the flicker of flames had him wanting to sit and watch them but his grumbling stomach kept him moving. The decidedly empty kitchen and lack of cooking smells ratcheted up his concern. Sweat beaded on his brow, clenching his hands when his heart started to race. Using the therapist’s breathing techniques he let his mind calm, focusing on just breathing, repeating his own little mantra.
Seconds bled into minutes as he finally felt calm enough to unclench his hands. Opening eyes he hadn’t realised had shut, he searched, spotting the piece of paper on the table. Walking over he picked it up, chuckling when he read it. His smile spread across his cheeks in anticipation, eagerness had him heading straight out of the house.
His earlier disappointment at the lack of breakfast forgotten at thoughts of seeing Princess now she was at last home from the vet’s. There had been some complication with her surgery and subsequent healing. Unsure of the full story, but she had not been able to leave the vet’s when initially planned.
Martin and Brad had gotten home on the Friday after the Joel debacle. He still couldn’t call it a kidnapping, his mind not able to cope with that word. Both Joe and he had been distraught to find Princess was still not out of the woods. Brad and Martin had been camping out at the vet’s. After their initial visit to him to see how he was, he’d not seen them since.
He disregarded the winter chill penetrating his hoodie, feeling a sense of freedom after struggling to leave the house those first few weeks. He breathed in deeply, taking the time to appreciate the icy cold air as it filled his lungs, no longer feeling the anxiety at being seen. The reality that he could easily have auditioned for Frankenstein’s monster had finally dwindled with the swelling and discolouration.
It still shocked him that Greg hadn’t been able to recognise him when he’d found him. Well, he supposed in his own state of mind he hadn’t recognised Greg either. What had the therapist called it, temporary Agnosia—where the mind doesn’t recognise persons, sounds or shapes. Whatever it was, he was just happy that things were getting back to normal.
The fact the incident reported in the newspapers and regional television newscast had barely caused a stir, made him breathe a sigh of relief for Aaden. The reports of a John Doe being seen by several hikers before they’d witnessed him falling, rolling down the mountain side before coming to rest against a large rock. When they had gotten to him he was dead, his sustained injuries attributed to the fall. Though they had called for the emergency services, he had been declared dead at the scene. The local coroner had called it death by misadventure, putting his broken neck as the cause of death.
There had been no concern raised as to any other suspicious circumstances, the police had closed the case, though they were still attempting to identify him. There seemed to be no record of his fingerprints or dental records.
Greg and he had discussed that aspect at length, how can someone have no identity especially if they were in the army? Joe’s shrug when he’d asked about it more telling when he wouldn’t look at him. Stuart was suspicious, knowing full well what Joe’s capabilities were with computers. Though he kept those thoughts to himself, because as far as he was concerned good riddance to bad rubbish. Joel was better off dead than him, that was for sure. He chose not to feel guilty about that.
Pushing the thought away he wondered if Greg would turn up today, being as it was Monday and he had the excuse of work. Who would have thought it that Greg would be his saviour? Stuart chortled thinking about Greg’s avoidance of talking about what happened. He looked over to Aaden’s house, yeah it had nothing to do with Joel, and everything to do with a certain stoic neighbour, that was for damn sure.
Aaden would not discuss what happened, and as far as Stuart was concerned it was best to let sleeping dogs lie. However, the cold shoulder Aaden was giving Greg when he visited would have made crossing the Antarctic while wearing flip flops easier than Aaden having a conversation with Greg. He couldn’t understand what their problem was, and Greg wasn’t talking about it either, making his frustration grow with each visit Greg made.
That was also something that was very noticeable, Greg had insisted on spending an inordinate amount of time at his house over the last month when Stuart could remote into work and teleconference if needed. Stuart was absolutely convinced it had more to do with Aaden living across the road by the amount of time Greg spent mooning out the window.
Stuart put it aside for now bringing his attention to the door in front of him. Giving a perfunctory knock he headed in rushing through the house into the kitchen, knowing exactly where everyone would be. Eager to see Princess he burst through the door, happiness had him springing forward and lifting Princess off her velvet perch before he could think. Emotions had him blinking several times before he could speak.
“There is my brave little soldier.” His muffled words buried in her tiny neck. The silky fur tickling his nose, taking only seconds before the loud sneeze echoed through the room. The silence deafening before laughter erupted at the disgruntled look on Princess’s face, shaking her now wet fur she jumped out of his arms, stalking back to her pillow.
Looking down at her on her pillow Stuart gave her a sheepish smile. “You know I’m allergic.”
The howls of laughter had him wanting to join in, but the low rumbling growl emanating from the ground had him rethinking as his eyes clashed with Max’s bicoloured ones. Max’s hard stare had him stepping back from Princess.
The others clearly amused by the situation had his pinking cheeks puffing out as he sat down on the only vacant chair. The feeling that normal service had resumed between him and Princess had him grinning.
“Well, I was promised breakfast and a little cuddle from my brave little soldier, since I’ve had the second. Well sort of.” His disgruntled stare at Princess and Max causing more hilarity at the implied short length of the hug. He turned a beaming sultry smile on Brad. “Now, where is my breakfast?” Ramping up the huskiness, Stuart gave him a full watt sexy smile.
The implication behind his voice not lost on either Joe or Martin as they growled in unison. Stuart kept his satisfied smile in place as Brad went to grab a plate from the oven as he spoke.
“We had ours an hour ago, but I kept this warm for you, babe.”
Smiling brightly, Stuart noted how healthy Brad looked. Their initial visit to him had been difficult for everyone and he hadn’t really paid any attention to anyone. The feeling of guilt had made it hard, especially when you added in Brad’s obvious distress about Princess. Now, however, he could see that the holiday sun had deepened his skin to a beautiful bronze, making his sea green eyes glow with health. Though he had dark circles around his eyes, it didn’t detract from the radiating happiness that Princess’s return caused.
He ate in silence, happy to listen to the happy banter as Joe filled them in on how he would be helping Aaden finish his house. The work they’d started all those weeks ago had had to stop for obvious reasons.
Aaden had done some more work, but not much from what he gleaned from Joe. Aaden, it appeared, had been preoccupied with other things, but Stuart knew better than to ask what they were. With Stuart’s injuries healed he had encouraged Joe to help his friend to get things moving again. Joe’s hate for the state of the house only increasing with every visit, he was utterly convinced it was impossible to live with shit brown and flocked walls.
Ms Stevens, it would appear, had decided to sell and Aaden had chosen to purchase it for a steal. The offer by all accounts far too good to pass up, the question it raised for Stuart was why was he staying? Aaden had appeared even more broody and distant since the incident so it begged the question, why was he staying and what was his real problem?
Stuart looked at Joe raising his brow, swallowing his mouthful of bacon he tried to recall what he’d just been asked after zoning out.
Joe gave him a concerned look before speaking. “I think Greg has a little thing for Aaden, did you see the way his ass keeps making buttons to go over to the house to keep checking on Aaden? Or that he appears to have had a new fake tan done? Do you think he looks like he’s been tangoed? I think you need to have a word with him, Stuart. You know, tell him to scrub that shit off. Anyway, what do you think about him and Aaden, you know, being a thing? There seems to be sparks, even if Aaden acts like he doesn’t exist.”
Head battered at the rush of words, Stuart considered how to respond. While he and Greg were friendly, he wasn’t sure how to interrupt the behaviour he’d witnessed since Greg’s return from Aaden’s last week.
It had taken Greg three weeks before he had finally mustered the courage to go and actually talk about what was going on between them. The ‘come to Jesus’ chat as he’d called it with Aaden didn’t seem to go all that well. The anger had been palpable when Greg returned and he hadn’t wanted to talk about it, so he let him be. But he couldn’t fail to notice the constant glances out the window and the subsequent lack of work, eventually he’d told him he could go home. Greg’s heavy sigh and slumped shoulders left Stuart feeling apprehensive for him, but unsure how he could help when Greg wouldn’t talk about what was troubling him.
“I’m not sure, but whatever it is, neither man seems happy about it. I think we should just leave them to it. As for the tangoed part, you’re a brave man, if you want to tell Greg he looks like an orange, he may be timid at times, but I bet under that quiet exterior is a little hellion.” His knowing look had Joe pouting, realising he had hit the nail on the head when Joe cheeks flushed under his stare.
“I mean it, Joe, leave them to sort it themselves. They do not need our help.” His stern tone had Joe poking out his tongue making them all laugh at his childish action. Looking down at his now empty plate, he gazed back at the sleeping Princess before turning to Joe. “Come on, I think Brad and Martin would like a little time alone with Princess.”
Rising he stopped mid step as Brad laid a small hand on his arm speaking in a hushed tone.
“Can I have a word?”
Nodding, he followed him out of the room overlooking Joe’s worried expression, giving him a quick reassuring grin even as his stomach dropped. Stepping into the bright lounge he waited for Brad to get whatever it was he needed to say off his chest. Trying to calm his pounding pulse didn’t seem to stop the cold sweat that gathered at the base of his back. Stuart’s mind anxiously made up all sorts of scenarios, none of them with a happy ending.
Brad could see the worry on Stuart’s face so he launched right in. “I know you blame yourself for what happened, as does Joe. I want to tell you what I told him. Princess is a guardian, it’s hard to explain but she has this innate knowledge that tells her when she needs to help. Whatever happened to her, she chose to take the risk knowing it would help you. So whatever feelings of guilt you’re carrying, drop them into the bin on the way out the door. They’re not yours to carry, okay?”
The blunt forthright speech had him think back to the timid Brad he had met so many years ago. His smile grew as he looked at Brad, delighted at how he had grown into such a wonderfully strong man. Pride swelled in his chest as he grinned back at him cheekily, hauling him closer for a hug. He was grateful once again they had been able to get past their history and become friends.
“Thank you.” Choking back his emotions, he kissed Brad’s cheek. The slight noise behind him had the imp of mischief make him move his mouth a little to the left, making their lips meet knowing who was behind them. Brad’s round startled sea green eyes stared up. The sparkle of devilment that flashed back at him had him trying to pull back, only to find him clasped against Brad’s small firm chest. Brad wet his lips lavishly a second before smashing them against Stuart’s.
“Uhg,” trying to pull back from Brad’s rather firm grip, Stuart shuddered in disgust as he swiped at his soaking lips, hating nothing more than sloppy wet kisses.
“Oh, Stuart, I didn’t know you wanted me so much, how can I ever tell Martin or Joe that you’re going to run away with me?” The high screeching falsetto voice had him cringing, as slick wet lips puckered up again. The devilish glint never leaving Brad’s flashing green depths making his cheeks flood with heat before he turned feeling the weight of Martin and Joe’s amusement as he faced them.
Disregarding them both and their joint laughter he rubbed his wet mouth on his sleeve, stalking past them with his head held high. The sound of rushing feet behind him had his sense of humour returning, though he kept his face turned so Joe couldn’t see his twitching lips.
Joe’s warm hand caught his, making him stop at their front door. The look of concern deep in his chocolate gaze had Stuart think about his earlier ideas on how to remove the wall Joe had built with his guilt. Without thinking he pulled Joe to him, pleased when he came easily, he bent to nuzzle into his neck. The scent of apples invaded his senses making his mouth water for a taste. Christ it has been too long since I’ve had even the smallest of tastes.
Joe’s rigid stance had Stuart struggling to hold back the sigh of frustration that wanted to escape. The urge to shake him had his hands clutching at Joe’s soft wool jumper. Taking a breath he hoped to calm his rampant system, only Joe’s scent and warmth against him was making his cock want in on the action. Stuart angled his body slightly away, needing at least some semblance of coherent thought if he wanted to achieve his end goal: a naked and moaning Joe on the end of his hard cock.
Enough was enough, it ended now. He was back to where he’d been, well nearly, but his body was definitely up for more than a cuddle. This lack of intimacy was over whether Joe was ready or not. He wanted back the Joe who would have happily jumped him if there was the slightest chance of sex, rather than the one he had now doing everything to avoid it.
Stuart felt his mind hold onto that thought a second before he tugged on Joe’s dishevelled hair, wrapping his fingers in the silky length. Tilting Joe’s head back so he could see his face, he needed to see his eyes. He wasn’t going to let Joe hide anymore. Stuart instantly felt heat spread across his chest at the reflection of love he could see on Joe’s face but the guilt was there, tainting it.
Holding Joe still in his arms he slowly bent, maintaining eye contact as he licked the seam of his lush peach lips, Stuart felt them quiver under his tongue. Joe’s eyes melted into puddles of gooey chocolate before him. Encouraging him to explore the sweetness he could taste on Joe’s lush mouth, his body tightened painfully. The desire to plunder, to drink in the sweetness, had Stuart struggling to remember they were still outside their home.
Stuart felt a light puff of air brush his lips as Joe exhaled on a moan. Stuart flexed his fingers as Joe tried to move forward and take control. “Tut, tut, we will have less of that. You know who’s in control here. Who will give you everything you want, sweetheart, hmm?” Growling against Joe’s lips he felt his body shudder before going plaint a second after he spoke. Stuart licked his lips, watching as Joe tongue’s came out to play trying to get to his mouth, a grin formed before he could stop it.
Leaning in he let Joe take what he wanted, heat spread fast as the slick wet heat of his mouth made Stuart want to dive in. Oblivious to everything other than the taste and smell of Joe when he writhed in his arms making his cock pound a painful tattoo against Joe’s abdomen.
Stuart drew back smirking when Joe followed, his lips puckered, pupils blown with lust making his eyes appear like dark chocolate. Shuddering at the sheer naked want on Joe’s face, he searched for the key to open the door. His fingers trembled as he tried for a second time to push the key in the lock; Joe’s quiet chuckle behind him had his pause.
“Think you can do any better?” Challenge clear to hear as Stuart pushed the key into Joe’s shaking hand. Not stepping back he pulled Joe against his chest, leaning in and licking up the side of his neck, he tasted his body wash and a slight saltiness of his sweat. Stuart felt Joe shiver as he pushed the key into the lock achieving what he couldn’t, made him chuckle. I mustn’t be doing my job right, now that just won’t do.
Moving his hands down Joe’s chest he made sure to tease his nipples through the soft wool before moving lower. The subtle grind of ass against his erection had his breath backing up in his lungs. Hissing a breath past his clenched teeth, he spoke without thinking.
“Hell it’s been too long.” The stillness told him he should have kept his mouth shut. Joe’s withdrawal was almost instantaneous. Cursing under his breath as Joe pushed the door open, stepping away from him.