After our outing in the forest, Alex’s pack decided to congregate in the classiest place open at one o’clock in the morning—the Waffle House, a true southern classic. We crammed into a booth and Ben dragged over a spare chair to sit at the end of the table. Seeing them as humans, I’d learned that their appearances as wolves didn’t necessarily correlate with their appearances as humans. Alex looked a bit like himself as a wolf. Zara did, too. She’d been the black wolf, and as a human, her hair was sleek and black. Her eyes were hazel, more gold than green, and her skin was only a few shades lighter than her hair. However, the white wolf—Alex’s cousin Skye—bore no resemblance to the pixie-like, brown-haired woman. Likewise, the other blond wolf, Ben, bore little resemblance to the human Ben, with his bright cobalt hair and brown eyes.

Alex sat beside me and put his hand on my knee, subtly reminding me that we were supposed to be boyfriends and deeply in love with one another. I adopted what I thought was a lovey-dovey expression. “That was fun,” I said. “Thank you, everyone.”

Zara inclined her head slightly, although her attention seemed more focused on her menu than on anything I might have to say.

“Don’t mention it,” Ben said. “Always nice to have new people around, bro. You’re cool with Alex, you’re cool with us.”

Skye nodded.

Okay, so far so good.

“So what do you do, Nick?” Zara asked.

She kept her attention on her menu. I wondered if she’d ever set foot in a Waffle House before or if she simply didn’t want to look at me.

“I’m a writing consultant at the University of South Alabama, where I’m working on my bachelor’s in astrophysics,” I said. Oh, this was easy.

Zara raised an eyebrow. Something flashed across her face. It might’ve been disbelief or confusion; it was too quick to say.

“I told you that,” Alex cut in. “I told everyone he’s going to be a famous astrophysicist.”

Alex wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him.

Zara’s gaze flickered up from her menu. “I know what you told us,” Zara said. “I was just making small talk.”

“Maybe I should ask what you haven’t heard about me, then,” I said, “If Alex really talks about me so much.”

“Well, hey, at least you’ll know when you’re going to come home to a wolf rather than a man,” Ben said. “Astronomy major and all. You probably keep track of the phases of the moon.”

“Sometimes.”

“So I have a question,” Ben said, planting his hands on the table and leaning dramatically forward. “What is your favorite color?”

Alex groaned. “Really?” he asked. “That’s the best you could think of?”

“Gray,” I answered. “Very boring, I know. But it’s comforting and looks good on me. That’s all I need from a color.”

“That’s fair,” Ben conceded.

“My dad’s favorite color is silver,” Alex offered. “I don’t think it’s boring. It’s kind of interesting—the brightness of white and the mystery of night combined into one color.”

“Yeah, that’s a good interpretation of it,” I said, sparing him my lecture about how colors worked.

“Better watch out. You break up with Nick, you might just disappear,” Ben said, looking at Alex and spreading his fingers as if to indicate magic. “You don’t want to mess with someone who’s that much smarter than you.”

Skye smacked Ben on the arm. “Don’t be so morbid around the dinner table!”

“Dinner?” Ben asked. “It’s morning! This is breakfast.”

Before Skye could retort, the server arrived to take our orders. Alex and his pack members ordered what sounded like half the food in the restaurant. I had no idea how all that food was supposed to fit on our table, and from the startled look on her face, I didn’t think the server knew, either.

“Would you like introductions?” Zara asked, side-eyeing me as she toyed with the straw in her drink.

“Of course,” I replied. “I’d like to get to know anyone who’s friends with Alex.”

That wasn’t even really a lie.

Zara nodded. “Zara,” she said. “I’m in the running to be the new alpha.”

Yes, and Alex had only invited her because excluding her would have been perceived as petty.

“We all know,” Alex said. “Why don’t you tell him something interesting?”

Zara’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t suffer fools gladly,” she deadpanned. “Nice to meet you, Nick. You can do much better.”

“My friend Cascade says so, too,” I lied.

“Your friend has good taste,” Zara replied.

“Wait, did she really say that?” Alex asked.

I smirked. “Why don’t you ask her, dearest?”

Alex’s eyes widened, and he threw a hand over his heart. “Because she might murder me with a steak knife! Like that one time!”

“Ooh…potential homicide,” I said. “Hilarious.”

“Damn straight!” Alex declared.

“Cascade is a very pretty name,” Skye said.

“It suits her,” I replied. “She’s a siren.”

Ben whistled between his teeth. “I’d choose a siren over this guy any day,” Ben said, jerking his thumb towards Alex.

“I’d offer to set you up with her, but she’d kill me,” I joked.

In truth, Cascade was only attracted to women, but hadn’t yet told anyone except me. I wouldn’t reveal her secret, even in front of people she might never meet. Cascade was my best friend and would’ve showed me the same courtesy.

Ben waved a hand and smiled in a friendly way. “Ah, well. Here’s hoping,” he said, raising his Coke in a mock-toast. “To being single.”

Zara raised her glass. I nearly raised mine out of camaraderie before remembering that I was in a relationship. At least as far as they knew.

“Alex has been talking nonstop about you for weeks,” Skye said, resting her chin between the palms of her hands.

Of course he has. I felt a sharp twinge of guilt. I was deceiving these people. There was no way to ignore that little fact any longer, but for some reason Alex’s arm across my shoulders made me want to.

“Is he taking you to the ball?” Skye asked.

“The ball?” I echoed.

“Ooh, he didn’t tell you?” Skye asked.

“Way to ruin my plans! I was going to be super dramatic about it,” Alex said turning toward me. “All the Southern packs are coming to our Mardi Gras ball. It’s a massive event, and I thought you might want to come. It’s a very important affair. Of course, being native to Mobile, I’m sure you’ve been to several.”

I hadn’t been to any of them. I might’ve grown up in Mobile, but my parents were from Jacksonville and had never bothered to explore what Mardi Gras was all about. But was Alex making assumptions because of my background, or was it an indication that I should lie and pretend to be more cultured than I really was?

“I’ve been to a few,” I said, choosing a neutral answer.

“Then you’ll be right at home!” Skye exclaimed. “How wonderful! And you’ll get to see them choose the new alpha.”

That was when my faux-relationship with Alex would end. Just a few weeks away. I dug my nails into the palms of my hands beneath the table. It would mean the end of my archery lessons. I could buy my own bow and shoot, of course, but it wouldn’t be the same. It wouldn’t be as good as it could’ve been if I’d bought my own bow and shot with Alex.

The food arrived and presented a welcome distraction. There were few things that couldn’t be cured with hot, crunchy hash browns and melted cheese. Alex moved his hand from my knee in favor of shifting around the plates on the table, as if he was playing some massive game of chess. I forced a smile. Each of them had at least eight plates a piece, while I had only one. “I feel like I’m not eating my share,” I said, attempting to be snarky.

“I don’t know how you survive at all on how little you eat,” Alex said. “That’s a patty melt and hash browns. You’re going to starve.”

“Well, excuse me for not ordering a full-spread Thanksgiving dinner at the Waffle House,” I joked.

“I like you,” Ben said, pointing a fork at me. “You like to give Alex shit. I like to give him shit, too. We’ll get along just fine.”

I nudged Alex with my shoulder, causing a painful twist in my stomach. “It’s all his fault for forgiving me,” I said. “If he wasn’t so generous, I wouldn’t give him so much flak.”

“I’ll always forgive you, darling,” Alex replied. “What kind of boyfriend would I be if I held a grudge against you for every single slight? I try very hard to strike back only when you really deserve it.”

“How gracious,” I said, rolling my eyes. “You’re going to be the next Mother Theresa, aren’t you? Congratulations.”

“Maybe you ought to do something with that mouth besides make fun of me,” Alex said.

“Oh?” I asked, arching an eyebrow.

Alex put his hand against my cheek and drew my face towards his. My heartbeat quickened. This was a bad idea. I could get out of this. I could laugh it off and tell him we shouldn’t be making any public displays of affection as it might make his friends uncomfortable. I could even make it sound funny. But I didn’t want to deny him.

When our lips met—his smooth and mine chapped from the dryness of winter—the world seemed to halt in its tracks. We could’ve kissed for hours or days or until the world ended and burst into flames, and I wouldn’t have minded. His mouth tasted and smelled of vanilla Coke, and his kiss was exactly what I’d imagined it would be. I wanted to deepen it, although I knew that was a terrible idea. Not in front of all these people. Not when we weren’t in a real relationship. Not when I had all these dangerous, unspoken thoughts swirling like a maelstrom inside my brain. When we parted, I drew a shaky breath.

Oh, crap. I wanted to kiss him again. More than anything. Right here at the table. Even Ben’s sarcastic applause didn’t deter the hot feelings twisting inside my stomach. It’d been months since anyone had kissed me like that, and I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed it. Alex’s mouth had been so soft and his hand so warm against my bare skin. I wanted to do it again and again until he was drawing breaths as shaky as mine, and then I wanted more.

I wanted to move my hands up his shirt and feel the hard muscles there. The muscles I’d only seen hinted at beneath too-tight shirts. God, I wanted everything I’d been missing since my last relationship crashed and burned. I wanted it and more, and I couldn’t have any of it. Not with Alex.

Because this was all an act. I was the fool trying to make it into something it wasn’t. This could only end in disaster, and for the briefest of moments, I thought it might’ve been worth it.

But how could one kiss possibly compensate for my stupid, inevitable heartbreak at the end of it all?

* * *

I managed to keep my composure until just after Alex dropped me off at my apartment. Then, every repressed emotion came boiling forth. I sat on the steps beneath the porch light. Cascade’s cherry-red convertible was parked nearby. It might’ve been better if she hadn’t been home. I didn’t want to face her right then. I didn’t want to deal with anyone. In truth, I just wanted to reverse time and beg myself never to accept this silly, straight-from-a-romantic-comedy scheme. But I’d made my bed, as the saying went. Now I had to lie in it.

I climbed to my feet and fished the keys out of my coat pocket. I unlocked the door and stepped inside. The apartment was quiet, but not asleep. I caught the telltale blue glow and soft hum of the television.

Maybe Cascade would be asleep in front of it and I could put off this conversation for another day. Maybe by tomorrow morning, I could convince myself that talking to her about this was a bad idea. I kicked my shoes off at the door and trod quietly across the carpet before peering into the living room. Cascade was curled up beneath a throw on the sofa, a bowl of popcorn on her lap.

“Hey, how was it?’ she asked.

I took a deep breath. “It was fun.”

At first.

“How did you feel about meeting everyone? Did they scare you?”

“No. They were really nice, actually.”

Cascade must’ve caught something in my voice or face, because she furrowed her brow and patted the space beside her. I was filled with a sudden longing for my mom, who stayed up all hours of the night, usually before the same ambivalent TV screen. I remembered sitting beside her as a kid and letting her pet my hair. I remembered being a teenager and telling her about my then-heartbreak. I wished she were here to comfort me now, but she’d moved to South Carolina with my new stepdad at the beginning of the semester. If I called now, at three in the morning, she would answer and give me the comfort I so longed for.

But I couldn’t disturb her at this hour. No, I needed to leave Mom out of this. Cascade was here. She’d understand. She’d listen to me even if I broke down and bawled my eyes out into her shoulder, like I had when my ex broke my heart.

Damn Brian, she’d said. I’m going to disembowel him with a rusty knife.

She hadn’t, of course, but I’d laughed all the same at the thought and the absurdity of it. I wanted to laugh now, but I couldn’t quite manage it. I couldn’t quite manage tears, either. I felt as though I’d fallen into some emotional dead zone where I felt everything too clearly, but lacked any ability to express it properly.

My heart was in my throat, and quietly, I moved and sat beside her. Without missing a beat, Cascade moved the popcorn to my lap and draped the throw over us both. She said nothing, uncharacteristically subdued in the face of my sour and silent mood. I kept quiet, though I could feel stress building within my chest and threatening to break loose. Cascade squeezed my hand and let her head rest on my shoulder. Her hair tickled the skin of my neck, as I drew a shuddering breath.

“If they hurt you, I’ll make sure they pay.” Her voice was frightening in its promise for retaliation and vengeance.

I had no doubt Cascade would make good on that promise if I had been hurt. She was so quick to protect me from others. So loyal. I was lucky to have someone like her in my life. I turned my head and kissed her cheek.

I counted to three in my head. “I made a mistake,” I said. “A big mistake.”

“Is it something that can be fixed?” Cascade asked. “Fixed, even though it might take a lot of work?”

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “This is all my fault.”

“What is?” Cascade asked. “Tell me all about it. It’ll make you feel better.”

“I’ve been pretending to be Alex’s boyfriend for too long because I—I like him, Cascade. I like him. What am I going to do?”

Cascade’s breath hitched. “Do you like him a lot?” she asked.

“Yeah. More than I’ve liked anyone in a long time, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to break it off and let him down. And we kissed tonight, and it felt wonderful. God, Cascade, I’ve really screwed this one up, and I don’t know how—only I could screw up a make-believe relationship.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Cascade said.

“No, I did! I’ve only known him for a few weeks! That’s not...it shouldn’t be long enough to decide you like someone! I’m just…just lonely and desperate and pathetic!”

Cascade rubbed soothing circles on my back. “It’s going to be fine, Nick. I promise.”

“No, it isn’t. I don’t know what to do. This whole thing ends come February. I don’t want it to end—but I do want it to end, so I can move on!”

“Have you talked to Alex about this?” Cascade asked.

“No, how can I? He’s been faking this whole time, and he’ll keep faking. If I tell him, it’ll just make things uncomfortable. No, the best I can do is tough it out and pretend there’s nothing wrong.”

“Poor Nick. I promise it’s going to be okay,” she said. “Just head on to bed. This won’t seem nearly as bad in the morning. It never does.”

I nodded, but I knew her words were ultimately useless. No amount of kind words could change the fact that I’d really screwed this up. My emotions had gotten in the way and sabotaged what should’ve been a fun game, an illusion of intimacy with no real substance.