I pull up to the store and see a large van parked in the back with the words Amish Puppies Direct on it.

What the fuck? I didn’t order any more puppies.

Avril and Eden are animatedly talking to some tall Amish dude, but Yessi is nowhere to be found.

“What’s going on here? I’m Preston Evans, the owner of the store. Who are you?”

He shakes my hand. “Wie bischt? Mei naame iss Jedidiah Lapp from Amish Puppies Direct. I have them de hunde you ordered.”

My head hurts from confusion, but I recognize the word hunde from the Marine Corps—teufel hunden was a term that Germans called the Marines during World War I. “I didn’t order any puppies.”

“Sir, I have an order from you here.”

He shows me a wrinkled order form with an order for twenty puppies of various breeds and my signature at the bottom. This doesn’t make any sense.

“That’s my signature, but I didn’t sign it.”

“I spoke with you two weeks ago. We picked out the puppies, and then you finalized the order last week.”

I frown. “I’ve never spoken to you.” But clearly, he spoke to someone else. Someone else posing as me.

And that person could only be Hugh.

Just then, Hugh walks into the store with a huge smirk on his face. Speak of the devil.

He saunters over to me and pats me on the back condescendingly. “You can thank me later, Evans. I just saved your store from this rescue bullshit.”

Oh hell no. I run up to him and slam him against the wall.

“What did you do, you motherfucker? Did you leak that sex tape of Yessi and me? Of Kira and me? Did you dump Gidget in the night drop? Did you order these puppies? Answer me, dammit.”

“Yeah, I fucking did. I made you, asshole. Before the sex tape with Kira, you were nothing. You keep falling in love with these hot chicks, and once you get high on their pussies, you can’t think straight. Have you seen Doggy Style’s online reviews? We’ve already been slammed by so many customers. People want purebreds, not mangy mutts like that stupid dog Gidget. She bit me, so I dumped her. Now tell these two bitches to leave the store, and we can get back to business.”

I clench my fist and sock him in the jaw. “I’m calling the cops on you. I’ve been making excuses for your ass for years. I’m done.”

“Whatever, dude. You’ll get over it. Your business will be destroyed without me. I doubt these rescue chicks can bail you out.”

Fuck. I do need to increase revenue. But I’d rather have no business than work with this guy one second longer. “You’re dead to me.”

“Whatever, Evans. You’ll come crawling back. I’ll check in with you later, once Yessi leaves your sorry ass. I’ll be in touch.” He walks out of the store. I’m tempted to run after him and give him a proper beatdown but decide it’ll be best to let the authorities handle it.

I need to find Yessi. Avril and Eden are staring at me, both seemingly shocked.

“Where’s Yessi?”

“She left,” Avril says. “You’re a good man, Evans. I believe you about the puppies. But what are we going to do now? We can’t send them back. They’ll be resold.”

“I agree. We can fix them like we did the others and then adopt them out. At least they won’t be bred.”

Eden is playing with the black pug puppy. “Yeah. We have to keep them—especially this one. But from now on, no more puppies.”

“Well, I don’t think there’ll be any dogs from now on. I need to make more money, or I’ll have to close. I can’t operate at a loss.” Both Eden and Avril look glum.

Jedidiah clears his throat. “So, you want the puppies or not?”

I give up. “We’ll keep them. Hey, why are you driving a van? I thought it was against your religion.”

“It is. But I’m on Rumspringa. I haven’t been baptized by the church yet. I’m just helping out my pop.”

Avril’s eyes grow wide. “Rumspringa? So, you can fuck?”

Jedidiah smiles. “Most definitely. Let’s go now.”

Eden just shakes her head. “Jesus, Avril. He’s a fucking puppy breeder.”

“Yeah, but he’s hot. Hey, I mean, Yessi fucked Preston. He was opening a puppy store. If she converted him, I could convert Jedidiah.”

I laugh. “Man, you’re all nuts. Jedidiah, how much do I owe you?”

He tells me, and I pay him.

“Ladies, can you handle the store and the puppies? I need to find Yessi.”

Avril is still fawning over Jedidiah. “Of course. Maybe Jedidiah can hang around for a few nights and help me out with all these de hunde.”

He tips his hat. “I’d like that.”

Eden throws her hands up in defeat. “Am I the only sane person left here?”

“Yup,” I say. “I’m going to go find Yessi.”

I get in my truck and call Yessi. It goes straight to voicemail. I keep calling and calling, but she won’t answer. Where is she?

I check her Instagram next, praying for a sign. Nothing.

I think. Where could she be? And then it comes to me.

I race down the freeway and exit at the animal shelter.