Janie
I was pregnant and freaking out.
What was I supposed to do?
It felt like my whole world was falling apart at the seams. All around me, my walls were crashing down, threatening to bury me underneath the rubble.
Feeling like I would go insane if I didn’t talk to someone, I called Mandy in desperation.
Ring… ring… ring….
But there was no answer. Of all times for her to ignore me, really, now? I paced around my living room, cell pressed to my ear. Finally, a click sounded.
“Hello?” came her breathy voice.
Finally.
“Mandy,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady.
“Yes?” Her voice was husky like she had just woken up from a long nap. “Is everything alright?”
“Are you busy tonight?”
“Busy?” She perked up a bit. “Are you actually asking to hang out? Go out and do something fun? Leave the hole that your apartment has become?”
I took a deep breath. Because I wanted to confide my pregnancy to my best friend, but I couldn’t. Not now, when everything was so raw and fresh. So instead, I decided to do the next best thing. Get my mind off this situation. Go out, party a little, dance up a storm, and forget my troubles for a short time.
“Yeah, it would be fun. What do you think?”
There was silence for a moment before Mandy’s voice sounded in my ear.
“What the hell have you done with my friend?” she said with a mock growl. “Have aliens spirited my buddy away?”
I heaved a sigh of exasperation. This wasn’t funny.
“Mandy,” I chided. “Seriously. I just need to go out. I’ve been cooped up in this apartment for too long, and I’m going a little stir crazy.” I spoke quickly, trying to sound excited.
“Are you sure that everything is okay? You sound a little… off,” she said slowly.
“I’m sure.”
Another pause, but then my friend took the bait.
“Okay. What did you have in mind?”
Honestly, I had no idea. It’d been two months since I’d been to any type of social event, and I had no idea what the hot bars and clubs were.
“Um, your choice? I’ll let you pick.
Mandy laughed. “I know, you have no idea. You can’t hide it Janie,” she chided. “But how about dinner? That should be enough to distract you from whatever is on your mind.”
“Nothing is on my mind,” was my vehement denial. I could almost hear Mandy roll her eyes.
“Janie, I’ve known you for five years now. I know when you’re lying to me. If you don’t want to tell me what’s going on, that’s fine. I get it. Some things you just keep secret. Over-sharing is not good.”
I was silent for a moment, thankful for such an understanding friend.
“Anyways, how about seven tonight?” she chirped. “I know this amazing little restaurant downtown that I’ve been meaning to drag you to.”
I gulped gratefully.
“That’ll work.”
“Perfect, I’ll pick you up at 6:30, and we’ll go from there.” With a click, Mandy was gone and I took a deep breath. Tonight, I was going to act like a normal person again, eating dinner at a nice place and then maybe some dancing afterwards. I was going to be a normal twenty-something girl, instead of mooning after a man I couldn’t have … even though I was pregnant with his child.
***
As I waited for her to arrive, the hours seemed to drag on for an eternity. All I wanted to do was get out of that apartment and forget about the baby growing inside of me. I would need to face reality at some point, but I just couldn’t face it now. Time was needed. A lot of time.
I fidgeted on the couch, pulling at a loose thread on my pants, wondering if Travis had gotten my note. Hopefully, he would read it and understand. Hopefully, we’d find a solution to all this. But was I wishing for a miracle? The man hadn’t acknowledged me for two months, even though he lived right across the hall. But surely the baby would make him change his mind, right?
Suddenly, a knock startled me from my reverie. Maybe it was Travis!
The sound sent me flying out of my seat. Quickly, I rushed toward the door, looking through the peephole.
But instead of Travis, Mandy was standing there in a killer red dress and matching pumps. Looking down at my own attire, I looked like a ninety-year old hag. What was my friend doing here?
Cautiously, I opened the door, anticipating her comments.
“Hey, doll.” She smiled. “You ready?”
“Yes,” I murmured, surprised by her lack of outburst. Usually, at this point, she would have dragged me into my bedroom to change.
“Why do you sound so unsure?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “You were the one who begged me to go out last week, remember?”
I shrugged. “Nothing really.”
Mandy put her hands on her waist, cocking one hip sassily.
“You’re waiting for me to tell you to put on something sexy, aren’t you?”
“Kind of,” I smiled.
“Well you sounded pretty down on the phone. I didn’t want to push you. But if you insist….” A sly grin spread across her face right before she grabbed me by the wrist and towed me toward the bedroom. She let go then, flinging open the doors to my closet. “Hmm, let’s see here.” She glanced in my direction like an artist trying to paint a masterpiece. “By the time I’m done, you won’t be able to recognize yourself.”
“There’s no need to go crazy now,” I protested. “I mean, we’re just going out to dinner, right?”
“Of course, of course.” Her grin deepened. “Just a nice innocent dinner. But you still need to dress up.”
Uh oh.
“Why do I get the sense that you’re up to something?”
“That’s because I am.” She chuckled. “Don’t you know by now that I’m always up to something? Look.” She turned, facing me with one hand on her hip. “I can tell that something has got you down in the dumps, but you best believe that’s going to change tonight. You’re going to have so much fun you won’t know what hit you.”
I bit my lip, already regretting my decision to hang out with her because I had an uneasy feeling about this. My friend was going to drag me into something I didn’t want to do for sure. “Mandy, I just wanted a nice night out. That’s it.”
She pouted. “Oh, come on. When’s the last time you had fun?”
“Um…”
Good point. It’d been a long time and Mandy jumped on my answer.
“See, you can’t even remember! You have to let loose, girl.”
“I… I don’t know.”
“What’s the worst that can happen?” she laughed.
“With you, a lot,” I responded seriously.
“Okay, you have a point there. But still, you can’t have fun if you always straddle the safe line. Come on, live a little babe! It’s your time!”
Mandy’s words worked their magic because suddenly I did feel better. The air was clearer, everything taking on a slight golden hue.
“You know what,” I rested a hand on my stomach. “You’re right. It’s time for me to live a little. At least for tonight.” In that moment, I realized that while the situation with Travis and the baby wasn’t ideal, I couldn’t moon about and be miserable forever. It had happened, and I’d deal with it. There was no sense in losing my sanity completely, either for mine or the baby’s sake.
Sensing the change in my mood, Mandy smiled brightly.
“Good,” she chirped. “It’s about time that you saw things my way.” Diving into my closet, the blonde rummaged for a while before reappearing with a small scrap of black fabric held triumphantly in her hands.
“Where did you even find this?” I asked with wonderment, staring at the thin material.
“The back of your closet, where else? I gave it to you one Christmas but evidently, you never wore it because the tags are still here.”
I blushed. “It’s not that I don’t like it.”
But Mandy interrupted.
“You don’t have to explain yourself. You’re wearing it now,” she said firmly. I eyed the scrap again with some trepidation.
“Are you sure I would look good in this? It’s so … um, tiny.”
“You’ll look fabulous. Trust me. Have a little faith in your body. Show it a little and let loose.”
I bit my lip.
“But my body isn’t like yours.”
Mandy rolled her eyes.
“Girl, I wish I had curves like yours.” She ran a hand over her hips. “I’m all skin and bones whereas you’ve got some junk in the trunk. You know what I’d give to have some meat that guys can grab?” she asked, slapping her backside, which was as flat as a pancake. “Enjoy what you have, Janie.”
I blushed even harder. “You really think so?”
“No, I know so. Now, will you hurry up? I’m starving.”
“Alright, alright. I’m going.” When I was alone in the bathroom, I was surprised to find that a sense of giddiness had entered my head, like champagne fizzling. Maybe, just maybe, I’d look good like Mandy said.
So quickly, I shrugged off my clothes, tossing them in the hamper. Stepping into the dress, I tugged the fabric along my body until it rested perfectly in all the right places. After a bit of a fight with the zipper, the whole thing fastened just right. Okay, maybe a little tight, but at least it zipped up all the way.
Taking a deep breath, I finally looked at my reflection.
Oh wow. Mandy was right.
I couldn’t even recognize myself.
Was that really me? Because the girl that stared back at me was gorgeous with a knockout curves displayed to their best advantage in the tight, stretchy fabric. The décolletage was low enough to highlight my generous bosom without being sleazy, while the hem of the skirt reached midway to my knees, leaving just the right about of creamy white thigh exposed.
“Whoa.” I twirled around, eyes wide with amazement, unable to believe the transformation.
“You alright in there?” Mandy called out.
“Yes!” I called out hesitantly. “Be right out.”
“You don’t sound too sure,” she harrumphed.
“It’s just… this looks really good. I can’t believe it.”
“What did I tell you?” she said with a smirk in her voice. “Mandy knows, you just have to trust in the process.”
Slowly, I ran my hands over my hips, feeling sexy for the first time in a long time.
“Well, don’t just tease me. Let me see!” My friend banged on the door, impatient for the reveal.
With an air of confidence, I swung open the door, smiling at her. “You’re a miracle worker, Mandy.”
She chuckled. “I try. But let me take a good look at you.” With her hands on my shoulders, she eased me into the light before stepping back, eyes sweeping over my body. “Damn girl,” she whistled. “I have some competition tonight.”
A fire burned on my cheeks at her words. “I’m not trying to compete with you,” was my swift demurral. “I’m just glad that the dress looks nice.”
Mandy huffed with exasperation again.
“You always look nice, Janie. You just need to be more confident in yourself.” She squeezed my hand in encouragement. “Alright, do you know what comes next?”
“Um, hair and make-up?”
“No, accessories!” my friend squealed excitedly, jumping up and down. And for the following twenty minutes, Mandy fretted over the right pair of shoes before moving onto the handbag dilemma. By the time she was done, my stomach was growling in protest with hunger.
“There. Perfect!” she exclaimed. “Now no one will be able to keep their eyes off you.”
“If I remember correctly, that wasn’t the goal,” was my half-hearted reply.
Mandy shook her head.
“Come on babe, we all like a little bit of attention. Don’t pretend like you don’t.”
“I guess you’re right. Maybe. But can we go please? I’m really, really hungry now. Maybe I should eat a snack first,” I said as my stomach rumbled audibly. It takes food to keep this shape, and my body wasn’t letting me forget it.
“Okay, okay,” Mandy laughed, holding her hands up in surrender. “Let’s go.”
With a dramatic gesture, she grabbed her keys off the coffee table, sashaying to the door. “Let’s paint the town red, babe. This is your night.”
I shook my head. “You’re going to get me in trouble, aren’t you?”
My friend winked brightly, tossing her blonde hair over one shoulder.
“That’s the plan, babe. Stick with me and you’ll see.”
And I had to give in with a laugh. Because Mandy always does that to me. She’s chipper and vibrant, and my mood had improved dramatically since she arrived. Sure, there was still my pregnancy and Travis’s worrisome non-response, but for tonight, I wasn’t going to worry about it. Tonight, I was going to re-enter the world of the living and have some fun … with a vengeance.
***
In no time, we were circling around the block, trying to find parking.
“I can’t believe they don’t offer valet service. This is ridiculous,” Mandy complained, eyes hungrily scanning the sidewalks.
“What’s that over there?” I pointed to what looked like a vacant spot.
The car sped forward, nearly running over an elderly couple. “Fire hydrant,” Mandy said, exasperated. “This is impossible.”
“You know, we could just park a little further away. A bit of walking isn’t going to kill us.”
My friend shot me a look.
“What? In these heels? Are you crazy? Do you want me to break an ankle?”
I made a funny face.
“I wasn’t the one who told you to wear six-inch pumps tonight.”
“Oh shush, I’m going to find a space, even if it kills me. That’s my new mission for the night.”
I sat back, leaning my head against the soft leather cushion.
“Alright.” Because there was nothing I could do to convince her to park further from the restaurant. As I sat there, my eyes dropped to my phone unconsciously.
Why hadn’t I asked for Travis’s number? Things would be so much easier if I could only get in contact with him. Had he seen my note? The question was constantly nagging at the back of my head. But what if I never saw him again? All these thoughts made my head spin crazily.
“Janie? You alright?” Mandy looked over in my direction. It was only then that I realized that we were finally parked. “You zoned out for a minute.”
“Sorry. I was just thinking.”
“About?” Her brows raised quizzically.
This would be the perfect time to spill the beans about the baby in my belly. After all, we were alone in the car and I was feeling better about myself. But I couldn’t, the issue was too momentous. So I shot her a wry smile.
“I don’t really want to talk about it.”
“Alright.” She offered a small smile. “But if you ever need someone to listen, you know I’m here for you.”
“I know.” I returned her smile before getting out of the car. The door handle wiggled so much I thought it was going to snap but thankfully it held firm. One of these days, Mandy’s car was going to fall apart at the seams.
Together, we walked into the restaurant.
“Good evening. How many?” the hostess chirped.
“Just two,” my friend said, holding up two fingers.
“Right this way.” With oversized menus in her hands, she guided us toward the back of the restaurant. It was an elegant place without being over the top. Warm hues painted the walls, with a small candle on every table so that diners were cast in a rosy glow.
“This place looks nice,” I whispered in Mandy’s direction.
“I told you,” she said smugly.
“Here we are.” The hostess waved her hand toward a table set for two. “Can I start you off with something to drink?”
“I’ll just have some water,” I answered.
Mandy let out an audible sigh.
“Water? No. No. She’ll have a margarita.”
But I shook my head furiously.
“No really, it’s fine. Just a water. Thank you.”
My friend’s eyes bugged out at me meaningfully.
“Seriously, get this girl a margarita. She needs it.” Mandy insisted. “Actually, make that two. I need one too.”
The hostess nodded, walking away.
“Why did you do that?” I protested.
“Do what?” Mandy asked, an innocent expression on her face. “I’m just trying to help you loosen up a bit.”
“But you know I’m not much of a drinker.”
Mandy rolled her eyes at me for the umpteenth time.
“Maybe that’s the problem, Janie. A little alcohol isn’t going to kill you. Loosen up a little. Let yourself enjoy the finer things in life once in a while.”
I bit my lip. I didn’t want to admit to my friend that I was pregnant – yet. She would blow her top and I wasn’t ready to deal with that right now. Especially not in a public place. So with a sigh, I relented, looking around the restaurant instead of trying to make my point.
The diners were well-dressed, laughing and chatting among themselves, silverware clinking. Everyone was elegantly dressed, the men handsome, the women beautiful.
But then I did a double-take, eyes opening wide.
Because it was him. Dr. Travis was here. What in the world? Why was he here, on this night of all times? How was this happening?
But then my heart stopped because he was with someone – a woman who was drop-dead gorgeous.
I stared at the female, jaw nearly hitting the floor. Travis’s girlfriend had flawless black hair that framed her angelic hair. Gorgeous blue eyes. She was svelte and sexy, decked out in a tiny cocktail dress that I could never pull off. In one word, she was the kind of girl that belonged at a modeling agency.
“Janie?”
A stab of pain radiated through my chest. No. This couldn’t be happening. Was Travis already with someone else?
“Janie,” Mandy’s voice came again, sounding tinny and far away. “Janie, Janie!”
Suddenly, everything went to black as I lost consciousness, the shock of seeing Travis with another woman a devastating blow. Because why did I ever think we had something special? We had one night together, and that was it. The man and I weren’t dating. We weren’t even friends, for crying out. We were neighbors that said hello occasionally, and nothing else.
And with that, blessed darkness overwhelmed my consciousness, everything fading away.