Isabelle

“It’s okay, Izzy.” Yet the sigh Slater let out, even as he pulled me into his arms, told me that he was still hurting from losing his father.

My heart broke for him. I had no idea that he’d been through so much. Yet knowing that he’d been through something so similar to what I was now experiencing only made me feel closer to him, despite the short amount of time I’d known him. I swiped at my tears and slowly sat up out of his embrace just enough to look at him, the air between us sparking with energy.

He was so close…and it’d be so easy to lose myself in him and forget all my problems.

But then he was pulling away, the spell broken as I was left feeling disappointed and even more distraught. What the hell had I been thinking anyway? I was in my mother’s hospital room, for fuck’s sake. And it’s not as if he was interested in me anyway.

Then the unthinkable happened.

My mother’s monitors went crazy, her heartbeat erratic as her blood pressure dropped. I stood there, helpless, even as a team of doctors and nurses rushed in. Slater pulled me aside, holding me to him, cradling my head against his chest as my eyes squeezed shut against the river of tears. Because I knew that she was gone…just as the flat, monotonous tone of my mother’s heart rate on the monitor signaled her death.

They tried to shock her heart back to life. Tried it again and again. Yet the tone ringing through the room persisted until someone eventually turned off the monitor and the doctor finally approached me.

I knew my mother’s doctor was speaking to me…knew that he was telling me that my mother was gone. He said something about her likely suffering from a blood clot that traveled to her brain, a result of her extensive injuries. Yet the words barely penetrated the fog of my grief as I lost the only family I had left.

I wept in Slater’s arms, grateful that he was there for me when I had no one else. At some point, he steered me into a car and took me home, though it was all a blur. I knew there was so much to do, to plan, but I couldn’t string together a coherent thought beyond the fact that my mother was dead.

She was dead, and I was alone.

* * *

I spent the next few weeks burying my mother and dealing with her lawyers to settle her estate. It had all left me emotionally drained and spent, my body hollow and my soul broken. Not that the police had figured out who was behind my mother’s murder. Whatever leads they’d had, had run cold, which meant that I still had Blackthorn Security watching my every move—for which I was grateful.

Through it all, Slater and Colton had been by my side, not just guarding me and keeping me safe, but doing their best to keep me sane when all I wanted to do was crawl under my blankets and never come out again.

“I think you need to have a little bit of fun. Or at the very least, you need to get out of the house—even if you just head to the lab. Or…maybe I could take you for a ride along the coast? There are some gorgeous little towns, and the views are breathtaking.” Slater took my hands and pulled me up off the sofa. “You’ve been dealing with a lot, but you need to remember that you still have a life to live.”

He may be right, but it was still too soon, my guilt too heavy to bear. I had been in my mother’s hospital room, sitting there in his arms, hoping he’d kiss me, while my mother’s life had been slipping away. How the hell was I supposed to live with myself? Yet Slater…he’d been my rock these last few weeks.

Having dealt with my father’s death, I knew that I had to muster the courage to get my life back to normal, so I could start living again. It was the only way to beat back the depression and sadness that had gripped my heart, even if it meant taking baby steps, one at a time. And Slater was right…getting out of the house was the first step.

“I can’t focus long enough to actually make any sense of my work, so heading to the lab is pointless. But if you want to head out for a bit, I wouldn’t mind. I know it’d do me some good.” And just maybe I could steal another minute or two alone with him, away from the gloom that was lingering around my home.

Not that I was hoping Slater would kiss me this time around. I knew that he was way out of my league, and any fantasies I might be harboring were just that—fantasies. Fantasies fueled by a lifetime of loneliness and romance novels, now amplified by my grief and the fact that I had no one else in my life.

“You know…I think I’ve got just the place to cheer you up.” Slater smiled at me, his blue eyes alight and his dark hair scruffy, sending my thoughts back into my fantasy. He’d think me so foolish if he ever found out. But before I could say anything, he turned his attention to Colton. “We’ll only be a few hours, though if that changes, I’ll be sure to let you know.”

“I’ll be right here.” Colton gave Slater a look that spoke volumes, though I’d be damned if I knew what he was trying to say. “If you need anything at all, just call.”

I’d expected Slater to call the car around, but instead he grabbed my hand and led me to his SUV. He opened the door and gave me a hand climbing in, before going around and hopping into the driver’s seat. “I figure it might be easier to go unnoticed in my car.”

I buckled myself in, with a silly realization.

“Is it insane that it’s been ages since I sat in the front of a vehicle? We’ve had drivers my whole life—even though my father liked to drive around in his Aston. But Mother would have a fit if he tried to take me along, so it was a rare occurrence, and then once he died…” I let out a ragged breath, my heart still heavy. “I miss having him around—even more so now that my mother’s gone.”

He reached over and gave my hand a squeeze before taking off down the road, his gaze constantly checking his rearview mirror, as if wanting to make sure we weren’t being followed. “It makes sense, love.”

Having him call me “love” warmed my heart, even though I knew it was just a casual endearment for him and nothing more. But at the moment, I was feeling so down and lonely, that it’d be easy to get attached to anyone who showed me a bit of attention and kindness, when the reality was that Slater was paid to be by my side, and I had no doubt he’d be nothing but a casual acquaintance once I no longer needed a bodyguard.

The thought of not having Slater in my life left my heart aching with a pang.

I may end up making a fool of myself, but my father had always told me that I needed to take chances in life, and live my life to the fullest.

Yet I hadn’t.

I’d been timid and shy, and I’d done whatever my mother wanted, not wanting to upset her.

But she was gone now—and it was a lesson I should learn from.

Life was short, and since we may not get a tomorrow, we might as well make the most of today.