FIVE DAYS LATER …
“We’re going to have to kill him.”
I see no alternative.” I took a sip of water, watching Masa go about his business. He was serving tables while singing “The Man Who Wants You” by Amos Lee at the top of his voice. People in love were the absolute worst. “He’s been intolerable ever since he got back with his girlfriend. It’s too bad, he’s a nice guy.”
“Yeah,” said Nell. “Replacing him is going to be a pain in the ass. But we can’t have people hanging around being all happy and shit.”
I sighed. “No, we can’t. The man can really sing.”
Nell stopped stirring the pot of soup, moving onto a sizzling pan of bacon. “Masa hosted a karaoke club over in Spokane before this job. Said the driving got to be too much.”
“Cool.”
At the end of the song, the customers broke out into applause. Even I joined in despite my woe. Vaughan’s absence sat like a stone in my heart. A piece of me altered that might never feel soft and alive again. Love was so strange. A collection of shared moments linked together to form this sort of chain of emotion between two people. You witness each other’s lives, giving and taking as needed. And then, one day, it’s gone. You’re alone. Loneliness feels a great burden when you’re used to sharing. Used to being part of a couple. Though, I don’t suppose it’s a party for anyone.
Enough whining. I’d adjust.
The next time Vaughan came to town I’d be polite, friendly. Show him everything was cool. I’d learned my lesson, however. Dating was out of the question. Any hook-ups with friends were likewise. Parties between the thighs only complicated things. It just wasn’t worth the inevitable misery. If only orgasms and happy times lasted longer. You should be able to bottle them, let a smidgeon of pleasure and joy fly out when required. How nice that would be.
Wide grin in place, Masa floated past us with a load of dirty dishes. “Wonderful night, isn’t it, ladies?”
“Bite me,” grumbled Nell.
Well aware of our lovelorn state, the waiter just laughed, carrying on his merry way. I got my butt back into gear, checking on my tables. Joe smiled as I passed by the bar. Eric was busy chatting with two women sipping exotic-looking drinks. Life went on.
“If You Ever Want to Be in Love” by James Bay was on and I hummed along, getting into the groove of things. Super-slick music played tonight. It was Eric’s turn at choosing, a duty taken seriously by all members of staff once they were allowed onto the rotation. I had yet to be asked to submit a playlist. Maybe I’d just put one together, and force the issue. If everyone could tolerate Boyd’s punk then surely they’d be fine with a couple of hours’ worth of my pop and rock favorites.
“Can I clear those for you?” I asked a woman, moving in after she nodded to remove the dinner plates.
“Hold up,” said a voice behind me. A very familiar one.
A hand reached around, taking the plates from me and setting them back on the table. The arm covered in tattoos was every bit as familiar as the voice.
I turned, heart stuttering at who stood before me. Lots of stubble and rumpled clothes. His hair was a mess, shadows circling his eyes. Didn’t matter. He was the most beautiful welcome sight I’d ever seen.
“Vaughan.”
“I got all the way to L.A. and I realized something,” he said.
“What?” I frowned.
“I don’t know who the first guy you ever fucked was.”
Some gasped. Another person tittered.
My mouth opened, but I had no words.
He shoved a hand through his hair, weary face lined. “I told you my story. You never got around to telling me yours, however.”
“Oh.”
“So?”
I blinked. “You want to hear it right here and now?”
“Sure. Why not.” He turned, searching for something. His hand grabbed mine and he towed me across the restaurant to an empty table in the corner. A seat was pulled out for me, and I sat.
“I think I’m having a heart attack,” I mumbled.
“Hmm?” He sat opposite me, leaning his elbows on the table. “Oh, I don’t know your favorite color either. Isn’t that weird? It feels weird. I mean, I should know things like that about you, shouldn’t I?”
“I don’t know.”
“Of course I should!” He smiled, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.
“What’s happening?”
“Hmm?” His warm hand cupped my cheek, his gaze soft and lovely.
“What is this? Why are you here?” I asked, shuffling forward in my seat. Stupidly enough, on the verge of crying. My eyes were itchy, swollen. My heart felt much the same. Apparently, heartbreak itched. I was obviously allergic.
“I just told you.”
Much too much emotion poured through me. I couldn’t take it. Not again. I pushed away his hand, shaking my head. “You got to L.A. and turned back around because you don’t know what my favorite color is?”
“Yes.”
“That’s insane.”
He shrugged, slouching back in his chair. “I needed to know.”
“You couldn’t just text?” Oops, my voice got a little loud. I’d say we were attracting attention, but given his odd entry, we already had.
“No.”
“No?” My hands were trembling, idiot things. I sat on them, got them out of sight. “What do you mean, ‘no’?”
“There’s more questions.”
“How many more?”
“Lots.” Perfect sky-blue eyes. I could have happily gotten lost in them and never left. “I can’t give you an exact number.”
I pressed a hand to my chest. Thump, thump, thump. Heart rate accelerated. Body shaking Sweat covered my back. This was not good. I picked up a menu and started fanning my face.
“Babe?”
“I don’t understand any of this,” I said, mostly to myself, but he was here too. Whatever.
Slowly, he pushed back his chair. He rose and came over to my side, crouching at my feet. A big warm hand covered my bare knee. I’d decided to wear a black pencil skirt on account of the hot weather. Thank god. Skin to skin with him made everything right. I calmed at his touch. My heart rate eased back to normal, my head no longer felt like it was about to explode. I wished that didn’t happen. Vaughan having any kind of physical effect on me did not bode well. I had no say over my emotions. It wasn’t too much to ask for my body to keep this crap under control, however. Surely not.
He took the menu out of my hand, placing it back on the table. I gave him my best bewildered stare. Seriously, it was a “what the fuck” masterpiece.
“I came back,” he said softly.
“For how long?” I asked, blinking back the tears. Stupid glands.
“As long as it takes.”
Yeah. Okay. Enough. I leaned down, getting in his face. My mouth was a mean line. “As long as what takes? Can you please give me a straight fucking answer before I kill you?”
His answering grin was like the sun coming out. Absolutely magnificent.
Then he lunged, grabbing hold of my face and kissing me stupid. I was, however, already a fool so I grabbed him right back. I clung to him, hands fisted in his shirt. Tongues, teeth, we were all over each other. Any children subjected to the spectacle would have required counseling, I’m certain. Apologies would have to be made later.
For now, I had him. And he felt like the whole damn world.
Once the kiss was done, he drew back, lips damp and eyes smiling. “I came back.”
“You came back,” I agreed, smiling despite all of the questions and the lingering doubt and pain in my heart.
“I’m crazy about you, Lydia. We wished it were different, me being in L.A. and you being here,” he said, eyes full of emotion. “So I’m making it different.”
I could only stare. It meant too much. I wanted him too badly.
“I’ll stay.” He cocked his head, stealing another quick kiss. “I canceled the house sale. Financially, I’ve got some issues. But Andre said I could start working with him tomorrow. Between that and the Dive Bar, I’ll get it sorted out. Haven’t worked out everything yet.”
“But your dream!”
“Funny thing about that dream,” he said. “It now includes being with you.”
My heart lurched again. It couldn’t be healthy. Any minute now, I’d probably hit the floor dead. “It does?”
“Yes.”
“And your band, working with Henning Peters? What about all that?” I demanded. “You said it was a big deal. The best opportunity you’d ever had.”
“Lydia, I’ve been chasing music all my life. But you’re the best opportunity I’ve ever had,” he said, tone deadly serious. “I’m sorry it took me leaving to figure that out.”
“You broke my heart.”
“Babe.” Regret filled his eyes. “I’m an idiot.”
“Yeah.” I sniffed.
“Can you ever forgive me?”
I pretended to ponder it for a moment. The man had done me damage.
“I’m so fucking sorry I caused you pain. I’ll do my best to make sure it never happens again,” he said. “Can you please forgive me?”
“’spose so.” It’s extremely difficult to appear proud and dignified while your nose is leaking. But I did my best.
“Thank you.” He stroked my cheek.
“What will you do about your music? You can’t just stop.”
“No. I’ll always want to play. It’s a big part of me. I want to record my songs, perform them live. But I don’t necessarily need a band for that. I’ve been rethinking things,” he said. “Fact is, you come first for me. I’ve decided to go solo so I can be based here, organize my music so it fits in with us. But if I have to leave for work, go on tour, I’ll come back. Okay?”
“Okay.” Despite all of my deep breathing and blinking, tears started falling down my face. “All right.”
“You’ll move your stuff back into my house?”
“I don’t know,” I said, nerves buzzing. “You don’t think we should date? Maybe take things slow and do this properly?”
He scrunched up his nose. “Problem with that is, my dream also involves having lots of sex with you. I mean, a serious amount.”
“I see.”
“It’s not just about the sex, though. The dream is quite detailed.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah.” He reached out, wiping the tears from my face with a frown. “Stop that. I don’t like it. Didn’t come back to make you cry.”
“They’re happy tears. Leave them alone. The dream, Vaughan,” I prodded, slapping lightly at his hand.
He smiled. “It involves us going to sleep together and waking up together.”
“Okay.”
“And doing coupley shit, you know.”
“Coupley shit?” My brows went high. “What is this coupley shit?”
One of his shoulders hitched. “Hanging out, watching TV, being together. Mostly naked, but occasionally not.”
“Sounds like a good dream.”
“No,” he corrected. “It’s great one.”
I smiled back at him. I couldn’t not. “Yes, it is. You’re sure, though?”
“I’m sure.”
“No. I need you to have thought this through. I don’t want you to wind up resenting me. It would hurt if you changed your mind, decided the musical prospects on the coast were more important.” I grabbed his hand and held on tight. Quietly terrified of what we were doing. “It would hurt me really badly.”
Lines surrounded his eyes, his gaze intensifying. “Babe. This chance with you … you’re it for me. You’re my number one and you’re staying there. I need you to believe that. This isn’t a passing idea. I didn’t hit L.A. and suddenly feel a bit bummed ’cause you weren’t there. I’m not saying I knew you were it for me the minute I saw you in the bath. To be honest, I was kind of pissed off about the whole thing. But not much later, things changed. A half an hour, maybe. Definitely by the time you punched that asshole.”
I laughed through the tears. “Ha. You sure it wasn’t the breasts?”
“The breasts were definitely a part of it. But I wanted … no, I needed to know everything about you. I needed you to stay,” he said, voice so sincere it hurt. “I just didn’t want to change. Not my plans, not my life.”
“What happened?”
Clearing his throat, he rose, lifting me likewise to my feet. Strong arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me in close. And god, it felt so good. It felt like my dream. My body relaxed against his, my arms winding around his neck.
“Vaughan?”
“I know that asshole made you doubt yourself. Made you doubt feeling like this about anyone.” He rested his forehead against mine. “But you’re in me. Have been since the first day I met you. I fought it for a while, but that’s over.”
“You’re in me too.”
“Good.” The tip of his nose rubbed against mine. “That’s good, Lydia. ’Cause that’s where I’m going to stay.”
I buried my face against his chest. Damn tears.
“I mean that literally too,” he whispered against my ear. “You get that right?”
I hiccupped, laughing. “I get that. I want that.”
A happy humming noise came from his chest. His hold on me intensified, keeping me safe, keeping us tight.
“I love you, you know,” I said, putting it all out there. Taking the leap, trusting in him and us. “I didn’t want to, but I do.”
“Thank fuck for that,” he murmured.
“What the hell?” asked Nell, appearing at our side. Along with basically everyone. Joe, Eric, Masa, even Boyd. Apparently this had turned into a staff meeting.
I subtly wiped my nose on Vaughan’s shirt because love was meant to hurt and occasionally be icky. Happily, it was also meant to shine.
“I’m moving back to town, calling off the sale of the house.”
I don’t know if I’d ever seen Nell so happy. She hid it pretty quickly, however. “And you’re manhandling my waitress, why?”
“Because we’re going to get married someday and make babies,” said Vaughan, relaxed as anything. “Not necessarily in that order. It’s up to her.”
“Holy shit.” My face returned to his shirt. God help my heart. The way it was galloping, I don’t think it would ever recover from this night.
“Damn,” said Joe’s deep voice. “You don’t do things by halves, do you?”
“When you know, you know.”
“Congratulations, man.”
“Thanks.”
“To you too, Lydia.”
I wiped off my face, smiling like a lovestruck fool. So what. All good. No, all fucking fantastic. “Thanks, Joe.”
Others echoed the sentiment. There were smiles all around. Except for on one face.
“Big decision,” said Eric, arms crossed. “You going to stick with it or you going to change your mind and leave her high and dry like you did with me being in the band? It’s just that, Lydia seems nice. And friends and family, people that are supposed to matter, don’t always seem to be important to you.”
Silence. And not the happy kind.
“You were out of the band because you didn’t take it seriously,” said Vaughan. “No other reason. I wasn’t turning my back on you as a friend. You stopped taking my calls, remember?”
Eric harrumphed.
“But you’re right. I’ve been slack with keeping in touch with people, looking after the people I love. That’s going to change.”
“That so?”
“Yes,” said Vaughan, neither man backing down. Oh, the heady scent of testosterone was thick in the air. They’d probably start banging antlers any time now. I held Vaughan’s hand, standing at his side.
“Nell,” he said. “I was wondering if you’d visit Mom and Dad’s graves with me sometime soon. Haven’t been back since the funeral, but I think it’s time.”
“We could tell them about Lydia and the baby,” said his sister, tears bright in her eyes.
“Yeah, we could.”
“What a gathering,” said a new voice. Andre joined our circle, huddled in among all of the restaurant tables. Quite a few of them occupied.
“Can we get some service, please?” called out a customer. Fair enough.
“In a minute,” said Eric, holding up a hand for patience.
“I think you’re going to make a hell of a guitar teacher. Glad to have you on board.” Andre reached across to shake Vaughan’s hand.
“Thanks for giving me a chance.”
“You’re serious about this then?” asked Eric. Judgment oozed from the man’s pores. Along with some expensive aftershave, no doubt. “Staying here, being with Lydia.”
“Yeah,” said Vaughan. “I am. You still got a problem with me, don’t want me working here. Fine. I quit. I’m not interested in making trouble in the Dive Bar.”
A tongue worked behind Eric’s cheek, his gaze inscrutable. Then he climbed onto a chair and clapped his hands, calling up everyone’s attention, staff and customers alike.
Oh shit. What now?
“Got an announcement to make,” he said, looking down at us all from on high. “Two valued members of the Dive Bar family, Lydia and Vaughan, just decided to get married. I’d like to offer them my congratulations.”
Applause erupted.
So did I. “What? We didn’t do that. We didn’t get engaged.”
“We sort of did,” said Vaughan, kissing my hand.
“To celebrate,” said Eric, smiling at one and all. “Drinks are on the house!”
I, however, was not smiling, what with being on the verge of a full-blown panic attack. “I can’t get engaged two weeks after not getting married. Who would do that? No one would do that. It’s crazy!”
“Babe.” Vaughan grinned, enjoying the moment entirely too much. “Don’t worry about it. It’s just out there somewhere, waiting until you’re ready.”
“But we’re not really engaged, right?”
“I love you,” he said, kissing my lips.
“Crap.” I deflated, basically collapsing against him. It was all too much and my heart was on the line. Again. Blood rushed behind my ears while people clapped and whooped. Champagne corks were already popping. And there Vaughan stood, waiting patiently for me to get my shit together.
“If you go away, you’ll come back?” I asked.
He met my eyes without a shadow of fear or doubt. “I’ll come back.”
“Okay. All right.”
This wasn’t Chris asshole Delaney. This was Vaughan. My Vaughan. He didn’t say shit he didn’t mean. He loved me. But what’s more, I loved him.
“I’ll be waiting,” I said.
“Babe.” His smile, the blue of his eyes … everything about the man. Everything.
Unable to hold back, I launched myself at him.
Customers were treated to quite a show, Masa started singing again (something by the Stones this time), me and Vaughan were rolling around on the floor. Things were crazy in the Dive Bar.
Thing is, sometimes crazy works.