Chapter Twenty-One
“Ethan”
Just because you’re part of a family doesn’t mean you understand them. With my family, that’s especially true. I’ve always found it better to roll however things are, not to question it, avoid disturbing it, insulate myself from being affected by it, and wait for the moment of inevitable—and often not—comprehension of what this or that was about.
I’ve always credited much of my inability to understand what happens in this house with who my parents are, and that most of my siblings are female. Very complex, strong-willed, diversely different, opinionated females. Which brings me to the source of my latest indecipherable moment: what the hell is this?
I wait, trying to play it cool until someone notices me watching them, which isn’t helped by the fact that I can’t shift my gaze from Avery. Her wild cloud of auburn curls looks like she’s just climbed from bed, and if I didn’t know better I’d think what she’s wearing are the kind of loose cotton shorts and shirts she puts on to sleep in.
While on the road, I admit from time to time I’ve popped into her room late at night and early morning just to have the image in my head of how Avery would look climbing in or out of the sheets. A guy likes to add to his fantasies over time when he’s aware they’re never going to be realities, and late-night Avery alone in a hotel room is one of my favorites. Usually a pleasant image in my head, but today anything but.
My heart is now pumping in time with the wrecking ball hitting my temples. My breath sputters. That floor doesn’t feel like it’s beneath me any longer.
Hangover. Waking up unexpectedly in my parents’ house with a huge chunk of time missing from my memory. And the girl who stomped on my heart by hooking up with Eric sitting beside my sister, Krystal, and chattering away with my dad like they’re the oldest of friends and she belongs here.
I’ve lived this moment before.
Tara.
No, not going there.
What the fuck is this? What am I seeing? Letting things roll without hitting me; no, not happening today.
“At last, our late sleeper,” a gentle voice whispers, accompanied by a hand on my arm, and I drag my eyes from Avery to find my mom standing close to me. I’m also aware Chrissie’s movement across the room has pulled all the stares to me.
I drag a hand along the top of my head, determined to get a handle on me. “Khloe said you wanted to speak to me,” I say, and Chrissie’s eyes widen with a flash because that came out all kinds of wrong—angry and cold—and, fuck, even I could hear it.
My mom cocks her head, studying me. “Sounds like someone climbed out of the wrong side of the bed.” My face slowly warms even before she finishes.
“What the heck did you do to yourself last night, Ethan?” Krystal mutters, those lively blue eyes of hers laughing at me.
Great.
Try to speak.
Something to get the focus off me fast.
“Nothing you haven’t done a time or two. Is there breakfast? Coffee? Anything?”
Chrissie laughs. “You want breakfast, get out here before noon. You know the house rules. No special meals, not ever. We’ve got before-dinner appetizers and margaritas.”
My stomach turns at the mention of alcohol, and isn’t any more receptive to the giant nacho platter they’re hovering around. Yeah, would have passed on that even if I didn’t have to get close to Avery to grab some.
Fuck, why is she here? “You wanted to talk to me?” I keep my eyes purposely locked on my mother.
Her golden brows pucker. “You OK?” This time her voice isn’t gentle, it’s probing.
No, I’m not OK. I shrug. “Yeah, great, Mom. Still groggy from sleep, I think.”
“Then say hello to your sisters and brothers-in-law properly, like a kid that was raised with manners.”
Wonderful. Now I have to go over to the cluster around the island. Thus far, I’d avoided it. Mom giving an order means no can do now.
As I amble into the room, wanting nothing more than to get out of here as quickly as humanly possible, I avoid those impish brown eyes following my every move.
I drop a kiss on each one of my sisters’ heads and nod with my chin at Bobby and Jacob, the husbands.
Once done, I bypass Avery and go to the fridge, pretending to search for something though I don’t really want anything. “There, Mom. Happy? If this is the reason you sent Khloe to shout me out of bed too soon, can I go back to sleep now?”
“If that’s what you consider manners these days, no, not happy,” Chrissie murmurs, annoyed enough that I glance over my shoulder and run straight into Avery’s eyes.
If I’d been confused by the cause of my mom’s criticism—and I hadn’t been—the look on Avery’s face would have clarified things. Worse, I’m confident no one in the room is missing what I’m seeing.
She’s staring at me like she’s girl-hurt I haven’t said anything to her yet. Which is out of line, in my opinion, because why would she think I’d say anything to her after choosing Eric over me? My family or not in the room, she can’t expect things to be normal between us. Not after that.
I reach into the fridge for a vitamin water to have something else than her to look at. “Sorry, Avery, if I was rude. Not intended.”
“Intended or not, you did it well,” Khloe jeers.
Great, now all my sisters are glaring at me like I’m an asshole, but I’m not the asshole here. The asshole is on a beach in Brazil or Paraguay or wherever Dad sent Eric.
It’s Avery who laughs and saves me. “Stop picking on your brother. Be nice. This must be challenging for Ethan. He’s always a bear hibernating in his cave the day after being on stage. Pull the bear from the cave early, you get what you get. I’m surprised you girls don’t know that. Don’t worry about me. I’m used to it.”
Krystal laughs. “Are you sure you don’t have my brothers confused? Ethan is never the bear. He’s always the rabbit.”
Oh fuck. Someone tell me my sister didn’t say that.
Avery smiles. “No, I don’t get the brothers confused. Ethan’s a bear after show night. Sad, but true.”
That Avery’s taking up for me, I don’t like at all. “Very cute. But not accurate. I don’t like to be disturbed the next day because it’s the one day I’m never in my cave alone. Well, usually.”
My sisters’ eyes flare wide over mouths shaped in an O, since I’m confident that’s the closest thing to a lewd comment I’ve ever said in front of my mother. Well, other than that time when I was eight that got me grounded for a week because Krystal dared me to say “cunt” where Mom could hear. It was stupid to do that, because even benign guy talk crosses the line in Mom’s book. Which is another thing on the I don’t understand my family list because look at who she’s married to.
Fuck.
I tense, aware that one’s going to play badly even before my mom swats me on my arm. “I don’t need to know things like that, Ethan. Save it for your father, please.”
My embarrassment in front of Avery is complete. I’ve been reprimanded by my mother for being a guy. By this time next week, my ex-wet dream and Chrissie should be best friends.
Cringing inside, I chance a glimpse at Avery as I twist off the top from my drink. She’s red-cheeked, staring at the counter, lower teeth cutting into upper lip like she does when she’s upset by something.
That reaction I didn’t expect, and I study her for a moment before my dad points at the vacant chair.
“This is a family discussion, not happy hour,” he states. “Ethan, sit down.”
Consistent with how things are unfolding, the only vacant chair around the massive marble breakfast bar happens to be next to Avery.
The hits just keep rolling.
Being treated like a kid in front of her.
Being ordered to sit.
The girl being Avery this time and not Tara.
Ding. Ding. Ding.
Ringing a bell, Ethan?
Fuck, I hope Avery and Eric are not what we’re going to talk about over drinks and Mexican food. No, that’s dumb. How would they know about Avery hooking up with Eric last night instead of me, ruining my life again?
It’s probably just the usual post-Eric-shitstorm family meeting. Abridged details of him taking off, preceding one of my favorite types of family discussion: the problems he’s undoubtedly left behind. Whatever Avery’s purpose here—I’m sure she’s involved somehow because why else would she be here?—she’s been included in the family circle because of Eric and not me.
Yep, I’m about to go through another exciting chapter of let’s all pull together to fix the mess left by your fucked-up brother. I wouldn’t be surprised if Kaley had a list prepared to delegate. Crud, I don’t want to do this. Not now. Not ever again.
Sitting beside Avery through that—hell no. “I’m dead on my feet today, Dad. And my back and arms hurt like hell. Have a heart. Sitting with the nachos—not happening.” I go to the nearest couch and stretch out, fluffing a pillow behind my head. “I can listen from here.”
Kaley glares at me. “You’re just determined to be obnoxious and difficult today. Stop giving the folks a hard time.”
There. I’ve run the table. Oldest sister lecturing from the cheap seats, and in under five minutes I’ve annoyed every member of my family. Eric couldn’t have done it faster. But then, Kaley’s easy to piss off because she takes her role as third-in-command too seriously. She’s always been so much like Pop.
I grab my phone from my pocket and say without looking at her, “No, I’m determined to be comfortable. This isn’t going to take long, is it?”
The words no sooner finish than I grow impatient with myself. My foul behavior feels weird, and I’m sure seems strange to my family. Kaley’s right. I’m acting like a jerk, and no rationale in my head—i.e. Avery—makes that all right.
I need to get a grip, ASAP. Focusing on my messages seems better than giving full attention to the Eric discussion. Swipe, read. Swipe, read.
“There’s going to be quite a bit of press at the end of the driveway—” Damn, my dad’s voice penetrates all thought. I rub my eyes and lock on my screen, struggling to read a text. “I don’t know how long, but until things get resolved, not one word to anyone…”
My brows lower. It’s confusing we’re having a meeting about this, because not talking outside of the family has been drilled into my head since birth.
Same old speech.
Say no evil where it can land in print, and seriously, did I really have to haul my ass out of bed for this? Crap, jerk mood still on board.
I feel Krystal watching me, and it doesn’t surprise me when my cell vibrates with a notification a few seconds later.
Krystal: What’s going on? Why are you sitting alone? Is it Eric :--( R u OK?
Me: Nothing going on. I’m fine. What’s Avery doing here?
Krystal: I thought Dad talked to you last night. About Eric and everything.
Me: He did. Left some things out. Why’s she here?
Krystal: She was with Eric last night. You know, when he left. Mom wanted to talk to her so Dad brought her home. Then out of nowhere she gets an invite to stay at the house and write about Dad in some book she’s doing.
Me: What are you talking about? Avery’s not writing a book. And if she were, why would Dad do that? He hates that shit.
Krystal: Duh. ***rolling eyes*** How could you not understand what this is? How long have you been a member of this family? You should recognize Dad’s Eric ex-girlfriend screwed over treatment.
My fingers pause over the keys because whatever Avery is, she’s not Eric’s girlfriend. I’d have known. Seen signs. That’s not something Eric would have kept from me or I’d have missed.
Out of my peripheral, I catch a fast look at the scene around the breakfast bar.
Me: What’s she doing on her phone? Texting or blogging?
Krystal: Who? Avery or Khloe?
Me: Avery!
Krystal: Why?
Me: She’s a blogger. I don’t like that Dad’s talking and she’s on her phone. She works 24/7. When the phone’s in her hand, she’s blogging.
Krystal: Crap. Well, that’s just dandy. And she’s living with us. Hold on. I’ll try to peek.
I watch as Krystal leans across Avery to grab a napkin. Damn, my sister is good, almost as sneaky as when we were kids.
Krystal: No big deal. Texting someone named Emmy.
Me: What about?
I press send and then mentally kick myself. That habit has to end, going drone over Avery’s screen. And fuck, now I’ve got my sister doing it.
I’m about to tell Krystal don’t bother checking but I see her moving across Avery again, this time refilling her plate, and what flashes in her eyes before she plops on her chair makes me want to know what she read.
Krystal: Damn. Her fingers are fast. Didn’t catch everything. Something about Eric being intense last night and how she’s worried about him.
Me: Is that it?
Krystal: No. Not telling you the rest.
Me: Don’t leave me hanging.
Another chat box on my cell lights up.
Tara: E, text me back. I’ve been trying to reach Eric for 2 days. No show for visitation. Can’t reach him. Seriously worried. He always shows for Hana.
Me: None of the fam called U?
Tara: Why are you asking me that? Called me about what? Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Something’s happen to him, hasn’t it?
I stare down at the screen in disbelief. Fuck, no one in the family called Tara so she’d know what’s going on. I can’t believe my fucking eyes. Jeez, who gives a fuck if they’re in the process of divorce? Her and Hana are family, and always will be.
Me: Nothing’s happen to him. He’s fine.
Tara: Don’t be that way, E. I can tell when you’re not telling me things.
Me: I’m at the folks’. You going to be at your place later? I can swing by.
Tara: Yes.
Me: Don’t know how long I’ll be tied up. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Everything is all right, Tara. I’ll explain when I get there.
New text and I open it.
Bobby: Jake and I are hitting The Cove for drinks after this. You look like you could use one. This is out of control. You in?
Me: Can’t do. Plans.
Bobby: Fuck that. Don’t bail on us. Have some brews. We don’t get to do that shit often enough. You owe it to your bro-in-laws. The married guys in the room don’t ever get out alone.
Me: Can’t do it. U good for surfing tomorrow?
I hop back into my chat with Krystal.
Me: Are you going to tell me what she’s texting her sister or not?
Krystal: Jeez, don’t be so demanding.
Me: What is she telling Emmy?
Krystal: ***growling at you*** Stuff about my brother I don’t want to know.
I lift my face from my phone to lock her in a narrow gaze. She makes a face, but eventually starts typing again. I watch the bouncing ball. Waiting. Waiting.
Krystal: Going on and on about the amazing sex they had last night. Happy now? I think I’m going to puke. She’s very graphic.
It feels like I can’t breathe. Like there’s a motherfucking anvil on my chest. It’s not like I was in doubt they hooked up, but right up until now it was worked out in my head that it was meaningless.
Eric didn’t just nail her last night. Avery wouldn’t be dumping details to Emmy if it were meaningless sex. Whatever she has going with my brother is way more than that.
Without thinking, I leave the sofa and head toward the door.
“Ethan, we’re not done,” my dad says at my back.
I don’t look at him. I can’t. She’s there sitting at the island, too. “Well, I’m done. I’ve got a date. I’m outta here.”
I head down the hall to my room to grab my shoes. I’m being ridiculous. I know that. Especially that last piece of bullshit about a date.
It was stupid to say that.
Avery’s with Eric.
She couldn’t care less.