Drew dozed on the couch. He was wrecked, poor kid. Asa leaned in the doorway and watched him sleep for a little while. The lights on the Christmas tree blinked and flashed, illuminating Drew’s face with pools of bright color. He had the afghan pulled up to his chin. Shame.

Javier was still gone. Usually Asa would have accompanied him, but Asa was just as happy to stay and look after Drew. He hadn’t gotten much out of him about the scene. Drew had come downstairs, dazed-looking and clutching a hand towel—Asa hadn’t quite figured out why. He had the towel tucked under his chin now as he slept.

Asa stepped closer, squinting. There was writing on the towel. An N, and…

Jesus Christ in a manger. Javier’s crying towel. The one he’d shoved in the closet under his socks and never used after Asa gave it to him. The one Asa loved to tease him with whenever Javier bottomed.

“Want me to get your towel?”

Javier refused to ask for comfort after scenes—or, more accurately, refused to bottom in scenes that might leave him shattered enough to need it. On the rare occasions he found a scene hard to handle, he preferred to joke about it rather than break down.

Every once in a while, though, Javier would curl up in Asa’s arms when they were done playing. Rest his head on Asa’s chest and stay silent for a while. That was as close as Javier got to admitting he needed some recovery time.

Asa went to the kitchen and set a pot of milk on the stovetop. It wasn’t real hot chocolate, Javier said, unless it was made this way. Asa pretended to indulge him but secretly agreed wholeheartedly.

A tray of gingerbread cookies sat cooling on the counter. Sometimes living with Javier was like being married to Betty Crocker on speed. As much as Asa loved cookies, he also loved fitting into his pants at New Year’s. He heard the front door open and went out into the hall to find Javier taking his coat and scarf off. He still had two tins of cookies with him.

“More cookies, Jav? Seriously?”

“I forgot the Kellermans were away, and I baked too many. So sue me.”

Asa took his coat and hung it up. “I guess I won’t sue you.”

Javier glanced toward the living room. “Drew all right?”

“Barely got two words out of him before he fell asleep on the couch.” He followed Javier into the living room.

Javier stopped. “Oh God.”

“What?” Asa stepped behind him and rested his chin on his shoulder, twining his hand with Javier’s.

“He’s beautiful. Isn’t he?”

“Yeah,” Asa said softly.

“I hope I didn’t screw everything up.”

“Will you just tell me what happened? It can’t be that bad.”

Javier didn’t answer. He squeezed Asa’s hand, then let go and went to the couch. Knelt beside it. Placed a hand on Drew’s shoulder and whispered something.

Drew woke slowly, stretching and blinking at Javier. Javier was quiet; Asa couldn’t make out what he was saying. But Drew slipped his arm out from under the throw and took Javier’s hand. “I’m sorry.” His voice was rough. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to say what I said.” He clutched the towel tightly in his other hand.

Javier leaned forward and pressed his forehead to Drew’s.

Asa watched the two of them, bathed in the soft light from the tree. He didn’t want this to end. He wanted them both here in this living room, even when the tree was gone. When sun was streaming through the windows. When the leaves were on the ground. He had the sensation he was sinking, that something was happening beyond his control, and that he either wanted to disappear or…

Or figure out what the hell that something was.

He stepped forward. “Listen, you two,” he said. “I think we need to talk.”

* * *

IN WHAT LANGUAGE was “we need to talk” ever a good thing? Drew scooted up to the end of the couch, dragging the throw with him as if modesty still counted for something. Well, it did. If he was about to be given the “It’s not you; it’s us” speech, he didn’t want to hear it with his dick on display.

“No,” Asa said. “You sit in the middle, Drew.”

That made his stomach flutter. He shifted, and Asa and Javier sat on either side of him.

“Okay.” Asa stared at the Christmas tree for a while.

Javier mumbled something under his breath.

“Okay,” Asa said again. He met Drew’s gaze and smiled slightly. “I think, somehow, we’ve gotten a little over our heads, right?”

Heat rose in Drew. Humiliation, yes, but pride followed hard on its heels. The urge to prove he could handle whatever Asa and Javier threw at him—Javier, mostly. “I can take it!” So he’d fucked up the enema scene. Big deal. He’d taken everything else, hadn’t he?

Javier groaned. He sounded frustrated. “Not sure I can, chiquito.”

Asa smiled slightly and nodded.

“What?” Drew looked back and forth between them. He was missing something, and he was suddenly afraid he knew what they were really talking about, and it had nothing to do with physical limits. “You mean…”

God. He hadn’t come here to drive a wedge between them at Christmas. Okay, so in his worst fantasies he had. In those, Asa would be so blinded by his sudden love for Drew that he’d forget all about Javier, and he and Drew would live happily ever after. Cue twittering birds and affectionate forest animals. But that was before he’d met Javier. And even if Drew struggled to get a read on the guy, he didn’t want to ruin his relationship.

Asa reached up and cupped Drew’s cheek. “I mean this is going in a direction Jav and I haven’t been before with a third. We like you, Drew.”

Drew’s heart beat faster. He glanced anxiously at Javier.

“We like you.” Javier’s voice was low.

“Okay.” Drew swallowed. “So what?”

Javier raised his brows.

“I mean, what difference does it make? Are we still going to play today? Am I still your slut?” Drew wondered if he’d always get that same thrum of pleasure in his gut just from saying the word aloud.

“Not talking about today.” Asa leaned closer, and suddenly Drew knew this time they were going to kiss, and this time it would be okay because Javier was here too.

Javier put his fingers under Drew’s jaw and turned his head quickly. “What we’re wondering is, do you like us?”

“Well, yeah!” Drew sat back, heart pounding. What the hell were they getting at?

Asa’s lips brushed Drew’s cheek, and his soft, amused laugh echoed in his ear.

Javier kissed Drew instead, and Drew opened his mouth under the bruising pressure of his lips. Javier kissed roughly. Of course he did. His tongue pushed into Drew’s mouth, and he cupped his hand around the back of Drew’s head, leaving him nowhere to go. Drew wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere else anyway. He closed his eyes and moaned.

“My turn, Jav.”

Drew didn’t even open his eyes. Just turned his face in Asa’s direction when Javier pulled away, and finally kissed the man he’d been fantasizing about for six months now. Asa’s kiss was softer than Javier’s but no less possessive. Drew twisted the little towel in his fingers. OWNED AND LOVED.

Asa broke the kiss, and Drew sighed and opened his eyes again. Looked from Asa to Javier and back again.

“Do you still want to be our slut?” Asa asked.

Something seemed to lift and plummet in Drew at the same time. “Yeah,” he whispered. “But I…”

They waited. Drew shook his head. “Never mind.”

“What were you going to say?” Asa’s gaze was soft.

Drew gripped the blanket. He couldn’t say it. Shouldn’t say it. I know I can’t—be what you are to each other. And I shouldn’t even want to try. He looked at Javier. I wish I could be more than your slut. I can’t help it, but I do. He turned to Asa. And you…

I’ve always wanted you.

Asa stared back at him, and Drew couldn’t read his expression. Something regretful in it. But there was joy too. Drew felt it rather than saw it. Colored light on Asa’s skin, and peace in every line of his face, like someone had told him a wonderful secret. And Drew hadn’t even said anything.

“It’s hard,” he started. “Because I want you both. But I don’t know…what this is.”

“It’s hard for me too,” Asa murmured. “I’ve fantasized about you, but now you’re here, and it’s—different.”

Drew’s chest tightened. All this time, Asa had been thinking about him too? So why wasn’t Drew living up to the fantasy? Tell me. Tell me how to be what you wanted. I can learn.

“I thought it could be simple,” Asa went on. “A one-night session. But I keep…” He glanced at Javier. “I’m sorry, Jav.”

“It’s all right.” A slight roughness in Javier’s voice.

Drew went still.

Asa turned back to Drew and looked at him with such longing that it took all Drew’s self-control to stay put. Not to kiss him again. To let Asa and Javier decide where the boundaries were. He didn’t want to come between them. He didn’t. He wanted to be part of both of them. He just didn’t fucking know how.

“Touch him, Asa.” Javier spoke quietly. “I know you want to.”

Asa let out a breath. Tilted his head at Drew, a question in his eyes. Drew nodded. His throat ached, and he couldn’t have spoken if he’d wanted to.

Asa reached out to touch his cheek. Moved his fingers gently across the bone and let them drift down over Drew’s lips. Drew turned his head as Asa passed his thumb over his lower lip, then down his chin. Asa leaned in and kissed him tenderly, sliding his hand under the blanket. Drew’s thighs tensed as Asa grazed his nipple. He arched, trying to get more of Asa’s touch, more of Asa’s mouth.

Asa sent his hand lower, to the crease of Drew’s groin, and Drew had to break the kiss to get air. Asa licked Drew’s lip and continued to tease around his cock, never touching it. He slid to his knees on the floor.

They shared a smile—quiet, private, perfect. Then Drew arched his back as Asa put his head under the blanket and blew a stream of air on his nipples, his belly, and then his cock. Drew opened his eyes just as Javier grabbed a fistful of his hair and kissed him roughly. At the same time, Asa pressed his tongue to Drew’s balls, making him cry out into Javier’s mouth.

Javier leaned back, breathing hard. “I know I’m not Asa. But I—“

“It’s both of you.” Drew’s voice was frantic, hushed. “You two together—that’s what makes it work.” He squirmed, caught between the dual sensations of Javier’s painful grip on his hair and the slide of Asa’s tongue against his balls. “Oh God.”

“Both of us, huh?” Javier wet his lips.

Asa pulled his head out from under the blanket. “All of us. We all work together.”

For some reason, even though those words should have pleased Drew beyond measure, they scared him more than anything Asa or Javier had said to him so far. “But we don’t…” Drew couldn’t believe he was going to say this. Javier and Asa looked at him expectantly. “We don’t know each other. Not really.”

And that was the truth. They could have all the kinky sex they wanted, but it didn’t change the fact that neither Asa nor Javier really knew a thing about Drew, besides that he responded well to rimming. And as much as Drew wanted to believe he knew Asa—knew him on a soul-deep level—it wasn’t true. Even less so with Javier.

Asa’s mouth pressed tight, and Drew felt he’d disappointed him. Even Javier looked grave.

“So what do we do?” Asa had stopped touching Drew, and Drew missed the contact so much he ached.

“Keep playing,” Drew suggested. They both looked at him. “Why not? We’ll get to know each other better that way.”

Javier nodded. “And if at the end of our time together, we’ve all enjoyed ourselves… Maybe we play in the future?”

“Yes.” Drew felt a rush of relief. That was enough for now. That was all he needed, just an assurance this wouldn’t end.

“Okay.” Asa sounded uncertain.

Drew was worried the mood had broken for good. But then Javier put a hand on his shoulder. “Did you tell Asa what you told me last night, chiquito? What you wanted us to do to you?”

Shit. What he’d said last night, wrung out with exertion and so turned on he’d been buzzing, was crazy. But then, so was everything that had happened here. He couldn’t even look at Asa. Had to look at the blanket. “I want you both to fuck me.”

Asa laughed. “What do you think we did last night?”

“No. I want you to double me.” His face burned.

“Fuck,” Asa said. “Are you sure about that?”

“Yes.” Drew squirmed as Javier slid a hand between the folds of the throw and up Drew’s thigh. Fear and desire mixed together.

“What do you say, Asa?” Javier dug his nails into Drew’s hip. “Should we show him what the two of us can do together? What we all can do together?”

“Maybe.” Asa nuzzled Drew’s neck. “If you show us you can take a big enough plug, maybe.”

“I can. I’ve got plugs at home. Big ones. And I want this. I do.”

Javier stilled suddenly, his fingers grazing Drew’s shaved groin. He sniffed loudly. “What the hell is that?”

A strange burning smell.

“Is that milk?”

“Shit!” Asa jumped to his feet. “I left it on the stove!”

They both rushed for the kitchen. Drew followed.

“Are you trying to burn the house down, mi corazón?” Javier, a tea towel wrapped around his hand. He dumped the smoking pot into the sink and twisted the oven dial off.

“I was trying to make hot chocolate.”

Drew watched as Javier pulled Asa close and kissed him. Dug his fingers into his ass and ground against him. “You’re a menace. Go and get a cloth and clean the stove before the milk sets.”

I’ll never have that.

“Oh, yes, sir.” Asa rolled his eyes.

Javier glared at him, then turned and flashed a smile at Drew. “And as for you…”

“Me?” Drew’s heart stuttered. He hadn’t done anything wrong.

Javier’s smile grew predatory. “Drop the blanket and get in here. Now.”