CHAPTER 4
Hyde Park was teeming with families and Emma didn’t care to linger. Ever since she took on the identity of Tomkin’s niece, she’d found solace only in solitude. She had hoped to find the killer by now and honor her family’s memory, but she couldn’t do that with this murderer on the loose.
A little girl ran passed her, her brown curls bouncing up and down. Innocent laughter drifted past Emma and she stilled. Her chest tightened and a maternal emptiness swelled in her womb. When she noticed Lord Tomkin watching, she quickly turned away from the child and schooled her features.
“When all this is over, you too will have a chance to start a family,” he said and smiled.
“Will I?” she asked thoughtfully. A family required what she no longer had to give, the ability to trust another human being and to have their trust whole heartedly. No, she had planned on leaving London once the criminal was caught and start over, perhaps in Italy or even America, where no one knew her.
“With time, you will,” Tomkin said.
With Lord Tomkin’s words, memories she buried returned with relentless force:
“I will not stop you from seeing Michael, my dear girl, but you need to know the truth about him before you proceed further.” Lord Tomkin stepped away from the door and sat down next to her.
“The truth? I don’t understand,” Emma said. For a man of authority and control, she’d never seen him quite so uncertain. “What is it that you are trying to tell me?”
Lord Tomkin sighed and the air in the room was thick with trepidation. She sensed the gravity of what he was going to say to her and dread dawned. Don’t tell me. Perhaps he’s betrothed to another? Or worse, married to—
“Michael is a spy, a trained assassin.”
An assassin? Dread ripped into her because she knew what he would say next.
“What kind of a future would that be for both of you?”
A future with hope. A future filled with new possibilities. He’d made her forget her troubles and hope once again.
“I see the look in your eyes, Emma,” he said. “And I fear you may have lost your purpose.” Tomkin stood and walked around his desk. He held up a sealed vellum in his hand. “Do you know what this is?”
She looked at the sealed letter and shook her head.
“It’s orders from the Prince Regent. At an undisclosed location there is a soldier. He is being held captive and Michael will be ordered to get him out. He leaves tomorrow. Michael will lie and tell you he has business he needs to attend to out of town and you will never know if you will ever see him again.”
“Are you asking me to make a choice?” Her insides rumbled at the thought of never seeing him again.
“I had, to my best of ability, tried to discourage you from taking this route when you came to me for help. Do you remember?” He paused, gazing at her as if she were his own daughter with kindness in his eyes. “I never wished this for you, Emma. This life you have chosen isn’t easy. Staying clear headed and unattached is what keeps Michael alive.”
It was all true, but she was happy to forget. She’d been a distraction to him. The truth was he’d made no promises to her, not a single word about their future.
“It’s no accident that he remains unattached at nearly thirty years of age, my dear girl. Men like him come and go without a moment’s notice for a reason.”
“I think you are mistaken if you think I had any plans for Michael and I.” She bit back the hot tears burning behind her eyes because the instant she said it, she knew it was a lie.
“Don’t you?” he said softly.
“I don’t. You can be sure of that.” The last thing she wanted was to distract Michael from his duty, to get him killed. She could not live with that knowledge.
“There is more. This man Michael is on his way to rescue has a little son in Cumberland. Henry is his name…he’s nearly five. Need I say more?”
A little boy? She raised her hand to stop him. “I understand.” She felt her heart slowly harden with each breath, forcing herself to go numb. Tomkin had informed her from the beginning that if he trained her she must be loyal to him, to her duty to find the killer. But she was utterly content to forget for a brief moment in the sun, to feel again.
“Let him go, Emma,” Tomkin said softly. “By doing so, you are helping Michael and saving lives.”
The little girl giggled, shattering Emma’s thoughts. She found herself smiling, but quickly turned away. The mission was her primary focus and there was no room for anything else. “When we arrive in Tibet, you said we are to find Samuel and deliver the missive.”
Tomkin nodded.
“Who is he?”
“Ahh…that,” he said. “I am unable to reveal that information to you now, but trust that there is a reason for everything I have asked you to do.” He paused to look around the perimeter once more and frowned at the hackney parked nearby. “Keep your wits about you, my dear girl.”
“Do you suspect he will betray us?” Everything was happening too fast. She hadn’t had time to consider the ramifications of their mission to Tibet. Did Michael despise her enough to jilt her and search for the killer on his own?
“He’s one of Wellington’s best and the Regent trusts him implicitly,” he said.
“If the Regent trusts him, why are you concerned?” Emma asked. For a moment he seemed distant, as if he was recalling a memory.
“I believe he is blinded by anger and grief. My fear is he may use whatever means necessary to prove Geoffrey’s innocence.”
She didn’t think he would, but she wasn’t certain now that he knew the truth about her and her intent to foil Geoffrey’s plan. “I understand the need to want justice for the murder of someone you cared for.”
Tomkin nodded. “Yes, but there is a thin line between vengeance and justice, especially when he blames you for Geoffrey.”
“So, is that my mission then? To make sure Michael doesn’t kill the murderer?” she asked. “What makes you think I won’t?”
“It’s not in you, my dear.” He observed her, as though recalling a memory he’d buried.
The thought had occurred to her that there may be a day when she would be faced with such a task. Would she take his life if the situation allowed for it? She shook her head. No matter how angry she was, she didn’t want his blood on her hands. It would make her no better than the man who stripped her of the life she had.
“He is a good soldier,” he said. “He just needs guidance in his grief from someone who has been through grief themselves. Someone with a power to influence him. Someone who is willing to do what is right when the time arises.”
“I see.”
“Deliver the missive together and do whatever you feel necessary to keep him on task.” Tomkin paused for a moment, as if he was contemplating something. Then he said, “I know I’ve said this to you before, but it bears repeating. Seduction has its advantage in persuasion, my dear girl,” he finally added. “Do whatever it takes to keep him on task. Do you understand?”
Seduce Michael? The thought sent hot waves of excitement through her, tempered with a shudder of fear. He was the last person on earth she wanted to seduce and she was certain the feeling was mutual now.
“Am I making an error in asking this of you?” Lord Tomkin said, carefully watching her. “Do you still have feelings for Michael?”
“There is nothing between us, not any longer. Haven’t I proven that to you since you last advised me in that regard?” Even as she spoke, she felt a torch of lie that singed her heart.
He nodded. “Indeed. You have been quite loyal and, truth be told, you’ve been like a daughter to me all these years. I only want the best for you and I think this mission will prove very fruitful for us both. In the end, I believe, you will be very happy with the results.”
“All I want is justice for my parents. That is all I’ve ever wanted.”
“As do I.” Tomkin leaned in towards her. “Smile, my dear,” he whispered in her ear. “We are being watched.”
* * *
The sky rumbled and the dark clouds cast a dreary shadow upon London. Michael sunk deep into the seat inside the hired hackney and sighed, his weightless breaths fogging up the window. A dark gloom blanketed the interior of the carriage, killing what little light remained inside. Michael turned his head and looked out the window. While he had excused himself nearly an hour ago and exited Hyde Park, he didn’t go far. He’d ordered a driver to circle the block or two and return to the entrance. Now, from the grimy window he had a perfect view of the two conversing at the mouth of the park’s entrance.
He looked on.
Just then, Tomkin whispered something in her ear and Emma smiled wide. He leaned in to the window to get a better look at them. Tomkin’s gaze peered in his direction and Michael jerked back as if he’d been caught stealing a sweet morsel at the confectioner.
He waited a minute and looked out the window again. She was nowhere to be seen, but his superior was now walking toward the hackney he’d hired.
Perfect.
He wanted answers to why he had to travel half way around the world with a woman who had quite skillfully duped Society and him. As soon as the Home Secretary was within speaking distance, he opened the door and stepped out.
Lord Tomkin stopped in front of Michael, frowning. “You,” he said. “I thought we had concluded our business.”
“Not quite,” Michael said, tapping the window twice. The vehicle hitched and drove off, the sound of the wheels rumbling faintly in the distance. “If you expect me to protect her, I will need answers.”
“I have told you everything you need to know,” Tomkin said. He nodded politely at the passerby and started to walk toward Mayfair.
Michael followed the Home Secretary. “This isn’t about the mission, not entirely anyway.”
“I see,” he drawled. “Then I can only conclude that your reason for spying on us has something to do with Emma. She is fighting her own demons, Michael. Leave it be.”
The sound of her name sent a myriad of conflicting emotions pumping through his veins.
“What is it you seek?” Tomkin asked, shattering Michael’s thoughts. They continued to stroll down the street and two young, attractive ladies with their maids walked in the opposite direction. Their smiles discreetly widened and Michael politely tilted his head at them and strolled on.
“The truth,” Michael said. “Did you have anything to do with our meeting at the shop that day?” The day he’d met Emma for the first time, it was a particularly lonely afternoon as he had returned from a mission that morning. He felt a strange longing for company, a connection he did not understand. To this day, he couldn’t rid himself of that damned lingering hint of vanilla on her neck, a hint of orange in her mouth.
Michael saw Tomkin’s puzzled expression, but it quickly faded as understanding dawned. “I had no hand in that,” his superior answered. For a reason he did not understand, Lord Tomkin’s answer satisfied him a great deal. Knowing he could never trust her again, he let the matter of their first meeting at Bond Street drop. A good idea since he was now charged with protecting her. “You don’t have to let her get involved in all this. I can certainly take care of the mission on my own,” Michael said.
“She came to me for help. I could not and will not refuse her.” Tomkin paused, the lines of his face deepened with emotion. “I knew her parents since before she was born. You should know she is still grieving the loss of her parents, although she will never admit it. She needs this to move on, to live her life without regret.”
Michael said nothing, Geoffrey’s death still raw in his thoughts. He may not trust her, despise her even, but he understood her need for justice and the need for closure.
“You both lost so much,” his superior said thoughtfully. “Use that to fuel your purpose instead of being angry at her for the choices she’s made.” He paused, observing Michael. “There are those who are born for this kind of business we are in,” his elder said. “You are one of them. She isn’t. And that is why she needs you now. I have done everything in my power to protect her as much as I can.”
“If you truly wanted to protect her, you would never have allowed her to be part of this.”
“Perhaps, but we can’t change the past,” Tomkin sighed. “She is your responsibility now.”
Michael nodded. “I’ve given you my word, haven’t I?”
“Indeed.”