I spent most of my day upstairs in my room, calling out that I was sick whenever anybody came to my door. After seeing Eric at breakfast, I had realized that I couldn’t face either one of them. I was appalled at my behavior—all of it, from the hook-up at the party to the way I had danced with both Julian and Eric and the way I’d let them touch me last night. It had been too much; I had been out of control in a way that I had never been before, and I realized that the best thing I could do would be to stay away from both of them as much as possible. I knew that I couldn’t spend every day for the rest of their visit in my room, but for now I was content to lay in bed and avoid them as best as I could.

There was a knock on my door just before dinner, a heavy pounding that came from an angry fist.

“Ella,” came Lola’s sharp voice from the other side of the door. “You open this door right now. This is my house, I—”

She cut herself off when I threw open the door, crossing my arms over my chest.

“What is it?” I asked her, knowing that I shouldn’t be so bold with her.

“Are you coming down to make dinner?” she asked.

“No,” I said flatly and shut the door in her face. I turned away from the door, my eyes going wide in surprise with myself. I hadn’t thought to lock it, and it flew open behind me as my stepmother stormed in.

“I will not have you taking advantage of me any longer,” she said when I turned to look at her. I laughed dryly, unable to even process the absurdity of the words I was hearing.

“How am I taking advantage of you, Lola?” I asked her.

“You’ve been up in this room all day. Your grandmother’s care costs half my fortune and I let her stay here for free. I expect you to work around the house when you can.”

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose with my finger and thumb.

“I didn’t feel good today, okay?” I said to her. “I’m sorry. I’ll get back to work tomorrow.”

“You’ll get down there and make dinner tonight. You’re obviously not sick, you’re just lazy.”

“I am not going downstairs tonight.”

Her eyes narrowed into slits. “You ungrateful—”

“What’s going on?”

Julian appeared in the doorway, looking in at his mother as she stood close to me. Her hand was raised as if to strike me, though she had never done so before. I’d never been so rude to her before either, never stood up for myself in such a way that would make her so angry.

“I’m trying to convince Ella to come down and make dinner,” Lola said, slowly lowering her hand when Eric appeared beside Julian.

“Do you want to make dinner, Ella?” Julian asked.

“No.”

Julian looked at his mother. “She’s not making dinner,” he said flatly.

“It’s not up to you,” Lola spat. Eric stepped into the room then and toward his mother.

“Come downstairs, Mom,” he said in that patient voice of his. “I’ll make us something.”

Lola had her mouth open as if to speak and she shot me a look, one that I returned with an unwavering gaze. In that moment, I wasn’t afraid of her as I usually was. I didn’t care what she did to me. I wasn’t even thinking about my grandmother—something that I would feel guilty about later. I was only thinking about getting away from Lola.

She and Eric disappeared from my room and Julian stood there, his eyes on my face. Then he crossed the room and opened my closet, looking inside.

“What are you doing?” I asked him.

“Packing,” he said, grabbing a large bag from the bottom of the closet and thrusting it into my hands. “We’re going away for the weekend.”

“What?” I asked him, standing still, the bag hanging in my hand.

“We’re going to the lake. You and me.”

“I can’t, Julian,” I said. “My grandmother—”

“She has a nurse. I saw the number in the kitchen. She’s coming for the weekend.”

“Julian, I don’t think this is a good idea,” I said to him, biting my lip. He took the bag from my hand, looking me in the eye.

“I’m not going to touch you without your permission,” he said, studying my face. “Never.”

“I know,” I said, swallowing as he crossed the room to my dresser. He started pulling things out and putting them carefully in the bag, packing them as if they were his own things. I took the bag from him and started to pack it myself, ignoring the satisfied smile he gave me when he realized that I was agreeing to go. I knew for certain it wasn’t a good idea and yet getting out of the house sounded like the best thing for me. I tried to tell myself that I only wanted to get away, that the fact that I would be alone with Julian had nothing to do with it.

“Finish packing. I’ll meet you downstairs in a few minutes.”

“But Eric and your mother—”

“Eric is keeping her busy so we don’t have to deal with her while we’re leaving,” Julian said. I felt a surge of gratefulness wash over me.

I went and waited in the hall for a few minutes while Julian packed his own bag, then met me by the door with a smile and walked me out to his car. We put our bags in the trunk and got in. Before he started the car, he turned to look at me.

“Are you okay with this?” he asked. I nodded. I had been hesitant, but now that we were alone I felt comfortable and safe, despite the feeling that hung gaping in the air between us. The last time I had seen Julian, I had been underneath him, begging him to keep going while I fought back the urge to come. It had felt good, so good that I couldn’t stop and yet holding back my body had been one of the hardest things I had ever done. I told myself I wasn’t going to climb him again no matter how this weekend went.

“If you’re expecting this to go like it did the other night…” I said, but trailed off.

“I’m not.”

“Okay,” I said, looking down at my hands. “Where are we going?”

“Have you ever been to the lake house?”

I snorted. “Yeah, your mom used to take me there on our girls’ weekends. We got our nails done and massages.”

He grinned. “I can’t promise you I’ll do your nails, but I can certainly give you a massage if you’d like.”

I thought about that, about his hands all over my body, and squirmed in my seat.

“What are we going to do out there?”

He shrugged. “We’re going to relax. No worries. You’re not going to think about Lola. Or your grandmother.” “Oh? Do you have some way to take my mind off of those things?” I asked him, knowing it was a flirty question. I couldn’t help but fall into the pattern of insinuation with him, my body always hoping that he would push it further and further until I had something to fantasize about.

“I have a few ideas,” he said, glancing over at me. “But we’ll see how the night goes.”

“I see,” I said, lifting my eyebrows at him. He shot me a smile and I had to smile back. I thought about leaving my grandmother alone and felt guilty, though I didn’t say anything to Julian about it. I had to remind myself that he had called the weekend nurse, that she would be okay for a couple of days without me.

“I should have said goodbye to my grandma,” I said, sitting up straight and looking over my shoulder down the road. “She’ll worry—she’ll wonder where I went.”

“I talked to her, actually,” Julian said. I stared at him.

“What did you say?”

“I told her I was worried about you and thought you should get out of the house.”

“And she fell for that?”

He laughed. “She agreed.”

“You used to be scared of her,” I pointed out.

“It was hard to go in there,” he admitted. “I remember when we were here before—your grandmother scared the hell out of Eric and me.”

I smiled at the thought of it. Grandma had been stern with the boys on purpose. She knew she was my only refuge from them, that she was the only one who was ever able to protect me from their cruelty.

“Was she nice to you this time?”

“Um,” he said, “for the most part.”

“What did she say?” I asked.

“I believe she told me not to act like a spoiled little prick,” he said. I laughed, covering my mouth. He was grinning as he drove. “Gotta wonder what you’ve told her about us.”

“I didn’t have to tell her anything,” I said. “Everybody knew how awful you were.”

He nodded. “Do you think that massage might make it up to you?”

“It might,” I said. We turned off onto a gravel road then that led between two rows of tall trees that shaded the entire path. We drove along it for a few minutes, circling the outer edge of a large lake until we got to the opposite side. We pulled down a road and up to a cabin, then parked and got out of the car. Julian carried our bags inside. It was a beautiful house—light and airy, all pale walls and silk curtains that were open to allow the view of the sparkling crystal lake outside.

“This is your bedroom,” he said, leading me down the hallway and into a large room that looked soft and clean.

“My bedroom?” I asked him.

“Were you expecting to share?” he asked, grinning. I met his eye, chewing my lip. Things between us were tense and raw like an open wound, unfinished. Every time I looked at him, it was as if he were still fucking me, like I was still on the very edge. I could tell he had the same thing running through his mind as well, just by the way his eyes burned into mine.

“No,” I said in a soft voice. “This is fine.”

“I’m right next door,” he said.

“Oh.” It was all I could say. How easy it would be to go over there again after we went to bed tonight, climb on top of him and ride him until I finished this time. I looked away from him, blushing furiously as I thought about it. “I’d like to take a shower.”

He gestured to a door at the edge of the room. “Your bathroom. Take your time. Dinner will be ready when you’re out.”

I nodded, meeting his eye as he stepped closer to me. I thought he would linger, and my body shook even as he moved past me and out of the room. I sat down on the edge of the bed for a moment just to catch my breath, then grabbed my things out of my bag and went into the bathroom. It was large and luxurious, with a tub big enough for two and three surrounding showerheads that sprayed from every angle. The water touched my sensitive skin like a caress, and I had to turn my back to it to keep it from touching the most sensitive parts of me. I felt like I was overheated and turned the water down to cool my skin before I got out, searching for a towel. When I didn’t find one, I sighed and called for Julian.

“What is it?” he asked from the other side of the door.

“I need a towel,” I said. I heard him chuckle. A moment later, the door opened and he strolled across the large bathroom so abruptly I didn’t have time to cover myself. I just stood there naked and watched him as he came to me, half in a dream, half imagining he would pull me against him and carry me into the bedroom. Instead, he handed me the towel with a grin on his face.

“Thanks,” I said in a small voice, wrapping it around me. The towel was warm around my body but I was still shaking as he left the bathroom and shut the door behind him. I dried off and went into my room to get dressed, then went out into the dining room, where Julian was sitting at the table. He looked me over when I appeared.

“I ordered pizza,” he said.

“Fancy.”

He laughed, staring at me as I crossed the room to him.

“Come sit on my lap, Ella.”

I gazed at him and sat across the table instead, keeping a safe distance between us.

“I can’t do what we did again,” I said. “It was really wrong—I don’t know why I did it in the first place.”

“You did it because you want me,” he said softly, holding my eye. “And you kept doing it because it felt good.”

“It did,” I agreed.

“And you want to do it again,” he said. I looked away from him. I didn’t want to show on my face how true his words were.

“It doesn’t matter,” I said. His eyes flashed.

“It does matter. You should take what you want, Ella.”

I thought about what I had told Eric about wanting them both at once. It had just slipped out of my mouth before I could think about it but I knew it was true—the whole time I was with Julian, I kept wishing Eric were there watching us, reaching in and touching me just when I needed him to. I shook my head instead of responding to his words. It was then that the doorbell rang, and Julian disappeared and then reappeared with a pizza. We sat down at the table across from each other and ate. I tried to keep my eyes to myself, tried not to let them linger on his. Every time I met his gaze I felt a heat rush through me.

“Why did you bring me out here? To get me to have sex with you?”

He frowned. “No. I brought you out here because you needed to get away from Lola.”

“You can’t keep me safe from her forever,” I pointed out. His lips pressed into a thin line.

“We’ll see.”

“So you weren’t planning to have sex with me?”

“You seem pretty hung up on this whole idea of me fucking you,” he said, grinning, “for someone who doesn’t want it.”

I didn’t respond. Instead, I made my way to the couch and sat down. He sat down next to me, though he was a few feet away.

“What do you want to do tonight?” he asked.

“You don’t have a plan?”

“No,” he said. “It’s up to you. We can play a game, if you’d like.”

“What kind of game?”

He thought for a moment. “Truth or dare.”

I snorted.

“What?” he asked. “We’re in a cabin. It’s dark outside. If you prefer, I could tell you ghost stories?”

“So tell me a ghost story then,” I said. He laughed, rubbed his hand over his mouth.

“I was hoping you wouldn’t take me up on that.”

“So basically truth or dare is my only option?”

“I guess so,” he said. His eyes were playful, lively. I knew I was going down a steep slope and yet I couldn’t seem to stop myself.

“You don’t have to do anything you’re too scared to do,” he said. I could tell he was teasing me, trying to get me to rise to the challenge.

“Okay,” I said tentatively.

“Truth or dare?” he asked me.

“Truth.”

He grinned. “How are you feeling right now, Ella?”

“I’m fine,” I said shortly, not wanting to give him the true answer—that I was beyond affected by how close he was to me, how casual his body was. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” he said.

I had to think for a moment, looking around the room to find anything that would distract me from what I really wanted to ask him. He put his finger underneath my chin and turned my face to his, looking me in the eye.

“Tell me what you want,” he said.

“I want you to kiss me,” I told him honestly. “Without touching me. I dare you.”

He smiled, dropped his hands into his lap and folded them together as he leaned his face toward mine, taking my lips in a soft, brief kiss that almost made me pout in frustration. He saw the look on my face and kissed me again, then again, his lips lingering on mine before he pulled away.

“Truth or dare?” he asked, his mouth only inches from mine.

“Dare,” I replied.

“I dare you to take that dress off.”

I stared at him, then stood up slowly and pulled the straps down and off my shoulders. The dress was loose and fell to the floor, leaving me only in my panties. I wasn’t wearing a bra, and for some reason I cupped my breasts in my hands, hiding them as I sat down. He raised his eyebrows at me but said nothing.

“Truth or dare,” I asked him, looking into his eyes. I felt shy but at the same time I felt something that was growing increasingly familiar to me, a feeling of beauty and sexiness that made me feel nearly uninhibited.

“Truth,” he responded, his voice sounding dry.

“What did you think the first time you saw me again?”

“I thought you were beautiful,” he said. “I regretted every moment that I had been away from you.”

My breath caught in my chest. I had been expecting something less than that, something perhaps about my body.

“Kiss me again,” I said to him. “No hands.”

He did as I asked, though he hadn’t requested a dare. His mouth on mine was hungrier this time and I could tell that he was growing frustrated.

“Drop your hands,” he said. “I want to see you.”

I shook my head but he took my hands in his, pulling them away to reveal my breasts to him. I allowed him to look at them, to cup them in his hands. He pressed me backward so that he could lower his head to take one of my nipples between his lips, sucking on it tenderly.

“I was so fucking jealous when Eric said he got to do this,” he said in a gruff voice, increasing the pressure of his lips around the hard, sensitive bud. I imagined them talking about what they’d done to me and blushed red, though the thought of it made me gush wet in my panties for reasons I didn’t understand. Julian switched to the other breast and sucked on that nipple as he had the first one, teasing it with his tongue in a way that shot sensations of pleasure throughout my body.

“Whose turn is it?” I asked him breathlessly as he began to plant kisses down my body. He hooked his fingers under my panties and I let him pull them down, completely lost to lust. I had to have him, and I didn’t know if I would be able to hold myself back from coming this time.

“My turn,” he said, pressing a kiss to the lips of my pussy. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Do you want me to lick your pussy?”

“I don’t—I don’t think you should. It’s too intimate,” I said, though the feeling of his lips brushing against my folds was enough to drive me crazy. He pressed the flat of his tongue against my lower lips then and teased me with the tip, parting them so that he just barely licked my clit. I took a deep breath, about to tell him to continue, but he nodded and pulled his mouth away, kissing the inside of my thigh. I was soaked and I knew that he could tell. He licked his lips, then lowered his face to kiss me. I tasted myself on his tongue, a taste that was unfamiliar but sweet to me at the same time.

“Truth or dare,” I asked him, his lips against mine.

“Dare,” he nearly growled.

“I dare you to fuck me.”

He grinned against my mouth, shedding himself of his clothes within seconds and climbing on top of me on the couch. I felt his cock hard against my thigh and wrapped my hand around it, guiding it inside my needy pussy. He began to grind in and out the moment he filled me with his length, wrapping one of my legs over his hips.

“Please let me make you come this time,” he said. “I don’t think—I don’t think I’ll be able to stop myself.”

I nodded as he kissed my neck, speeding his hips up. He seemed to be fucking me desperately, and I knew just how he felt. Every moment since the last time we’d touched had been foreplay leading up to this. I rode my hips against him from below, taking him deep within me as I moaned.

It was then that the front door opened and I sat up, looking to see Eric standing in the doorway. Julian was still fucking me, his face buried in my neck. He hadn’t even glanced up when the door had opened. My lips were parted in a moan when I met Eric’s eye. There was a smile on his face as he watched us, scraping his teeth over his bottom lip. I pulled away from Julian, who started to plant kisses on my breasts and belly.

“It’s okay to want this,” he said, stroking my thighs with his hands. “It’s okay to want him here.”

I stared at Eric as he approached us, sitting down in the chair across from the couch. I turned my face to kiss Julian, feeling flushed and hot and suddenly shy. Julian helped by moving his body over mine so that he slid his cock inside of me again and began to rock in and out. I gazed into Eric’s eyes as Julian fucked me.

“How’s her pussy feel?” Eric asked. I blushed again, whimpering as Julian’s body moved more forcefully. “I cannot even begin to describe it to you,” Julian breathed. “It is fucking heaven.”

“I bet,” Eric said, his hand over his mouth as he stared at us, watching my breasts bounce as Julian rocked my body back and forth.

“I dare you to let him kiss you,” Julian said, nuzzling my neck. “Just a kiss, angel.”

I nodded, looking over at Eric and biting my lip. He crossed the room to us and knelt down beside the couch, taking my mouth in a kiss that was fierce but tentative, as if he didn’t want to move too quickly. His tenderness turned me on just as much as the roughness of Julian’s hips. Julian was watching Eric and me kiss, his hips growing more out of control. He pulled out of me after a moment, taking a deep breath. He turned my face to his and kissed me.

“Are you going to let Eric fuck you, Ella?” he asked. “You gonna let my brother do that?”

“Yes,” I said, because I wanted nothing more. I watched as Eric took his clothes off then. Julian climbed off of me and helped me up.

“We’re going to the bed,” he explained, and both Eric and I followed him into my bedroom, where he pulled me to the bed. Eric pulled me onto his lap so that my chest was pressed to his and I was straddling his hips, his long cock pressed against my pussy, which wanted nothing more than to rub against him.

“Look at me, Ella,” he said, and I met his eye as he lowered my hips so that he was pressing his cock inside of me, sliding deep into my pussy. “I want you to go slow for me.”

It was hard, but I obediently started to rock my hips slowly on top of him, riding his cock as I had his brother’s the night before. Julian was lying in bed next to us, propped up on his elbow and watching as Eric raised his hips against mine in a languid, easy manner, one that was different from his brother’s roughness. Eric was taking his time, enjoying every bit of my pussy, and it was just as sexy as when Julian lost control and had to fuck me rough. I bounced my hips on his, finding a perfect spot inside of me, one that made me moan uncontrollably. I felt Julian’s hands on my shoulders as he pulled me backward so that I was lying down, then lowered his mouth to suck on my nipples as Eric fucked me from below.

“Is this what you wanted?” Eric asked. I nodded, whimpering as he hit the back of my pussy with one of his upward strokes. I wanted more, wanted to be touching them at the same time. I reached down to stroke Julian’s cock with my fingertips as I rode Eric, no longer feeling embarrassed or shy. I felt nothing but desire as Julian moved closer so that I could wrap my hand around his cock while he sucked on my nipples.

I climbed off of Eric then, looking at him shyly as I crawled into the position I wanted him in. I had never felt this wanton or wild, never thought that this was something that I wanted, but having them both felt right and perfect. I was on all fours on the bed, facing Julian as Eric positioned himself behind me. He began to stroke my clit with his fingers, and as he did so I lowered my face to nuzzle the length of Julian’s cock. I took the head of it into my mouth as Eric started to rock in and out of me from behind, fucking me deep and hard.

“Her pussy is so fucking perfect,” Eric said, agreeing with Julian’s earlier sentiment. “So tight.”

I moaned at his words, throwing my hips back against Eric as I lowered my face to take more of Julian’s cock into my mouth. I sucked on him playfully, licking and teasing him as I got fucked. Eric reached around me to rub my clit with his fingertips and I moaned, vibrating Julian’s cock with my mouth as I came and bucked backward. I didn’t feel ashamed of it, didn’t feel dirty or wrong. Eric continued to fuck me but had slowed down and was pumping in and out of me in shallow strokes. I could feel him breathing raggedly, could feel, too, Julian’s cock throbbing in my mouth. I started to suck him harder until he told me he was going to come, his hips lifting against my mouth as he released on the back of my tongue.

I swallowed as Eric began to speed up behind me, then pulled his cock out and spilled on my back. I collapsed forward, my face in Julian’s lap as Eric disappeared and then came back with a wet, warm washcloth to clean my back with. I lay on my back with one of them on either side of me, both looking down at my face and my body with adoring eyes. Julian’s fingers traced my breasts and Eric kissed my forehead softly.

“How are you feeling?” Julian asked.

“I’m—I’m good,” I said, smiling. My body was satisfied, though it seemed like there was always room for more.

“You really are an angel,” he said, lowering his face to kiss me. Eric nodded his head in agreement.

“Ella,” Eric said, looking down into my face. “You have to know how sorry we are about before, when we were kids.”

I stared at him, knowing what he was saying was true. It still hurt to think of the way they had treated me but since they’d come back they had been kind and generous, gentle and sweet with me even when I was being difficult.

“I know,” I said. “And I forgive you.”

“Do you?” asked Julian. I nodded and he smiled, nuzzling my neck. We lay there together until their body heat started to affect me again, started to make me feel like I needed more than just touching. They both fucked me all over again until the three of us fell asleep in bed, each of them cuddling me from either side.

The next morning I woke up feeling dazed, at first confused by the fact that I was in bed with two naked men, each of whom had an arm slung around my waist. It took me a moment to realize who they were, what we had done. A feeling of panic rose in my chest when I thought about what I’d done, and I scrambled out of bed as quickly as I could. I felt ashamed, completely confused by the way I had acted. I didn’t even have the excuse of alcohol this time.

“What’s going on, Ella?” Julian asked, both of them awake and sitting up in bed.

“I—I have to go,” I said, then remembered that I had driven with Julian. “Somebody needs to take me back. I can’t do this.”

“Ella—”

“Stop,” I said, looking over at both of them. “Just stop. Take me home now.”

I saw Julian nod as a look of sadness passed over Eric’s face. They both got out of bed and got dressed in silence, then Julian and I made our way back to his car. It was quiet on the drive home, but when we pulled up the driveway he turned to me.

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” he said. I didn’t look at him, but got out of the car and went inside. I was relieved that I didn’t see Lola as I made my way to my room to change, then went outside to the garden. I sat on the bench overlooking the pond there. I heard Eric pull up and turned to look over my shoulder at him, but he didn’t meet my eye as he went inside. I assumed he was hurt, that I had caused him pain by rejecting them in my regret this morning. I hated the thought of that but I couldn’t help it—I was mortified by what I had done, what I had allowed myself to do.

“Miss?” came a voice behind me. I turned to see a familiar man standing on the path at the edge of the garden. I immediately recognized him as the man at the party, the one I had hooked up with in a few quick minutes on his desk. I flushed red when I saw him.

“Ella,” he said as he approached me, a charming grin on his face. “I was beginning to think I’d never find you.”

“You were looking for me?” I asked, puzzled. I hadn’t even told him my name. I had thought that was the last thing he would be interested in after I’d given myself to him so quickly. I had always been told that you had to make a man wait in order to keep his attention, and I figured that to be true with this man.

“I was,” he said. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you after the party. I kept kicking myself for not even getting your name.”

“How did you find me?” I asked him. “And who are you?”

“I’m Xavier Hayes,” he said, reaching out his hand to shake mine. “I went through a lot of resources to find you. I didn’t know who your brothers were, but I’m familiar with both of them.”

“Oh,” I said, trying not to blush when he called Eric and Julian my brothers. I had to remind myself that they weren’t—they were my stepbrothers, and I hadn’t even seen them in ten years.

“I hope I’m not coming off as creepy,” he said. “I just—I’m not usually one to hook up at parties, and I thought that you were interesting.”

I raised my eyebrows. “You thought I was interesting?”

He laughed. “Yes. You’re so lively,” he said. He reached forward to touch my cheek then and I let him, though I barely knew him. Somehow it seemed like after what we’d done together, he was allowed to be intimate with me. It didn’t feel like being touched by a stranger, but by someone who knew my body already.

“So what did you track me down for?” I asked him.

“A date,” he said. “I wanted to ask you on a date.”

I stared at him, for a moment not taking in what he meant. I had only been asked on a date before a couple of times in my life and never by anybody as handsome and charming as Xavier was.

“A date? With you?”

He nodded, grinning.

“Okay,” I said, pushing thoughts of Eric and Julian out of my mind. “Yes.”

“Tomorrow,” Xavier said, pushing a strand of hair out of my face. “I’ll pick you up here at eight.”

I nodded at him, unable to speak as I watched him walk away. The whole thing seemed like a dream, one that was doubly confusing given the night I’d just had with my stepbrothers. Part of the reason I had agreed to go out with Xavier was so that I could get Eric and Julian out of my head. Not only were their bodies distracting me, but their kindness, the way they had treated me since they’d gotten back.

I shook my head and went back inside, spending the day cleaning and avoiding Julian and Eric. By the time I went to bed, I still hadn’t seen them—they had gone out for dinner. I was glad for that and wondered how I would face them the next time I was unable to avoid them.