Chapter Eighteen
Ryan maneuvered through the crowded cafeteria, marveling how it had been transformed into its annual winter wonderland with poinsettias, garland, and a beautifully decorated Christmas tree.
He knew it wasn’t easy to give the modern deco room a cozy Christmas vibe, and he suspected Sarah had worked on it all morning.
He’d wanted to drop in and offer his help, but had thought better of it, especially if she was still mad from their encounter in the elevator. It was better that they didn’t see each other until he made it all up to her.
A quick scan of the room showed Sarah wasn’t in it. That didn’t surprise him. When she planned company events, it often entailed her being behind the scenes in the kitchen, working with the caterers or doing some last-minute preparations in her office, such as helping Logan with his remarks. She’d be here.
His gaze dropped to the small white box he had in his hands. Its bright-red bow had been tied perfectly thanks to his sister’s help. In no time, the box would be opened and would execute his plan to reveal to his Secret Santa everything he felt.
Today, he’d give her his heart.
He could no longer deny how he felt, and he couldn’t let the fear that she’d leave one day destroy what they could potentially have.
That was if she wanted his heart. Hell, she could still want Logan.
It was a risk he was finally ready to take.
As he walked over to the table at the front of the room to set down his gift alongside the others, Mary Beth stepped in his path wearing a tight silver sequined top, bright-red lipstick, and a huge smile. Someone was feeling festive.
“Is that for me?” she asked, pointing to the box.
“Um…” He wasn’t supposed to reveal his Secret Santa until the ceremony, but judging by the way she cocked her head at him while raising a suggestive eyebrow, he might be better off setting the record straight. “Not this time.”
She snapped her fingers. “Darn. Maybe I’ll get lucky next year—or sooner.” She ran her fingers through her long brown hair. “I could fill you in on the things I really want for Christmas.”
Ryan smirked and continued to move toward the front, knowing what that flirting was all about. Mary Beth probably still believed that Logan and Sarah had been fooling around in the storage room. His gut churned at the thought.
Yep. He was still pissed at his buddy for whatever it was that he’d interrupted.
Crossing the room, he made his way to the Secret Santa table, smiling and exchanging cheery hellos with his coworkers. Once there, he stepped onto the short stage where the table had been set up and took a deep, long breath.
This is it.
There was no turning back once he’ set the box down.
He ran his finger over the deep-red name tag where he’d written Sarah’s name using one of Bridget’s glittery silver pens. He was ready for the woman he loved to finally know it.
Placing the box down along with the other brightly wrapped gifts, he walked over to the bar, asked for a beer, and then made his way to an empty chair against the wall to wait.
In less than an hour, the Secret Santa gift exchange would start. In less than an hour, Sarah would know how he felt.
How would she react?
That was the million-dollar question, but seeing how close Sarah had been to kissing Logan in that storage room, he needed to make a move. And after meeting Hank and Sylvie, he knew that move meant laying it all out there.
He was 100 percent certain he was in love with Sarah, and he knew exactly when it had happened.
It was the first day they’d met. It had been love at first sight.
After saying good-bye to the old couple, he’d raced uptown to Dylan’s Candy Bar with one purchase in mind. The store manager had greeted him with a huge smile and scooped up a bag of malt balls.
He’d played out in his mind what he hoped would happen. Sarah would open the box and laugh at the malt balls, knowing immediately who the gift was from. He’d walk up to her and ask if they could go to his office for a moment alone where he’d put his heart on the line.
If she didn’t feel they could be more than friends, he’d understand. He wouldn’t like it, but he’d have to accept it.
He caught sight of Logan walking toward him. Accepting only being friends with Sarah would be one thing, but seeing her with Logan if she did get together with his best friend would be an entirely different matter.
He’d like to think he’d be mature enough to handle it, but the thought of the two cozying up in the cafeteria or waiting hand in hand for the elevator at the end of the day made his chest hurt.
Okay, maybe he’d have to resign. He’d look for a civil engineer job with another architecture firm elsewhere, because to see the two together day after day might kill him.
“Hey.” Logan sat down in the empty chair next to Ryan, cocktail in hand and looking all kinds of Christmassy in his bright-red sweater and green slacks.
“Nice outfit, Kris Kringle.”
“What?” Logan patted his sweater. “You don’t like it?”
“I’m not sure green is your color and definitely not for pants.” Ryan did know someone who looked amazing in green—Sarah in the sexy emerald dress she’d worn to the gala. He snuck a glance at the empty doorway. Where was she?
Logan leaned back in his chair, sipping his cocktail. “I never get tired of these parties.” He nodded to Paul, Nancy, and Hillary doing shots at the bar with Mary Beth. “Those three will show Mary Beth the ropes.”
“They’re going to sport quite the headaches in the morning.” Ryan chuckled and turned to his buddy. “Say, where are you keeping your assistant?”
“She’s not here?” Logan asked and looked around the room.
“Haven’t seen her.”
Logan cocked an eyebrow. “Maybe she’s been mixing guacamole with holiday drinks and tossing her chips in the bathroom. If that’s the case, you could do the noble thing and take her home again.”
Ryan stared at Logan. Years of friendship had taught him to realize when Logan was revealing he knew more to a story than he should. “You know that’s not what happened, don’t you?”
Logan’s wicked grin said it all. “Well, while I don’t want to envision my best friend getting it on with my date, whatever’s going on between you two is hard to ignore.” He shook his head. “I’m surprised I never saw it before. Why didn’t you tell me when I flat-out asked if you were interested in Sarah?”
Ryan looked away. He was tired of not addressing the big white elephant in the room wearing the giant love triangle around its neck. “Because she’s interested in you.”
“But I would have stepped out of your way, bro.”
“Yeah, but even if she and I got together, what if she pulled a Melanie and decided she was interested in you again?”
“Melanie wanted me?” Logan chuckled. “Damn,” he joked. “I shouldn’t have encouraged her to ask the smart-ass quarterback out all those years ago.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I do,” Logan said, but then waved off that statement as if it was insignificant. “She’s not interested in me…not really. Maybe she had a crush, but you should have seen her bolt out of the storage room after you yesterday. That woman was on a mission.”
Ryan studied his friend. Yeah, Logan could say that Sarah had only had a crush, but Ryan had seen what he’d seen. “What were you doing in there with the door shut?”
“Helping her with the ornaments,” Logan said innocently.
“Yeah, right. Care to explain why your face was so close to hers?
“Okay, maybe I was trying to help you two a little.”
“By kissing her?” Ryan leaned back in his chair, mimicking Logan. This explanation ought to be good.
“It was obvious yesterday morning in my office that something had happened between you two by the way you were looking at each other, not to mention the way she hightailed it out of the building the second you mentioned you’d be back in time for lunch.”
“You’re a perceptive one. I’ll give you that,” Ryan said flatly.
“I figured you probably enjoyed…” He brought up his fingers in air quotes. “…taking care of her Friday night. Am I right?”
“Yeah.” Ryan nodded, not bothering to pretend he had no idea what his friend was talking about. “It was pretty fantastic.”
“I assumed as much, and you both didn’t know how to handle whatever went on between you two, since she was supposed to be on a date with me. I was only trying to help you both…” He paused. “…handle it.”
“Again, by kissing her?” Ryan asked, giving Logan the side-eye.
“By showing her it wasn’t me she wanted. I doubt she would have gone through with the kiss, but if she had, well, I was prepared to throw the company’s policy on office romances in her face. A supervisor and a subordinate entering any type of relationship is an office no-no.”
“Real altruistic of you.” Ryan snorted. “And that policy doesn’t exist.”
Logan smiled. “Irrelevant. The point is, she went chasing after you. Judging by the way she appears to have gone AWOL, I take it whatever happened didn’t go well.”
“Something like that.”
“You have it pretty bad for her, huh?”
Ryan blinked. “I think I love her.”
Logan gave him a smart-aleck grin. “About time you admitted it. You know I think she’s amazing, and you two would be good together. Stop wasting time sitting here with me and go get your girl.”
Ryan shook his head. “It’s not her plan for the two of us to be together.”
A smack to his shoulder indicated Logan wasn’t buying it. “Buddy, it’s time to put another plan in motion. Make your move.”
Ryan let that last sentence marinate. It wasn’t as much about his plan, but showing Sarah that her plan wasn’t the only one. Logan was right. He needed to make a move—a big one. Giving her a bag of malt balls and leading her back to his office to tell her there that he loved her was sweet, but was it really going to show her he wanted a future with her and was ready to take that leap?
An idea popped into his head. He jumped out of his seat. “Stay right here.” He rushed over to the Secret Santa table, reached for his gift for Sarah, and brought it back to Logan. “Take this.”
“You were my Secret Santa? It better be something good.” Logan took the gift and shook it. “I would have expected something bigger coming from you.”
“It’s not for you, dumb-ass. I need you to give it to Sarah. I’m her Secret Santa.”
“Oh hell no.” Logan stood and handed back the box, shaking his head. “Did you not hear anything I said? Sarah wants you.”
“Maybe…” Ryan glanced down at his watch. The exchange was to happen in a half hour. Did he have enough time to execute a perfect Hail Mary?
He sure as hell was going to try.
“Go find Sarah and give her the gift. When you do, take her to the conference room to open it, but give me fifteen minutes. I need to drop something off in there first.” He looked over and his gaze landed on Paul, Nancy, and Hillary showing Mary Beth how to do the Electric Slide. “But first I need to enlist a couple elves to help me.” He turned and headed for the dance floor.
“Where are you going?” Logan called out.
For once, Ryan knew exactly what he was doing when it came to Sarah, and what he could do to show her how much he wanted her. He spun around, grinning. “To win over the girl.”
…
Sarah closed her eyes and massaged her forehead, trying to come up with a way to get out of going into the cafeteria for the Secret Santa exchange. When Logan had left to join the party, she’d retreated to his office, yanked off her red heels, and flopped into his black faux-leather chair—the same chair she’d curled up in last year, where apparently both Ryan and Logan had discovered her.
Her gaze went over to the red throw now draped over Logan’s couch.
But only one man had been thoughtful enough to cover her up. For months, she’d thought Logan had been the one. That sweet move had even been the catalyst for her thinking maybe there was something special about him worth exploring.
But it wasn’t him who’d covered her.
She groaned. Of course it’d been Ryan. That was the thoughtful guy he was—that he’d always been.
He was the type of guy who took his sister in and helped her get her life back. He was also the type of guy who sent her a text late at night to make sure she was okay.
He was the type of guy who protected his best friend from bullying as a kid and accepted an award on his behalf with genuine sincerity.
He was the type of guy who agreed to help his pathetic coworker with her stupid plan.
She laughed bitterly. He was perfect, and she’d fallen for him. How could I have been so blind not to realize what’s been in front of my face all these months?
Because this entire year she’d walked around with tunnel vision. All she’d been able to think about—all she’d focused on—had been how to make Logan fall in love with her.
All that had changed the night on the football field, and her feelings for Ryan had only grown stronger the night they’d made love.
She wanted Ryan asking her on a date, Ryan finding an excuse to meet her in the storage room, Ryan’s lips mere inches from hers—not Logan’s.
But that revelation was a day too late.
I deserve to be alone. She shook her head and glanced over at the desk clock next to Logan’s phone. It was almost time for the Secret Santa exchange.
Pretty soon they’d be opening gifts. Mary Beth had already been given eleven out of her twelve presents throughout the day. What would she think of the Cocoa Puffs? Was Logan planning to take the accountant home with him tonight?
Probably, now that Sarah had brushed off his advances, but that was okay. More than okay. Logan wasn’t the guy for her.
She stood and pushed her feet back into her high heels. Like it or not, she needed to stop being a chicken and join the party. She was Paul’s Secret Santa, and she’d bought him slippers that he’d be able to warm up in his microwave, because he’d mentioned that his sister had gotten him a pair that he’d ruined in the washer.
Ryan would surely be in the cafeteria by now. Would he talk to her as if their blowup in the elevator had never occurred or avoid her like the plague? She couldn’t decide which would be worse: him still being pissed off and giving her a cold shoulder or approaching her all smiles like yesterday had never happened.
Not liking either scenario, she decided that once she got there, she’d hang in the doorway doing her best not to make eye contact with him. Then, she’d fake a migraine and hightail it out of there the first chance she got.
Mustering up all her courage, she exited Logan’s office and ran smack into her boss holding a white box with a big red bow.
“Sarah, I thought I’d find you here.”
“I was just…um…” She stepped back. “Looking for some tape.”
He set the present down on the side of her desk and reached down for the dispenser next to her computer, handing it over. “Is this what you were looking for?” He smirked.
“Yeah. Thanks,” she said wryly, taking the tape. Her gaze rested on the gift. She’d personally put the Cocoa Puffs in a festive gift bag and dropped it off to the table earlier. “Did you want to give Mary Beth another present?”
“No.” He picked it up off the desk and gave it to her. “It’s for you.”
Sarah took the box, her mouth opening, but nothing came out. For the last two years, Logan had given her a company Christmas card with a cash bonus. “Thank you,” she said, unsure if she wanted it, particularly if it was something more intimate.
“It’s from your Secret Santa.”
“Oh.” She stared down at the name tag that did in fact have her name on it. “Why are you giving my present to me now? Shouldn’t I open it in the cafeteria along with the others?”
“Actually, I was given instructions to escort you to the conference room.”
She arched an eyebrow. “Why?”
“I don’t know.” Logan stepped toward her and offered her his arm. “Shall we go find out?”
Sarah cocked her head. Maybe Mary Beth wasn’t the only one whose Secret Santa wanted to keep her on her toes. Intrigued, she took his arm. “Okay. I guess you’re in charge.”
Logan led her past the cafeteria. They could see Mary Beth on stage, starting to pull the tissue paper from her gift bag.
“Hold on.” Logan stopped and stepped back into the doorway. “I don’t want to miss this.”
Sarah peeked in, scanning the room for Ryan. With everyone now gathered for the Secret Santa exchange, it was hard to tell if he was in there. She stood on her toes but couldn’t see him.
Maybe not being able to spot him was a good thing. After the fight they’d had in the elevator, it was probably best if she gave him his space. Give it a couple days so he could cool off, and they could go back to having lunch like they always did.
She smiled at that thought. They’d get pizza slices from around the corner, and he’d bring in a chocolate cake of his sister’s for them to split. They’d talk about how their week was going, and she’d ask him about his date with Corrine.
Her head dropped, and she focused on her shoes. She didn’t want to ask him how his date had gone—she didn’t want to know.
“Cocoa Puffs!”
Sarah glanced back up to see Mary Beth now on the stage.
“I hate this cereal.” Mary Beth slurred her words and shoved the cereal back in the gift bag, tossing it at a young intern named Bryce who Sarah had earlier assigned to distribute the gifts.
Sarah stifled a laugh. Someone was a bit tipsy. She hoped the intern wasn’t traumatized.
“Okay, confess.” Mary Beth wagged her finger at the crowd. “Who is my Secret Santa, because so far you’ve given me perfume that I’m allergic to and gluten foods I can’t eat.”
Connor, the Vice President of Finance, reached for Mary Beth’s arm. “Let’s get you some coffee, shall we? Carry on, everyone.”
Logan shook his head and stepped out of the doorway, motioning for Sarah to do the same. “Did you know about her allergies and gluten intolerance?”
“No.” She followed, feeling slightly bad for the disaster that had just taken place.
“I’m glad I didn’t cause her an allergic reaction or anything that would involve an ambulance visit. I guess my twelve days of gifts was a bad idea.”
Sarah glanced up at her boss, her heart full of empathy. “Maybe she wasn’t the right one for the gifts?”
“Probably not. I kind of got the impression that we wouldn’t have a lot in common. I guess there’s always next year.” He looked down at her and winked. “Do you think Vanessa’s into me?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
He chuckled. “A mystery to solve in the new year.” He held out his arm again. “But I’ve got more important things to do right now. Let’s get you to where you need to be.”
Where she needed to be? Why did she need to be in the conference room?
They stepped inside, and Logan escorted her to the front row just as his phone buzzed. “Take a seat right there in that one.” He pointed to the second chair to the left in the front row. “I’ll be right with you.” Reaching into his pocket, he held out his phone, staring down at the tiny screen.
Sarah took a seat, placing her gift on her lap. Was she going to open it here? Why the conference room?
“Okay, that makes sense.” Logan grinned down at his phone.
“What makes sense?” she asked.
“Why we’re here.”
“Was that my Secret Santa who texted you?”
“Has anyone ever told you that you ask a lot of questions?”
Yep. Ryan. “Sorry. It’s a habit,” she said, bitterly. Apparently a bad one that had thoroughly ticked Ryan off yesterday when she’d fired an arsenal of questions at him. If only she could take that moment back. If only she hadn’t followed him into the elevator.
Logan stepped closer until he was standing in front of her. “Picture the first meeting you had in this room.”
She raised an eyebrow. “My first staff meeting?”
“Yeah, what were you feeling?”
“What was I feeling?” Sarah studied her boss. What was he getting at? She glanced down at her gift. Couldn’t she just open it? “Um… It was two years ago. I’d worn my best suit that day because you’d asked me to give a short presentation on the company retreat you’d planned for January at Foxwoods Casino in Connecticut. I was so incredibly nervous. I’d never given a presentation before…” She paused. “I mean I did in college, but never in a professional setting, and certainly not wearing a suit.”
“How did you feel?”
She thought back to that god-awful moment. She’d only been on the job a week and didn’t really know anyone. She’d worked tirelessly on the three slides Logan had asked her to prepare and practiced in her bedroom mirror for five days straight.
As the staff had filed in, her heart had raced so fast, she’d been surprised it hadn’t broken out of her chest. “I was petrified.”
“And then what happened?”
She stared up at him, not quite sure what answer he was looking for. “I did the presentation.”
He shook his head. “Before that.”
Sarah thought back to that moment. “Ryan came over and sat down next to me. Right here.” She patted the empty seat beside her. “He could tell I was terrified, I guess. He offered me a malt ball, saying it would calm my nerves.” She sighed. “It did. I feel like he looked after me that day, and I’m starting to realize he’s never stopped.” She glanced up at her boss. “Do you know why he’s always doing that?”
Logan gave her a warm smile. “Yes, and I think you do, too. Merry Christmas, Sarah. Open your gift.”
A rush of excitement ran through her. Was Ryan her Secret Santa? Was this from him?
Logan reached out and squeezed her shoulder. “While you do that, I’ve got a perfectly good box of Cocoa Puffs that I need to retrieve so that I can have breakfast tomorrow. I’ll see you at Rockefeller Center.”
“See you.” She turned in her seat and watched as her boss left the room. Once alone, she untied the bow and opened the lid. A laugh escaped her lips as she pulled out a bag of malt balls. “Boy, do I need you these days.” She chuckled and began to tear open the bag.
“Stop. Don’t do that.”
She spun around, surprised to see the recipient of her Secret Santa gift strolling toward her. Paul walked down the aisle, sporting the cozy tan slippers she’d given him. “Merry Christmas, Sarah.”
“Merry Christmas, Paul,” she said back. “I see you’ve opened your present.”
He met her at the front of the room. “Thank you so much for these. I had to put them on immediately.”
She smiled. “Don’t wear them on your commute home tonight, okay?”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
He held out a familiar white business card box.
“Is this for me?”
He squinted his eyes as if trying to think. “Yes, but there’s something I’m supposed to do.” He snapped his fingers. “I need to take your gift in exchange.”
“You need my candy?”
“Yes.” He stood in place.
“For the business card box?”
“Yes. One bag of candy for one box.” He waved it in the air.
“Okay, here you go,” she said more than a bit curious what her Secret Santa was up to. She put the candy back in her box and handed it to him.
“Thank you.”
“Can I open it now?” she asked. Who knew if there were any more instructions that she needed to follow?
Paul nodded. “You can now open it.”
“All righty.” She lifted the top, peering in. “What the…” She pulled out a single malt ball and held it up in the air feeling slightly gypped that she’d traded in her entire bag for one measly ball. “Do you know where my Secret Santa is?”
Paul shook his head. “But I do know where you’re supposed to go now. Right this way.”
Sarah followed Paul out of the conference room and down the hall. As they passed by Ryan’s office, she peeked in, her heart full of hope that Paul was dropping her off here.
Empty.
Where are you, Ryan?
Moving through the NPH Designs lobby, Paul stopped in front of Nancy’s desk.
“I was wondering when you’d bring her by.” Nancy sprung out of her seat, Sarah’s ivory wool coat and red hat in hand.
“Where am I going?” Sarah asked as Nancy came over to the other side of her desk and held the coat out for Sarah to put it on.
“On a little adventure.” She leaned across her desk, picking up a box and handing it to Sarah along with her hat.
“Another business card box.” Sarah took it, shaking it. Another malt ball. Opening it, she pulled the malt ball out, but this time there was a slip of paper included.
Sarah, sometimes the best-laid plans change. Bring the two malt balls and come to the corner of 24th Street and 7th Avenue. -Your Secret Santa
P.S. Don’t eat either of the malt balls. I know you’re asking why, and probably a series of other questions. Trust me.
She grinned, glancing down at the two malt balls in her hand.
Nancy went behind her desk and handed Sarah a tissue and then gave her a second. “You might need these for later.”
Sarah’s eyebrows furrowed. “For what?”
The old receptionist gave her an innocent smile. “So you don’t get chocolate on your hands, of course.”
“Of course. Thank you.” Sarah shoved the tissue in her coat pocket as Paul pushed the elevator button.
Stepping all the way in, she took a deep breath and stared down at the two candy balls.
What are you up to, Ryan?