CHAPTER 1
Jasper
*
DECEMBER 20
FIVE DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS
Jasper thudded into the snowbank, arms upraised to defend himself from the vicious assault.
“Raar! Raaaaar!” his nephew roared, leaping onto his chest. Jasper lowered his arms— just in time to see that Cole hadn’t jumped up empty-handed. A snowball the size of a football exploded on his face.
“Cole, leave your uncle alone!”
Jasper sat up, spitting snow, at the sound of his older sister Opal’s exasperated but loving voice. He rubbed snow out of his eyes and grinned at her. Jasper had just arrived in town, spat out of the inter-city bus with a swarm of excited Christmas vacationers. He’d caught sight of Opal and his nephew across the road, loaded down with Christmas shopping— and hadn’t even had a chance to say hello before Cole launched his attack.
It was a year since he’d seen Opal last, but she hadn’t changed a bit. Still the same dusting of freckles on her long Heartwell nose, the same bright eyes the color of the gem she was named after— and the same pleased-but-hiding-it scowl, which he was sure she saved just for him. He could just imagine how she would flick her wings at him if she was in her dragon form.
Jasper waved at his sister as Cole tried to stuff more snow down his collar. “Hey, sis. Not even an hour back in town and I’m attacked— argh, and frozen to death— by my own blood. What sort of a welcome do you call this?”
Opal rolled her eyes at him. He got the feeling if she hadn’t been laden down with shopping bags, she would have crossed her arms.
“Maybe the sort of welcome a good-for-nothin’ brother gets when he doesn’t even tell his family he’ll be home for Christmas? Where’s your car? What did you do, bus here with the rest of the tourists?” Her jewel-toned eyes flicked from side to side, and Jasper’s heart sank. He knew what she was looking for. “Oh. It’s... just you, then?” she asked, her voice smaller.
“Yeah.” Jasper didn’t want to see the look in her eyes as he admitted it. He stood up, slinging Cole over his shoulder. The little boy whooped with excitement. “Just me— and a suitcase full of presents! What do you think, buddy? Can your old uncle Jasper come stay for Christmas?”
“Yeah! Presents!” Cole jiggled happily on Jasper’s shoulder, then tugged on his ear. Jasper turned his head obediently to catch the boy’s whisper. “Can we go flying, too?”
Jasper stared into his nephew’s innocent, blue-black eyes. Inside him, his dragon shivered, but he couldn’t let his feelings show. Not in front of Cole. He grinned, and winked at him. “Go flying? You betcha, buddy.”
Opal sucked in a breath. Jasper didn’t blame her. Right now, she would be wondering whether, in a few days’ time, he’d ever be able to fly again.
He sighed. Whatever grim suspicions she was harboring, she was right to be worried. And she deserved more than him pretending everything was okay.
Jasper grabbed the handle of the suitcase he’d dropped when Cole launched his attack, and trundled over to his sister. She glared up at him, but her frown didn’t hide the tears in her eyes.
Guilt lanced through him, double-edged: one for his human side, and one for his dragon. And a hell of a lot for his sister.
“Hey,” he said softly, putting one arm around her. She elbowed him grumpily, but didn’t pull away. “It’s all right.”
“No, it’s not,” Opal grumbled. “You’re turning twenty-five this Christmas, and if you’ve come here alone, that means— you’re going to have to choose...” Her shoulders slumped and she glanced up at Cole, who was busy making airplane noises and stealing Jasper’s hat. *And whatever you choose, I lose part of my brother.*
Jasper’s smile cracked, and he pulled his sister into a bear hug. “Hey, it’s all right. I’ll still be here.” Some of me, at least. Oh, hell. What am I doing to myself? To my family?
“What’s wrong?”
Jasper winced. He shouldn’t have said that out loud. Now Cole was leaning over his shoulder, peering into both adults’ faces.
“Are you in trouble, uncle Jasper? Mommy, is he in trouble?”
Jasper watched his sister take a deep breath and force a smile on her face. “Oh, he sure is! So much trouble. And you know what people get for Christmas when they’ve been bad, right?”
A grin cracked across Cole’s face and he threw his head back with a mad cackle. “Me!”
“That’s right! You get Cole in your stocking!”
Jasper stifled a snort-laugh. *You realise that joke’s going to get old fast, right?*
*Going to get old? It’s been the number one, top Heartwell Family joke since September. It’s so old, it’s got wrinkles. You have a bit of catching up to do, little bro.*
She smiled at him, but her eyes were still sad. Jasper’s chest hurt and inside him, his dragon shivered again. Harder this time, like it wanted to shake loose from him.
He didn’t blame it. Whatever happened this Christmas, one of them would end up... gone.
“Can uncle Jasper come with us to the big tree and and and you can have a coffee and I can have a cookie?” Cole implored, hanging sideways off Jasper’s shoulder so he could stare imploringly at his mother. “Pleaaaaase?”
Opal snorted and flicked his nose. “I can have a coffee, huh? You sure know the way to your mommy’s heart. Okay. Jas, you want to dump your stuff in the car and we can head down to the square?”
After a bit of load-swapping, where Jasper made sure he was carrying all of Opal’s shopping bags, and his suitcase, and his firecracker nephew, and his sister didn’t have to carry anything, Opal led the way back to the car. It was already laden down with a day’s shopping, but Jasper managed to wedge his suitcase into the trunk.
His mouth watered as he peeked into a canvas bag full of holiday groceries. “You planning to feed an army, sis?”
Opal snorted. “A four-year-old dragon shifter, which is basically the same thing. You remember how much we ate at his age?”
“And more every year after...” Jasper cracked open the lid of a chiller box. “He’s only going to get bigger— ooh, leg of lamb? My favorite!”
Opal slapped his hand away. “You mean, my favorite. I didn’t even know you were coming, remember?” She shut the trunk with a thud and shot him a sideways glance. “And, not gonna lie to you, bro, I kind of wish you weren’t here. You still have—” Her voice broke, but she pushed through, scowling at the car. “You still have five days—”
“For what?” Jasper checked that Cole was still distracted by the display in a nearby shop window, and stepped closer to Opal.
She narrowed her eyes. “You know what.”
“Opal, I’ve spent the last five years traveling the world, trying to find her. If she even exists.” Jasper pulled his woolen hat off and ran his fingers through his dark hair. “I’ve tried matchmaking services, blind dates, double dates, online dating, everything I could think of, in hundreds of cities, and I’m— I’m tired, sis. I just want to spend Christmas with my family.”
Opal’s eyes softened. “You know we’re always here for you.” She squeezed his arm. “Whatever happens.”
“Thanks, sis. Now, let’s go get that coffee. I think I’m going to need one, too.” He grinned at her. His face felt stiff, but— he’d made his choice. And it was the right one. Wasn’t it?
I want to spend Christmas with my family. Even if it’s my last Christmas as myself.
Opal called Cole back over and Jasper braced himself as the little boy tackled him. He swung his nephew up on his shoulders again. Cole made his hands into claws and roared.
“Hey,” Opal whispered. “Remember what we said about being a human while we’re in town?”
Cole flopped forward, his arms dangling limply over Jasper’s face. “Ye-es,” he admitted reluctantly. When Opal looked away, he made little claws and scrabbled at Jasper’s forehead. *Raar!* he roared telepathically.
*I heard that, Cole Jasper Heartwell!* his mother called back. “Come on. Let’s go get that coffee. And your cookie, if you behave.”
Jasper chuckled. God, it’s good to be home. He came back to the mountains as often as he could, but with his quest to find a mate taking up most of his time for the last few years, that hadn’t been much. Now that he was here, with the sky stretching endlessly overhead, and the peaks and valleys of the mountains promising hundreds of hours of fun adventures with his nephew…
Maybe it won’t be so hard.
Inside him, Jasper’s dragon curled into a tighter ball. Lately it had been doing that a lot. That, and shivering. Like it couldn’t decide whether it wanted to hold on, or flee.
He lowered his head and followed his sister down the street.
The town square was just as he remembered it from the last Christmas he’d spent in town. A giant tree stood in the centre, festooned with gold decorations and glowing with a thousand lights. More ropes of lights were strung out from the top of the tree, connecting to the shopfronts that ran around the edge of the square, and right on top of it was a massive star that twinkled in the lights that seemed to hang in the air below it. It was magical.
Which was silly for a dragon to think, but Jasper had always had a special place in his heart for all the trappings of Christmas. It was his birthday, after all. And a time when people came together in happiness and joy, and all good things. The perfect time of year. Especially these last few years. With his quest to find his mate being such a failure, Christmases at home with his family had been the one certainty in life he could rely on.
Some of the tension in Jasper’s chest unwound. He caught up with Opal in a few long strides and linked arms with her. “Where this coffee? My shout.”
“There— see the piles of exhausted parents under the tree?” Opal pointed.
Low benches and chairs were arranged around glowing braziers beneath the spreading branches of the massive Christmas tree. A coffee cart designed to look like Santa’s sleigh was parked in the middle of them, holding baristas in red and white costumes who were busily dispensing life-giving drinks to the lifeless-looking inhabitants of the chairs.
Opal sighed happily. “God, I love this place. Get me a Rudolph Special, will you? And Cole can have anything except the Jolly Fat Man donut surprise.”
Cole giggled. “The surprise is I threw it up!”
Opal collapsed into a cushioned chair. “No, sweetie. It’s three massive donuts cemented into a Santa the size of a toddler. You throwing it up after you scoffed it wasn’t a surprise.” She closed her eyes. *The surprise was you throwing it up on me while dive-bombing me when I was trying to put up the Christmas lights.*
“Gross, buddy.” Jasper reached up to ruffle his nephew’s hair. “You’re right, your mom definitely deserves a coffee. Let’s go get her one.”
A few minutes later, Opal revived enough to grab the drink Jasper passed her. The Rudolph Special was the coffee cart’s showstopper: a towering mug of whipped cream, caramel and raspberry syrup and chocolate flakes, all topped off with a bright red glace cherry.
Jasper had to assume there was coffee in there, somewhere under the sugar and cream, although there was no sign of it.
Cole buried his face in the snowman-shaped s’more cookie he had chosen. Jasper sat back in a chair next to his sister, a cup of actual coffee steaming in his hand. Well, mostly coffee. Maybe there was a bit of chocolate in it. And nutmeg. And a cinnamon stick poking out. And a big dollop of whipped cream. But hey— it was Christmas. What was he supposed to drink?
He heard Opal sigh before he felt the nudge of her telepathic voice against his mind. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, and let her in.
*What’s up, sis?*
*You know what’s up, idiot. The rest of your life, for a start.* Opal’s mental voice was as grouchy as her real one, but even that couldn’t hide the warmth and compassion behind her words. *I’m worried about you, bro. I know it’s been hard for you, but... have you really given up hope?*
Jasper set down his coffee and stared into the glowing brazier. *I don’t know what else to do, sis. If she was out there— wouldn’t she have found me by now? Wouldn’t I have found her?* He winced at the pain that lanced through his mental voice. *Maybe I’m destined to be the fun, single uncle forever. I can live with that.*
*Live with it as what, though?* Opal’s voice was gentle, but an undercurrent of concern ran through it.
Jasper went completely still.
*Jasper, tell me you’ve thought about this. What are you going to choose?*
What am I going to choose? Inside him, his dragon trembled. He reached for it, for the connection that had always been the core of his being, the place where man and dragon met— and for a moment, there was nothing.
Jasper let out his breath in a rush. Icy sweat beaded on his forehead. That felt like— just for a moment, I thought—
He gritted his teeth. Opal was right to be worried. This Christmas would be his twenty-fifth birthday. And like all Heartwell dragons, if he didn’t find his mate before he turned twenty-five, he would have to make a terrible choice.
Only a mated Heartwell could hold on to both parts of their soul. If he didn’t find his mate by Christmas, he would have to decide: to live the rest of his life as a dragon, or a man. And lose the other half of himself forever.
*Jasper...* Exasperation tinted Opal’s mental voice. *You have decided, haven’t you?*
*Of course I have,* Jasper lied. He jiggled his leg, unsettled, and then jumped up and prodded the brazier.
It was warm by the fire, but the evening was drawing in, and he shivered so hard he could almost feel his scales rattling. Or his skin goose-bumping. Either. Both. Did it really matter which, in the end? If he was going to be alone for the rest of his life, what did it matter what shape he was?
He turned away from Opal, not wanting her to see his face, and stared out across the square. Holiday shoppers drifted from shop to shop in small clusters, at least half of them trailing after scampering children. The air smelled like chocolate and coffee and spices, and was crisp with the promise of an icy night. The town lights were too bright here to see the stars, but he knew that out in the mountains, at the Heartwell lodge, they would be blazing down on the snowy peaks like fiery diamonds.
The Christmas lights shimmered and swam, and he blinked fiercely. He knew his destiny. He’d had all year for his suspicions to solidify into the grim truth that his fate was to be alone. Now all he had to do was convince Opal and the rest of his family that—
He blinked again. His gaze had drifted down from the sky as his eyes cleared, until he was staring out at the shopfront facades around the edge of the square. All the shops had gotten into the Christmas spirit, and the façades were a wonderland of fairy lights, fake snow, miniature trees and more Santas and reindeer than you could shake a candy cane at.
The shop his gaze had fallen on was even more festive than its neighbors. At ground level, everything was normal. Snowflake decals on the windows, a friendly snowman beckoning shoppers through the front door. But their rooftop display went above and beyond.
Balanced on the top of the roof, a massive Santa had dropped his sack and all the gifts were spilling out of it, cascading down the roof tiles as dozens of sparkly elves tried to catch them. The reindeer were getting in on the action— one was scarfing down a pile of cookies that had tipped out of a festive tin, and two others were fighting over a mega-sized cracker. Rudolph’s front hooves were about to slip off the side. It was a scene of glorious, festive chaos... and Jasper wasn’t seeing any of it.
Someone had propped a step-ladder against the eaves. A rotund Santa— slightly more real-looking than the giant on the roof— was holding it steady while a woman teetered on the top rung, reaching out towards the display.
Jasper froze. Inside him, his dragon uncurled like a whip, instantly alert. Jasper thought his heart would leap out of his chest. All he could hear was his pulse in his ears. He felt more alert, more alive, than he had in months.
“It’s her,” he said, the words out before his brain had finished forming them. Her. His destiny. His mate.
She was facing away from the square, but as he watched, she turned her head to call something down to the man in the Santa outfit who was holding the ladder in place. Just that glimpse of her face hit Jasper like a blow to the heart.
The woman had a small, upturned nose and large, expressive eyes. Her cheeks were pink with exertion or the cold or both, and her lips were wide and red. Light brown hair escaped from under her elf-hat to frame her face and spill down over her shoulders.
She was dressed like one of Santa’s elves, in an apple-green tunic that hugged her curves and candy-stripe stockings. Jasper couldn’t help imagining how her legs would look as she climbed back down the ladder. Her shiny red shoes looked secure on the rungs, but maybe she would need a steadying hand as she made it back down to the ground— his hand, caressing the thick curves of her calves, sliding up the backs of her thighs— all to help balance her, of course… no ulterior motives…
“Jasper?”
He heard Opal climb out of the low armchair, but he didn’t turn around. He couldn’t. He was caught, pinned in place by wonder.
“Jasper, what are you— oh.” Tentative joy bubbled into Opal’s voice. “Is she— really? Now?” She clutched at his arm. “What are you going to do?”
“Fall in love with her.”
“That’s only half the equation, Jas. She has to fall for you, too. And it’s only five days until your birthday!”
“Five days during the most wonderful time of the year,” Jasper reminded her. Certainty blazed inside him like a bonfire, burning away all the fear and resignation that had built up over the last months. “This is it, Opal, I know it. It’s all going to work out. After all, I’m a Christmas dragon. And who doesn’t like Christmas?”