Chapter Seventeen
Isabel and Hadley sat in the courtyard two evenings later, enjoying the last of the warm temperatures before winter would creep in. The night sky overhead looked cobalt and calm, which juxtaposed nicely with the swirling complications of Isabel’s heart and mind. She utilized the serenity of the evening as a much-needed decompression from a week riddled with debilitating panic attacks. She did her best to understand their source and what, exactly, had her crouched in closets, restrooms, and her car waiting for the terror to pass. The best she could come up with was the night she’d spent with Taylor and how fantastic it had been. For the first time in as long as she could remember, there was someone in her life who she could truly see herself falling for.
It was exciting and scary and wonderful and awful at the exact same time because she wasn’t quite sure how to manage the risk. If the new job had brought the first wave of attacks, she’d say her relationship with Taylor had taken them to a whole new level.
It had her concerned, to say the least.
In addition to her own problems, her work week hadn’t been so hot either. Scruffy had argued against every suggestion anyone had for him, making the process a lengthy one. While Isabel adored her, Kathleen didn’t have the courage to go head-to-head with Scruffy, leaving them sorely lacking in the leadership department.
Hadley, similarly, had worked a full day at Silhouette doing inventory, a task she apparently hated more than rain on weekends. She had her foot resting flat on the edge of the couch and did her toenails in a striking bright blue while they chatted.
“Your outfit the other night, was it a hit?” Hadley asked. “Since I couldn’t be there, you owe me at least a few details in payback.”
Isabel smiled as she realized once again how very important fashion was to Hadley Cooper. “The dress. The look. It was all well received. It turns out, your sense of style was not oversold.”
“What did they say? Tell me what they said.”
“Well, the nod to old-school Hollywood was lost on no one.” She chose to omit the snarky comment from Aspen and spare Had’s feelings, as it had more to do with taking a cheap shot at Isabel than the dress itself.
“What did Taylor think? I think our target audience carries the most weight.”
Isabel looked skyward and concentrated on hiding the blush she felt threatening. Damn it, she was losing that battle handily. “I believe the word ‘beautiful’ was used more than once.”
Hadley placed a hand over her heart. “Well, of course it was. She’s so into you, Iz. I could tell on the beach, and this is just further confirmation.”
Maybe it was because Hadley had already become such a great friend in a short amount of time, but the words fell from her lips before she’d even decided to say them. “I stayed over.”
Hadley stared at her for several long moments and slowly placed the bottle of nail polish on the table. “I’m sorry. Did you just say that you stayed at Taylor’s house that night? With her? You slept with Taylor? Had,” she glanced around and then whispered, “sex?”
“Aww, you’re cute. You can’t say the word.”
Hadley balked. “Can too. Sex.” Only she whispered it again. “Damn it.”
Isabel laughed. “I’ve never met anyone who couldn’t say ‘sex.’ I have to write this into a character somewhere.” She typed a quick note into her phone.
“That’s fine,” Hadley said. “But it won’t be based on me because sex happens to be one of my favorite things next to bunnies and salted caramel. There.”
Isabel wagged her finger. “No. You whispered it again.”
“I didn’t!”
“I’m afraid so.”
“Man.” Hadley wiggled her body into the couch in annoyance as Isabel grinned. “Anyway, we shouldn’t be talking about me anyway. I want to get back to you and your forbidden office romance. When’s the wedding? I would be thrilled to help design. I’m already envisioning colors. I hear you’re a huge fan of the Southwestern motif.”
“Funny, very funny. First of all, no wedding. Second of all, I don’t even know that you can categorize what’s happening between us as a romance. I was hopeful you could. I still am, but…it’s complicated.”
Hadley sat forward. “I’m good at helping people work through things.”
Isabel nodded. “I’m starting to think that I’m the obstacle between the real romance, her and her ex.”
“Aspen Wakefield.”
“Right.”
“You realize that sounds more like the TV show you write for than real life?” Hadley asked.
“Where do you think writers draw inspiration from for those kinds of things?”
Hadley studied her. “Good point.”
“And how am I supposed to compete with someone like Aspen anyway?” Isabel asked, getting riled up just thinking about it. “The woman is God’s gift to lesbians everywhere, provided no one has to actually interact with her for too many days in a row.”
“That part’s true,” Hadley said, nodding too emphatically. “She’s dreamy. And sometimes the right brand of crazy can be hot.”
“That’s the problem. She’s dreamy and crazy. Don’t get me started on her boobs. I’m guessing they’re fake but still. You should see them.”
“What? I’m sorry. You’ve seen her boobs and this is the first you’re mentioning it?” Hadley looked around the courtyard as if to see to whom she could report this injustice. “Why didn’t you start with that? Why didn’t you knock on my door the moment it happened?”
Isabel shook her head. “The boobs are fabulous, trust me. But the incident in which I encountered them wasn’t. Honestly, it was a creepy moment to walk in on. She surprised Taylor in her office, the door wasn’t locked, and there I was in the middle of it.” She shuddered. “Bottom line, she makes me feel like a dusty Honda in a sea of Porsches, and that’s not even a euphemism. It’s literally my truth.”
“That’s lunacy.” Hadley’s eyes were kind when she said it, her tone soft. “I’ve met Taylor. She seems down-to-earth and solid. If I had to guess, I’d say Aspen has nothing on you.”
“And now I know you’re not only one of the nicest people I’ve ever met but also a liar.”
Hadley pushed on. “You honestly don’t get how great you are, do you? I’ve known you for going on three months and I can say that easily. You’re a catch, Iz, and you should know it.”
The words took root and blossomed as she sat there. Isabel had never been more grateful for a pep talk in her life. While Hadley was a very nice person, she also wasn’t a ridiculous one and wouldn’t fill her head with nonsense just to do so. Knowing that she saw something, well…worthy in Isabel had her glowing. She wondered if it showed.
“What’s going on down there?” a voice from above asked. They lifted their heads to see Gia leaning over the railing.
“Where have you been?” Hadley asked. “You’re missing so much.”
Gia shook her head in regret. “I fell asleep. Waves were all over the place today and I got beat to hell. What’s the dish?”
“Iz saw Aspen Wakefield’s boobs. They’re apparently amazing.”
Gia’s face fell. “Now I’m sore and intrigued. I hate missing stuff. Especially celebrity boob sightings.”
“We can catch you up at breakfast,” Hadley said. “You need anything?”
“Elle Britton’s retirement announcement,” Gia said dully. “Can you make that happen?”
Isabel looked to Hadley. “And who exactly is Elle Britton?”
“Number one in the world,” Hadley told her. “Gia’s been chasing her ranking for years and is not a fan.”
“No can do, champ,” Hadley called back up. “But we can make fun of her perky princess persona together.”
“That might be fun,” Gia said glumly, thinking this over. “Maybe tomorrow morning at Pajamas when I get the boob story. Gonna jump in an ice bath now.”
“If it makes you feel better, Hadley can’t say ‘sex’ without whispering,” Isabel said with a grin.
“Ask her to say ‘fuck.’ You’ll be there all night.” Gia offered a wink and went back inside.
“I’m happy you all enjoy my wholesome disposition, but it’s all a ruse.” She leaned forward and met Isabel’s eyes. “I’ve seen porn.”
Isabel reached over and patted Hadley on the knee sincerely. “Aww, I’m sure you have, sweetie. And that’s awesome.”
*****
Taylor was going through Isabel withdrawal in the worst way. She thought about her a lot, her smile, her quick comebacks, their give-and-take conversations. She luxuriated in the memory of their bodies pressed together and daydreamed about future encounters, which meant she had it bad. Since their night together ten days ago, they’d managed to steal a few moments here or there. A lunch. A chat. Due to their conflicting schedules, it was always very brief and only enough to whet her appetite for more.
Tonight would be different. Isabel’s episode was set to air at eight p.m., and knowing what a monumental occasion this was for a young writer, she wanted to make it special. After grabbing a bagel for herself and a donut for Isabel from the Water Tower Market, she and Raisin, who trotted happily next to her on his leash, headed over to her office. She knew damn well it would make her late for the long lineup of Sister Dale meetings she was slotted to attend, but it didn’t matter. Today was too important.
Isabel didn’t notice her approach her cubicle and seemed lost in her laptop, probably gone on her own imagination. Taylor loved the look she got on her face when she concentrated, her lips slightly parted, her eyes distant, not noticing the happenings around her.
“Happy first episode day,” Taylor said, breaking that concentration reluctantly.
Isabel’s gaze flew up to Taylor as she stood next to her desk. She laughed and shook her head. “How long have you been standing there? Embarrassing.”
“Long enough to see that you’re immersed in something pretty spectacular.”
She smiled. “Kathleen is giving me another episode. One that was originally scheduled to be freelanced. The guy backed out.”
Taylor beamed. “Kathleen is smart.”
“You don’t seem surprised. You knew about this?”
“It’s possible we colluded. We both feel you’re ready for more. You proved it with the first one, which airs tonight, I might add.”
“Is it weird that I’m nervous? As if there’s something that could go wrong. The episode is done, shot, edited, and completely out of my hands. So why can’t I relax and enjoy this?”
Taylor came around Isabel’s desk and leaned back against it. “Because you’re Isabel and it’s what you do.”
“I should see someone about that.”
“Better yet, you should see me tonight. For a viewing party at my house. Guest list of two.”
Isabel took a moment before a smile took shape on her face and grew exponentially. “You mean it? You want to watch it with me?”
“Of course I do. I’ll supply the popcorn and wine. Wear comfortable clothes.”
Isabel raised a suggestive eyebrow. “Because?”
“Because we’ll be lounging as we watch a really cool episode.” But the implication, even when it came in a teasing manner, had Taylor envisioning all the other reasons easy-access clothing might be helpful.
“What time?” Isabel asked, her eyes still dancing with flirtation.
“Seven thirty.”
“I’ll be there.”
Isabel arrived right on time that night, and while Taylor popped popcorn and uncorked the wine, she excused herself to freshen up. When she still hadn’t returned ten minutes later, Taylor called up to her. “Did you fall asleep up there? Fifteen minutes until go time!”
Isabel didn’t answer.
Taylor poured a glass of wine for Isabel and one for herself and took a seat on the couch. “Iz? Everything okay?” she called again. Silence. Interesting. What was the proper protocol here? While it was her instinct to go check on Isabel, maybe she should give her some space. What if she wasn’t feeling well? But after another five minutes had passed, Taylor headed up the stairs. She no longer cared about etiquette, only Isabel.
But when she arrived, both the hall and master bathroom stood empty.
“Isabel? Hey, where are you? You’re starting to worry me. Did you sneak out when I wasn’t looking?” She chuckled quietly to keep the mood light as she glanced from room to room, finally returning to the master. Something caught her attention. Her closet door was closed, and her closet door was never closed. She approached the door curiously and knocked, waiting only a moment before placing her hand on the knob. “Okay, ready or not, I’m coming in.”
The light in the closet was off, but enough of the bedroom light spilled over to illuminate Isabel, sitting on the floor with her back against the wall. She had crisscrossed her arms over her chest and gripped her shoulders tightly. The image about tore Taylor’s heart in two.
Taylor knelt in front of her. “Iz, are you okay? What is it?”
Isabel’s only movement was a slight flick of her gaze to Taylor before looking straight ahead once again. “An attack. Just need time.”
“A panic attack?” Taylor asked. “Is that what’s happening?”
Isabel offered a slight nod.
“Okay, we can handle that. What can I do?”
Isabel shook her head. “I just need to sit here,” she managed through a clenched jaw.
“Then I’ll sit with you.” And that’s exactly what Taylor did, taking a spot on the wall next to Isabel. At first, she didn’t say anything, wondering if maybe Isabel needed the silence. But something compelled her to fill it, to try and do something to see Isabel through this. She spent the next ten minutes telling Isabel all about her day, chatting about the mundane details as if it were the most natural conversation in the world. Two friends just hanging out. By the time she got to the very specific description of the chicken noodle soup she’d had for lunch, she noticed that Isabel’s hands had relaxed into her lap. When she finished the part about dropping her keys on the concrete next to her car, Isabel allowed her to hold one of her hands. She pressed on, all the way up to the present timeline.
“And that brings me to the popcorn I just popped, which I have to confess, was the second bag. As you may have guessed from the smell in the kitchen, I burned the first.”
Isabel smiled and Taylor relaxed in relief.
“How are you feeling?”
“Much better,” she said, exhaling slowly. “Thank you.”
“I didn’t do anything. Just entertaining myself over here.”
“More than that,” Isabel said, taking another deep inhale. “That helped a lot.”
“Does this happen all that often?”
“Comes and goes.” She wiggled her shoulders, as if trying to loosen them up. “Sometimes it’s two or three times a year. Lately, it’s been…more.”
Taylor nodded and squeezed Isabel’s hand. “Any idea what brings them on?”
“Seems to happen when the stakes are high. When I feel like I have something to lose, which there’s been a lot of lately. Might be me worrying about the episode today. It could be anything really.” For the first time since Taylor had arrived in the closet, Isabel looked around. “Sorry I hijacked your closet. Small spaces seem to help.”
“You’re welcome to my closet.” They sat in silence for a few moments. “What now?”
“You think we could still watch the show?”
“If you’re up for it. We don’t have to.”
Isabel pushed herself up off the ground and offered Taylor her hand. “I’m not letting my stupid issues ruin tonight for me.”
Taylor stood. “If you’re sure. We can sit in this closet for as long as you need.” And she meant it. She was fully ready to ride this thing out with Isabel if it took all night.
Isabel attempted a wobbly smile. “Take me to the burnt popcorn.”
And so she did.
With freshly popped buttered popcorn, the third bag of the night, and an open bottle of Cabernet on the coffee table, they watched Isabel’s television debut from Taylor’s white leather couch. Raisin, to his credit, seemed to know the show was an important one, his little gaze glued to the screen as if he followed the action from his spot, on Isabel’s lap.
Isabel pointed at the screen. “See, that part right there is where I kind of imagined he’d grab hold of her and that’s what would shut her up.”
“Yeah, I gathered that from the script. Looks like your director had other ideas. You can always throw up your hand for a consult, you know.”
“You can throw up your hand, Madame Executive Producer. I’m low on the totem pole.” Isabel was joking again, which was a fantastic sign. With each moment that passed, she seemed to return to herself more and more.
“Doesn’t matter,” Taylor said. “You have to advocate for yourself, Iz. Just like you did with me on the storyline. You won’t always win, but at least you’ll have spoken your piece.” She gestured to the action on the screen. “Doesn’t matter, in actuality. The moment is still killer.”
“Is it weird that we’re sitting here together watching your ex-girlfriend on television, who also happens to be wearing very little clothing?”
“It probably should be,” Taylor said conservatively and then relented. “No, it is.”
“She hates me, you know, ever since that morning. Looks past me when we run into each other. Fakes pleasantries when people are around and then drops them the second they’re gone.”
“That’s Aspen for you. I’m sorry. She’s not exactly thrilled that we’re…” Taylor trailed off, unsure how to finish that sentence.
Isabel turned more fully, shifting Raisin on her lap. “Yeah, what are we doing exactly? I’m not even sure I know myself.”
Taylor looked skyward, realizing that this might be a longer conversation than what the commercial break they’d just shifted to would allow. Still, she gave it a shot, putting it all out there. “Dating?” A pause. “Giving what we have a chance?”
Isabel didn’t say anything. She stared at Taylor, which made her regret the words. Too soon maybe. Isabel would be running for the hills if they weren’t already in them geographically.
“I wasn’t expecting that,” Isabel said evenly.
“No?” Another pause, as Tide and all its wonders were professed on the screen. “Am I jumping the gun? You can say so. I can back off.”
“Jump away.” Isabel was smiling now. Good. Smiling was a vast improvement. She took a deep breath. “My only concern is Aspen.”
“That she’s on a warpath?” Taylor felt confident that she was, given their last interaction.
“No. That you’re still captivated by her, which trust me, I get. The whole world is captivated by her.”
“But I’m not.” Taylor shook her head, as nothing could be further from the truth. Spending time with Isabel had placed her warped and labor-intensive relationship with Aspen in startling perspective. Isabel was a breath of fresh air. Aspen was a full-time job. She chose her words carefully. “There are a myriad of reasons why we shouldn’t be sitting here together from a logistics standpoint.”
Isabel nodded. “A myriad.”
“But we tried ignoring the chemistry and ended up—”
“In bed.”
“Yes, that.”
A pause. “It just sucks that we’re really good in bed.”
“It does suck,” Taylor said, borrowing the word. It was very Isabel. She reached out and touched a strand of Isabel’s hair, loving the way it felt between her fingers. “But of all those reasons, Aspen is most definitely not one of them. My heart is available, if a little cautious.”
“So maybe we go slow.”
“If I could just figure out how to do that with you. I’m not sure it’s possible.”
Isabel smiled, which left Taylor craving a kiss. As their lips came together, Taylor marveled at how startling it still was, that little shock of desire that came with kissing Isabel. Goose bumps took shape on her arms, and a warmth washed over her. She should have learned to expect it by now, but it got her every time. As their lips danced, Taylor realized distantly that the show was back on and that Raisin had ditched them for the backyard, as evidenced by the sound of the swinging dog door. “Show’s on,” she managed between kisses.
“I’ve seen it before.” Isabel’s hands were under her shirt at the small of her back.
Taylor wanted more. She wanted those hands everywhere. As they kissed, that need only grew. “Tell you what,” Taylor said finally, pulling her mouth away against her better judgment. “We finish the show, because it’s an important milestone, and then we’ll have our own show.”
Isabel blinked. “Do you know how hard it’s going to be to concentrate now?”
“You can do it. You’re really good at your job.”
They watched the episode. They did. They also couldn’t keep their hands off each other and appeased themselves with little touches. Isabel’s hand on Taylor’s thigh. Taylor’s fingers playing with the hair at the back of Isabel’s neck. Isabel’s hand on the inside of Taylor’s thigh. Taylor’s fingers dipping into the back of her shirt, to feel her warm skin. It was a progression that left Taylor uncomfortable and counting the moments until the episode ended.
As soon as the credits hit, Isabel’s phone blew up. Texts from Hadley, Gia, Autumn, and even her dad had her grinning from ear to ear, which made Taylor glow bright with pride for her. Her friends were going nuts, sending Isabel screen shots of her name on their television. “This is crazy. Even my dad watched,” Isabel said, shaking her head, as she typed back.
“Congratulations, Ms. Chase,” Taylor said. “You’re official now.”
Isabel’s answer was to set her phone down and slide onto Taylor’s lap. “Officially wanting you.” They stared at each other for a beat before bursting into laughter at the terrible line. Isabel held up a finger. “While you’re embarrassed that I just said that, you should probably know there is a lot more where that came from. Gear up for a parade of cringe-worthy Isabel moments.”
“My brain is exploding with all of the awful predictions.”
“Meanwhile, I predict…kissing.” Isabel slowly descended to Taylor’s mouth. And they were off, right there on Taylor’s couch. The clothes came off quickly, and what started on the couch moved out of necessity to the fluffy rug on the floor. And oh, the wondrous places they took each other on that rug.
A milestone of a day, most assuredly.
*****
November was on track to be a memorable month in the life of Isabel Chase.
After her episode aired, Isabel noticed a remarkable shift in the world as she knew it. Not only was the episode highly reviewed, but the storyline seemed to give the ratings the shot in the arm they needed. As a result, Isabel’s stock rose. People on set knew her name, her coworkers listened to her opinion, and her confidence soared.
“Why aren’t we writing Jackson into this scene at the hospital? Talk about tension if we do,” Isabel said to the room of writers.
Scruffy blew out a breath. “The cub thinks we should write Jackson in.” He glanced around the room. “Thoughts? It actually might make sense.”
“Agreed. Cub is right,” Cedric said. It was his script they were picking apart, and he looked worse for the wear. “I can make the adjustment.”
She smiled. People were paying attention to her. Even Gerald Hagerman seemed impressed with her when he visited the Water set a couple of weeks later. “Isabel Chase,” he crowed when he passed her in the hall. “Bring me more ratings like the one your episode pulled in, would you?”
“Workin’ on it.” And she was. She spent a lot of time staring at the wall, watching the screeners, and imagining new scenarios for the characters in the Water universe. She brought her ideas to the table and found they were becoming more and more well-received.
Gerald had pointed at her. “Got my eye on you.”
She smiled and returned the awkward finger gun gesture he’d made but knew that, underneath it all, she didn’t want to screw up the pretty powerful momentum she was building.
Things with Taylor had progressed as well. Not only did they have fantastic chemistry, spending hours together in bed, but they learned that they enjoyed regular days together as well. That was the really awesome part, how easy it was to just exist together.
Isabel started spending lazy weekends at Taylor’s house. They’d have long talks over dinners on the patio, outdoor heaters ablaze. Sometimes Isabel cooked. Other times, Taylor tried. She was just as she’d proclaimed, however: a disaster in the kitchen, inspiring more than one take-out order to save the day. In the afternoons, they’d work by the pool or Isabel would read books while Taylor threw the tennis ball for Raisin. At night, they’d ravish each other appropriately before falling asleep in each other’s arms. The serenity of it all was a godsend in Isabel’s life. Taylor was a godsend.
“You two are a pair,” she said one Saturday afternoon to Taylor, who lay on the floor with Raisin, rubbing his exposed tummy as he wiggled around because he was ticklish or gleeful—it was unclear which.
“Raisin loves me and I love Raisin. It’s a ridiculous love fest. Isn’t it?” She manipulated his paws in a series of gestures. “It is.” Taylor Andrews was a dignified woman, known as a ballbuster in many circles, and hearing her speak baby talk to a dachshund on the floor said a lot about her feelings for him. Isabel smiled and turned the page of her crime novel. “So,” Taylor said, pushing herself into a sitting position. “I have news from my morning chat with Gerald.”
“Oh, yeah? What’s up?”
“First of all, the network loves your newest script.”
“They do?” Isabel perked up at the news, setting her book aside. She could read about that girl riding around on that train anytime. “I don’t believe you.”
“Because you’re predisposed to pessimism. They did, too, like it. Gerald thinks you’re the bee’s knees. I told him he has good taste.”
“He did not,” Isabel said, joining Taylor on the floor because she had energy exploding from everywhere and had no outlet. “He did not say I’m the bee’s knees.” She sat on Taylor’s stomach and held her down by her wrists. “What else did he not say? Tell me.”
“I’ve not seen your smile stretch that wide ever. Aww, baby, look at your pretty teeth.”
“Taylor.”
“Yes?” She blinked up at Isabel with those big green eyes.
“You’re stalling, and I will be forced to tickle you.”
“Which I hate, so don’t you dare, or I will turn Raisin on you. He’s vicious. You don’t know.” They were both smiling now. Taylor took a breath. “Gerald mentioned that maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to tag you in a little more often.”
Isabel sat back, releasing Taylor’s wrists. “He did not.”
Taylor studied her. “You have a reality acceptance problem that we should work on. Reality check: You’re a really talented writer. Second reality: People are noticing. Third: We should go out to dinner tonight. Somewhere nice, so I can stare at you across candlelight.”
“I’d be down for dinner. I don’t have anything nice with me to wear, though. Can we stop by my place?”
“Of course. Oh, and Gerald has released me from my shackles at Sister Dale, due to a much-needed ratings hike. Lyric has been cleared to fly solo. I have no doubt she will fly that show into a cliff, but it’s not my problem anymore. I’ll be back at Water full-time on Monday.”
Isabel paused before launching a full-on tickle attack on Taylor. “You buried the lede! You buried the lede, and now you must pay dearly.” Beneath her fingertips, Taylor laughed, squirmed, and gasped.
“Uncle!” she yelled. “Truce!” she shouted when “uncle” didn’t work.
“Say you’re sorry, and that I’m the best tickler ever.”
“I’m sorry,” Taylor wheezed, as tears leaked from her eyes. “But I’m not saying the other thing.” Isabel moved the tickling from her stomach to her ribs, upping the ante. Taylor screamed and laughed. “Fine!” she yelled finally in desperation. “You’re the best tickler ever. Now please, God, stop. No more!”
Isabel sat back calmly. “See? Was that really so hard?”
“It was very hard. I can’t believe you resorted to tickling. It’s fiendish. It’s devilish. It’s very you.”
Isabel grinned proudly as Taylor caught her breath. They stared at each other.
“I have fun with you,” Taylor said simply. “Even when you hold me down and tickle me against my will. Why are we so good together?”
“Because you’re put together, polished, and successful and I’m a creative mess who sometimes knows where my shoes are. What could be more perfect? We’re like Laurel and Hardy, but who have sex.” Isabel shook her head. “We’re weirdos for waiting as long as we did to hang out.”
Taylor sat up and rested on her forearms behind her. “Hanging out, huh? We’ve been hanging out a lot lately.”
“Mmm-hmm. It’s a multipurpose phrase. I’m good at words—you just said so.” Isabel placed a kiss on Taylor’s nose. “I like your nose. And I get to see it every day again. I don’t have to share custody of this nose with any other show now.”
“That’s a fascinating way of looking at it.”
Isabel took a moment, her tone softening because this mattered. “I don’t mean to downplay it. I’m just so happy that I get to see you every day. The best moments are the ones you’re in, Tay.”
Taylor broke into a grin, and it was like the sun coming out. “I wasn’t expecting that. How do I reconcile the fact that with just a few simple words you absolutely slay me?”
Isabel’s heart smashed in her chest, hummingbird fast. She pulled Taylor in. “Just know I mean them, okay? I’m not the most outwardly sentimental person, but I need you to understand how much you matter to me.”
Taylor pulled back and looked her in the eyes, her gaze communicating a depth of emotion. “I do now.”
“Good.” Isabel nodded and ran a nervous hand through her hair. She wasn’t great at confessions from the heart, but she planned to get better. “Now, are we ready to go get that dress so we can eat fancy food and celebrate your return?”
“No,” Taylor said, wrapping her arms around Isabel’s middle. “Have you already forgotten? We’re celebrating you and your rising star.”
“Let’s do both.”
“Deal.”
“And let’s kiss before we go.”
Taylor relaxed into a lazy grin. “You’re on a roll.”
*****
They parked in Isabel’s designated space and made their way to the courtyard of Seven Shores. Taylor had never been here in the daylight and realized now how much she’d missed. The small complex was cute, homey, and charming. She glanced to the left and caught a glimpse of a blue sign peeking from just behind the trees. “Is that the cat? The cat?” Taylor asked, feeling like she’d spotted a celebrity. She’d been drinking magnificent coffee from cups featuring that very cat for a long time now, and to actually see his face out in the larger world had her beyond excited.
Isabel followed her gaze. “That’s him. In pajamas again. That guy never gets ready for the day. Probably collects cat unemployment.”
“Do you think we have enough time to pop in so I can see it?”
“Aww, look at the hope and suspense on your face. As if I’m going to say, ‘Absolutely not. We are on a strict timeline with very little flexibility. Keep moving, Andrews.’” Isabel shook her head and smiled. “It’s a beautiful Saturday, and I’m chillin’ with you, and if you tell me you want to skip dinner altogether and just have coffee at the Cat’s Pajamas, I will happily buy.”
“Let’s just pop in and see it. Then dinner.”
“Follow me.”
Autumn grinned at them from her spot behind the counter as they entered the coffee shop. It was midday and the place was quiet. A couple of tables had folks focused intently on their laptops, and two blond women played chess in the corner by the couches. She wasn’t positive, but that might have been Jimi Hendrix playing over the speakers, which was not your typical coffeehouse fare at all. Then again, this was Venice, and it was nothing if not unique.
“Alert, everyone,” Autumn said as they approached. “Writer types on the premises. Look extra smart.” The customers glanced up, offering a nod or a smile. The place was entirely laid-back as the clientele seemed to be.
“Don’t act smart on my account,” Isabel told her. “I don’t even know what fennel is.” Autumn and Taylor swiveled to her and she waved them off. “Long and bitter story.”
“It’s an herb,” Autumn said gently.
“I know it’s an herb. Just a ridiculous one.” She looked from Autumn to Taylor. “I have a lot of anger toward fennel.”
“I’m sensing that,” Taylor said, intrigued. “You’re going to have to explain that one later.” She smiled at Autumn. “I’m so happy to finally see your shop. I’ve been telling everyone how amazing the coffee is here. I feel like that cat is my friend.”
“He is. PJ’s everyone’s friend. As for coffee, I don’t even ask for an order anymore,” Autumn said. “I just have two to-go cups ready for Izzy each morning, once she’s ready to hit the road.”
One of the things Taylor simply couldn’t get used to was how thoughtful Isabel could be. Even on days when Taylor was all the way across the lot at Sister Dale, she’d still find a cup of coffee from the Cat’s Pajamas sitting on her desk when she emerged from whatever meeting or event had her occupied. It gave her a boost each time, and not just from the caffeine but from the reminder that a woman she was crazy about was thinking about her that morning, too.
She turned in a circle to take in the space fully. “Autumn, this space is amazing.” It was more than she’d imagined, decked out with colors and memorabilia in a hodgepodge that somehow really worked. One of those places she didn’t feel cool enough to inhabit, traces left over from her high school days. She moved herself right out of that familiar pitfall. “I love it! It’s even more unique than I imagined. Is that an astronaut in the corner?”
“Not an actual guy,” Autumn said, as she fiddled with the many silver pieces of what looked to be a large espresso machine. “Just the suit. I bought it at auction and painted it that shade of blue myself. Any coffee for you guys or are you just here to keep me company? Which I love, by the way.”
Friend or not, Taylor felt like she ought to buy something. Manners were big in her world. “No, we’ll take two coffees.”
“Two coffees, one black and one sweetened with cream coming up.”
Taylor hooked a thumb at Autumn. “She’s good.”
“It’s kind of freaky how good. It’s not just me. She knows everyone’s order. Watch.” Isabel approached the counter to pay. “Hey Autumn, see that guy sitting near the door?”
Autumn followed her gaze. “I do.”
“What’s his usual?”
“Oh, Blake is an iced coffee with three shots and four pumps of vanilla. The only time he deviates is the holidays when he trades out vanilla for mint.”
Taylor stared at her in awe. “You’re like Rain Man for coffee.”
“Good God. I’m having that engraved,” Autumn said seriously.
They laughed and accepted the coffee she handed them.
“No Steve today?” Isabel asked, taking a sip. Taylor winced. Isabel didn’t shy away from the hot, burn-your-throat-overtly sip. Taylor, on the other hand, preferred to wait a few minutes, until the coffee had a chance to cool a few degrees. Honestly, it was a metaphor for how they approached life. Taylor erred more on the side of caution, she was finding. Isabel went for it every time. Isabel turned to Taylor. “Steve is one of my favorite baristas. He’s one of the friendliest guys I’ve ever met. Young and wide-eyed, but he’s from Ohio, so that probably explains it.”
Autumn glanced behind her. “Steve is in the back with my new hire Katrina. Katrina, you should know, is less friendly than Steve. She sort of seems like she’s working a very difficult puzzle in her head when she speaks to you. Or an atomic bomb. Six of one, half dozen of the other. Jury is out on how she’ll do with the customers.”
As if on cue, Katrina appeared. She was a teenager, with extra-long blond hair pulled into a ponytail and meticulous bangs. “Excuse me.” She studied Autumn, her brow furrowed, as if in intense concentration. “I’m not finding those boxes of sweeteners you asked me to unpack.”
“Top shelf on the right in the storage closet.”
Katrina placed a finger on her bottom lip and tapped a few times. Autumn was right. Katrina was solving for x in a parallel conversation. “Riiiight. Thank you. I’ll get back to it.”
Once they were alone, Autumn whirled back to them. “See? What’s that about?”
Isabel shrugged. “Beats me.” She dropped her tone. “Here’s hoping she doesn’t kill you.”
Taylor elbowed Isabel. “How awful! I assure you, Autumn, she won’t kill you. If it helps, I had the same thoughts when I hired Isabel. Her weapon of choice was coffee.”
Autumn reached across the counter and offered Isabel a fist bump. “Truth is, I hire mostly kids, and besides Steve and me, the roster is constantly rotating. You meet some interesting folks.”
Taylor exchanged a glance with Isabel. “You just said a writer’s dream sentence. Keep us in the loop.”
“Of course.”
With coffee in hand, they stopped by Isabel’s apartment, where Fat Tony attempted to play hockey with Taylor’s feet while Isabel changed. When she emerged from the bedroom, Taylor’s heart squeezed and her body warmed pleasantly. Isabel looked stunning in a casual red dress with three-quarter sleeves paired with a pair of low black heels.
“That dress is gorgeous. Look at you. God, Iz, you have fantastic taste.”
Isabel stared at her, her eyes going wide. She started to say something and then stopped and held up a hand. “No. It’s a sham. All of it. I have mediocre taste at best. I messaged Had and told her we were going to a nice place and asked if she had anything. She dropped off the dress because she has a key from checking in on Tony on weekends.” Isabel covered her eyes and sat on the couch with a thump.
Taylor laughed and sat next to her. “Why would you characterize that as a sham? And why wouldn’t you tell me you weren’t sure what to wear?”
Isabel gestured up and down Taylor’s body. She’d selected her white dress with a slash of blue down the middle. “Because look at you. How am I supposed to keep up with you? With designers and glamour and…you. All you are.”
“First of all, this dress was on the clearance rack at the mall. I’m not nearly as sophisticated as you seem to think I am. Second of all, you’ve made similar comments along the way. Does this have anything to do with the panic attacks? Maybe we should talk about the root cause.”
“Maybe.”
“Tell me one thing that you’re afraid of.” Silence filled the room. Isabel tucked a strand of her dark hair behind her ear and studied the wall carefully. “Iz? Talk to me.”
She turned to Taylor, her blue eyes carrying vulnerability. The type Isabel tucked away anytime Taylor glimpsed it. “What if it’s ten years from now and I’m still in your shadow? The less attractive sidekick who never amounted to much. And there you are, wishing you were with someone glamorous and exciting like you are. Instead, you’re stuck with me.”
“Is that how you feel?”
“No.” A long pause. “Yes.”
Taylor smiled, and not to make Isabel feel better but because what she’d just heard was ludicrous, ridiculous, and she couldn’t see her way to dignify it with a serious response. Isabel was beautiful and smart and creative and the fact that she didn’t see it was baffling. “That doesn’t make any sense to me.”
“I just need for you to know that I’m never going to be an Aspen. You’re never going to wake up and find that’s happened.” She looked so crestfallen as she said the words, as if she truly thought she had failed some sort of important test.
“Thank God,” Taylor said, slipping her hand into Isabel’s and pulling it into her lap. “I would never want you to be anyone but you.” Isabel didn’t say anything but she also wasn’t looking at Taylor anymore, which both hurt and pulled at her heart at the same time. “Isabel, you have to believe me when I tell you this, okay?” That had her attention. Isabel faced her, and that’s when Taylor saw that there were tears pooled in her eyes. “I’ve never had anything like this with someone. Ever. Normally, I wouldn’t say these things, because it’s only been three months since we’ve been…hanging out.” The use of her term had the corners of Isabel’s mouth turning up ever so slightly. “But it happens to be very true. I was married to an amazing person, and we really clicked. But not in the ways we needed to. I’ve had fast and furious affairs, but they’ve always burned out. Aspen would fall into that category. But with you, Isabel Chase, it’s so very different. We click in all the ways and I can’t seem to stop myself from hoping that this is something bigger than the both of us, because what if it is? What if this is it?”
Isabel was up and walking across her living room, shaking her arms as she walked. She turned back to Taylor with the expression of an investigative journalist on a mission. “So, you’re saying you think there’s potential for a future? With us. Potentially. I know I already said the potential part. Ignore it. It’s whatever. But do you?”
Taylor grinned and waded through the neurosis. “I do.”
Isabel’s hand went to her hips and she blew out a breath looking gorgeous in that dress. “Good. Okay. That’s helpful to hear.” The smile crept in slowly, but once it took shape on Isabel’s face there was no better visual. “I’m a mess when it comes to you. You should know that.”
Taylor nodded. “I’m filing it away.”
“I’ve just…never been happy like this before.” The sentence hit Taylor square in the center of the chest and blossomed.
“I make you happy?”
“Yes.” Isabel nodded several times. “And it feels like a precarious height to fall from, you know?”
Taylor stood and walked to Isabel, understanding that she needed reassurance and the knowledge that they were in this together. She slipped her hands around Isabel’s waist and met her gaze squarely. “I have a suggestion.” She brushed the hair from Isabel’s forehead. “No one falls from any kind of height, and no one gets hurt.” She kissed her softly. “And we take this one day at a time.” Another kiss. “And continue to have important conversations like this one.” This time Isabel kissed her in what felt like a promise. Taylor’s eyes fluttered closed and she accepted the unspoken words, tucking them close to her heart.
Isabel pulled her mouth away and rested her forehead against Taylor’s. “I like the proposed plan.”
“Good.”
“Is it wrong that I don’t want to go to a fancy dinner tonight?”
Taylor smiled. “No. Where would you like to go instead?”
“The beach.”
“Take me there.”
*****
It was still daylight when they arrived on the beach, but Isabel knew it wouldn’t be long before the glorious sun, already sporting all sorts of fantastic colors, would descend further from its spot in the sky, leaving night and the chill that came with it to creep in around them. She’d swapped her dress for jeans, and luckily, Taylor fit as well in her clothes as she fit in Taylor’s. It amused her, the visual of Taylor in her knock-arounds. Another way to describe it was hot, which had her stealing glances as they walked the length of this bustling section of the beach, stopping at each of the retail stands.
“Could you see me wearing this?” Taylor asked, picking up a vintage Alice Cooper T-shirt and holding it against her chest.
“I could,” Isabel said confidently. “Taylor the Rocker Chick has possibilities. I could write that story. An executive in the prime of her career abandons all to go on the road as the best groupie to ever group.”
Taylor pointed at her. “And I just made you a millionaire. You’re welcome.” She set the T-shirt down and they walked on. “We’ll need food, don’t you think?”
“Oh! I know a spot.”
Isabel walked them past Muscle Beach, the outdoor weightlifting platform where some sort of raucous competition was taking place. Oiled-up shirtless men flexed one at a time for a cheering audience. In other words, it was a Saturday. They rounded a corner and came to a nondescript window with a menu card taped to it.
“I’m not having a salad tonight, am I?”
Isabel laughed. “Would you prefer a salad? I will find you one on this beach if it’s the last thing I do.”
“I was kidding. Let’s eat beach food. It’s the weekend.”
“Perfect, because Gia brought me to this place, and she knows all the good beach spots. They have killer wraps. My favorite is the Santa Fe. Messy as hell and big and awesome.”
Taylor nodded thoughtfully. “You really know how to sell a girl. Make it two.”
Isabel grinned and appreciated how Taylor was willing to step outside of her comfort zone and do the things Isabel enjoyed. Because she was a sport, she’d joined Taylor many times in the past for a large salad and even endured the lecture on the wonder that a large salad is. Especially one with chicken and oranges, apparently. Who knew?
“So, I’ve had an idea percolating for a show,” Taylor said as they walked, eating their wraps and people-watching. “Is that woman over there topless? And is that a giant snake around her neck?” Taylor glanced around as if to be sure she wasn’t hallucinating.
“It is. She should rethink that combo, because ouch.”
Taylor rolled her shoulders in empathy. “Yeah, ouch.”
“But back to your idea,” Isabel urged. “I didn’t know you were still generating new show premises.”
“Always. However, working on another show got the wheels churning more than usual. So, I’m thinking a former CIA agent, the trained lethal kind, who goes into social work, vowing to leave her darker days behind her.”
“Only the losers who beat their wives or the parents who hurt their kids might challenge that sensibility.”
“Exactly. I’m imagining an internal struggle between her new and old lives.”
Isabel nodded. “Maybe she adopts a child of her own along the way. She could be the Girl Scout troop leader. Attending PTA meetings by day.”
Taylor’s eyes went bright. “Vigilante assassin by night.”
“Right? I love this. You have to write this show one day.”
“Could be a little dark,” Taylor said hesitantly.
Isabel stopped walking and turned to Taylor, who ended up a few steps ahead before turning back in question. “Are you kidding? That’s what makes it awesome.”
Taylor laughed. “I forgot who I was talking to.” She took a bite of her wrap, and Isabel grinned as Southwestern dressing dribbled down her cheek. She handed Taylor a napkin.
“Told you it was good and messy.”
“You left out fabulous. How are they not lined up around the block?”
“Apparently, a local secret. Back to our girl. She needs to be gay. Would you agree? Or better yet, bisexual. And hot.”
“Definitely hot. Maybe she’ll look like you.”
While it was a silly suggestion, it did give Isabel an extra boost, warming her cheeks. “I’m too short and not nearly ripped enough for assassin status.”
“If you want her taller, she can be taller. And ripped. I’m flexible on the topic. Definitely brunette, though. At least in my head she is.”
“I like the idea.”
“Just something for someday. Maybe we could work on it together.”
Isabel smiled. “I would love that. For someday.” A pause as they nodded to the clown on Rollerblades as he passed. “Have I ever told you how much of a turn-on your brain is?”
Taylor took a minute to finish chewing. “No, but that’s good, because bathed in salad dressing like this, the rest of me is pushing it.”
“Please,” Isabel said, glancing at her up and down. “You’ve never been more attractive to me than when you’re eating and wearing street food at the same time. In fact, I’m so into you right now that we should probably get away from all of this. Find our own spot.” The boardwalk was a lot of fun, but the crowds, the noise, and the spectacle generally ran its course quickly. Isabel craved one-on-one time with Taylor.
“We can drive up the shore some,” Taylor suggested. “Find a spot to park and watch the waves.”
“Yes,” Isabel said. “Absolutely yes.”
They quickly learned that the closer they got to the water, the less they could bear the cold. After a short walk along the shoreline, they made a mad dash back to Taylor’s car, where they snuggled up in the backseat, laughing, and watched the last sliver of sunlight disappear on the horizon. With Taylor on her back, Isabel lay in the crook of her arm. They listened to the sound of the waves crashing, their feet propped just outside the rolled-down window.
“Who knew I’d be such a beach person? We had one close to where I lived up north, but I never went.”
“Northern beaches are different,” Taylor said. “More mysterious, at least in my opinion.”
“I can see how you’d come to that. California is more, ‘Here’s some glorious sand and relentless sunshine. Just play around in it for a while.’”
“Exactly,” Taylor said with a chuckle. “You’re starting to understand our little corner of the world more and more each day.” She slipped her hand under Isabel’s shirt and ran her fingertips back and forth across her stomach. Isabel loved it, almost as much as she loved the woman who had taken over her heart completely.
Back that truck up.
The word “love” was a lofty one and not something she took lightly. She amended the traitorous thought. She loved it almost as much as she adored the woman who had taken over her heart so completely. Much better. Oh wow, the fingertips fluttering against her skin were really starting to do things to her. Isabel wondered what the rules were for fooling around in public. Technically, there was no one around this section of the beach. The colder temperatures had left it desolate. They were entirely on their own.
Isabel looked down, startled by the green eyes burning back at her. Aha, Taylor was as much affected by the contact as she was.
“Are we allowed to fool around?” Isabel whispered. “On a beach?”
“I don’t see anyone, do you?” Taylor popped her head up and looked around. It was all the encouragement Isabel needed.
“I only see you.”
Taylor smiled, and the corners of her eyes crinkled. “Hi.”
“Hi back.”
Isabel slid down in the seat until she and Taylor were face-to-face. She unbuttoned the jeans Taylor had borrowed and slipped a hand inside and watched as Taylor’s face transformed. “That’s unreal,” Taylor murmured, her eyes fluttering closed, her skin flushing as her hips moved. “Iz.” It never failed to amaze Isabel how much she enjoyed bringing Taylor pleasure, studying her as the pressure built slowly to a full-on explosion. She stroked Taylor’s perimeter, getting closer, brushing across her and then pulling away. Several times over. She listened to Taylor breathing, the only sound in the quiet car except for the tide rolling in yards away. This moment was everything. Taylor’s eyes crashed into hers, and in them she saw the need, the lust, the want looking back at her. Isabel knew Taylor’s body well enough to understand that she could give her what she wanted in a matter of moments. She stroked her more firmly and they found a rhythm. She pushed her fingers into Taylor and curled them, searching for the spot she knew would undo her.
“Don’t stop,” Taylor breathed, her mouth centimeters from Isabel’s as they sucked in the same air. It was perhaps one of the most sexually charged moments of her life. With a final shiver, Taylor went still in her arms, her lips parted as she rode out the release that Isabel had just given her in public, thank you very much. She smiled. Now, this was an interaction she would relive for weeks.
“You shock me every time at how quickly you can make that happen,” Taylor whispered.
“I was inspired. I’ve never had sex in a car before,” Isabel said, wrapping both arms around Taylor’s waist. “There’s probably some sort of form I need to fill out. You know, declaring it.”
“I think California might be corrupting you,” Taylor said with a smile. “I’m not going to complain.”
“You’ve already filled out the form, haven’t you?” Isabel eyed her.
“Maybe.”
She shook her head. “I have so much catching up to do. We should do more of this. Are you free tomorrow?”
Taylor laughed and kissed her. “Happy to assist in any way I can.” And with a tenderness Isabel had never experienced, Taylor reached up and gently traced the lines of Isabel’s face, outlining each feature as if it were precious to her. “I could lie like this forever, you know. Stare at you.”
Isabel stared back, understanding the sentiment entirely. Her heart soared, because maybe she wasn’t just a fling for Taylor, or a human shield against Aspen. What they had just might be the real deal. But the thought terrified her just as much as it made her happy, and she knew she’d be dealing with the repercussions soon, likely on the floor of her closet. In the meantime, she chose to shelve that depressing reminder and enjoy what was right in front of her.
She snuggled closer to Taylor. “Can I just say that I love the beach?”