Chapter Seventeen
“I’m sorry.” Sarah stepped back and handed Logan the rest of the lights. “I just remembered…um…I need to make sure Paul brings his Secret Santa gift in tomorrow before he leaves today, or Vanessa in marketing will be disappointed.” Flustered, she reached up and fixed her ponytail. “Can you bring the ornaments into the cafeteria?”
“Sure.” Logan moved his arm through the now perfectly coiled lights, resting them on his shoulder. “Happy to help. Go do what you need to do.”
“Thank you.” She studied his face for a quick second. Was that amusement in her boss’s eyes? She’d dissect that later, right now she needed to catch up to Ryan.
She dashed out of the storage room, flying in the direction of Ryan’s office. Rounding the corner, she caught sight of him standing at the elevator, toner cartridge in hand.
“Hey,” she called out and beelined for him. “The company frowns on that kind of thing.”
He whipped around, looking thoroughly pissed off. “On what?”
Flashing a sweet smile, she pointed to the cartridge. “Stealing office supplies.”
“I’ll take my chances.” He pressed the already lit down arrow three times. “Damn slow elevator.”
Why was he so mad? What did he think he was interrupting back there in the storage room?
Okay, yeah, Logan’s lips had been inches from hers when the door swung open. But why did Ryan care? “Where are you going in such a hurry?”
He turned to her. “I have a date.”
Her heart stopped at that news. “With Corrine?”
“Yeah. We’re meeting for drinks. I’m late.”
“It’s not even four. Is it even happy hour yet?”
“It is at this place.”
She cocked her head. “Is the bar close by?”
“Sarah, what’s with all the questions?” he asked, his tone noticeably edgier.
“No reason.” She shrugged, pretending she couldn’t care less that he was going on another date with Corrine. “Don’t you want to take your jacket?”
“I don’t need it.” The elevator doors opened, and he stepped in.
“It’s twenty degrees outside.” She followed him in, punched the button for the first floor, and leaned against the back railing.
He glanced over. “Where are you going without your coat?”
“To get a soda,” she said smugly.
“The vending machine in the cafeteria not working?”
“I want a fountain one from the first-floor mini-mart.” She placed her hands on her hips. “So…are you going to tell me why you flew out of the storage room in a huff?”
“I told you. I have a date.”
“Right. A date you’re so anxious to get to you’ve forgotten your coat, which probably holds your keys and wallet. What? Are you planning to pay for her drink with a toner cartridge?”
He turned away without responding, his back to her.
Oh, crap. She’d really done it this time.
All of a sudden, he hit the stop button on the elevator and spun around. “Why did you do it?”
She gulped as the elevator came to a sudden stop. She’d seen laughter, sincerity, and recently longing in his eyes, but never frustration aimed solely at her. “I didn’t do anything. Logan was about to kiss me. Not the other way around.”
“That’s not what I’m asking. Did our sleeping together mean anything to you?”
She blinked, taken completely aback by his question. “Of course it did. How could you ask me that?”
“Because you still want Logan.”
“No…I don’t know…maybe…” She sighed. “It’s been the plan all along—you’ve known that.”
“Right, and the plan is everything,” he said bitterly. “Sorry if I thought the terms had changed when you were moaning my name and not his.”
Sarah bit her lip to keep from gasping. He did not just say that to her. She wound up her question, heaving it right at him. “So, what exactly did our having sex mean to you?”
“Apparently, more than it did to you.”
Sarah stood stunned. It did? That was breaking news. Sure, she’d said she was glad that they’d gotten it out of their systems, but that was only to protect her heart from getting broken.
His words gutted her insides, throwing her thoughts into a tailspin. Did he seriously think she hopped into bed with every guy she found insanely attractive?
And why was he turning this on her? He was the one not looking for a relationship. Maybe if Ryan had walked into the storage room a minute later he would have seen her and Logan kissing, but it wasn’t like Ryan was headed home alone to lick his wounds. He was going on a second date that would probably end at his place.
She snuffed out that heartbreaking thought, her blood starting to boil because he was acting ridiculous. “Listen, Mr. Fifth-Quarter Experience. I knew what I signed up for last Friday night, and I know that’s all you’re capable of. However, I’m not looking to do the casual sex thing, which is why I’m still interested in Logan.”
He pressed the button and the elevator resumed its descent. Within seconds they reached the lobby. “Glad we cleared that up,” he said flatly and stepped out, heading straight for the front doors.
“Me, too. Have a great time with Corrine,” she called out. Once the elevator doors closed, she covered her face with her hands, trying to convince herself that the terms hadn’t changed.
…
Ryan raced down the last two flights of stairs and hurried out the side door. After storming out of the elevator, he’d waited twenty minutes before walking the fourteen flights back up to his office.
He hadn’t wanted to risk another run-in with Sarah if she saw him get off the elevator, so he’d ducked into his office, dropped off the toner cartridge, grabbed his things, and dashed back down the stairs.
Yep. It was a cowardly thing to do, but he didn’t know what to say to her. He felt like an asshole for raising his voice, but seeing her so close to kissing Logan had made him lose his shit.
He stepped out into the cold and zipped up his coat. What was he doing throwing their night together in her face like that? He wasn’t that guy.
He stopped at the corner, waiting for the crosswalk sign. Maybe this thing he thought was love was simply his wounded pride.
He sighed deeply, knowing that wasn’t it at all.
Even if he was in love with Sarah, what were the odds anything could ever happen between them?
He walked in the direction of Midtown, his thoughts running fast. Say something did happen and they started a relationship. Would it even work out, or would she pull a Melanie and decide down the road she wanted a life with someone else? What if she realized that she had wanted Logan all along?
His chest tightened. People he loved always left him. Melanie…his father… Same story, different names. Adding Sarah to the list would crush him.
But up until thirty minutes ago, he’d been ready to take a chance.
Dammit, Logan. Why did you pick this afternoon to make your move on Sarah?
As he passed by a Christmas-tree lot, a woman using a wheelchair smiled and handed him a bag of peanuts. A dark-green blanket covered her from the waist down. “Merry Christmas.”
“Thank you.” He took the warm bag. “What do I owe you?” He shoved his hand in his coat pocket and pulled out the wallet that Sarah had correctly suspected would be in there.
“It’s on me.” She grinned up at him. “Although, do you have a second?”
He blew out a cold breath and glanced down the street. The temperature was dropping, and he’d like nothing more than to go home, prop up on the couch, and crack open a beer. “Sure. What do you need?”
She maneuvered her wheelchair around. “My husband, Hank, is trying to move some of the bigger trees up front. They sell better in the front row, but it’s really a two-man job, and I’m afraid all he has is me tonight. Our son is off with his friends, and Hank could use a hand.” She pointed down. “Or a good pair of legs and feet.”
He shoved the bag of peanuts in his bag. Apparently, they weren’t free, but, hey, it was Christmas, after all. “Happy to help.”
“Thank you.” She spun her chair. “Hank, my love, you still back there?”
“Yes, Sylvie,” called out a male voice.
“I’ve enlisted a nice young man to help you. Come over here and meet…” She glanced up at Ryan.
“Ryan.”
She smiled. “Come meet Ryan.”
“Sylvie, dear, don’t go badgering our customers. I don’t need help.” The old man stepped from behind the trees.
Ryan’s jaw dropped, recognizing the hat he wore immediately. “I know you.”
“I get that all of the time.” The old man laughed and tugged on his white beard. “Although, it’s usually from people much younger—and much shorter. They think I’m old Saint Nick.”
Ryan laughed. “We’ve never met, but you did the Santa Run last Friday. You were wearing that hat when you passed my car.”
The man adjusted his white Eskimo hat and tugged on the fuzzy pink balls. “It is pretty silly, huh? I’m sure I was quite the sight.” He chuckled and motioned for Ryan to follow him to the back of the lot. “I’ve done the run for the last forty years, and this hat has been to every single one of those runs since I was twenty-five.”
“Really?”
“Yep. It was Sylvie’s. She ran by me wearing it the first night I met her.”
“Oh.” Ryan stared at the man. He didn’t quite know what to say.
“The run started in Brooklyn back then. She was running with a bunch of her sorority sisters.” He grinned over at his wife. “Prettiest girl in the bunch, and easy to spot wearing these.” He tugged again on the furry pink balls and nodded for Ryan to grab the bottom of the tree in front of him. “My heart was a goner the moment I laid eyes on her.”
“I bet it was.” Ryan grabbed the tree’s trunk and helped maneuver the tree to the front and propped it up with all the others.
“You ever experience love at first sight, Ryan?” Hank asked, pulling a rag out of his jacket pocket, wiping his hands, and then giving it to Ryan to do the same thing.
Ryan’s thoughts immediately went to Sarah and the first day she’d walked into the NPH conference room in her black suit, pencil skirt, and black stilettos, her long red hair back in a pretty, sleek ponytail. In that moment, he’d gone right over and took the empty seat next to her because he couldn’t not sit next to her. He smiled, remembering how he’d offered her a malt ball because she seemed jittery. “You know, I think I have.”
“It’s pretty amazing isn’t it? Not everyone gets to experience it.” He nodded over at his wife. “My sweet Sylvie was in a car accident fifteen years ago. I still run, and wearing her hat is the second best thing to having her running right beside me.”
Ryan’s heart squeezed. “That’s a great story. Sarah’s going to love it when I tell her.”
“Is Sarah your sweetheart?”
“Nah, we’re just friends.” And after his outburst earlier in the elevator, he might have even ruined that.
While Hank assisted a couple in selecting their tree, Ryan walked down the aisle. “Sarah would love this place,” he said out loud, his gaze soaring to the top of a beautiful full tree in front of him. Snowflakes had started to gather on its limbs.
All of a sudden, memories of his time with Sarah swarmed his head: sitting next to her that first time in the conference room, the first lunch they’d had in the cafeteria where he’d split one of his sister’s cupcakes, their first kiss on his high school football field, slipping her red dress off her beautiful body…
His body tightened. They were more than friends. Way more.
Maybe it was time for them to rewrite their story. One where he concentrated on the beginning and didn’t harp so much that the ending could crash and burn around him. He needed to take a chance because Sarah was worth it.
An idea hit him, and he said quick good-byes to Hank and Sylvie and headed uptown.
He finally knew what his Secret Santa gift needed to be.