On earth - Cloverleah

Marius ran as close to the boundaries as he dared. The magic from the wards surrounding their territory prickled his fur and gave him the urge to sit and scratch. The half-moon cast a pale silver glow over the grass and trees. If it wasn’t for the wards, Marius could imagine himself running anywhere. Keeping his footfalls silent, he dutifully held his nose just above the ground. Not that there’s anything to find, he grumped to himself.

Living under a constant threat of danger was enough to drive anyone stir-crazy. The situation in Cloverleah was made worse by the fact there hadn’t been an attack against the pack in months. But after Raff’s ex-home pack completely disappeared, Alpha Kane was taking no chances and ordered everyone to go out in pairs, and he resumed the patrol roster again.

Marius didn’t have a problem following orders. He’d grown up being trained as a killer and he lived and worked with his brothers for years as a mercenary before his oldest brother Adair decided they should join Cloverleah. And yeah, that worked out perfectly for him and Teilo. He found his mate and Teilo found two. And what have I got? Sore feet from constant patrolling. Sometimes it wasn’t easy being the youngest brother especially when he was the one running patrols.

Trudging up a slight incline, Marius shifted into his human form. It wasn’t something he was supposed to do while on patrol but Marius wanted to spend just five minutes taking in the view. The evening breeze was warm on his skin and he stretched out on the grass, staring at a seemingly unbroken landscape. It was all a ruse of course. The wards hid the true landscape, although from where Marius was lying, he was fairly sure there was only woodland beyond. Even in human form, the invisible wards made his hair crackle. It was a peaceful scene, even if it was ward induced and Marius needed time to think.

Tapping his fingers on his thigh, Marius tried to work out why he was so agitated. Lack of sleep wasn’t helping. Since Teilo moved out of the enforcer house and into a private cottage with Nereus and Raff, Marius’s nightmares had returned and even now, resting in a safe environment, he felt the urge to dash through the wards and run. He hadn’t realized how much he’d depended on Adair and Teilo, his two older brothers, until they’d found their mates and stopped having time for him. Without them, he felt rudderless and while he knew either one of his brothers would be there for him if he asked, he couldn’t do that either.

Yeah, because you’re useless and weak. Marius banged his fists on the ground as his main problem raised its ugly head again. No sleep. No one to hold when he woke up in a cold sweat; Marius’s day time hours were spent trying to ignore his father’s voice. Every memory he had of his father involved a put down or beating of some description and while it was more than sixty years ago, when he was tired, Marius struggled with his sanity.

“You’re not sleeping on the job, are you?” Marius jolted and looked over to see Thomas, one of the other enforcers and his patrol partner for the evening, climbing up to meet him.

“It’s too hot to sleep and besides, we’ve still got the western quadrant to finish in the next hour.” Marius stood and brushed the grass from his ass. Bigger than Thomas in every respect, he wasn’t self-conscious about nudity, but he hoped none of his inner turmoil showed on his face. He and Thomas had shared a…Marius wasn’t sure what he would call it; he just remembered it involved hands, mouth and they both reached a satisfactory climax. Fortunately, they’d stayed friends afterward seeing as they both lived in the enforcer’s house. “Are you about ready to shift and get back to it?”

“I’m curious why you’re lingering by the wards. It’s not the most comfortable place to be.” Thomas shivered and rubbed his arm.

After living in Cloverleah for a while, it was easy for Marius to forget his friend had been in law enforcement; hence the curious nature. “I was just admiring our cage,” he said, his words spilling out from gritted teeth. “Honestly, I have no problem with danger. Hell, I’d probably be one of the first to run towards it. But this constant waiting, worrying; being on guard and never-ending patrols. There’s no physical enemy to fight. It all feels….”

“Pointless?” Thomas arched his brow. “I hear what you’re saying, man. It’s boring as hell trailing around after your smelly ass night after night.”

“Keep your nose out of my ass.” Marius slapped his hand over the body part in question.

“I do, especially when you’ve had tacos,” Thomas grinned, and Marius remembered why he’d been attracted in the first place. Thomas had a droll sense of humor and his smile gave his handsome face an extra boost. “My point is, if something happened to the pack and you could’ve prevented it by noticing a strange scent or something while on patrol, wouldn’t you want to do that? Wouldn’t you want to be that person whose warning saved the pack?”

“Yeah, but….” Marius trailed off. He knew Thomas was right and most times he didn’t have a problem with patrolling. It was a mindless and routine job that kept his animal half happy. But something was coming. Marius could feel it in the air, yet he couldn’t say anything. For all he knew, his senses were screwed due to a lack of sleep. The last thing Marius wanted was to come across as a fool. “Ignore me and my mood. With Adair and Teilo mated now, I’m just feeling sorry for myself. It was always three of us against the world for a lot of years and I’m still adjusting.”

“I wouldn’t know what that was like. I was an only child. But being in a pack isn’t bad. Hey, the success rate for finding true mates around here is pretty high, right? It’s got to be our turn sooner or later.”

“If we’re ever allowed to go out; it’s not as though anyone’s allowed to come on our land.” Heaving a sigh, Marius prepared to shift.

“Boss man said we just can’t go out alone; it’s not as though we’re on complete lockdown. The next night you and I have off together we’ll go visit Claude’s. See if getting you laid might improve your attitude.” Thomas grinned again as he morphed into his wolf form.

A night out would be better than running endless patrols where nothing ever happens, and if I could find someone to suck my dick it might help me sleep, Marius thought as he let his wolf take over. I do wish damn Thomas would stop going on about mates though. It’s not as though my mate’s ever going to come knocking at my door which is probably for the best. He had mixed feelings about matings thanks to his brothers’ experiences. Thomas, on the other hand, couldn’t wait to find his; a dream he’d shared with Marius on more than one occasion.

Shaking out his fur, he led Thomas towards the Western quadrant. The sooner they finished patrolling, the sooner he could get home and find something to eat. Thomas’s joke reminded him he hadn’t had tacos for a while. Vassago always left something in the fridge from dinner. Maybe he’d be in luck and his favorite foods were on the menu.

/~/~/~/~/

“Have you ever had one of those dreams where you were so sure it was real, you felt weird when you woke up?” Marius asked his brother Adair a few nights later. He wasn’t on the patrol roster, but Thomas was running with Wesley so Marius decided spending his evening watching Adair and Vassago make googly eyes at each other on the porch was more fun than sitting in his room alone punching his pillow into submission while he tried to sleep. His wolf’s edginess hadn’t eased and Marius was hoping a few beers might act as a sedative for a while.

“Dreams are weird, period.” Adair took a swig of his beer. “Gods, I had one a few months ago…” he broke off and shook his head.

“Dreams are often considered messages from your subconscious,” Vassago observed as he leaned forward and grabbed another drink for himself. Sitting on Adair’s lap, his black hair flicked back off his face for once, the djinn was a pocket-sized dynamo. No one looking at him in his jeans and t-shirt, swigging beer and burping, would realize the man was one of the most powerful in the paranormal world. King of the Djinn no less, making his brother the Consort. Marius still remembered the headache he’d got trying on Adair’s new crown.

He laughed. “I must have a pretty twisted subconscious then. I swear, in this dream Teilo and Raff….” He broke off, not sure he should continue.

“Please tell me this didn’t involve our brother pregnant with eleven pups and Raff due to have five of his own? Teilo puking all over the place and….” Adair looked horrified.

Marius’s eyes widened. “Yeah, and you were there and Dean and Vassago…. You fainted if I remember correctly.” Marius pointed at his brother.

“And you guys were all worried sick because somehow everyone thought male pregnancy was contagious.” Vassago curled over cackling his head off.

“My god, you had it too? What does it mean?” That can’t be normal; surely it couldn’t be. So many people having the same dream.

“Nothing,” Adair said firmly, putting his empty bottle on the floor. “The dream means absolutely nothing. I’m sure, if you think back, you’ll find out we all ate something a bit hooky that night. Men can’t get pregnant. They never have been able to and that’s all there is to it.”

“I don’t want to burst your bubble, bro, but didn’t Kane and the others visit Claude and Poseidon just last month to welcome their new babies; the ones Poseidon gave birth to? And isn’t Nereus the son of two men, as well as his brother Lasse? In fact, from memory, all of Nereus’s brothers came from male pregnancies.” Marius internally smirked as Adair’s face went white.

“That involved gods, or at least men from the god-line,” Vassago said smoothly having recovered from his laughing fit. “Sei wasn’t aware Claude had family links to Fenrir. That’s how that happened and Nereus’s and Lasse’s other father, Abraxas, is one of the Horses of the Sun. It doesn’t happen to us normal folk.”

“You’re the king of the djinn.” Marius was getting a kick out of Adair’s face. “Are you sure you haven’t done some hocus pocus? Wiggled your fingers? Twitched your nose? Maybe redesigned my brother’s innards so he can conceive?”

“I wouldn’t do that,” Vassago snapped. “Well, at least not without talking to my lovely mate first.”

“What? No. Oh no, we’re not going there.” Adair was so flustered he found two open bottles in his hand. He swigged from them both, one after the other, and then showed his teeth. “Besides, if I remember the dream correctly, bro, it was you who ran screaming from the house claiming he’d never have a mate.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not sure I want one anyway.” Marius shuddered to think what his mate might look like. “Face it, the type of men I hookup with wouldn’t make for a fit mate with the pack under constant threat. I’m better off on my own.”

“Your mate will be the one who complements you in every way,” Vassago purred as he ran his hand over Adair’s chest. “You heard what Shawn is always saying. Our mates are the other half of our soul; they are with us for a reason. That’s why this pack has so many powers.”

“Whereas the men who sit on my dick don’t have any powers except the ability to flex their rectal muscles, and that’s the way I like it.” Marius leaned back in his chair and took another swallow from his bottle. If he wanted a fuck, he went for a twink. That way there was no mistaking who was going to top. Even when he enjoyed his session with Thomas he wouldn’t allow the man near his butt and he’d been like that with anyone who he tangled with who came close to matching him in size. His father’s influence had affected his love life from the moment he knew what his dick could do.

“I thought you had that talk with Teilo about the joys of switching when he mated?” Adair was back to his smug self now it was Marius’s turn to feel uncomfortable. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of. We all do it.”

Bastard. Should’ve known Teilo couldn’t keep his mouth shut. “It’s all about preferences, bro,” Marius managed to say without choking. “You have yours, I have mine, and if the Fates are all powerful like everyone claims they are, then they will know mine. He’ll be perfect for me, remember.”

“Or maybe you’ll be perfect for him.” Damn, Adair was as bad as he was when he was on a roll. “Maybe you’ve been chosen as some perfect bottom boy for an ancient warrior who’ll make your knees weak just to look at him.”

“And maybe it’s time for you to shut up.” Marius’s cheeks were flaming. Even though the lights weren’t on he knew Vassago and Adair could see the state of his face and he decided he’d had enough talking for one night. He stood and stretched his back. “Maybe you should be worried about condoms and birth control the next time you two hit the sack. After all, dreams are a message from the subconscious, remember.” Score and win to me, he thought as he heard Adair splutter and Vassago laugh as he sauntered into the house.

But later that night, as he tossed and turned in his bed, Marius couldn’t shut his brain down. He was worried Adair’s casually thrown joke might actually mean something. In his heart of hearts…Marius ruthlessly pushed those thoughts out of his head.

The memories flooded back in their place. The first time Marius realized he was gay he was a skinny runt, just twelve years old. It wasn’t something he ever discussed with his brothers, but he remembered feeling at the time it was something he needed to hide. At that time homosexuality was illegal. Unfortunately, he was only twelve – an age where putting something behind his back meant it was hidden.

Marius could live a million lifetimes and still recall the night his father beat him bloody for his perversions yelling all the while his unholy desire was another sign of his weakness. All he’d been doing was reading a sports magazine. Seeing page upon page of men with huge well-defined muscles called to the teenage Marius in a way he wasn’t old enough to understand. He thought himself safe in his room. He thought no one would ever know, but for years afterwards every time he made a mistake he would hear the scorn and hatred in his father’s voice. Faggot, fucking faggot. If you have to be a fucking faggot, make sure you’re the one doing the shafting.

That was sixty-odd years ago and Marius still carried the scar on his shoulder from that first beating. He’d run away that night and many times since. It never ended the torment, but in the time it took for him to be found and dragged back, Marius could dream of being anywhere else but where he lived. Eight years later, Adair came home for a visit. Incensed with the conditions Marius and Teilo had been kept in; Adair challenged and killed their father, setting them free. In the years that followed, Marius grew physically stronger, working with his brothers as mercenaries until the Reef name was enough to drive terror into the hearts of rogues all over the country. But in his heart, he was still the little boy who clung to his brothers because he didn’t dare trust anyone else.

Marius never had the guts to go against his father’s decree. While he longed for a mate to cherish him the same way he saw Adair treat Vassago and how Teilo was with his mates, there was a bigger part of him that feared it. Because, if what everyone said was true, and a mate would complement a person in every way, then Marius’s mate would be a big strong warrior – the type who’d expect him to be the bottom in their relationship. Clenching his butt muscles, Marius punched his pillow, determined to get some sleep this time.

I won’t go out, he thought as he tried to shut his brain down. I won’t go out, I won’t meet anyone and that way no one will know what a giant coward I am.