It’s not her fault.
It’s not her fault.
It’s not her fault.
But it is.
“Undress.” My demand is cold and unyielding.
She meets my glare with defiance. “No.”
Rage rushes through my veins and it takes everything in me not to pounce. Even with my sudden change of attitude, my toy stays strong. She’s resilient. A chameleon. Ever changing to adapt to the storms of life.
“Bunny, you have five seconds to get naked and bend over that bed. I think your ass needs a good whipping so you can remember you’re just a paid whore,” I sneer. “Nothing more.”
Her face falls and my chest squeezes. Jessica rattles the ground I stand on. She fucks with my head. And tonight with her and Dad together, I started losing it. My mind decided to unravel—this woman is holding the thread and running with it. I need to get this shit into a form I can manage. Her as my toy is something I can control. It leaves me with an outcome I can understand.
“Five,” I bellow and she jumps.
Her fingers find the bottom of her shirt and she tugs it off. Underneath is a pink bra that houses her gorgeous tits. This bra is a fucking winner as it makes her breasts seem at least a cup larger. Dragging my eyes from them, I cross my arms over my bare chest and raise an expectant brow.
“Four.”
She flips me off and then reaches behind her to undo the bra. It falls to the floor in front of her. I want to mark up her swollen tits with my teeth. Jesus, I’ve missed her body. My rock hard façade of anger begins to crack as desire seeps in.
“Three.” This time, a hungry growl.
She shimmies out of her jeans, dragging her panties down with them. As she bares herself to me, I momentarily forget what it is I want to do to her.
All I can think about is her.
Her.
Her.
“Two,” she taunts.
I stalk over to her and my hand clutches around her throat. “One.”
I’d wanted to spank her but now I just want inside of her. She yelps when I push her against the wall. Our heated eyes meet briefly before I smash my lips to hers. I slip my hands to her ass and lift her. She moans into my mouth and wraps her legs around my hips. The second I push into her tight heat, she screams.
The scream isn’t from pain.
Or pleasure.
Her scream is at me.
For putting her through this. All of it.
I’m losing the battle with her. She owns me no matter how hard I try to reverse the roles and put her in her place. I am every bit as addicted to her as she was to the heroin not that long ago. Her nails dig into my shoulders and it draws me out of my trance.
My eyes find her teary ones and I expect to see the hate I deserve.
“Don’t stop, Brax,” she begs as my mouth hovers over hers. “Don’t ever stop.”
Heat rushes down my body and my cock feels as if it might explode at any second with my release.
“I’ll never stop, Jess.”
My words cause her body to shudder and for a moment I think she’s crying. But I soon realize she’s coming without abandon. The moment her pussy constricts around me, I lose it and my seed rushes into her.
I pound and pound into her until she grows heavy in my arms. When I slide out of her and set her to her feet, her features crumble and her head falls in her hands. Out of nowhere she slaps me across the fucking face.
“You stupid, stupid bastard!”
I’m too damn astounded to do anything but gape at her. But as she starts snatching up her clothes, I break free from my mental hold and leap into action.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I roar and snatch her bicep.
She tries to wriggle free but I clutch her tighter. “I’m leaving.”
I blink at her in confusion. “But we just had sex.”
The laugh that rips from her is dark and sinister. “That’s exactly why I’m leaving.”
“This makes no fucking sense, Jessica!”
She pokes me in my chest. Her glare is furious and her chest heaves with each breath she takes. “We make no sense, Braxton.”
I snatch her wrist and yank her to me. She starts to fight me but I hold her against my body. My heart is pounding out of my chest and I begin to freak the fuck out. If she leaves me, I won’t be able to deal with it. I’ve already let her inside my head and I don’t ever want her out.
“Talk to me, baby,” I murmur against her hair.
“I don’t need your money.”
I groan. “I don’t give a damn about the money. I care about you.”
She lifts her head and stares up at me, the fire long since gone. All that remains are her tears. “Do you?”
I was a fucking coward to react the way I did tonight. When she asked Dad about my mother, I snapped. All progress we’d made took a flying leap out the window and I craved to hurt her. To remind her of her place. To fucking punish her for being a drug addicted whore like Mama. But as soon as the rage exploded, it’d just as soon died. Truth is, I don’t want to hurt her. I just want her.
I know she needs an explanation but I don’t fucking have one. The reason is that she twists the threads of my already fucked up head into a complicated tangle where she tugs the strings and controls the mess that is my heart.
“Brax?” The lift of her chin in the air is a sign of bravery on her part. She’s not letting me off the hook so easily.
Releasing her, I slip my fingers into her hair and kiss her sweet mouth hoping to distract her from words that I can’t seem to find the strength to voice. When I break free of her, tears swim in her eyes and her bottom lip quivers wildly. I grab hold of her hand and tug her with me toward the fireplace, snatching our blanket along the way. As if we’ve done it a thousand times before, we sit on the edge of the rug and I wrap us in the blanket.
“Brax, please.”
I wrap her up in my arms, and hold her to me. “I’m sorry, Bunny. So fucking sorry.”
She nods but doesn’t speak.
“It’s just . . .” I trail off. “It’s just hard talking about her, okay? I found her cold, dead body. She’d died of a drug overdose and I was alone at fourteen. If it weren’t for my dad, I would be nothing. Fucking nothing.”
I squeeze her to me and inhale her clean scent. This is one of those moments I want to pause. One of our moments that only make sense right here on this rug.
“I’m a mess, clearly. I mean, I buy women to use as my toys for Christ’s sake. My head is fucked up, baby. And you only seem to fuck it up more. But the thought of giving you up soon—it guts me.”
She sniffles. “Braxton, stop shutting me out. Every time we make progress as a real couple, you get lost inside of your damn head. Part of me wants to work on this—to fight for something tangible—something that will outlast my stay here. The other part of me wants to run for the hills and never look back. I’m okay with you humiliating me, degrading me even, if it’s what gets you off. If it’s what you need. You know I enjoy it too. But I demand your respect and your honesty. And that,” she says motioning upstairs, “that was neither of those things.”
My mind reels. She wants answers I don’t have to give. I bury my nose into her hair and inhale her—all sweet and vanilla. Her scent works to soothe the inner aching parts of me. Pressing a soft kiss to her shoulder, I attempt to harness the strength in her and give her some sort of explanation.
“Ever since Mama died, I like control. Having grown up in a world where I starved and never felt warm enough, I need it. I need to be able to know that every single aspect of my life yields to my demand. That I can mold it to my liking. It soothes an ache that never truly goes away.”
She remains quiet for a moment but lifts a hand and strokes my cheek as if to thank me for my words. Then, she turns in my arms and straddles my lap. Our blanket falls to a heap around us. “Let me see your hand,” she whispers.
My brows pinch together in confusion but I offer it to her. With shaking fingers, she guides it down her belly and for a moment I think she wants me to get her off. Instead, she veers off to the right near her hip bone and makes me touch the flesh there.
“Do you feel that?” Her voice quivers.
A small ridge under my fingertip.
“Yeah. A scar?”
She drops her forehead to mine and gives it a sad shake. “A stretchmark.”
My fingers continue to feel her skin and I probe both hips with each hand. I can feel them. Small, insignificant. Unnoticeable.
“Her name was Grace.”
A chill washes over me and my chest feels as though it’s being split open. The doctor back in London had mentioned a possible pregnancy and now it has been confirmed.
“She was my baby. I loved her, Brax, even though I never got to know her.”
“What happened?”
A cry chokes out of her and I hug her to me. Her face presses against the side of my cheek and her lips find my ears. “T-T-The stairs. The b-b-blood,” she stammers with a whisper.
“Jesus, Jess, I’m so fucking sorry.”
A haunted howl rips from her as she lets loose the agony buried deep inside of her. It’s raw and dark and unfiltered, as if it’s the only time it’s ever been released. She begins slapping at me, anger exploding from her. Her hits are nothing to me but everything to her.
Over and over and over again.
I let her expel the rage at having lost her child. It seems like only yesterday that Richard bore the brunt of my own explosive anger. And he endured every single hit just as I am now.
That’s what you do for love.
Love.
Shit.
When her hits weaken, I flip her over onto her back. In front of the fire, I cover her with my warmth and kisses. Soon, her cries become pleas and I tend to her needs. My cock slides into her as if it knows its own way and I make love to her. One thrust at a time.
“I love you, Jessica Kennedy.”
The last of her broken heart shatters and she stammers out words that heal a part of my soul I never knew was wounded.
“I love you too. But don’t you dare treat me like that again.”
She cries out in ecstasy and I throb out my release into her. My healing soul once again bleeds at her words. I don’t even bother replying because we both know I can’t keep that promise.
“Sir,” Dubois says from my office doorway, “may I have a word?”
I stretch back in my chair and nod. It distracts me from how I professed my love to Jess last night. What the fuck was I thinking? “Of course.”
He strolls in wearing a frown and sits across from me. “We have a problem.”
Jerking back upright, I glare at him. “Trevor?”
“Most likely,” he says with a sigh. “I’m sorry but . . . someone hurt Glenna.”
I frown at him in confusion. “What?”
“They found her body—an apparent overdose on prescription meds, but Jamal found a note in her office. Instead of notifying the police, he called me last night while you were in your quarters with the toy.”
Snatching up my stapler, I growl and then sling it across the room. It hits a frame which then crashes to the floor. “Her name is Jessica.”
He seems startled by my outburst but quickly continues. “Anyway, the note said: One bitch down and two bitches to go. Hit him where it hurts. The bitches make him weak.”
What in the ever loving fuck?
“You’re kidding me!” I roar. “You’ve got to be fucking shitting me!”
I’m already out of my chair and am pacing the office, dragging my fingertips through my hair.
“We have options.”
I snap my gaze over to him. “Is that so? What sort of fucking options besides killing that fucker do we have?”
Dubois seems unfazed. Another reason why I hired him long ago. Where I let my emotions rule me, he uses logic.
“We could go to the police,” he says, his voice unaffected, “but I don’t really think you want them peeling off the lid of your personal affairs.”
Not a fucking option.
“Or?”
“We could call his bluff. But that may not be the smartest option considering he’s already been through Glenna.”
I scrub my cheeks with my palms in frustration. Two to go. Does that mean Christine and Jessica are at risk? The thought causes my belly to drop. “Option three?”
He shrugs. “Let me take care of things.”
Nodding, I stand. “I’ll pack a bag and we can leave by—”
Dubois stops me with a raised hand. “Sir, with all due respect, I believe it is in your best interest to not get involved. It was an entirely different story with Corgy because we weren’t in our country. However, Trevor knows people, including the workings of your company. I fear he’ll be waiting for this and will only succeed if you land in his lap.”
I start to pace the room. “What am I supposed to do? Sit here and hope he doesn’t fuck any more shit up?”
He folds his hands together and pins me with a serious stare. “Sir, you’re supposed to protect Christine and Jessica.”
When it rounds noon and I haven’t seen Jessica, my stomach grows uneasy. What sort of asshole tells a woman who makes him insane that he loves her the night before and then hides like a fucking pussy the next morning?
This asshole.
I stand and stretch before stalking out of my office. She’s nowhere to be found but I can hear Christine rooting around in the kitchen. My mind reels with all that’s evolved in the past twelve hours. I’d told Jess I loved her. Glenna “overdosed” on pills. And Dad now lives with me. A few months ago, I was alone aside from my three household employees. It was quiet and normal.
Now, it’s chaotic and stressful.
If I’m being honest, it’s also happy. So fucking happy.
I punch in the numbers for my suite and immediately leave when I don’t see her. My heartrate picks up as I go to the top floor. But neither she nor Dad are up there.
Where the fuck are they?
Trevor.
A sick feeling washes over me. If he really wanted to hurt me, all it would take was doing something to the only two people on this earth I love.
I do love her.
Despite my natural desire to deny it, I know I can’t fool myself. I belong to her and she belongs to me. The moment is as clear as day, just like the moment my dad came and fetched me from New York. There was no question. Only answers. I was his—end of story.
The second floor yields nothing and I’m about three seconds from having a goddamned panic attack. When the doors open to the basement, laughter fills my ears—her laughter—and I sigh in relief.
“Oh, stop whining you grumpy old man,” Jessica chides and splashes water at my dad. They’re both in the pool and for a moment I watch them.
“We’ve been swimming for an hour, little lady. I think I’ve had enough exercise for the day,” he pouts.
I bite on my bottom lip to keep from laughing. She’s wearing a sexy turquoise bathing suit and her dark hair is twisted into a neat bun on her head making her look like a water fairy or a goddess.
“It’s been thirty minutes and you said the doctor’s advice was to exercise. I know Brax doesn’t want to lose you to a heart attack anytime soon.”
He groans and starts swimming again. Her face lights up, shining with smug pride at having won. When Dad reaches the end of the pool, he looks up and sees me.
“Braxxy, help. Your woman is crazy,” he gripes, but I don’t miss the humor in his voice.
I walk over to the edge and squat. “Tell me something I don’t know.”
“Hey!” she scoffs as she makes her way over to us until she’s waist deep in the shallower end by the ledge. “You look stressed. Can I have a kiss?”
Her face is scrubbed free of makeup and her wide green eyes are blinking innocently at me. She’s so damn beautiful. Of course I’ll give her a fucking kiss. I’ll give her the whole goddamned world.
She reaches for me, once she’s close, and presses a wet kiss on my lips. Her fingers thread behind my neck and as I deepen my kiss, she pulls me hard. I lose my footing and splash into the water on top of her. The little vixen tugs me under and I can hear my dad laughing above the surface. We both emerge and I run both palms over my eyes to wipe the droplets away.
“You’re so going down, woman,” I gripe as I start to shed my now heavy-ass jacket.
She squeals and swims to the other end of the pool where it’s deep to escape me. She’ll never escape me.
“Perfect timing, son. I’m going to go hustle Christine for something to eat,” Dad says with a mischievous grin as he climbs out. “Maybe I can sweet talk some bacon out of her.”
I chuckle and shake my head at him before turning my attention back to her.
“It was an accident,” Jessica calls out, her palms up in a defensive move.
I narrow my gaze at her as I toss my soaked jacket over to the edge. The tie and shirt get peeled off next. My shoes have fallen off already—Italian leather ruined in an instant. I never take my eyes from her as I fumble out of my pants, socks, and boxers. Dad is long since escaped—understanding the inevitable.
“My turn for a kiss.” My voice is low and gravelly as I inch my way toward her.
She’s grinning but has a healthy fear of what I’ll do next. “Maybe I don’t want to kiss you. You left me all alone all morning.”
“I had work to do. Plus, you were sleeping.” I watch her swim out into the deeper water away from the edge as I slowly make my way over to her. My mind craves to stay lost down here with Jess in our secret wet world where psychos aren’t threatening the people I care about or murdering my employees. If I can silence my mind even for a few minutes to the stresses that have recently shattered my world, then I’m going to snatch that opportunity. Because the moment I go back upstairs, the hits that don’t seem to quit coming will once again continue their battery.
“Still, you could have—”
Her words are cut off as I dive under the water. I open my eyes, ignoring the burn of the chlorine and dart toward her dangling legs that are now swimming back toward the edge. I’m quicker than her though and grab an ankle. Her scream can be heard above the water as I drag her under. My fingers tug at the strings of the swimsuit bottoms as I pull her body to mine. Bubbles flutter from her nose as she stares at me. I splay my fingertips over her ass and she’s no longer fighting as she attaches herself to me. My cock’s not fully hard yet but having this half naked minx wrapped around me under water is definitely exciting me.
My chest burns for air, so I graze my lips over hers as I thrust us up toward the surface. As soon as we take that first breath, our mouths connect in a greedy way. I dive my tongue into her mouth and kiss her with a fury I can’t explain. I just fucking need her. Now.
“Mmm,” she moans as I swim us toward the edge with her in my arms.
I’m fully erect now. The moment I push her against the tiled wall of the pool, I’m able to drive my thickness into her pussy. Grabbing onto the ledge, I let her hold on to me so I can focus on fucking her.
And boy do we fuck.
Her fingers rip at my hair and scratch at my flesh as I take her. I manage to yank on the strings of her top and soon she’s fully nude.
“Oh, God,” I grunt into her mouth as her tits press against my chest. “I fucking missed you.”
She whimpers and her body begins to shudder in pleasure. “I missed you too.”
My name becomes a chant on her lips as she climaxes. A few more thrusts and I’m coming with her, with an intensity I can’t explain.
Of all the toys I’ve had, sex has never been like it is with Jessica.
With her, my mind and heart orgasm too. It’s euphoric and unexplainable. And it’s ruined me for any other woman.
It will always be her.