Chapter 17

Sydney called Sabrina first to tell her about the sale of the Paris apartment, because she was the most directly affected by it. Sydney was so relieved to be able to tell her she could pay her back now for Steve’s fees and the five thousand she had paid to the bail bondsman in cash. The deed to her apartment had been returned by the bail bondsman as soon as Sydney was sentenced. And now she could pay Steve in full too. He had been patient about it, but it had weighed heavily on her, especially with what she owed Sabrina. In January, with the sale of the apartment, she would be able to pay it all.

“You don’t need to worry about it, Mom,” Sabrina reassured her. “I’ve been fine.”

“Well, I haven’t been. I’ve been worried sick about taking money from you. That’s not the way it’s supposed to be,” and it never had been before. But getting arrested had turned her whole world upside down. The sale of the Paris apartment would set it to rights again, or start to, and put things back in the order they were meant to be, with a mother helping her daughter, not the reverse. She never wanted to be a burden on her children again.

“Are you okay about the apartment, Mom?” Sabrina knew how much she loved it, and how sad she must be to give it up. She was, but other priorities were more pressing now, and the sale of the apartment would help her achieve them.

“I’m sad. I can’t pretend I’m not. But I’m glad in a way too. It was a place for Andrew and me. And now I can pay you back, which is more important to me. It was upsetting me terribly that I couldn’t till now. And I can give you a beautiful wedding, however you want it to be. I want you to have your dream wedding with Steve. So start thinking about where you want to do it.” She sounded jubilant when she said it. It had made her heart ache thinking that she couldn’t do all that she wanted for her, when Sabrina had announced their engagement on Thanksgiving.

“I don’t need a big wedding,” she insisted again graciously. “And I can chip in too. You shouldn’t have to pay for everything.” She didn’t want her mother to spend everything she had for her wedding, or too much, and she had told Steve she didn’t need anything elaborate and expensive, and neither did he. They were going to save money for a house, and with their combined salaries, they could buy a nice one, or an apartment in the city until they had children. And they were in no hurry to have kids yet. Sabrina wanted to concentrate solely on her career for several more years. She wasn’t ready to give that up at twenty-eight.

“I’m your mother and I love you,” Sydney insisted. “And I’m paying for the wedding, you’re not. So start thinking. We can do something really lovely. Maybe in a garden somewhere outside the city. People rent their homes for that.” They could have done it in Connecticut of course, in the “old days,” but there was no point thinking about that now. She didn’t want to look to the past. She wanted to be happy for Sabrina and stay focused on the present. The past was dangerous ground for her, a minefield of memories that would blow her to bits and break her heart if she let it. She didn’t want to go there anymore. The present was more important now, and moving forward. She still missed Andrew at times, but he had left her such dire problems to deal with that she had to switch her focus rapidly from grief to survival.

Sabrina promised to think about a location for the wedding, and she thanked her mother for her generosity.

Sydney called Bob when he arrived in Hong Kong, and told him about the Paris apartment. He was quiet for a minute, knowing that it was a double-edged sword for her, and bittersweet.

“Will you miss it terribly?” He knew how much the Paris apartment had meant to her. She had told him about it, and he could tell.

“Yes…no…” she said honestly. “I love it, but I couldn’t go back there now. It’s part of another life, and it’s giving me what I need now. I’m grateful for that. It’ll give me a cushion to live on so things aren’t so tight. I can pay back Sabrina for Steve’s legal fees. And I can give her a lovely wedding.” She sounded immensely relieved about that. “She’s being very sensible about it. She even offered to help, but I won’t let her. So to answer your question, I’m grateful for what selling the apartment will do for me, so I’m a lot less upset than I would have been otherwise.” She was being matter-of-fact about it and he respected her for it. He admired her courage, her spunk, and her style. She had an extraordinary ability to bounce back from events that would have crushed others. They talked about it for a while longer, and he said he’d love to go to Paris with her one day, “when she was no longer wearing her anklet,” as he put it. And then she went back to work.

She thought about the Paris apartment a few times that night, but reminded herself each time of the benefits she was deriving from the sale, which cheered her up. The realtor had emailed her the papers to sign on Tuesday. She had already signed them, scanned them, and emailed them back to her. All she wanted now was the money and to get on with her life. She had enough to keep her occupied without wallowing in the past.

But three days later, she felt like she’d been hit by a wrecking ball when she read that Russians had bought their house in Connecticut. She stared at the article and read it again and again, as tears rolled down her cheeks. The twins had gotten their asking price, but whatever the Russians had paid, they had gotten a piece of her heart. It was one thing to lose a pied-à-terre in Paris that had been a toy for them and a luxury, but selling the house that had been their home, with all of her most beloved belongings in it, tore her heart out.

She sat there and cried for an hour, as she looked out the window, thinking about it. And this time, Veronica didn’t call her. She never did anymore after Sydney told her not to. But their beloved home going to strangers was almost too much. And even worse right on the heels of the Paris apartment. Now everything was gone, only eighteen months after Andrew’s death, and so much of what they’d loved. No one could take the memories from her, but they had taken everything else.

Bob could hear that something was off when he called her that night, and at first she insisted that nothing was wrong when he asked. She didn’t want to talk about it, and didn’t think she could without crying.

“Tell me, Sydney, what happened?” He said it so gently that she started crying and couldn’t stop, and then told him that the house had been sold, with all their memories and all their history, and everything that had been stolen from her by her stepdaughters. Bob felt terrible listening to her and didn’t know what to say. He wanted to put his arms around her, and hated that he wasn’t with her to do it. They had to content themselves with words for now, and the fact that they loved each other.

“I can’t even imagine how hard this must be,” he said tenderly. It was almost like a fire or a flood or a hurricane that had swept everything away. “I’m so sorry they took it all away from you. It was so wrong of them.” And the part her husband had played wasn’t right either, but Bob didn’t say that to her. There was no point blaming Andrew now. He just wanted to console her. “It’s easy for me to say,” he said apologetically, “but you just have to go on and make a good new life.” She knew it too, and was doing her best to do so.

“I’ve been trying,” she said, crying harder, “and then I got arrested, and I wound up stuck in this stupid apartment.” She sounded like a little kid, and he smiled and loved her all the more.

“I’ll be there soon, in the stupid apartment with you,” he said in a loving tone and she laughed. She hadn’t lost her sense of humor, but occasionally it all got to her. And the sale of the Connecticut house was a hard blow that struck at her heart. It was truly gone now, and would belong to someone else. She wasn’t sure if that was better or worse than the twins owning it and Kellie living there.

They talked for a while after that, and Sydney sounded calmer and had regained her composure by the time they hung up.

“I’m sorry I got upset,” she said to him sheepishly.

“Don’t be ridiculous. That’s what I’m here for. I’d have been in a straitjacket by now after all you’ve been through. Women are much stronger about these things than men. I stayed in bed for a week when Brigid left, and we didn’t even like each other by then,” he said, and made her smile. “I’d be upset about the house too,” he said seriously. And it was hard having it happen at Christmas, when memories and losses were always more acute.

She thought about it again, late that night, looking out the window, and she missed Andrew fiercely for the first time in a while. She wasn’t as angry at him anymore, she just wished that things were different, and he was still alive. But she knew that she was lucky to have Bob, even if their love was new and they didn’t have much history yet. She was sorry they couldn’t spend Christmas together. But they both needed to be with their children, and lived worlds apart. They still didn’t know how they would manage it in the future. Neither of them could commute between Hong Kong and New York all the time, although some people did. And Bob was coming to see her regularly. But as long as she was still under house arrest, she couldn’t travel too, to lighten the load on him. There was nothing they could do about it. She was grateful that he came to see her as often as he did. Coming to spend New Year’s Eve with her would be her best Christmas gift from him.

Sophie visited her a lot on weekends now that she didn’t have a boyfriend. Sydney ordered dinner for them, and they watched movies together. She still missed Grayson, but knew the breakup was right. Sabrina was busy with work, Steve, and their plans for the future, although she hadn’t organized the wedding yet. She hadn’t had time.

Sydney had managed to do some Christmas shopping online. It felt strange shopping that way, but it was all she could manage, unable to get out of the apartment. The girls and Steve were planning to have Christmas Eve dinner with her, and Kevin and Ed. And the day after Christmas, Steve was taking Sabrina to Florida to meet his parents, and after that they were going to spend the weekend alone in Palm Beach for New Year’s Eve. Sophie was going skiing in Vermont with friends. It all sounded like a nice break to Sydney, whose horizons were limited now by a two-room apartment, and a window that looked out on the street. But she was happy they were willing to spend Christmas with her, and she enjoyed the time she was spending with Sophie, before she started dating again.

Sydney and Ed sent a lot of designs back and forth to each other in the weeks before Christmas. They were going to be closed between Christmas and New Year’s, and after that they’d have six weeks till their show. And she couldn’t be there to help this time. Coincidentally, it was going to be on Valentine’s Day, which seemed a little corny to her. And the time was coming closer. They had most of the designs done and the samples in production, except for a few where, as usual, they were waiting for fabrics from abroad that had been delayed. But there was plenty of time to catch up. And Ed was still sending her sketches of wedding gowns for Sabrina whenever he had time. It was a happy event to look forward to. They’d had too many sad ones in recent years. But finally, the tides had turned.

She was working on some drawings when Steve called her three days before Christmas and chatted with her for a few minutes, while she wondered why he had called, and then he asked if he could come to see her.

“Is anything wrong?” she asked nervously. He never came to see her alone, and her court case was closed, as long as she didn’t leave the apartment until the end of March, which was still three months away.

“Not at all,” he answered her. “I just thought I’d drop by if you’re not too busy working. I have a Christmas present for you, and I wanted to bring it over myself.” She was confused by what he said.

“Aren’t you spending Christmas Eve with us, Steve?”

“Of course. But I thought this might be useful for you for the holidays.” She wondered if he was bringing her a Christmas tree. She had already ordered one that would be delivered the next day. She wasn’t much in the Christmas spirit yet. The sale of the Connecticut house was still weighing on her. “What’s a good time?” he asked, persistent about dropping off his mysterious gift.

“Well, I won’t be out when you come,” she said and laughed.

“I hope not. How’s four o’clock?” She would be working, but could take a break anytime. She couldn’t imagine what it was.

He arrived promptly at the dot of four, and she stopped sketching and buzzed him in. She glanced in the mirror and saw that her hair was a mess and she had no makeup on, she hadn’t bothered with how she looked, she usually didn’t when she worked from home. He was wearing a business suit and a heavy coat and looked like he’d been to court that day, which was the case. He took off his coat and sat down on the couch with her.

They chatted for a few minutes about nothing in particular, and she was more mystified than ever as to why he was there, and then finally he got to the point.

“I wanted to bring you up to date on Paul Zeller, and I thought I’d do it in person.” She nodded, not sure why it mattered anymore. “He had a hearing this week, and they offered him a deal. Apparently, they’ve pulled a lot of information from his computers, and he’s been buying stolen goods for years. This wasn’t new. He’s always managed to do it under the radar, without pinning it on someone else. But you came along at the right time, pure as snow, and I guess he couldn’t resist using you and letting you take the fall if something went wrong. You were a great cover for him this time.”

“And they’re letting him go free?” She anticipated what he was going to say, and Steve shook his head.

“Hardly. He could get twenty or twenty-five years. They spelled it out to him. Money laundering, tax evasion, dealing in stolen goods. And it’s hard to trace, but there is some belief that money from counterfeit and stolen fashion items pays for terrorism in some parts of the world. The feds take this very seriously. They shut down his business after he sold it. The government is going to take what they consider their due, and I was told his ex-wife will get the rest. So he’s got nothing left. The U.S. attorney wanted him to get twenty years or more. But he’s got an outstanding lawyer who schmoozed the U.S. attorney, and everyone from here to the pearly gates, so they offered him a damn good deal. Ten years in prison, five on probation. And his lawyer somehow managed to get it down to seven and five. He’s damn lucky they offered him that deal, or he’d have been in prison for a hell of a long time. Zeller wanted to turn the deal down, but his lawyer wouldn’t let him. They would have crucified him at trial, particularly if they put you on the stand, to tell how you got prosecuted because of him. It would also make the U.S. attorney’s office look bad for being tough on you and making you an example. They tried to pressure you for information they now realize you never had. So Zeller took the deal, kicking and screaming all the way. He signed it yesterday, and they’re shipping him off to the federal penitentiary today or tomorrow. No bail in the meantime. He’s done.”

She sat thinking about it for a few minutes, and then nodded and looked at Steve. She suddenly remembered that Paul had a son in St. Louis who was a pediatrician and she wondered how he had reacted to his father going to prison, and she felt bad for him. She thought of all the grief and trauma Paul Zeller had caused her, when she had been innocent all along, and they hadn’t believed her, because Paul had lied.

“Thank you for telling me,” she said quietly. “Is that the Christmas present you meant?” She was curious, and needed time to absorb what he had told her about Paul Zeller. At least now it was over. And they weren’t after her anymore.

“It’s part of it,” Steve said, referring to his gift, as he reached into his pocket, pulled out a small scissor and held it up.

“What’s that for?” She looked puzzled.

“Well, as your lawyer, I managed to keep you out of prison, but you got stuck in here for six months,” he said, glancing around at the now vastly cluttered apartment, crowded with computer equipment and her giant screen to meet with Ed and follow the business on a daily basis. “And if that sonofabitch can get seven years instead of twenty-five, I figured they owe you one. I met with the judge this morning. You’re done, Sydney. They reduced it to three months, with credit for time served, so it’s over. They deactivated your anklet at four P.M. today. And they’ve reduced probation to a year, with permission to travel because of your work. The judge said you can keep your passport—just send your probation officer an email when you leave and get back. And as long as you have no further problems or convictions, the judge said he’d talk to us in six months or a year about terminating probation and expunging your record.” She was staring at him in disbelief. “They were overzealous with you and they knew it. Now they’re trying to get out of it as gracefully as they can.”

“You did all that today?”

“I did. You’re a free woman, Sydney. Now give me your leg, and let’s get that goddamn thing off and I’ll return it to the DA’s office.” He held out his hand as she looked at him in amazement, lifted her ankle, and he cut the plastic band that held it in place till it fell away, and he smiled at her. “Merry Christmas, Sydney,” he said, as tears poured down her face and she hugged him and gazed around the room as though seeing it for the first time.

“Oh my God…I’m free…I’m free! Can I go out?” Like an animal that had been chained up for three months, it was as though she had forgotten what to do when someone took off the chain.

“You can do anything you want. You’re free,” he repeated. “It’s over.”

“Oh my God…oh my God!” she said, chortling with delight and clapping her hands. Ed called her just then, and she didn’t pick up, which he knew meant she was either in the bathroom, the tub, or asleep. But she wasn’t ready to talk to anyone. She just wanted to savor the moment with Steve. “Do the girls know?”

He shook his head. “I thought you should hear it first.”

“You’re a miracle worker, thank you!” she said, and hugged him again, and he got up to leave.

“Wait, I’ll go out with you,” she said excitedly. “I’ll get my coat.” She reached into the closet and haphazardly grabbed an old fur and put it on. She felt a little crazy, with messy hair, a pair of ballerina flats, and an old mink coat.

“It’s freezing out there,” he warned her, but she was smiling and giddy and almost looked drunk she was so excited.

“I don’t care if I freeze to death. I haven’t had fresh air in three months,” literally to the day. “I’ll call the girls when I get back,” she said, sounding distracted.

“Don’t forget your keys,” he reminded her. She grabbed them off a table near the door, where Bob had left them the last time he was there. She put them in her pocket and shut the door behind them, and a minute later they were on the street. She glanced around her at the traffic and the people, the tall buildings, the dogs being walked, and people carrying Christmas trees home, and listened to the horns blaring. She looked as though she had landed in heaven and couldn’t believe her good luck. She hugged him again and he grinned at her. In Steve’s opinion, she deserved every break she could get from now on. “Be careful crossing the street!” he shouted after her as she walked away, looking dazed, and she turned and waved with a big grin on her face.

“I love you! Merry Christmas!” she called out to him, and then she just kept walking with a huge smile. She walked twenty blocks heading toward downtown, and then she strolled back, smiling at people, relishing every smell and color and face and sound and light. She loved the noise, and seeing everyone in a rush to go somewhere. She was going to tell her children, but she had decided not to tell Bob. She was going to surprise him when he came for New Year’s Eve. She was a free woman again! And just glad she was alive.