~Sixteen

“Mr. Bailey,” the woman with blonde hair pulled to the back, and black rectangular frames stood to her feet, bowed as she spoke, “they’re all in there waiting on you.” She pointed to the conference room I’d been in more times than I could count over the years.

Chesney had a dope office on the Upper East Side. I couldn’t decide which was better: this one in New York City or his headquarters in Los Angeles. John, the Kings’ appointed security now fulltime with Tyheem and me, opened one of the double doors and I strolled through. My eyes quickly scanned the left area and saw a few bodies at the far end of the table.

Chesney stood and walked over to me, smoothing down his tie.

“Trent,” He shook my hand, giving a neck bow. “Glad you could make it.”

His associate, whose name I couldn’t remember, but recognized from the office over the years, nodded to me. Jade was in the last seat on the side of the long table closest to me. I went to her, and in my approach, I recognized that hard profile expression. She wasn’t happy.

Maybe a little too roughly, I grabbed her chin, tilting her head for a kiss. I sloppily pecked where I sucked her lips into mine. I didn’t plan on it, but I was nervous. When my face was this close to her and I could smell her natural body oils under the perfume, I realized how hungry I was for her. I hadn’t had her since the night of my birthday party. That was more than two weeks ago. My crazy schedule mixed with bad nerves about this meeting had me tip the scales of appropriateness with her.

I turned my back to block out the room then pulled away before she could and stared into her hazels. So many bodies in the room to have a simple conversation caught me off guard. Jade told me Chesney would be here and all, but now…seeing it made everything real. And serious.

“I like the pictures of the deck,” I whispered to her.

A soft smile spread on her mildly made up face. Jade had cut back a lot: hair and makeup.

“I wish it hadn’t rained so much,” she whispered back. “I could’ve taken better ones.”

Jade was finishing up on the back deck of the house. She’d designed it months ago, and finally was ordering furniture to get ready for warmer weather. She sent me pictures while I’d been away to keep me updated. The month of May was days away, and she was almost there.

“Ky like it?” I asked.

“He hasn’t said.” Her eyes danced between mine. “Trent, you don’t have much time.” She motioned to the table. “And I don’t have a good feeling about this. I’ve prayed about it all week. I’m going to keep quiet and let you speak.” I had to read her lips to follow, her voice was so low.

And my lady was sincere. She’d been taking her prayer life seriously, and that made me happy. Hearing that had me man up and get my head in the game. That’s what she was asking me to do. My back had been to the room, crowding her in. I took a deep breath and stood. Grabbing the chair next to me close to hers, I sat down and pulled her closer to me.

“Okay,” Chesney started with the clap of his hands. “We’re all aware Mr. Bailey has just a few minutes to spare before he has to take off to catch a flight. Let’s be judicious with his time.” He turned to the two men across from Jade and me. “Mr. Jackson, you wanted a word with Mr. Bailey.”

Finally, I looked across the table. Trenton Jackson, my biological father was tapping his fingers together nervously, forcing a smile. His eyes couldn’t stay on me. They bounced to everybody at the table, it seemed. There was a dude next to him I didn’t recognize. He kept eyeballing me. It was the “Oh, shit. It’s TB” look.

“Yeah. Yeah,” Jackson agreed, nervously. His eyes focused in on me. “I heard you did the youth football camp here in Jersey.”

At first, I didn’t speak. This was weird.

“Yeah. Good times with the kids.” That was my PR response. I didn’t know how else to follow up.

He sat up at the table. “O-okay. I don’t want to take up too much of your time. I know you’re a busy man—congrats on your new contract, by the way. Glad you’re finally being welcomed back with open arms.”

The guy next to him nodded with a slight smile, in agreement. I gave a bow, as a way of saying thanks as I listened.

“Ummmm…” he tried again, using his fingers to communicate. “As you know I—I’m your fa—father…” Jackson couldn’t look at me when saying that. “…and I get we haven’t been in touch and all since you first got the Kings deal, years ago. I’ve tried to give you your space. You seemed to be turning out well.” He kept using those fingers. “Shank did right by you…as you can see. I’m happy for that…”

“Mr. Jackson, Mr. Bailey’s time is limited,” Chesney reminded him. “It was quite a feat for his fiancée to arrange this meeting today.” He was warning Jackson to get to the point.

I agreed. He’d been hitting me up for months and I was finally giving him the opportunity to tell me what he wanted.

Jackson nodded with closed eyes, head going up and down repeatedly. “Okay. I got it.” He looked over at the guy next to him. “I…uhhhh. I’ve got two boys. One is with me now. Jones.” He pointed to the guy. Oh… “He’s my baby boy…almost done with high school—big fan of yours, by the way. Well, my oldest one—Lamont—is twenty-three. He is—was in college—”

“I’m sorry, Trenton,” Jade jumped in. “Don’t you mean you have three boys and Lamont is your second oldest?” She tossed her head toward me and cleared her throat. “Your oldest son is who you’re addressing.”

Shit. He’s getting Jade, the beast…

My hand reached under the table for her thigh, squeezing it.

“I’m sorry,” Jackson bowed. “It’s just… It sounds strange, I’m sure to the room. And I don’t want to overstep.”

“Of course, not,” Chesney breathed, rolling his eyes.

I didn’t speak at all, studied the man’s features, wondering if he’s what I looked like. I never resembled my moms and her peoples. Everybody said I was my pops’ twin. Now, looking at him for the second time in my life, I wanted to see it myself.

“Ummm… Well, Lamont’s sick,” Jackson continued, eyes jumping across the table. “Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. He was diagnosed last year, and because he was in his last year of college, it ended his football career—he was not going as far as you, but was good at it. Committed. Skilled.”

“Okay, Mr. Jackson,” Chesney’s associate spoke up. Patel! I remembered. Paul Patel. I commented once how he had a middle eastern last name, but looked Asian. “Is it money you need?” He was just as cut throat as his boss, Chesney.

“No!” Jackson answered real quick. “Yeah. Medical expenses have grown out of control, and my wife and me are struggling to keep up, but I’m not asking for no handout.”

“Then what is it, Mr. Jackson, that you’re asking of Mr. Bailey?” Chesney asked.

Jackson took another deep breath, his eyes hit mine. “We got a Go Fund Me account, had fish fries, garage sales, the church been raising money, his school team raised money—we got a lot going on to help with the crazy bills flying in, left and right. My wife had to quit her job to help take him to these doctors and specialists—”

The kid next to him, my brother, held up a phone with a dude in the hospital bed. Tubes were running from his face and arms. I’d guessed that was Lamont.

“Yeah,” Jackson nodded toward the phone. “That’s my Lamont. He’s now at Hackensack with some doctors doing experimental treatments. Right now, things are stable, but at any moment…” His hands seesawed.

“How much you asking for?” I finally asked, wanting this to be over.

“It’s not how much,” Jackson made clear, and for the first time, I saw the desperation in his eyes. “I’m not asking for a handout. I just wanted to know—it would—” He shook his head. Then his eyes rolled up to me again. “If you can do a fundraiser in his name. I know your popularity would help a lot—”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Jackso—” Patel was interrupted by Chesney.

“Whoa. Whoa. Whoa!” Chesney pumped his palms in the air. “Mr. Jackson, you’re stepping into public relation waters. Mr. Bailey is a brand. He’s affiliated with long-standing, corporate giants that have vetted his associations. There’s no way he could casually start a Go Fund Me for a cause on a whim.”

“This is for his brother,” little Jones spoke up. “My brother. Ain’t no whim. Ain’t nothing random.”

“Random?” Chesney’s neck jerked back. “Whim?” He did it again. “Let us not use those nouns when your father here has never practiced a verb when it comes to one Trenton Bailey, son.” And there he was. The arrogant S.O.B. with those dramatic inflections.

I wasn’t in the mood to watch Chesney slaughter my pops and his son like a Javan tiger. Based on how Jade’s little leg was bouncing on her toes underneath the table, I knew she’d be the one who would enjoy the feed of their deaths the most.

“How much you need?” I asked again.

Jade’s neck snapped to face me. No need to look at her. I knew she wasn’t with it.

“Again, Trent. I’m not asking for a hand—”

“Of course, not,” Chesney cut in. Again.

“How much are the bills?” I asked over them all with a raised voice.

The room got quiet. My eyes were on Jackson, and for the first time, I saw a similarity. He was desperate and scared. This dude loved his son so much he was willing to come to New York, sit in a swanky office, in front of killer lawyers to ask for help from a son he never took on. He had to be desperate. No need to keep watching him beg.

“Just give me a figure. I don’t need the extra details.” I stared him dead in the eyes.

Jade squeezed my arm over her thigh.

Jones tapped his father, telling him to spit it. After squeezing his eyes closed and shaking his head, Jackson finally spoke.

“Eighty-two thousand, six hundred, seventy-four dollars,” he answered through gritted teeth.

I stood from the table and looked over to Chesney. “Cut it for a hundred K.”

The room was quiet as I turned to leave. From the corner of my eye, I could see John following me. Jade’s voice stopped me at the door.

“Congratulations on getting a new contract.” I heard when she pulled in a breath from her nostrils. “My husband came all the way here and got one sign of support from you, and it was about his lucrative job?” My eyes closed at that. And not because she’d started flipping, but because she’d let it slip again that we were married. She claimed me as her husband. There was no better feeling than that. Fuck not having my parents’ love and support. I had Jade. I was good. I couldn’t move to face the table again, though. “You knew about his community outreach with football camps. Did you know the only father he knew passed away?”

“Uhhh… Yeah…” Jackson stalled. “I’m sorry about Shank. I didn’t know how to bring that up.”

“Too late,” Jade spat. “I’m sure your son here knows he’s getting married—expecting his first baby.” There was a gap of silence, but Jackson came with nothing. “You could have asked for an invitation to the wedding…made a plea to be in your grandchild’s life—apologized for not being a father. But no. Your agenda today was to be a father. Just not to him.”

“Jade,” I warned with my chin to the ceiling, wanting this to end before she blew a gasket.

The money would be put to good use. There’s no way I could have my biological brother wasting away with my knowledge and not do anything. It wouldn’t be good PR if this got out. More than that, it wouldn’t be Christ-like to do nothing. To whom much is given, much is required. I was good with cutting the check to clear my conscience of Trenton Jackson.

“Don’t ever contact him again unless you’re ready to apologize for your near thirty years of complete neglect and nothing more,” she growled. The room was quiet again, and my fists clenched angrily because I couldn’t pick her little ass up off her feet and snatch her out of here like I used to because she was pregnant. “You had better be glad I didn’t know what this was about. Be glad he’s a Christian man and generous to a fault. Anyone else, your sorry ass would be tossed out by security the minute you uttered you only have two boys.”

“Hang on here!” Jackson spoke. “I said I didn’t come here for no handouts!” 

When I heard movements of a chair, I leaped around to the table. I grabbed Jade roughly by the hand, but leaned across the table.

“The only reason I’m not feeling like a sucker right now is because I just found out you paid some type of child support,” I lied. “If it wasn’t for that, I would’ve never met with you today.” That part was true.

Whether it was forced or not, Trenton Jackson contributed something to my care. I didn’t know how much or how consistent, but I knew he did. It also meant something that he hadn’t tried going about this through the media.

I had recognized myself in my father. He wasn’t a total asshole. He was just desperate and needed help to protect what was his. Maybe I’d been left out of that exclusive circle, but he had some sense of dedication.

I looked over to Chesney again. “With stipulations, cut the check today.”

He nodded and I turned to leave the room, Jade’s little feet click-clacking to keep up.

“I was married,” Jackson spoke loud to get my attention. It worked. I stopped at the door again and turned to look over my shoulder. Jackson’s face was on the table, between his elbows, and his arms stood in the air. “When I met your mother, I was married and frustrated and stupid. We’d been trying to have kids for years and instead of me dealing with it the right way, I strayed. I met your mother at a bar.” His head came up and he looked at me. “A strip club. She wasn’t working there. Little did I know, she was there because her brother was working that night. Brenda Bailey wasn’t the most charming or flashy.”

He started with those hands and fingers again. “I’m sure I don’t have to explain the narrative to a handsome man of your popularity.” His chin lowered. “We had a few drinks. Flirted a little and I eventually left that first night. Then I came back the next. Brenda was there. She was even more friendlier. Things got wild and by the end of the night…” He looked over to his son, conscious about what he was copping to.

“We were in the back of my car. I didn’t go back to that bar for a couple of weeks. Guilt had me stay away. But my wife and I had another unlucky month and the way I handled it was going back to the bar. Brenda wasn’t there. Her friend told me where I could find her. She stayed in a little apartment with your brother, Trevor.” Shit… Something in my chest ripped. He couldn’t look at me. “Well… You can imagine what happened.” He waved his fingers.

Jade’s grip on my hand tightened and I could hear her breathing hard. I didn’t need her crying. I was trying to control my own emotions.

“I didn’t see her for a while after that night. Told myself I had to find a better way of dealing with my marital issues.” He shook his head slowly. “Two months later, I found myself back at the bar, not sure what I was looking for, but knew what I wanted. Shank was dancing that night and got off stage when he saw me. He yoked me up and dragged me into the back room. That’s when he told me about Brenda being pregnant. It wasn’t a negotiation session. After I explained my situation—at home—I was told what to pay and when.” He shrugged. “And I did. I paid.”

My mouth was dry, throat was closed with steel wool lodged in it.

“Yeah, but having you as a volunteer coach, at birthday parties—character witness at my trial woulda been better.” Then I looked at Jones. His mouth hung open, eyes wide with tear puddles as he looked at his dad then me. “I’ll lift your brother in prayer.”

By His stripes…

I turned and left the conference room.

I came bustling through the garage door with countless bags hanging from my wrists and hands. They were heavy and painful, so I dropped them all in front of the bench in between the door and laundry room and grabbed the ones needing to be addressed tonight. I walked down the hall to the kitchen, not even stopping. It was late and apparently, April had cleaned it. She’d been a big help around here with Kyree, even picked him up from school today and kept him while I was in the City with Trent, then running errands after.

I made my way into the dining room where there were place cards laid out over the table, mimicking the grand ballroom of LaChateau. As she’d been doing since RSVPs had begun pouring in, Tessie Bell had emailed me the latest responders. I began writing in their names where they should be placed as I pondered the meeting earlier with Trent’s father.

That was rough. I’d intended on being quiet, told myself to save all comments until we were alone. But when Trent consented to paying the man’s son’s medical expenses, I lost it. The man spoke to Trent with no familiarity at all, yet had the gall to ask him to fundraise. I was so incensed, my body temperature shot sky high. As I stood next to him and felt his palm mist and tremble as he fought to save face, I felt murderous.

But Trent being the benevolent heart he was, did more than grant his request of being the poster child of his fundraising. He paid off the debt caused by his brother’s illness and padded their father with more money. What’s to say Trenton Jackson wouldn’t come back for more? I couldn’t stand seeing anyone take advantage of Trent, and it seemed the two people who should be closest and most protective of him did it without conscience. I wanted to slaughter Brenda Bailey, but couldn’t due to her mental illness. I wanted my husband to break loose on Trenton Jackson, but instead, he figuratively turned the other cheek to allow more wrongdoing. I was engaging in an uphill battle that I knew I was losing.

And here I was, planning our wedding. Yesterday, I received Trick’s RSVP notification. It included Brenda’s. He’d kept his word. But even that sickened me. They could’ve kept the hell away from Trent and wouldn’t be missed by me. That included Brielle.

On my way home, I heard on the radio Brielle’s medical records had been leaked. In them were notes of an abortion. Several names were thrown around as to who could have impregnated the international pop star. My palms gripped the steering wheel to the point of pain and white knuckles when Trent’s name was thrown into the ring. The only upside to the ordeal was how meticulously private Brielle and her camp had been over the years. The public could only speculate. Proving it would be a difficult feat. But I knew the truth of the possibility and it boiled my blood. I couldn’t imagine Trent having a baby with anyone else, as crazy as that sounded. That first belonged to me. My regard swept down to my belly.

And now that you have it…

A trembling wave coursed my whole body from neck to toes. I sat down in a chair, trying to calm myself. Feeling dangerously warm again from anger, I kicked off my shoes. When I pulled my one foot over my thigh to massage it, my phone vibrated inside my purse. I dug for it.

Trent: The only money that means the most to me is what I'll pay to keep you by my side. I'll give it ALL just to have you. Please be patient with me J.

My belly rolled. It was her. She was kicking. I touched my tummy, feeling my daughter communicate to me. My daughter. That was the first time I referenced her as that. My left hand brushed down to the bottom of my belly while my right alternated between the left and right sides to feel where she was. That’s when it hit me: In the past month and a half, I hadn’t embraced being pregnant. I accepted it—couldn’t help but to with a growing belly. I’d even felt her kick on a number of occasions. But in this moment, experiencing her as her father made this emotional plea made it all real.

Trent: I love you Jade

My face fell into my hand and I sobbed uncontrollably. I felt it from the pit of my stomach as it vibrated under my diaphragm. I groaned loudly, feeling a flush of emotions I’d been keeping in.

“Jade!” I recognized April’s panicked cry, but I couldn’t look up. Didn’t want to. I was tired. “Jade!” I felt her hand on my shoulder then her soft meaty arms. “No. No. No, honey. Don’t do that. Please talk to me.”

I couldn’t stop shaking or crying. This was different from my hormonal outburst. This was pain seeping from my heart…my eyes, mouth.

“I can’t…do this,” I sputtered. “I can’t do this.”

“Jade, move your hands from your face.” She tried prying them. “If you can’t breathe, you can’t speak.

I allowed her to remove my hands and my head tossed back as I tried to stop crying.

“Is it wedding jitters?”

I shook my head. “Today,” I tried. “Trenton Jackson…”

“Okay. What did he want?” When I wasn’t speaking fast enough, she asked. “How much?”

It was more than that, but I hadn’t the voice to articulate it all.

“He got more than he…deserved and I’m feeling like a bitch because he shouldn’t have gotten…anything!” My eyes found hers. “I can’t do this, April. I thought…I could handle it, but I can’t.”

They say be careful what you ask for, and I was learning it to be true. I wanted the man and whatever he brought with him. But the fame, nasty hate-wishers from his celebrity, his former lover, neglectful parents, and obvious naivety were becoming too much for me. On top of that, I was carrying his child, something he didn’t need right now—none of us needed right now. My reputation as a jealous, ill-tempered lover of his amongst his friends and family would continue to spread. Once again, consequences were returning to collect on former poor decisions.

Seducing a man while he tried helping you and your son is coming back to bite you in the ass…

“What can’t you do, Jade?” she asked.

“I can’t do any of it. I’m not…built to take on a man like…Trent.” My diaphragm still made it difficult to speak.

“Awwwww, baby.” She smiled. I was having a damn meltdown and she was able to find humor in the moment? “You think there can’t be sunshine on rainy days? Now, I didn’t take you for being one of them little girls that believe relationships are supposed to be perfect at all times.”

I sighed, closing my eyes against the wave of annoyance creeping up my spine. “April, I mean no disrespect,” my voice was low, words dripped slowly, “…but if not being one of those ‘little girls’ means staying with a man who had AIDS after he cheated on me for years should be acceptable in my eyes, I’ve got news for you. I’m one of them.”

Great…

Now Trent’s aunt would join the long line of people in his life who hated me.

“Now, what I did was a lot. And I ain’t got to explain or apologize to nobody. But newsflash, young lady: no relationship is problem, issue, drama, or third party free.”

I sucked in air. “You think Trent’s cheating on me?”

“Girl, that ain’t what I’m saying! What I mean is, there’s going to always be that third person coming up, whether they’re just sniffing around the tree or dry humping it. Trent may never cheat, but that won’t stop the thousands of women who want him from trying. You just have to be strong enough to deal with it.” My face folded as I listened, trying to control my diaphragm. “And family drama? Huh! I done been in the Bailey family since I was little girl. You better just roll up your sleeves and get ready.”

My eyes closed again at that visual. I didn’t have it in me. Already, I was failing and I hadn’t been his wife a year yet.

Shaking my head, I whispered, “I can’t do it, April.”

“You are exactly what that boy needs. Even Shank knew it.”

“If you’re going to try to convince me with that story of Shank’s bet about us getting married and him wanting a lot of kids, I can tell you now, don’t waste your breath.” Now, I was being a bitch to April.

I couldn’t help it.

Her smile faded. “Come with me. I got something to tell you that will blow your mind. Leave this stuff here.” She pulled me from my chair. Quickly, I scrambled to grab my phone. Flashes of the gazillion things I had to do before closing my eyes flashed through my head. “And don’t worry about the cookies for Ky’s class tomorrow. I already made the packaged ones. Trust me; them kids will enjoy them just the same, child.”

I sniffled the entire way to her room.

He squeezed me tight in his big hold, smelling like masculine protection.

I relished it with closed eyes. “Thanks for this, George.”

“Are you kidding me?” he chuckled, letting go. “I’ve waited years for this. Wish I could’ve done more than walk you down the aisle.”

Money.

I snorted. “You’ve done more than your share since I moved in and invaded your home.” He looked gorgeous in his black tux, shining oxfords, and diamond point styled bowtie. “My gratitude is endless,” I murmured, smoothing down his right lapel.

“Jade, I wish you wouldn’t think of it as a burden. Has it ever occurred to you that before you, I didn’t have children of my own? You’ve been a tremendous blessing—filled a void. My gratitude is exclusive.” I almost cried. Almost. My hormones were better controlled now at six months, miraculously. And I didn’t want to disrupt my makeup. I settled for a kiss on the cheek to respond instead. “I’m going to let you get back to what you were doing,” George offered, backing away. “It’s not every day you see the bride on her big day, applying makeup to the first lady of the church.”

Lex laughed, sitting in a director’s chair, Redeeming Souls had available in their bridal suite. It was amazing.

“Pastor may have the more important work today, but I’m actually serving a purpose here,” she jeered with George.

We all laughed as he backed away toward the door. “Well, let me get back to my wife,” George breathed. “Kyree and I’ll be in the vestibule where Ms. Bell assigned us. We’ll see you there.”

I blew him a kiss before he closed the door, leaving us alone. My makeup—all but my lips—had been done by an artist Elle recommended. My hair was styled and gown was on as we waited until start time for the ceremony.

“Now, where was I?” I smiled, going back for the blush brush.

Lex sat back in the seat, rubbing her non-existent belly.

“I’m hungry,” she whined as I brushed her ebony cheeks. “A juicy burger would set me straight,” she moaned. “You have any cravings yet? I swear that’s how Ezra knew I was pregnant. The moment I asked for a bacon cheeseburger at DiFillippo’s one night after Bible study, his Spidey sensors went up—though he says otherwise.”

My hand froze at her face. “Really?”

“Yup,” she hummed. “Then he told me he selected the restaurant because he was craving their crème brûlée. That was a major key!” she declared firmly.

I tossed my head back and laughed. “I can’t believe Pastor Carmichael has cravings! Trent has none. My only one, lately, is sex.” I stood straight, grabbed the bottom of my small bulge. “Man, it’s been crazy lately. I’ve been crazy lately.”

“That’s life and marriage, especially when it throws you a curve ball.”

“And they’ve been coming. Oh, my goodness! One after another. Just three weeks ago, I was ready to call this thing off. Now, I’m counting down the hours until I’m in his pants. Isn’t that insane? I’ll be leaving my eight year old for two whole weeks, and my major concern is jumping my man’s bone.”

Lex tossed her head back and hooted nice and loud.

“Welcome to the sex-crazed hormonal club, bruh!”

“No!” I proclaimed with wide eyes, trying to watch my volume. “It’s not been this way the entire time. It seemed like the moment I found out I was pregnant, I didn’t want him touching me.” Her amusement ceased instantly. “I wanted no parts of the big guy. Didn’t even want him touching my belly.”

Lex sat up straight in the director-style chair.

I felt the need to explain. “It was the blues of my disappointment about getting pregnant. That mixed with his travel. The season is over, but Trent’s a brand and has been fulfilling obligations left and right, as well as pursuing his passion with at risk youth and football camps. It’s been tough on us these past two months. I’ve had a lot on my plate, too. I may not have been overwhelmed with the details of this wedding, thanks to the wedding coordinator, but I had to participate a little in the planning of today, tend to my son and his endless school projects, take on a new job with Trent’s PR firm, finish remodeling the house…it’s been a lot.”

Lex’s brows furrowed and I watched as her tongue roved over her front teeth with her mouth closed.

“Can I say something to you and not sound First Lady-ish?” I nodded, curious about what was coming. “Don’t let anything but infidelity and abuse stall your sex life with your husband.” She sat back in her seat. “I don’t say it publicly, but Ezra is a fountain of wisdom that I can’t even begin to understand. One of the few things that resonated with me immediately from his mouth is a man’s physical need of a woman. It’s so potent and raw that it can be uncontrolled and satisfied by anyone.”

Panic shot to every crevice of my body.

“You think Trent’s cheated on me?” I may have matured since being at his side, but I still had my insecurities and unfounded paranoia.

“No!” Her hand shot in the air. “I don’t believe that at all. What I’m saying is their need for sex is similar to ours as pregnant women, who have the heavy inclination. We need to be satisfied and can likely have it done by any appealing figure, the need is that dire. But our bodies are only assigned to our vow exchangers.” Her chin dipped to ask if I followed. “Unless it’s an extreme circumstance, you have to provide the release for him—however you can.” Her eyes were big, reading. “That could’ve contributed to the craziness you were experiencing. Things were out of whack because he was…without.”

There was a brief pause as Lex narrowed her eyes. “This is going to sound crazy coming from me,” she tried to warn. “But sex with his woman grounds a man. It’s like a part of their biological rhythm. When a man commits to a woman spiritually, I believe there’s a supernatural power that exchanges between the two during sex. Ezra explains it better than I ever could, but I get it. I experience it with him. He travels a lot and recently, he’s flown me out with him, even if for a few hours. It’s been hard with Lisa-Mare, but I make the sacrifice because I now understand, I’m a function of his biological rhythm.”

Oh. My. God.

Her words hit me instantly and weightily. 

“What have I been doing?” I more or less asked myself.

Lex snorted. “You’ve been adjusting to the vastness that is your husband. I get that part. Don’t get it twisted: I’m still learning…” She leaned into the mirror and murmured to herself, “and getting spanked along the way.”

I ignored that, suddenly revved up to feel Trent inside of me. God, I’d missed him. And not having to wait until we landed on the island to kick off our honeymoon sounded more and more feasible with this talk of internal biological rhythms. I yearned to be connected to Trent on the most intimate level. My body began to heat in flashes, I was so ready for him.

“Am I really going to do this?” I asked while backing up behind the partition to take off my thong. Tessie was able to pin the train so I could walk around in the gown without it dragging on the floor. No way was I asking her to help me remove my panties. “Will I have like a strike against me for the hell scoreboard for this?”

I needed to know what I was working with.

“Girl, Trent’s your husband already. Besides, far more scandalous affairs have gone down in the Bishop’s Office. Trust.” I peeked my head from the embroidered divider and watched as Lex casually spoke while blotting the side of her mouth in the vanity mirror. “Think of it as you anointing it, or something, against the bad spirits that’re probably still there from before Ezra took over.” She shrugged, not knowing I’d been watching her, frozen in shock. “At least that’s what I do.”

No waaaaaay…

After managing my panties down my leg, under what felt like fifteen pounds of material, I walked out from the partition.

“You know, I have no one to share your off the cuff personality with,” I divulged as I tucked the panties in my garment bag. “Trent would never believe it—no one would ever believe how down to earth you are. And because I want to earn your confidence, I can’t share it. I haven’t even told Trent about you guys expecting again.”

She took a deep breath. “Good. Ezra needed a moment to adjust to it himself. He’s started sharing. I’m sure he’ll tell Trent himself soon enough now.”

“I guess he’s like me, huhn? The timing didn’t work for him?” Their first child, Lisa-Mare, was still so young.

“That would be three of us.” She stood and grabbed her phone from the vanity. “My husband isn’t as mature as I am, so he needed more time.” Lex began tapping away. “Now, go. I’m running interference now.”

It didn’t take much to get me going. I moved to the door and stopped, perplexed. “Wait. How do you know they’re in the Bishop’s Office?”

“That’s where he holds the grooms this close to start time—if he likes them. Ezra can be antisocial with some people. Trent’s probably in there, having his head talked off.”

I frowned, not being able to imagine Trent being bored in a conversation with his pastor.

Opening the door, I winked. “Wish me luck.”

“I’ll do you one better. I’ll wish you two orgasms.”

I sucked in so much air, I choked on my way out the door.