I really do feel sick, so as soon as Luetta brings us our glasses of water, I chug mine down and ask for a refill.
“Shit,” he curses quietly after she walks away to retrieve our food.
Honestly, I can’t even think about eating right now, but knowing it may literally be our last meal, I’m left feeling conflicted. If the restaurants in one of the busiest areas in the country can’t keep their food supplies up, what does that mean for regular people? For the poor? And how many will risk being infected by Pestilence just so they can feed their families?
It’s like we—the Horsemen—are not only connected by fate, but by plagues. Pestilence got the ball rolling, and when War came into place, it split the country’s resources. People went out and started hoarding food and water. And now that Famine has arrived, there’s not enough to go around. If the first three of us have inadvertently killed tens of thousands, what could I do? How could Death be any worse than disease, violence, and starvation?
Our meals arrive, and while I’d much rather give it to someone who needs it more, I scarf down as much as I can as fast I can, knowing that I’ll need my strength if we have any hope of putting an end to all this suffering.
“We should contact the Se7en,” I suggest after I’ve eaten my fill. “We need help. And maybe if Lilith knew she was causing this outbreak, she could try to fight it.”
When Lucifer shakes his head, I’m not the least bit surprised. “The closer together you are, the chances of you activating are greater. The Horsemen work like a domino effect. One ultimately sparks the other. If we were to cultivate all three in one centralized location, it would be catastrophic.”
I lift a knowing brow, understanding why Lucifer has tried to isolate me. “So that’s why you were pissed about Gabriella being here.”
“Correct,” he nods. “With the three of you scattered, one area won’t be completely slammed with plagues.”
“But certainly, the plagues will spread, right? The flu virus has already hit the east coast and cases are being reported overseas.”
“But you aren’t overseas. You’re here. If the first three Horsemen were to all show up in New Orleans, you would most certainly be activated.”
“And I would bring death to everything in my path.”
I huff out my hopelessness and push my plate away. The odds have always been stacked against us, but this is much worse than we anticipated. If Famine is here, that means that Saskia must be in the vicinity. And with Gabriella’s capture, there’s no way of knowing if she’s being held in the city or elsewhere. Lilith being across the country is our last hope, but there’s no telling how long she’ll stay there. We’ve been here for almost a week. Surely, she and Andras are on their way back to Chicago, or onto another mission. And if Toyol’s intel is sufficient, then they’ll be following Legion’s trail of murder-suicides, just like we are.
“Do you think Legion is capable of doing this? Of releasing the Horsemen?”
Lucifer begins to shake his head then shrugs. “I don’t know what he’s capable of anymore. He’s certainly powerful enough, but he’s always been more martyr than murderer. He would have anticipated that there would be mass casualties, and found another way to end his life.”
“I hope you’re right,” I nod. “Because if he knew he caused all this, he’d never be able to forgive himself. He’d have no reason to try to fight his way back.”
“Yes, he would. He has one very good reason,” Lucifer disagrees pointedly. “You.”
I sigh, wishing I could breathe his words into existence.
I’d always believed that a man would never be the key to my salvation. No matter how fiercely he cared for me, I would not be made whole by his affections. His love could ease the ache of loneliness. It could soothe the sting of deep-rooted feelings of inadequacy. It could even be strong enough to stitch my shredded heart, but it would not save my soul. That was entirely up to me. And there was no amount of pretty smiles and even prettier words that could ever change that.
I’m starting to realize that it would be the same for Legion. Because broken people cannot heal broken people. No matter how deeply I feel for him, I can’t imagine trying to pick up the pieces of his life when my hands are too full of my own.
But, I’d still love him. Jagged shards and all.
Luetta returns to gather the dishes. Lucifer and I don’t pass another word between us until I stand.
“Where are you going?”
“Bathroom,” I answer. I’m still not feeling great, but now nerves have replaced the hunger.
Lucifer’s gaze sweeps over the space before he begins to climb to his feet. “I’ll go with you.”
“I don’t need a babysitter,” I insist. “It’s twenty feet away.”
“Still…you shouldn’t be alone.”
I roll my eyes and heave an impatient breath. “I need three minutes of privacy. If I don’t come back within that timeframe, you’re welcome to follow me in. Ok?”
Eyes narrowed, Lucifer purses his lips. “Fine. Three minutes.”
I make my way towards the restroom around the corner, careful to keep my eyes open for any distinguishable markings that could serve as clues. Clues to what, I have no idea. But if there’s a force here strong enough render Lucifer and Dark royalty useless in order to capture the Dark queen, then I’m smart enough to know that it won’t be the last we see of it.
With my palm pressed against the wooden door marked for the ladies restroom, I catch a blur of motion out of the corner of my eye. Then in the stutter of an immortal heartbeat, I’m being heaved inside. My front collides with the wall hard enough to slap a sting across my cheek as I’m pressed against it. But not before I grab the gun hidden at the base of my spine and press the barrel against my assailant’s belly. One wrong move and a bullet will rip through his gut and shatter his spine.
“You’re getting quicker,” he grits, his voice more gravelly than the last time we spoke.
“You’re getting sloppier,” I spit back.
The hold against the back of my neck recedes allowing me to turn around and face the scariest demon I’d ever laid eyes. I remember the first time I saw him—bulging muscles, black, dead eyes and face disfigured into a permanently scarred smirk. I thought I was looking at evil incarnate. And once I learned he was the Demon of Murder, I’d always tried to keep a healthy distance from him. However, watching him with my sister completely altered my view of him and made me regret my prejudice. I thought deceiving Phenex would be the worst part about all this, but it was Cain who I was the most regretful about. And judging by the deep frown marring his already daunting face, I know that I’ve lost his trust for good.
“You want to tell me what the fuck you’re doing in New Orleans? And why the fuck you thought you’d get away with stealing from me?”
I secure my weapon then do a quick scan of the bathroom to ensure we’re alone. “Irin sent us. I still don’t know, but Cain…shit is happening. Something terrible is coming.”
“No shit.” He scrubs a hand over his buzzed hair. “Fucking hell, Eden. Not only did you ignore a direct order and run off with fucking Lucifer, but you also committed a crime against the Se7en that’s punishable by death. Do you understand that? You know I can’t let this go.”
A rebuttal is on the tip of my tongue, but I refuse to throw Phenex under the bus. I owe him. And I won’t make him out to be a traitor to his family. He’s had my back more than a few times. I need to have his now.
“I know. I’m sorry. But you have to understand, I wouldn’t have done it unless it was necessary.”
“Necessary to what?”
To save Legion?
To kill Legion?
Either way, he won’t understand. Not unless he has the full truth. And right now, not even I can explain it.
Cain pulls out his phone. “Toyol is securing the building. I need to let the others know our location.”
Before I can stop myself, I smack the phone out of his hand, sending it crashing to the tiled floor. The touchscreen shatters into a million shards.
“What the fuck!”
“I’m sorry,” I stammer. “But they can’t come here. Especially Lilith.”
“And why the fuck not?”
“Because.”
“Because why, Eden? I don’t have time for this shit.”
On cue, as if it were rehearsed, Lucifer strides into the bathroom, his stance impassive, his expression cool. The guise he always wears when dealing with outsiders. I wonder who, other than myself, has seen the real him.
“Because Lilith’s arrival will surely be the beginning of the end.”
Cain scowls at Lucifer, looking him up and down with more contempt than usual. “And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“It means that Lilith is the first of the Four Horsemen. She’s Pestilence. And by bringing her here, you are dooming these people to a plague unlike any other.” Lucifer flicks an invisible speck of dust from his pristine suit jacket. “Now if you’d like to be responsible for the deaths of millions of innocent humans, by all means, be my guest. It’s not like the citizens of New Orleans haven’t been through enough. What’s one more surge of devastation?”
An audible growl rumbles Cain’s chest as he steps forward, nearly nose to nose with Lucifer. Of course, Lucifer is nonplussed and appears more annoyed with Cain’s presence rather than fearful.
“This is all your doing. The Horsemen are your pet project. If Lilith is Pestilence, then whatever blood has been spilled is on your hands.”
Lucifer waves a dismissive hand before gazing down at his cuticles. “Maybe so. But you’re the one who let the big bad wolf out of its cage. Who do you think activated them?”
Cain frowns, taking a step back. His eyes dart from Lucifer to me. “Legion?”
I nod. “We’re not sure if it’s The Many that did it, or him. The Horsemen are the only ones who may be strong enough to defeat him at full strength. We were either activated to unleash Hell on Earth, or to put him down.”
The crease between his brows deepens. “We?”
“Yeah.” I swallow before lifting my chin in faux courage. “I’m Death.”
“Fuck,” Cain spits. Then he turns his hard glare back on Lucifer. “And you knew about this?”
Lucifer shrugs nonchalantly. “Well, it’s not like I had any control of who the Horsemen would be. I’m powerful, but not powerful enough to rewrite history. Lilith, Eden, and the rest of the Horsemen are the first of their kind. You don’t alter the balance of nature without consequences. This curse chose them, not me.”
Cain begins to pace, his jaw ticking furiously. “Who else knows about this?”
“The Dark King and prince,” Lucifer answers. “Their queen has been captured by who I suspect is Stavros, their father and accomplice of Uriel.”
“She’s War,” I tack on. “And we have to find her. Bitch me out all you want later, but right now, we need your help.” I step forward, my palms open, hoping to reason with him despite my transgressions. “Please, Cain. I know you don’t trust me.”
“You’re damn right I don’t trust you.”
“But Gabriella…she’s good. Kind, loyal. She reminds me a lot of my sister, and one day, I hope that the two of them will be able to meet. She’s also pregnant. And if anything happens to her or her baby, I’ll never be able to forgive myself. If there’s anything—anything—I can do to start to earn your confidence, I’ll do it. Just don’t let this woman and her unborn child die because I fucked up.”
Cain stills his pacing to stare at me, that jaw working overtime. He finally huffs out a sigh. “Where was she last seen?”
“A mansion here in the city. It seems abandoned, but it’s spelled with horrible magic. Even the Dark couldn’t detect it.”
“Give me The Redeemer.” When I hesitate, he adds, “If you want our help, you will give it back. Or I’ll take it back.”
I nod, then reluctantly reach into my coat and unsheathe the dagger. I wasn’t stupid enough to expect him to let me keep it, but it still sucks all the same that I can’t remain true to Phenex. Although the thought of sinking it into Legion’s chest is something that I can’t even fathom, no matter how hard I try to convince myself that I’m strong enough to do it.
“Again, I’m sorry,” I say, placing it into Cain’s hand. “I didn’t mean to betray you, and when I took it…” Flashback to Phenex’s pained face, his tears, the anguish in his voice. “I thought I was doing the right thing…for all of us.”
He purses his lips and snorts, eyes narrowed. “It wasn’t yours to take. You may have been fucking Legion, but you’re not one of us. You have no business having it in your possession.”
That stings, but I simply nod, biting down on a retort. Because I know he’s right—I’m not one of them. They may have opened their home to me at one time, but they always saw me as an obligation—a burden. And yeah, it hurts, but I can’t expect them to accept me when their sole reason for locating me was to do what they do best—to kill. I was a mission that turned into an extended houseguest. And to Cain, I was always unwelcome.
“Now,” Cain begins, securing the blade within the inside pocket of his jacket, much like the one that was designed for me. “Tell me about this mansion.”
We reenter the main dining area of the small restaurant and find that it’s empty, aside from Toyol. I resist the urge to embrace him, which is a feat when he greets me with a warm, lopsided smile.
“Hey, sticky fingers. I’ve missed you.”
“Hey yourself,” I reply, trying to keep the relief out of my voice. I was afraid of how the others would treat me after I committed such an unforgivable sin.
“You know, I should totally make you my understudy. You’re a sneaky little thing.”
I give him a tight smile in response, remembering Cain’s words: I’m not one of them.
“Secure?” Cain asks over my head.
Toyol nods once. “Affirmative. The staff have all taken the evening off. The perimeter is secure.”
The four of us take a seat at an empty table, and I briefly wonder what Toyol means by his comment about the restaurant workers. I don’t want to think that they’d be capable of hurting innocent people so casually, but they are demon assassins. And desperate times call for desperate measures.
“Tell us,” Cain demands, once we’ve settled. “Tell us everything.”
Over the next half hour, I go over everything that went down since we came to New Orleans, omitting the part about Lucifer and I sleeping together. It’s not because I don’t fully remember. It’s because I do remember, and a large part of me wishes that I didn’t. A large part of me wishes those hours of unparalleled bliss and passion were still shrouded in blackness so they weren’t constantly haunting me to the point of madness. What happened between us…I can’t describe. It was as if our two souls had been lost in the dark for a thousand years, desperately searching for the other, and we had finally found each other. I’d never felt a connection so deep, so intimate, with anyone, not even Legion. It was as if I had been a rotting corpse my entire life, and his touch, his kiss, his cock, brought me back to life.
And then I woke up.
And under the clarity of morning, I realized that I’m still dead inside. And being with him was all a cruel dream.
How do I forget that? How do I carry on like it didn’t matter? Like he wasn’t such a fiercely attentive, tender lover who treated me like no other female in this universe existed when he looked at me? I could I tell myself that he’s like that with everyone—a seasoned bullshitter who will say and do whatever it takes to get what he wants. But then I remember that night when I saw him with Kairo and their female companion. He looked…lost. Almost sad. Like he couldn’t feel anything at all, the pleasures of his body were merely an involuntary reaction.
I wonder if Kairo stroked his hair after they had sex. If he felt safe with him and allowed himself to fall asleep on his stomach. I know the answer, yet still, I want to tell myself that he did. I want to believe it. Then maybe I could convince myself that what we had meant nothing to him. That I meant nothing to him.
That he means nothing to me.
“I’ll set up heat sensors around and inside the home,” Toyol says, breaking me out of my inner torment.
“It won’t matter,” Lucifer pipes up beside me, shaking his head. “We have reason to believe that Legion is being powered by the death of a Seraph—Raphael. And Stavros may be leeching off that power to strengthen his own magic.”
“The Redeemer would have absorbed Raphael’s life force,” Cain counters.
“It didn’t. I checked.” Lucifer waves a palm in the demon’s direction. “See for yourself.”
Cain shoots Toyol a look, then does a quick scan of the restaurant to ensure we’re truly alone. Then he pulls out the blade and gingerly sets it on the table. We watch quietly, not even a breath stirring between us, as Cain lets a hand hover over the blade. His face is pinched in concentration, like Lucifer’s was, as he mentally searches for Raphael’s soul.
“Shit,” he spits, pulling his hand away to break whatever connection he’d made with the dagger. “I can’t find him.”
“Lucifer said that there could be some kind of siphoning spell on it. That could be the reason why Jinn didn’t die instantly. Maybe there’s a way we can reverse it and save him,” I suggest, trying to look on the bright side of an otherwise shitty situation.
But optimism is for fools. I should have learned that a long time ago.
Toyol and Cain look at each other, both of their expressions grim. I swear I see Toyol’s slanted eyes glaze with tears before he turns away.
“Jinn is dead,” Cain croaks, his voice raw. “He’s gone.”
“What?” The word is nothing but a broken whisper.
Cain nods once. “We got word from Phenex last night and we rushed back to Chicago. He perished within minutes after our arrival. Lilith and Andras are still at Irin’s…mourning. Phenex is…” He swallows thickly. “We all knew it was coming, but he’s taking it the hardest.”
“But…but…” I stammer, trying to conceal my grief and failing miserably. “I thought the transfusions were working. And Adriel…I thought she could help.”
He shakes his head. “It was, at least enough to keep him alive. But then last night, something weakened her, and he took a turn for the worst. He couldn’t recover, and there was nothing any of us could do.”
Last night.
It was just last night that Lucifer had detected Jinn’s life force within The Redeemer. He confirmed he was dying, but I thought he had more time. Then…
The mansion.
I used my holy light to break the spell that had captured us. A blast so great that it cut through Stavros’s angel-tainted magic. Even the Dark Queen, the most powerful warlock in existence, and the Devil couldn’t break it, yet I could. Me, a half Seraph abomination.
I must have drawn from Adriel’s strength. And in doing that, I must have inadvertently killed Jinn.
I touch my shaky fingers to my parted lips to conceal a sob. “I’m so sorry. I…I didn’t know.”
“How could you? You ditched your comm. We’d been trying to contact you for days, only to find that all the tech Toyol had given you was still at Irin’s. I knew we should have put a tracking device in that thing,” he says, pointing to the leather jacket I’m wearing. “But the others insisted that we could trust you. Yet, here you are, a liar and a thief. I had to interrogate the human pilot and flight attendant from the jet that brought you here and jeopardize our alliance with Irin. And then to find you’re here with him?” he sneers, jutting his chin out towards Lucifer.
As arrogant as ever, Lucifer merely shrugs. “She could do worse.”
“I doubt that,” Cain grumbles. “I should have known you’d take her to The Saint, one of the only places on Earth that demons can’t enter. That’s some serious self-hatred.”
“Self-hatred? Have you seen yourself lately? You’re a fucking horror show, Demon of Murder. Why don’t you tell Eden how you got that scar?”
Ignoring the bickering, Toyol busies himself with his smartphone. He’s modified it to where he can hack into any surveillance system in the city, including the NOLA PD. However, I’m tempted to hear more about Cain and what could have possibly mutilated his face from lip to ear. But before I can ask him, there’s a jarring crash against the outside restaurant window that faces the street. Within a half a second, we’re all on our feet, weapons drawn and crouched in defensive stances. But there is no threat, at least not to us. Just every other innocent life in New Orleans.
Blood and spittle is smeared on the dingy glass, and a man desperately cries for help. His pleading eyes are bright red and he’s bleeding from his ears. He bangs on the glass again, begging for someone to let him in, crying out for God to save him from his affliction, before he collapses onto the sidewalk. We watch in horror for what seems like hours, none of us sure of what to do. When I finally snap out of my terror-stricken trance and step forward, Lucifer stops me.
“It’s already too late,” he says somberly.
“What? That man needs help! Toyol, call 911!”
But even he knows what Lucifer says is true and doesn’t make a move. And judging by Cain’s stony expression, for once, he agrees with Lucifer.
It’s too late.
We’re already too late.
“It’s happening, isn’t it?” I whisper, anguish echoing in my tone. “She’s here.”
“Who?” Toyol questions.
We hadn’t gotten to this part yet. We hadn’t told him the whole story.
I turn to him, my wide eyes glazed with fear.
“Pestilence. She’s here.”