Drew was going to die. Actually, for real, seriously going to die. Either from happiness or terror or just…everything.

He stared out the dining room window into the darkness, sipping a mug of hot chocolate. He missed snow. In Minnesota, he’d always had white Christmases. He’d checked the weather on his phone a few minutes ago, and the blizzard was still going strong in Floodwood and the surrounding areas. His family would be snowed in, and they’d spend Christmas playing board games and drinking crazy amounts of hot chocolate. And he’d be… Who knew what he’d be doing?

He glanced toward the kitchen, where Javier and Asa were talking—probably about him. He closed his eyes and heard Asa’s voice. “So good, Drew. You were so good.”

Maybe he wasn’t making a total fool of himself. Or maybe Asa was just being nice. Because so far Drew had failed to make Asa and Javier come and then had lost control during what was supposed to be a punishment and nearly broken their heirloom gravy boat.

He could still feel Javier’s strong arms around him, reassuring him. Could almost get hard again thinking about it. There was something about Javier—so powerful and masculine. Like Asa, but tougher to read. Drew couldn’t figure out what would earn his praise and what would earn his censure. He wanted to impress Javier, but resented him a little too.

He imagined Javier fucking Asa. Imagined Asa’s groans as Javier slammed into him. Then he imagined the reverse—Asa, cool and authoritative, ordering huge, muscular Javier to take his cock. Javier’s head tipping back, the cords in his neck standing out, sweat trickling down his temples…

He was definitely going to die.

He was turned on, exhausted, and confused about what the fuck it meant to have such strong feelings for two people who didn’t need him. He was a bonus, an experiment. A slut for them to use for a night. They had no idea how long he’d waited for this. How incredible it felt to finally have it, and how impossible to imagine losing it.

He heard footsteps. Looked straight ahead. They’d said this was a break from the scene, that he didn’t have to do anything except enjoy his hot chocolate. But he was still jittery.

“How’s it going?” Javier asked from the doorway.

“Fine, sir.” Drew set the mug on the table.

“You good to keep going?” Asa slipped past Javier and entered the room. Leaned on the back of the chair across from Drew.

“Yes, sir.”

“Not much more.” Javier joined Asa. “I’m early to bed, early to rise.”

“Let’s end with a bang, then,” Asa said.

Javier laughed, then gripped the chair and tipped it back, making it creak. He nodded at Drew. “You’ve shown us you’re tough. So maybe we’ll turn it up a few notches.”

“Good.” Drew met his gaze. Saw that fire there again. “I’ve been wondering when we’d do something that’s actually challenging.”

“Oh-ho!” Javier turned. “You hear that, Asa? We’re not challenging him enough.”

Drew was probably going to regret saying that, but it was okay. He wanted to regret it.

“Hmm.” Asa drummed his fingers lightly on the table. “Drew. Would you come here, please?”

Drew stood and stepped around the table. Asa stared at him for a long time with the slightest frown on his face. Drew tried to keep his breathing steady.

“We were going to take this up to the bedroom.” Asa looked at Javier, then back at Drew. “But I suppose we can start here.” He snapped his fingers. “Bend over the table.”

Drew bent slowly. The wood was cool and smooth under his chest. He placed his palms flat on either side of his head.

“Legs spread,” Javier ordered.

“Ass out.” Asa patted his hip.

Drew obeyed, his cock pressing against the table’s edge, his back arched. His stomach clenched as Asa and Javier moved directly behind him. How many times had he fantasized about being ordered to bend over? How many times had he practiced, alone in his bedroom, leaning over his desk chair and sticking his ass out while he imagined Asa standing behind him?

“You got the stuff?” Asa asked Javier.

“Yep.”

Drew tried to turn his head to see them, but no luck. He heard the crinkle of foil. The uncapping of a bottle. Someone’s finger—Asa’s, Drew was pretty sure—pressed the small of his back and slid down, leaving a cold, wet trail. A pause. Rough hands jerked his cheeks apart, and then the finger was back, circling Drew’s hole, spreading lube around it. Drew pushed his hips forward involuntarily.

Nails dug into Drew’s ass cheeks. “Hold still.”

Drew swallowed and obeyed. The finger slowly pressed in, and Drew had to hold his breath to keep from moving. He was tight with nerves, and even the slight penetration hurt a little. His dick wasn’t hard again yet, and all he could think was that it was his first time getting fucked by Asa, and he wasn’t even going to be able to come.

Asa pushed another finger in. Moved them back and forth. Javier kneaded Drew’s ass, then moved his hand.

“Tired?” Javier bounced Drew’s soft cock.

“No, sir.” He gasped as Javier pulled his dick. One of the hardest things to get used to was the lack of control. The fact Asa could probe his ass while Javier handled his cock, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Slut. I’m your slut. His cock started to harden as Javier played with it.

Asa withdrew his fingers. Javier pinched Drew’s ass, the same tender spot Asa had pinched earlier. Drew hissed. A moment later, Asa leaned down and soothed the spot with his tongue. They did that a couple more times, Javier pinching, and Asa following with his tongue to ease the pain. Drew moaned and rolled his hips, and no one scolded him.

He felt Asa’s hand on his back, and he let out a breath as Asa began slapping his crack with his cock. “You’re gonna open up for me, Drew.” His voice was almost a whisper. “Aren’t you?”

“Yes, sir.” Drew didn’t know how to make Asa understand. He’d give him anything. Open up until he split in half, if that made Asa happy.

Asa started to push in. His cockhead was thick, and Drew flexed his fingers and tried to relax as Asa slid all the way inside. He reveled in a moment of complete stillness, Asa’s thighs against his, Asa’s cock filling him, stretching him. Asa started with a slow thrust, letting Drew feel everything—the head, the ridge, the slick length of the shaft. He gradually picked up speed. Drew closed his eyes, letting Asa’s soft moans carry him into a sort of trance. After a few minutes, Asa pulled out, and Javier stepped behind him. Drew tensed.

Javier didn’t give Drew a warm-up, just shoved his cock in and started pounding. Drew clenched and swiveled his hips, but Javier held him in place and took his pleasure in swift, violent strokes. The table creaked as Javier hammered Drew again and again. Drew threw his head back and groaned, his ass burning and clenching.

“My turn.” Asa swapped with Javier again. On it went. Drew lay exhausted across the table, letting them use him, his hips aching where Javier kept gripping him, his thighs twinging from trying to stay upright. He didn’t even recognize the sounds he was making—desperate pleas that never became words.

“Don’t you come,” Javier ground out as he slammed Drew hard enough to shift the hot-chocolate mug dangerously close to the table’s edge. “This time, slut, it’s a rule.”

“Let’s take him upstairs,” Asa suggested.

“Good idea.” Javier pulled Drew up by the hair, his cock still in Drew’s ass. He wrapped one arm around Drew’s waist and slapped his thigh with the other hand. “Move it.” Drew took a tentative step forward. Javier gave three quick thrusts into his ass, and Drew inhaled sharply. “Come on.”

“Sir, I…”

“Now.”

Drew started walking, and Javier held on to him, fucking him as they made their way to the stairs. It took some coordination to mount the stairs. When Javier’s cock slipped out, Javier immediately rammed it back in, making Drew’s knees buckle. Halfway up, Javier pushed Drew down on the carpeted steps and rode him while he pumped Drew’s cock. The carpet burned Drew’s knees and elbows, but he tried to stick his ass up and take it. Javier kept hitting Drew’s prostate, but with too much force for it to be fully pleasurable.

“Is this challenging enough?” Javier’s voice was low, close to Drew’s ear. “Is it…hard…not to…come…when I’m…fucking your brains out? Working your cock?”

Drew groaned, unable to answer. Javier slapped his balls. Drew wrenched away, trying to press his legs together, but that only made the burn in his ass worse. Javier pushed Drew’s legs apart and rolled his balls. “You are a slut. Such a little slut. Asa?”

“Yeah.” Asa stood a couple steps below them. “Look at him. He wants you to hump him like that all night.”

Drew’s shame was as intense as his pleasure. Javier gave three more hard thrusts before hauling Drew to his feet and smacking his ass. Drew lurched forward, startled, but was kept in place by Javier’s arm.

Javier fucked him all the way into the bedroom and onto the bed. Drew didn’t have time to take in the fact he was finally in Asa’s room, surrounded by Asa’s things. Suddenly he was on the bed on all fours, Javier’s balls bouncing against his ass, while Asa knelt in front of him and forced his now bare cock into Drew’s mouth.

Drew closed his eyes and lost himself in the weight of Asa’s cock on his tongue, the taste of him, his sighs as Drew sucked him. He felt the heaviness of his own cock as Javier struck his prostate, creating dizzy bursts of light behind his eyelids. The pressure was building in his balls faster than he could process it. He hummed his frustration, and Asa shot into his throat. Pulled Drew’s face into his groin. Drew struggled to breathe.

Javier gave a series of gasps and strained against Drew. Pinched his ass again, making Drew clench. With his last ounce of strength, Drew tightened those muscles voluntarily, squeezing Javier’s cock. Javier laughed breathlessly as he fell forward onto Drew’s back. He stroked Drew’s shoulders. “Oh, chiquito. That was hot.”

Javier pulled his cock out and removed the condom. Drew cleaned Asa’s dick with his tongue while Javier casually stuck two fingers into Drew’s stretched hole and kept fucking him. Drew tightened his thighs. He was going to come. Going to fuck up. He sighed with relief as Asa gripped the base of his dick and held tight until the immediate danger subsided. Javier withdrew his fingers.

Asa eased Drew down on the bed with Drew’s head in his lap. Javier adjusted his position so he was sitting on the edge of the bed, Drew’s legs over his thighs. Asa combed Drew’s hair with his fingers while Javier rubbed Drew’s back. Drew felt hazy, half-asleep. But his heart wouldn’t slow, and he couldn’t shake the desire to rub against the bedspread, against Javier’s thigh, anything.

“Love you,” Asa murmured, and Drew froze. For just a second, he thought Asa had been talking to him. He rolled onto his side.

“Love you too,” Javier said. Drew looked up in time to see them lean in and kiss. He buried his head in Asa’s lap.

“What do you think?” Asa gently tugged Drew’s hair. “Bedtime?”

Drew’s throat tightened. He wasn’t sure how to answer. He was exhausted, but he didn’t want the night to be over.

“Definitely for me.” Javier patted Drew’s thigh. “You can stay here tonight, chiquito. You’re in no shape to drive.”

Drew didn’t know how to respond. Stay here?

“We have a guest room.” Asa ran his finger along the edge of Drew’s ear.

Drew shifted to look up at him. “I can’t do that. I…“

Asa smiled. “Shhh. Go with Jav.”

“I’ll show you to your room.” Javier’s voice was warm.

Drew wanted to stay here. In fact, he wanted to sleep in this bed with them, curled against Asa. But that wasn’t right, wasn’t okay. He ground his cock against the comforter, wishing Javier would touch his thigh again, would smack his ass. Anger pushed aside his bliss for a moment, then disappeared, leaving him drained.

He got up when Javier told him to, legs weak. Javier went to the closet and pulled out a couple of items Drew couldn’t make out in the dim light. Put a hand between Drew’s shoulder blades and guided him down the hall to the guest room. The room was small and cozy. Blue walls and lace curtains. A double bed with a thick blue-and-white comforter and huge, puffy pillows. A nightstand with a lamp. It was inviting but…empty.

“Go lie down,” Javier said softly.

Drew climbed onto the bed. Realized he didn’t even have the energy to get under the comforter. He sighed and buried his face in the pillow. It smelled like fabric softener.

Javier sat on the edge of the bed and stroked Drew’s back. Turned on the bedside lamp. “You all right?”

Drew nodded.

“We’re right down the hall if you need anything.”

“Thank you.” Drew didn’t feel like saying “sir.” He wasn’t their slut anymore. He was the extra, relegated to the spare room.

“I’m just going to get you ready for bed, chiquito.”

Drew tensed as he heard Javier uncap the lube again. But he let Javier spread his legs and press something—a plug—into him. “Ow.”

“Oh, now. How do you think that makes me feel? You don’t ‘ow’ when I put my cock in you, but you ‘ow’ at a plug?”

Drew laughed. “Sorry.”

Javier brushed the small of Drew’s back with his fingertips. Drew’s skin prickled under the touch, and pleasure spread from his groin up through his chest. “You took a good fucking. You know?” Javier pushed the plug the rest of the way in.

“Never been”—he winced at the discomfort—”fucked like that before.” He hesitated, weighing whether he really could trust Javier enough to say what he really wanted. “You should…you should both do me.”

“Didn’t we?” Javier sounded confused.

“I mean at the same time.” Drew spoke quickly into the pillow. “Both your cocks.”

“You want to double? You serious?”

Drew raised his head slightly. “What if I am?”

“Ohhh, kid. Be careful what you wish for.”

“I know exactly what I’m wishing for,” Drew said to the headboard.

Javier ruffled Drew’s hair. “We’ll talk tomorrow. With Asa.” He helped Drew under the covers. “You really will try anything, won’t you?”

“Almost.”

“Hold out your hands.”

Drew did, and Javier wound a tie around his wrists—one of Asa’s ties; Drew recognized it. Blue and silver stripes.

“This is a quick-release knot. You can reach the end here, see? All you have to do is pull, and it comes undone. Show me you can do that.”

Drew pulled and released the knot.

“Good.” Javier retied it. “So you’re not really restrained. It’s more…symbolic.”

Asa entered the room, and Drew went still. “Hey.” Asa came over to the bed. Crouched beside it. “You all right?”

“Fine.”

“He’s all set,” Javier said.

“Nice.” Asa reached for the plug. Worked it in and out of Drew’s ass for a minute while Drew groaned. Then Asa leaned down and kissed his temple. He stopped breathing. “You’re gonna keep that in all night, aren’t you?”

“Yes, sir.”

“‘Night, Drew. Sweet dreams.” Asa pulled the covers over him.

“Visions of sugar plums and canes, I hope,” Javier added. “I mean, candy canes.”

Drew nestled into the bed. “Night.”

Asa and Javier got up. Javier switched off the lamp, and they both stood in the doorway for a moment, murmuring. Drew saw their silhouettes reach for each other. Share a long kiss.

They left. Drew closed his eyes and let sadness wash over him.

* * *

Asa wasn’t in bed when Javier got back from the bathroom. He headed downstairs and found Asa in the lounge, kneeling in front of the tree. There were only a few presents under it—they didn’t go overboard with gifts at Christmas. Presents from Javier’s parents and his family. A few from Javier to Asa, and from Asa to Javier.

They had the best of both worlds, Javier knew. Eight days of Hanukkah presents and food and then Christmas. They weren’t particularly religious, but the rituals and the traditions they shared with each other reminded them of their childhoods, of their family histories. It felt good to weave them together and carry them into their future.

Asa slid a thin present—something wrapped in glossy red paper and tied with a yellow ribbon—into the trash bag he was filling.

“What’s this?” Javier nudged Asa’s hip with his toe. “Has the Grinch canceled Christmas?”

“The Grinch has postponed Christmas. Well, Christmas presents. I don’t want Drew to feel left out if…”

“If what?”

Asa looked at him. “If he stays through Christmas.”

“Ah.” Javier ignored the flash of hurt he felt.

Asa shifted, rubbing his jaw the way he did when he was anxious. “Is that okay? If I ask him?”

“Of course.” Javier knelt beside him to help. He wasn’t used to seeing Asa uncertain. What was it about Drew that was throwing them off-kilter? They’d played with subs before. Invited guys home overnight, or for weekends, even for longer. But Drew was different. A part of Javier had known it the first time Asa had mentioned him.

“So. There’s a new guy at the office.”

“Is he hot?”

“So fucking hot, Jav.”

It was a game they’d played a hundred times before: getting off on their fantasies of guys from work, or the club, or guys they’d seen on the street. But for Drew, within days it had gone beyond the physical.

“He’s…he’s a nice guy, Jav.”

Javier hadn’t felt threatened by that. Maybe he should have. Maybe, when this thing played out, he’d look back and tell himself it was Christmas that had ruined everything. Except he felt it too—Drew was something different.

He was afraid Drew would change things. He was afraid he already had, and that whatever was happening here now had begun months ago with Asa’s “He’s a nice guy, Jav,” and by the time Javier had seen the danger, it was already too late.

Asa ran his fingers over a present. From Javier’s parents to Asa. A sweater, Javier knew, knitted by his mother, and the biography of Nelson Mandela that Asa had been eyeing in the bookstore earlier this month. Asa shoved the present into the bag almost roughly and shook his head. “I mean, I feel bad. We got to do my holiday, and not yours.”

The menorah was still sitting on the mantel because Asa hadn’t put it away yet. They’d bought it their first Hanukkah together. It was old, probably antique, and a little dented. It had come out of a cardboard box at a garage sale in Yuba City. The guy selling it’d had no idea who it had belonged to, so Asa had announced it belonged to them now. A battered, discarded menorah, but it must have been some family’s heirloom once. They’d rehabilitated it, Asa said.

“Ours.” Javier threaded his fingers through Asa’s. “Our holidays.”

“Ours,” Asa echoed. He put the last present in the bag and tied it closed. Stared at the tree for a while. “Is this a mistake?”

“I don’t know.”

Asa nodded. “Do you want to stop?”

Javier almost wished he did. He reached out and tapped a glass bauble on the tree, sending it swaying. He wasn’t sure what he could offer Asa in this moment, when they both felt they were tipping off balance somehow. When neither of them knew how to find solid ground again.

The truth was all he had. It was all anyone had.

The bauble danced under the colored lights of the tree. Asa gripped his hand a little tighter.

“No,” he said at last, thinking of the way Drew had submitted to his punishment, the way he’d shivered and moaned between them, and the way he’d looked at Javier when Javier had bound his hands for sleep. “No, I don’t want to stop.”

Asa ran a thumb over his knuckles. “Let’s go to bed.”

Javier followed him upstairs, where they undressed and crawled under the covers. Kissed for a few minutes, then rolled onto their separate sides.

He loved his life with Asa. More than he’d ever expected to love anything. He hadn’t even known he had this much love in him until he’d met Asa. When he was younger, he hadn’t imagined anything like this. Boys in his town didn’t bake. They didn’t decorate. Javier had dreamed he’d be a footballer, that he’d grow up and marry a nice Chilean girl. That he would learn to like kids and would have some of his own.

His parents were proud of his job. They were glad he was happy. They even liked his “friend.” But he would never be quite what they wanted. Most of the time, it didn’t bother him. But tonight, with Drew in the next room, he thought about what his parents would say if they knew about this. He didn’t just have a live-in “friend”—he invited other “friends” over to his place too. Hurt them, fucked them. And they liked it. He liked it.

He listened to Asa breathing beside him. Asa was awake too. It was just a question of who was going to speak first. Javier almost never talked about how much the thing with his family hurt. Even to Asa. He still believed it was best to keep pain to himself.

Which was why Drew scared him. Drew trusted so easily. Asked to hurt. He wasn’t afraid to show what he was feeling. Javier thought he had been able to see the moments tonight when Drew’s fantasies gelled completely with what he was experiencing, and the moments when imagination and reality clashed.

And he could see, always, the absolute longing when Drew looked at Asa. The way that longing transformed into wariness whenever Drew looked at him.

“I like him,” he said softly to the ceiling.

Eventually Asa replied, “Me too.”

Javier rolled toward him. Saw the whites of Asa’s eyes in the dark. “You’re too nice to him,” he said, just to rile Asa.

Asa grinned. “I gotta play good cop.”

“You were never that nice to me when I first bottomed for you.”

“Excuse me. I went easy on you because you challenged me on everything. I hit too hard, I asked too much, your dick was gonna fall off if I didn’t let you come…”

“I was not that bad.”

Asa goosed him. “You were a terror. Drew’s trying hard.”

“I tried hard.”

“To drive me crazy.”

Javier snickered. Gradually sobered. “He doesn’t like me as much as he likes you.”

“He’s known me longer.”

Javier took stock of the room’s shadows. Moonlight drifted in through the thin curtains, and Javier found himself trying to picture the snow in Floodwood, Minnesota. Must be hard for Drew to be so far away from his family this time of year. Javier knew the feeling. “I want some time with him tomorrow. Just him and me. Okay?”

Asa hesitated. “Okay.”

“What?” Javier turned toward Asa again. “You don’t want to be left out?”

“It’s not that.” Asa shifted. Found Javier’s hand and laced their fingers. “Maybe it is. I don’t know.”

“Just a little bit of time. A scene where you’re not there.”

“Okay.” They kissed. “Tomorrow’s Christmas Eve,” Asa said.

“What’s it to you, Lindeman?”

Asa smiled against Javier’s lips. “Say the word for it. In Spanish.”

“Nochebuena.”

Asa’s smile broadened. “Nochebuena.”

Javier gathered Asa in his arms. “So,” Asa whispered. “What’s your plan?”