“It’s okay, Jameson,” I whispered, now crawling toward him on the bed.
I reached for his hand, afraid he might reject my attempt to hold him. His eyes burned into mine. It was when our fingers laced together that my stomach turned.
“I wanted to see some stupid crush,” he whispered, his voice choking against forming tears. “And so I sent Sam up to the apartment to die. Sam died because I wanted to see a stupid girl. Chelsea Malone. They’d been waiting in there for a chance to get us all. They were waiting for Sam and me after they killed my mom.”
“How did you escape?”
“My mom had a safety button on her desk at home. Pressing it went straight to the police. I guess she had pressed it quickly enough, because the police got there as I was walking toward Chelsea and threw me in their car, no questions and no hesitation.”
“And you’ve been Jameson ever since.”
“Witness protection or whatever.” Holding my hand, he reached for the photograph I still held. “It was my fault.”
“Not at all, Jameson. This was not your fault. You were a child! You couldn’t have prevented any of this. It was your stepfather’s fault. Where is he?”
“We don’t know.”
“We? Judge Kerry? He’s not your uncle.”
“Nope. I never met him until I went in the system for protection. They placed me with him because he’s a former Marine FBI guy with all the money and technology to keep a wanted orphan safe from my stepfather and his debtors.”
“How do you know all of this, Jameson? You were only fourteen.”
“I lie about my age.” He paused. “There’s a lot I have to lie about.”
“H-How old are you?”
“Nineteen.”
“Still,” I pressed, “you were just a teenager. How do you know all of the details about your mom and the reason she died?”
“I asked. Thomas told me.”
“Thomas?”
“Judge Kerry,” he corrected. “Soph, why did you run from me tonight?”
“Why are you telling me all of this now, Jameson?” I ignored his inquiry, focusing on the vomit of emotions he poured in front of me. It was so much to take in at once after the back and forth, running from Jameson, almost drowning…
“I didn’t want to lose you again.” His head hung with sealed eyes, appearing wounded and vulnerable. “I owe it to you to tell you everything. Soph, I have told you how I can’t control myself around you. I’ve never had someone like you, someone whose existence calls me to divulge everything in my soul. To wish you didn’t provoke my heart so much would be dishonest.”
“You feel bad because I almost drowned, and that’s why you’re telling me everything? That’s you trying to guilt me into being here.”
“If I didn’t honestly care, Soph, if these feelings I have for you were superficial…” He pulled my face toward him as he sought words. “…you wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t have cared what you know or didn’t know. But Soph, you need to know this about me. You need to understand how I have tried for years to keep my past a secret, hidden from anyone. You need to get what you’re doing to me, and now you’re in, and we can’t let go of one another even if we wanted to. And I don’t want to. Ever.”
“Ever.” I swallowed, observing his nodding head. “Okay. Then don’t. Ever.”
My eyes lifted toward his, responding to the radiance as he brought his face closer to me. I could feel his pulse, the hum as frantic as my own, while Jameson’s lips crashed against mine. It took away my breath, leaving my body in a stupor, clinging to the tingle that danced along my mouth once he sat down at my feet. I watched Jameson without sound, as his thumb grazed my bottom lip, softening the pleasant burn, his forehead pressed against mine.
“Ever,” he whispered with the hint of a smile that quickly faded. “I didn’t mean to frighten you, Soph. I get that’s why you ran. I want you to know that I would never hurt you. I’m done hurting you. The thought of your sorrow or pain is enough to kill me.”
“Jameson,” I sighed, “please stop.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I need to let my aunt know I’m here. She’s probably freaking out.”
“Thomas already called her,” Jameson reassured me, “when he and Elizabeth left us in the living room. She knows. She also knows you’re not going anywhere until the storm rides itself out.”
I couldn’t help but blush, wondering what Jules thought of me running out and spending the night at Jameson’s house.
“Don’t hide.” He chuckled, taking my hands from my burning cheeks. “I think it’s cute.”
The lights in Jameson’s room flickered before extinguishing entirely. The darkness that usually suffocated me was enticing. I pressed my head against his shoulder, gently forcing Jameson’s weight into the mattress while I snuggled against him. His right arm wrapped around me, securing me at his side, and I finally let myself exhale, not caring about the quiet tears that trickled from my eyes. We were silent, but for the quiet hum of our breathing.
“What do we do now?” My question pulled him from a trance.
“We wait out the storm.”
“No.” I sat up, hovering over him. “What do we do now? Now that I know you aren’t who you say you are…now that I know.”
“Oh.” Jameson’s head shook, probably disappointed that I’d returned the conversation to this topic. “I don’t know right now. We’ll make a plan.”
“A plan,” I repeated, attempting to comprehend the level of extreme trouble in which I now floated.
Jameson’s knuckles grazing my cheek pulled me from any thoughts. “But for now? For now, we just exist.”
“Exist,” I repeated his words, tasting and reflecting on their flavor in my mind.
“I won’t let anything happen to you, Soph. I promise to protect you.”
***
Jameson’s words lingered in my mind, swirling like the waves of the storm beyond his bedroom walls, and I let them stay there in haunting limbo until my thoughts returned to why I had even gone to his house in the first place.
“Jameson…” Something clicked as I was comfortably wound inside of his blankets. “…why does Simon have those pictures?”
I watched him on the other side of the room as he pulled his shirt over his head and dropped it on the floor before changing into a tight, black t-shirt. He scratched his fingers through his sun-kissed brown hair, combing it back as he seemed to internally debate his response. The peculiar glow from three flashlights seemed to light him for a beautiful theatrical production.
“Simon sort of has a secret life too,” he began as he climbed back into bed next to me. “He works with the Department of Justice.”
“He sells houses.”
“Yeah, he does that here in Florida, but he also works with the Department of Justice to find places for people…people like me.”
“Did he know we knew each other? Did he know you were here?”
“I don’t think he did at first.” Jameson shrugged, his eyes were strained with exhaustion. “I’m sure it clicked as soon as Thomas and Elizabeth introduced me as their nephew. He doesn’t know my story, and I hope he never does, but he knows who I am to the Kerrys.”
His left arm draped over his eyes as he continued speaking to me about Simon. Through the glow of our flashlights, my eyes wandered to Jameson’s stomach, defined in detail by his fitted shirt, and watched every hypnotizing lift and release as he breathed.
“You need sleep, Soph.” Jameson crawled up, barely awake, and began moving from the mattress.
“Wait.” I pulled on the hem of his shirt. “You’re not staying?”
“No.” His smile quickly flirted with his lips before fading. “You need some space.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Soph.” He laughed, a delicate sound I had missed. “All of the things we talked about tonight and everything you’ve gone through in the last few hours…”
“I can handle it, Jameson.”
“You amaze me.” His head moved toward mine, lingering in the space before me. “Everything that’s come to light and you are so strong.”
“I don’t want you to leave me. I don’t want to be alone. Please?”
“Okay.” His smile was comforting, “Let me just brush my teeth. I’ll be right back.”
I nodded, eagerly waiting for the comforting weight against me in his soft bed. I watched him disappear into the attached bathroom and close the door before sinking back into the heavenly pillows and featherbed. My hair was still slightly damp, but the dangerous exhaustion that overwhelmed me paid no mind to minor details and quickly took me under, forcing sleep before Jameson returned to bed.