Chapter Thirty-Five
“Ethan”
Avery’s fingers tighten around mine as we stare through the glass doors into the backyard.
I can feel that she’s nervous about this, which surprises me since she’s always at ease no matter where she is—it’s one of the things I love most about her; how confident she is in who she is—and I’m wondering what’s up with the out-of-nowhere nerve attack. It’s not like she didn’t have plenty of time with my family the last three months to know what she was getting into before she moved in with me.
I glance down to find her practically curled around my arm. Maybe she’s just jittery because we’re something official now and that makes my family something official to her. I sure as fuck had my share of nerves and babbled sirs when Sean and Skyler dropped off her things at my house, and I’ve known them for years.
Yep, that’s probably all that’s going on with Avery. It’s an adjustment for both of us to be “us” now with the people we love.
She eases more into my arm. “This is dinner?”
I bite back a grin. “Uh-huh. This is early dinner at my folks’. Strange, isn’t it? I don’t think I’ve ever watched it before. It’s like one of those pictures: which one doesn’t belong. I’ll never get used to seeing my dad barbecuing. He probably does it to make my mom happy—Grandpa Jack used to throw some epic barbecues—but nope, nothing’s going to make Alan look California casual next to the grill. He should give the tongs to one of my bros-in-law. Much better visual. Though Pop does know how to cook.”
Her giggles come in breathy waves that warm my insides. Those comments about my dad were dumb, I knew it when I said them, but I did succeed in making Avery laugh. Some of her tension has lessened a bit.
“Well, thanks for telling me now that we’re here that early dinner means pool party and barbecue. I think I’m overdressed.”
“You look beautiful. The dress is fine. Your legs go forever. I love seeing them. You took my breath away when you walked out of the bedroom wearing that. And like hell was I going to ruin it for me by suggesting you change your clothes.”
She chides me with her eyes, but her cheeks are a pretty pink. “Yeah, but you could have seen them in shorts also, probably more of them than this dress shows, and I’d be happier. New addition to the rules list: You’ve gotta tell me junk like this so I fit in when we’re with your family.”
“You fit in just fine. They love you already. Probably more than they love me.” I kiss her on the forehead. “I’m the one who should be nervous. You’re only the second girlfriend I’ve ever brought home.”
Her smile turns happy. “Really?” And I’m glad she didn’t ask who was the first. Not that she doesn’t know about Tara and me. But I’d rather not think of that or anything other than Avery.
I brush her cheeks with my thumbs as I hold her gaze. “Yep. And you’re the first girl I’ve been serious enough about to ask her to live with me. That’s a first first for me.”
My using her phrase first first brings a sparkle to her milk-chocolate eyes. “A first first for me, too.”
Her lips part, and hell no, I’m not passing on that invitation. I cover her mouth with mine, drinking in the feel of her lips and body and all that she is for me. If we were anywhere else but my parents’ house, I’m sure this kiss would end in bed.
I pull back and she catches her lower lip in her teeth. “Hold that thought,” I order.
Now she’s smirking. “Don’t have to. That’s pretty much the only thought you have lately. If you forget, it’s going to come back all on its own without me reminding you.”
I watch her pulse jump as I run my hand down the line of her hip. “What can I say? I’m crazy about you. Can’t keep control of my hands or my thoughts.”
She presses her cheek into my bicep. “Me, too. I know why people say love is crazy now. I’m crazy with you.”
“Good crazy or bad crazy?” I ask, opening the patio door for her, but I’m just joking.
“Oh, crazy good.”
I take her hand and we step out onto the back patio.
“There they are,” my mom exclaims loudly, rushing across to us. She kisses me first, and it pleases me that she then kisses Avery’s cheek. “We thought you’d changed your mind and weren’t joining us.”
“Couldn’t do that, Mom. Just got a late start.” Smiling, I fight back the thoughts of what we were doing that made us late, and the flush on Avery’s cheeks tells me she’s thinking about the hot shower sex, too.
“Well, I’m glad you showed,” Chrissie chirrups. “Why don’t you get Avery something to drink? You know the house rules on early dinner. Everyone serves themselves. I hope you’re hungry. The food’s almost ready.”
My mom’s festive mood makes me glad we didn’t bail on this. I half wanted to stay home and nap after the shower, but Avery wouldn’t let me. And Chrissie looks really happy over something, so, nope, no regretting coming back on the grid with my family.
I’m not sure if it’s Eric being out of danger or Avery and me being happy, but, fuck, what does it matter? Mom looks like her perky self again.
Mom flashes one of her silly expressions at me before she guides Avery over to where my dad is, and nothing could have pleased me more because how quickly Chrissie’s latched onto Avery confirms she likes her.
I go to the outdoor tile-and-granite bar beside the pool where Bobby and Jake are sitting on stools apart from the madness, talking.
“Hey, there’s my AWOL brother-in-law,” Jacob teases, holding out his hand. “Asshole, you left Bobby and me outnumbered by your sisters once you split with Avery.”
“You’re just jealous you didn’t think of going over the wall yourself,” I taunt back, grabbing a beer for me and a sparkling water for Avery. “Don’t blame me if you couldn’t figure out a way to escape bunker-style living.”
Bobby’s gaze fixes on me, and he nods approvingly. “You’re looking good, E. Life must be treating you well.”
“No complaints, Bobby.”
Jacob grins, his gaze shifting to Avery. “Yeah, I can see how you’d have no complaints, E. Won’t be long before you’re an old married man like us.”
I laugh, twisting the cap off my beer. “Well, something to think about in the future, I guess.”
“Hold up. What’d I miss?” Bobby asks, leaning forward on his chair. “It’s that serious between you two? Is that what the girls are always chattering about? You and Avery getting hitched?”
I shrug. “Couldn’t tell you what my sisters talk about, and I won’t tell you what me and Avery talk about. But we’re living together. Seeing how that goes before we decide anything.”
Jacob leans around me and they exchange a look.
“Living together, huh?” Bobby says. “Yep, you’re getting married soon. Accept it. If she’s got half your closet, it’s a done deal.”
I shake my head as they laugh, and it’s not worth telling them that if this is the best they can do giving me shit they’re failing. After three weeks, I expected better from them given how Avery and I cut out without a word to anyone. I also don’t tell them that I have every intention of marrying Avery, once I can convince her it’s something we should do.
We sip our beers and silently stare out at my family.
“So things have been going all right with my folks?” I ask.
Bobby looks at me, surprised. “Things have been going great. Staying in the ’Sades and having family time. Good for all of us, I think. Chrissie and Alan really needed this, and despite the reason we’re here, it’s good we did this for them.”
“Hey, grab me another beer, E,” Jacob asks, and I lean across the bar to get him one.
I twist the cap off the bottle and give it to him. “So my Mom’s been doing well?”
Jacob’s brows lift. “Real good. Both of your parents are a lot less stressed than when we got here. They look like them again. Eric successfully finishing rehab is like a giant weight has been pulled off them. They’re laughing all the time and up on each other every second of the day since Carson gave them the good news about Eric getting a ninety-day chip and released from the program.”
I grimace as a visual, of the kind you can never fully get rid of when it’s your parents, flashes in my head from Jacob’s all up in each other comment.
Bobby leans around Jake to look at me. “Oh, yeah, be thankful you missed it. Though it is enviable how into each other they both are. It makes me chuckle every time your dad says, God, I love that woman. Like he needs to tell anyone that.”
We laugh, but then my mind skips like a record with a scratch on it, repeating over and over a single word I didn’t pick up the first time around: rehab.
What?
Eric went into rehab?
“Jacob, what the hell are you talking about?” I say, interrupting him chuckling. “Are you telling me Eric didn’t leave the country? He’s been in rehab the entire time?”
Jacob’s mouth drops. “Oh fuck. Your dad hasn’t talked to you yet, has he?”
Bobby stares at him, annoyed, and now I’m pissed because I’ve felt it, that something was going on here I didn’t know, and how my brothers-in-law are staring at each other confirms it. There are some things you know without being told, like when your family’s been up to something and have left you out of it.
It doesn’t matter that I don’t know what.
It doesn’t matter that I don’t know why.
It’s one of those awful moments when everything makes sense even without knowing the details. This was another fucking intervention. The bullshit about Eric fleeing the country and the three months of us living here. Nothing more, if Eric’s been in rehab the entire time.
I’m furious without even knowing why they left me out of what was going on. It’s enough to light my fuse that my family didn’t include me in what they were doing.
My gaze drills into Bobby. “Don’t jerk me around, dude. You’ve all been lying to me for months, haven’t you? Why did the family lie to me about Eric? Make us live bunker-style and feed me that bullshit story about my brother being in some kind of trouble that was dangerous to us all? Where’s my brother?”
Bobby stands up. “Calm down, E. It’s not a bad thing what’s been going on in this house. It’s a good thing.”
“Fuck, don’t patronize me. Why don’t you fill me in so we can all know what kind of good thing’s been going on around here? Where’s Eric? He’s my brother. I have a right to know.”
Jacob’s on his feet now. “Why? So you can go off half-cocked and jump into the mix? You do that, Eric won’t ever finish his recovery. He’s got ninety days under his belt. When was the last time your brother was clean ninety days straight? He’s doing well. That should be all that matters to you, and if you interfere now he’ll start fucking up again because you’ll be at his side like always, cleaning up his messes, and he’ll make more messes, and that shit’s gotta stop, Ethan.”
His words, heavy with criticism of me when I’ve carried the load of my brother more than any of them ever have, amplifies my anger. “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, Jacob.”
Bobby angles his body so we’re face-to-face. “The situation wasn’t good, Ethan. It needed to be stopped. And instead of being pissed off at your parents, you should thank them that they care enough to do a very hard thing for Eric and you. They’re amazing people. I won’t let you go off on them. Don’t tell me what you have a right to, Ethan. You already have more than most people do, from where I’m standing. Be thankful that they love you, and let it go.”
My face is red with a burn by the time Bobby’s finished. Bobby doesn’t get angry and has never gotten in my face that way before.
Avery’s laughter draws my gaze to her. She’s standing with my dad, smiling and talking, and I just know by looking at them.
My gut twists tighter. “Is Avery in on it? The intervention and the bullshit the family’s been feeding me? Does she know where Eric is and what’s been going on? Has she been lying to me, too?”
“Fuck, E, you want to tear into Avery next?” Jacob snaps, blocking me with his body from moving from the bar. “When you get mad you’re like your father. You can’t hear a thing. Do yourself a favor. You don’t want to fuck this up with her, any more than you want to fuck up what your parents are trying to do for your brother. Pull your dad aside. Talk to him privately. Get your head straight first. Then you talk to Avery later about what she knows and doesn’t know. But no way am I letting you go off on her in the middle of a party. Once you talk to Alan I don’t think you’ll be angry with her any longer.”
Instead of calming me, that speech does anything but because it basically confirms my suspicions. I put down my beer and stare across the pool at my father and the girl I love, colluding together to shut me out and lie to me.
It feels like depth charges are going off inside me.
Over and over.
How the fuck could my family betray me like this?
How the fuck could Avery be in on it and lie to me?
For three weeks I’ve been pouring out my questions to her about what was happening with my brother, my worries, my suspicions, and she didn’t say a word. It makes me wonder if I even know her.
“You stay out of my ex-relationships, and I’ll stay out of your marriage, Jacob,” is all I say before I push between them and head toward the grill.
When I reach them, I can’t even look at my father. I grab on to Avery’s arm, and when she glances at me, I fight through the rock in my throat and say, “Get your stuff. Now. We’re leaving.”
The color drains from Avery’s face as her brows crinkle, and I can feel my dad’s heavy stare on me, but, fuck, I’m not looking at him.
“Ethan, what’s wrong?” The alarm in her voice only ups my internal chaos because, fuck, how could she even ask me that?
My jaw flexes and unflexes. “I don’t want to get into this here. We’re leaving.”
Her eyes flash—she’s worried and looks guilty—only now I know why. Why she fleetingly stares at me with that anxious pucker in her brow and why it’s felt like she’s been keeping something from me. “I should have told you. Let me explain—” she whispers brokenly.
“No, I don’t think you can and I don’t want to hear an explanation,” I bark. “When we get back to my house, you pack up your shit and get out of there.”
“Son…”
I lock my angry glare on Alan. “Stay out of this, Pop. You’ve done enough to fuck up my life for today. Eric’s right. We’ve been fucked up from the day you became a member of this family. You should have just stayed away like you did the first six years of my life.”
The gasp behind me is my mother’s, and Alan’s black eyes burn. “Perhaps, if this is the way you’ve learned to talk to a woman and your father in front of your family.”
That sends a new heat across my flesh to join the blast Bobby gave me. “Is that what you call us? A family? Not exactly my word for us. And maybe Avery should have taken me seriously when I said I wanted to leave and not get into this here.”
Heavy silence surrounds us.
I stare down at her. “Are you leaving with me or not, Avery?”
Khloe sprints from her table across the pavement, planting herself between me and my soon-to-be-ex mistake. “She leaves this house with you over my dead body. What the hell’s the matter with you, Ethan? I swear to God I hardly recognize you anymore. What bug do you have up your ass this time? What injustice do you think has been done to you today? Oh yeah, I know what this is. It’s Ethan thinking everyone’s been unfair to him day. What’s unfair is you yelling at your pregnant girlfriend in front of us all and thinking it’s all right to. I don’t think I like you very much anymore.”
Pregnant? I fix on Avery’s stricken expression and it feels like the cement truck is back on my chest. “What do you mean pregnant? Avery, what the hell is my sister talking about?”
Khloe’s glossy lips part in a wide O. She looks at Avery, anxious. “I’m sorry. I thought you would have told Ethan by now.”
Avery’s face is scarlet red, her eyes glassy with held-back tears. “Ethan, I’m getting my things. Can we just not talk about stuff here?”
I shake my head. “No. This one we talk about here, Avery. This one we clear up in front of my family since I’m pretty sure we haven’t been together long enough for you to know if you’re pregnant by me, so why don’t you explain why Khloe thinks you are? How many lies are being told in this fucking house?”
Khloe shoves her angry face into mine. “Oh, don’t you even dare try that, Ethan. Three months is plenty of time for a girl to know she’s pregnant. And I believe her when she says it’s yours. I hate when guys do this. Be a jerk, but don’t you dare do the this kid isn’t mine bullshit. Not in front of me.”
I stare at Avery in anguish and disbelief. Three months? If she’s pregnant, the kid isn’t mine, and I’m pretty sure I know whose it is. Another parting fuck you from my brother.
It feels like the ground isn’t beneath me any longer and there’s nothing holding me to earth. “Fuck, Avery. Didn’t you think you should have told me Eric knocked you up before he left? Or did you think it wouldn’t matter to me?”
“Eric?” Her wide brown eyes stare up at me, confused and stricken. “How could you say that to me?”
“Because we sure as hell haven’t been together long enough for it to be mine.”
Her body turns static with anger. “Three months ago was the night after the gig at the Bowl, Ethan. Do you want to redo your math before I walk from this house and never speak to you again?”
Fuck her. We both know who she was with that night.
“Don’t have to. I’m out of here, Avery.”
Her chin lifts and her eyes lock on me like a laser. “You walk out now, Ethan, you better keep walking. I won’t forgive you for hurting me a second time. You won’t ever see me again.”
“Good. We understand each other. I’m outta here.”