My eyes fly open. The room is shrouded in darkness. I blink a couple of times to adjust my vision and as I do, a hand shifts around my waist. I freeze and slowly turn to look behind me. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Jovan’s in bed with me! I bite down on my fist to stop from screaming. Blurry memories rush back at me as I stare in disbelief at the King of Glacium. In my bed.
He shifts away, rolling onto his other side. The fur falls down around his hips.
Veni, what have I done? I slide out of bed in increments, wincing at the soreness between my thighs.
I had sex with Kedrick’s brother! I sit in shock before my mind starts to work. The responsibilities I carry as Tatuma begin to blanket my desires and wishes. They keep accumulating until I see my decision last night for what it really was. A selfish and rash act.
What had we been thinking? A tear trickles and drips off my chin. The King of Glacium and the Tatuma of Osolis. If word got out, it would be disastrous. My blue eyes would pale in significance to the disgust of…our interbreeding.
How am I any different from my mother? I’ve lived through the devastation of her choices, but here I was repeating her mistakes.
I didn’t regret the moment. But I’m terrified about what it means now.
I look toward the exit as the walls begin to close in on me.
Solis, I practically threw myself at him! He wanted to stop. He asked me if I wanted to do it another time. What if I hadn’t done it right? Tears begin to build in my eyes. I wince as I recall some of the things I did and said, unable to stop a small groan as I remember him washing me afterward. Was he as drunk as I was?
But I remember he came to my chamber. And he kissed me first. My eyes widen. What if he cared for me?
Jovan’s breaths are steady underneath the furs. His breathing hadn’t been steady last night. Neither had mine. I slither into my trousers and feel for my tunic. It’s nowhere to be found. I remember Jovan’s tunic from last night. I grab it off the chair.
I can’t see the horror in his eyes when he comes to the same conclusions I have. There’s no way I’m sticking around to watch. I don’t think I could bear it. This will be proof to him I always run, but it’s for the best. Crystal said she had a place for me to go. I slide my feet into my boots. She said it was a place where no one would ever find me. Maybe a mountain somewhere. I’ll just go for a while. A week or two. Give us both some space to collect ourselves and to remember we have others to think about. I’m doing it for our people. We’ll have time to rid ourselves of any deeper unsanctioned feelings.
When I think I can look Jovan in the eye again, I’ll come back. I’ll return as a cold, distant Tatuma.
I reach for the door and realize the guards will have orders to wake Jovan if I leave. The others from the barracks were given permission to come and go as they pleased after the ball, but I suspect the orders for me are different. Tears threaten again. I rest my head against the wood. What if I’m pregnant? I’ll have a baby who’s mixed and they’ll be shunned like I am. Did Jovan have some way to stop me becoming pregnant? Without a caring mother and no female friends during childhood, I’m entirely ignorant of the finer workings of sleeping with someone.
This thought puts a new urgency into my actions. I look up at the door. Is it smaller than it was a moment ago? I need to get out. Now.
I take a deep breath and peek at Jovan once more, knowing it will be the last time I’ll see him in my bed only wearing furs.
I slip into the hallway and close the door with a soft thud. I wave at the guards and stroll around the corner. As soon as I’m out of sight, I start running.
When I first came to the castle in the Third Sector, I explored different ways to escape once my wrist and shoulder had healed. In the end I never used them. I was grateful for that fact. I take another stairway, leaping over someone slumbering halfway up. The guards could be waking Jovan right now.
I sprint through the meeting room and take the passageway to the kennels. I listen for signs anyone else is there and creep down to the cage levers. The dogs whine and bark as they sense the intruder in their midst. Gripping one lever, I pull down and release a team of dogs. I do the same for the other four teams. I dodge through the pack and pull open the entrance to the kennels. The dogs spill out into the courtyard. Yells start up outside. I watch as the four Watchmen desert their posts and rush down from the castle walkway. The portcullis has been left open for any straggling guests. I slip outside, crouch and run along the dark wall of the courtyard, keeping flush with the shadows.
No one spots me. I run down the path leading away from the castle. Time is short. I must act like Jovan is right behind me. He probably is.
I get lost in the Middle Ring, but orientate myself and soon I reach Alzona’s barracks, wild and out of breath. The sounds of my fist pounding on the door echoes down the alley behind me.
It’s not long before its yanked open. The wary scowl on Alzona’s face turns into surprise as she recognizes me.
“Frost. What’s wrong?” She rushes to open the gate. I hurry in, gasping for air.
I wait until we are inside. “I need to talk to Crystal. Is she here?” I ask. Alzona nods, not wasting time with questions before she retreats down the hall.
Crystal hurries in, eyes alert. She must have woken with the noise as well. The men can’t have made it back yet or they’d be out here, too. As soon as she sees my face, her expression sharpens.
“You’re taking me up on my offer?” she asks.
“I need to hide,” I whisper. “And quickly.” She gives me a terse nod.
I hasten to my room with only a fleeting glance at Alzona, who is looking between Crystal and me.
I thrust a hand into the lumpy mattress and draw out my money and the arrow. I take my warmest jacket and swap my trousers for thicker ones. I don’t know where I’m going, but I’d rather be too warm than too cold. I grab the hat, gloves and my wooden band. I look at the veil - it’s useless. I tear it into unrecognizable pieces and shove it back in the mattress. A loud hammering comes from the front of the barracks. My mouth dries. There isn’t time to get anything else.
I dash to the mess hall. Alzona is gesturing at Crystal, who shakes her head.
“I can’t tell you. Please just trust me,” Crystal pleads.
“Open this door! In the name of the King!” someone yells.
“Open this fucking door!” another roars. I jolt as I recognize Jovan’s voice. “I know what you’re thinking. Don’t you dare run.”
The others turn to me with wide eyes. Crystal gives me a searching look and I nod even as Jovan’s plea causes a pang of longing in my chest. It’s the reason I’m leaving. She grabs my hand.
“Come on, we’ll go out through the roof.” She stops to kiss Alzona, who turns her head away.
“I’m sorry,” I mumble to Alzona as we leave.
Crystal and I push through the trap door, running along the rooftops. I have no idea where she’s taking me. I’m hard-pressed to ignore the deep ache in my stomach, which is objecting to our jolting pace.
The sky begins to lighten and we slow to a walk to navigate around a large frosty mound. Crystal draws in gulping breaths. I’m surprised she’s been able to keep going for so long. I look up as we break from the trees and see the Oscala ahead. The familiar sight of thousands of floating rocks informs me we’re moving away from the mountains. Where is she taking me?
There are no houses this close to Glacium’s edge. Just trees, and birds that have woken early to feast. She turns off the path and we resume our jog for a while before she stops in front of a tree. I look at her, opening my mouth to speak.
I bite back the question as she reaches into a hollow of the tree and pulls out some kind of contraption. She swings it over her back.
“Climb,” she orders.
This time I don’t stop the question. “What? Why?”
She looks at me with raised eyebrows. “Frost, how long do you think it would have taken them to find the roof exit? And then how long before they found one of the hundred or so people we’ve passed on our way here? Then how long before they see our footsteps in the wet ground? There is no time for questions. Climb the damn tree,” she says.
Well, when she puts it like that. I grip a rough limb and begin to haul myself up. I stop halfway.
“Keep on going,” she says below me. “All the way to the top.”
I keep going until the branches start to complain at my weight. Crystal pulls up beside me and begins to work at the contraption, snapping rods into place and pulling straps free. It starts to form a “v” shape. The material is something I haven’t ever seen before. Shiny, flexible, but obviously tough. She swings the large frame behind her and gestures to me with an impatient hand. Biting my lip to keep another question at bay, I approach. Crystal is a sensible woman. Surely she isn’t meaning to do what I think she is. She spins me so my back is to her and reaches around to fasten a strap around our hips. Her touch is efficient, not like Jovan’s warm hands had been. I resist the sudden temptation to sob like a child.
She reaches pale arms around me and fastens another belt around my chest, then releases a thin wooden frame from the stretched material above our heads and lowers it in front of us until it’s at hip level. I grip onto a neighboring branch as we wobble precariously.
“Hold onto the bar,” she instructs and hurries through more pulling and tightening. “Feet in the loops.” I look down as she kicks two leather loops next to my feet. I slip into them and she slots her feet behind mine.
“It’s lucky we’re both on the smaller side. This frame isn’t really designed to fly two people,” she mutters. “Alright, hold onto the bar. Don’t kick. Just keep still. I’ll do the rest,” she instructs.
I twist my head over my shoulder. Did she just say fly?
I don’t get a chance to ask my question. Crystal tips us forward off the branch.
My stomach lurches as we drop and then again as the wind catches beneath the frame and we’re lifted upward. I’m so terrified I can’t make a sound.
“Sorry, it doesn’t normally drop so much! It’s because of the extra weight. I’m going to move us higher now,” she yells over the howl. I gag as she does, drawing the wings in so we drop a little and suddenly pushing them out so we soar higher.
“What is this?” I scream, having finally found my voice.
“Flying! Isn’t it amazing?” she says.
Those aren’t the words I’d choose. My heart has slowed marginally. Enough for me to realize where we’re going.
“We’re going to the Oscala?” I yell. She confirms this with a shout in my ear.
We fly between the islands of rock and dodge the cliff-faces and jutting stones. Crystal pushes us higher and higher, until I start to feel queasy. This isn’t the ideal motion for a hangover. I focus on the thought I’m moving further away from Jovan to take my mind off my complaining stomach. Solis! What must he think of me? I’d rather be locked in a tower than see him again.
Deep in my misery, it takes a few seconds to realize Crystal is lowering us. I open my eyes and feel my jaw drop.
There are houses up here. I close my eyes and open them again, but the houses don’t go away. I twist my head around to look as far around us as possible. The crude houses carry on as far as the eye can see. They’re dotted everywhere. Some of the shelters carved into the sides of rock faces, or in caves. Others just material slung over wooden frames.
“What is this place?” I gasp.
“It’s where I grew up,” she says shortly. “Brace yourself. Landings are harder with two people.”
I tense my arms as she brings us closer to the ground. She slips her feet out of the loops from above mine and angles the contraption backward. I can feel the wind’s resistance slowing us, counteracting our forwards momentum. Crystal’s body is tense behind mine as she pulls on the bar in front of us. She seems to know what she’s doing.
“Feet out of the loops,” she commands when we’re just above the ground. I slip my feet out and the flying frame wrenches upright, dropping us to the ground. The jarring vibrates through my bones. I take a couple of lurching steps, forgetting I’m strapped to Crystal. We tumble to the ground in a heap of arms, legs and wooden rods.
“Sorry,” I cough as she removes her elbow from my chest. I do my best to stand, but my legs feel like water. I sink back to the ground. Crystal laughs.
“Don’t worry, you’ll get used to that.” She crouches down beside me. “Now listen. The others aren’t going to be pleased I brought you here. You’re only allowed to bring back your spouse, technically speaking,” she says. “We are the Ire. A secret sanctuary for those of merged bloodlines. Everyone born here is a mix of Solati and Bruma.” She settles back on her heels to watch as I gape at her. She knows. She knows what I am.
But she said everyone here is mixed. How can that be?
“How long have you known?” I finally ask.
She dusts off her trousers and stands, holding a hand out to me. “I knew as soon as you told me your age. I’ve only ever known people of our height on Glacium to be mixed. Though the women who come in from Osolis, say our height is normal there.” I release my held breath. She doesn’t know my true identity.
I lift a shaking hand and place it in hers, trying to absorb it all as she pulls me up. I wonder at what stage my mind will just overload. A secret village? How long has it existed under the noses of Osolis and Glacium? The housing we’ve passed is not new. I even saw livestock. How many people are here? Exiled from our worlds because of their mixed blood.
Crystal leaves me outside of a shelter. On closer inspection I see the housing is made of a thick material. The cooking equipment is set up in an area sheltered from the wind. I’m glad I brought my warmer clothing with me. Though, I realize, the temperature must always stay the same here. The Ire can’t migrate like we do. It’s an odd concept to grasp. These people wouldn’t have to migrate. There’s a whispered argument coming from the tent.
The material over the entrance is swept aside and a tall man stoops his shoulders as he steps out. He has strawberry blond hair and powder-blue eyes, just like Crystal. This must be her father. He stares at me and I stare back. His daughter steps out and grips his forearm.
“Daddy, this is my friend. She saved my life. This is my way of repaying my debt,” Crystal says. Her father jerks at her words.
The man looks down at her. “That may be, my bird. But Adox won’t allow her to stay here,” he speaks. “You know how stringent he is.” His sentence is loaded. I gather the people who aren’t accepted are also not allowed to leave. I hover awkwardly to the side as her smile falls. I hope Crystal doesn’t get in trouble over this.
Why couldn’t it have just been a mountain somewhere?
I watch as Crystal’s face loses its uncertainty. “Well, I’ll just have to convince him. He’s always liked me,” she says in a blazing tone.
Her father lets out an exasperated breath. “He’d have to love you for this. But what’s done is done. He’ll not be up yet. Bide here and have some food before you go,” he says and moves toward me, arm extended.
“But no matter what happens later, I am honored to meet the person who saved my daughter’s life. I’m Cris.” I shake his hand.
“I’m called Willow,” I say, letting go of his hand. I don’t want anyone here to connect me as Frost and definitely not Olina. Crystal gives me a look, but doesn’t say anything. We sit around the fire as Crystal’s mother, Isha, comes out and introduces herself. She has more of a Solati look to her. Her expression is blank and I can’t tell what she thinks of my presence here - which is saying something. Isha helps Cris to prepare the fire and food. I chew on the dry, unfamiliar food, thinking of the pears I never got to eat back in the castle.
I look around with growing uneasiness, beginning to see coming here wasn’t going be as simple as I thought. I’d misunderstood her. Crystal brought me here to live - permanently. I groan and put my throbbing head in my hands. I choke back tears and shake my head at Crystal’s questioning glance. Isha throws a motherly look my way, which nearly undoes me at the seams.
I worry about what happened to Alzona after we left. I bet Jovan would have ordered his guard to turn the barracks upside down. She’ll be pissed. Crystal has been surprisingly unworried about it. Saying something about “It will serve her right to be in my shoes.” I didn’t know what was going on between them, but I hope it doesn’t last. Crystal isn’t solving anything by avoiding Alzona. I ignore the fact I’m essentially doing the same thing with Jovan.
Why did I do it? Why did I run? The issue of sex aside, maintaining a good relationship with Jovan for the peaceful futures of our worlds was paramount. We had finally been talking as one equal to another. A warm feeling unfurls in my stomach, swiftly overridden by icy dismay. The warm feeling is exactly what I fear. Is this how my mother felt after sleeping with her Bruma, my father? I feel some kind of weird kinship with her for a brief moment.
Cris joins us and we fly to a rocky island a few minutes away.
We land on a crowded rock. At least I don’t fall on my face this time. Every one of the people hushes as they see I’m a stranger. I hear the word “mixed” whispered around. It’s strange this crowd instantly recognizes what I am, when my mother has managed to fool two entire worlds for so long. I still don’t know if I should be terrified or not. But their staring almost makes me laugh. Is there anywhere on any world I can go without people gawking at me for one reason or another?
Unfazed by their hostility, I walk behind Crystal and her father. We approach a man with white hair. I hadn’t expected Adox to be so old. I can’t help a surprised noise from escaping my lips when I see his brown eyes. Solati eyes. Curious now, I take a closer look at those around me. My astonishment at the range of shapes, sizes and colors of the people around me. Beneath my uncertainty a glowing sense of understanding takes root.
I’m not alone.
Adox’s keen eyes move over my features before shifting his perusal to Crystal, who flushes up to the roots of her hair.
“Well met, Adox,” she says, using a Solati greeting. She has hidden all of this so well.
He tilts his head to the side. “You have finally returned, Crystal. And…you have brought company with you,” he says. I’m not fooled by his polite words, though I might have been if not for Cris’ words earlier. I can feel how unwelcome I am. Despite the connection I have to this race, do I really want to stay here? My head gives a painful throb. I need sleep, I can’t think straight.
Crystal flushes a deeper red, if it were possible. “This is my friend and the person who saved my life…” Her eyes widen in panic. I step in.
“Willow,” I say, smoothing over her slip. “My name is Willow.” Adox isn’t convinced. He hums and observes me. I meet his unwavering gaze with my own. Was he born on Osolis? Or up here? If I stayed, I could learn more about this mixed culture and their technology.
“We do not generally receive visitors in the Ire,” he replies and gestures unnecessarily around him. I use it as an excuse to break off our stare down. In doing so, I get another look at the hostile faces around me. Though perhaps some are simply curious.
“Don’t you?” I ask a bit dryly. His eyes flash in amusement, I hope. He keeps his eyes on me as he questions Crystal and then her father. He’s shaking his head. I can see Crystal is growing angry. Her fists are clenching.
“You should not have made a promise you couldn’t keep!” someone yells. I see the exact moment when Crystal has had enough.
I don’t expect her shouted confession.
“I was raped!” she says, eyes scrunched closed. I turn to her and speak rapidly as the crowd gasps.
“No. You don’t have to do this. Please don’t do this.” I turn to Adox and speak out. “I’ll leave. I assure you, no one will hear of the Ire from me.”
Crystal’s father stares at her with white-faced horror.
“Crystal, don’t,” I plead. She pushes me away.
“I was raped a few years ago. By a monster. His name was Slay. Every time I saw him I was so petrified I could hardly speak. But it wasn’t only that. I was a shadow of a person after it. Some days I didn’t even know if I was alive,” she says, gasping between some of the words. What have I done? Crystal is baring her soul to her entire community just because I couldn’t handle the repercussions of sleeping with Jovan.
“Not long ago, our barracks was arrested and thrown into the dome,” she continues. From the gasps filling the air I gather everyone knows what this is.
“Willow was our best fighter. She saved my life. Saved all of our lives and then she fought Slay and let me take my revenge. I cut him into pieces. Just like he did to me over the years. She’s mixed! Anyone can see that. When did we start turning people away who needed help? I thought I’d be able to offer her this refuge as some way of repaying what I owe her, but it seems I won’t even be able to do that.” She throws a glare at Adox and grabs my arm.
“Come on, we’re going,” she says and drags me away. Cris stands in the same spot, shocked expression unchanged. I jog to keep up with her. I look over my shoulder and see Adox gesture to two of the bigger men. We’re nearly at the flying contraptions. The men approach, one moves to grab Crystal, and it’s my turn to snap. I’ve had a bad day. I elbow mine in the throat and wrap my legs around him as he falls to his knees. He’s on the ground mere moments after I slam his head on the rock. I deal with the second man before his hand grips Crystal’s forearm. I turn around and lift my chin, staring defiantly at the gaping crowd.
“You may not let me stay. But you will let me leave. You have my word that this sanctuary will remain secret.” I join Crystal where she assembles the flying device. Murmuring builds behind us.
A short bark interrupts the crowd. The sound is unexpected. Adox is…laughing?
“You always were a fiery one, Crystal. I apologize. The reasons for your actions are good reasons indeed. I am convinced you did not bring Willow here out of a flight of fancy.” He stands from his chair and limps over to us, arm extended.
“Willow, I welcome you to the Ire. Everyone is expected to contribute here in some way. In return you will be given food and housing. Do you have any skills?” he asks.
I stare at him and gesture at the groaning men behind me. “I can fight. And I’ve worked with children for many years,” I say.
His eyes twinkle at my contradicting skill set. “I’m sure that will be plenty enough for now. Please talk with Isha, she will direct you to the proper places. Crystal, you will teach her how to fly,” he says.
Crystal leans in and speaks in a low voice. “I will stay a short while, but I must get back to my employer, or lose my job.” I look at her, a bit alarmed to find out the only person I know is going to leave me. Can I go with her, too? How will I get back if she flies off? All I can hear is Jovan in my ear talking about unforeseen consequences.
Adox looks a bit annoyed at her reply, but he gives a curt nod and surveys the lingering crowd.
“Hamish,” he calls. A handsome young man approaches. He has curly black hair and friendly green eyes. He looks to be about my age, maybe a little older. “You will show Willow how to fly,” he says. Hamish looks at me and an appreciative whistle sounds on his lips. He grins at Adox, who makes another odd barking laugh and limps away to settle the onlookers.
Hamish looks at Crystal and flicks her cheek. “Nice to see you, pipsqueak. Still like to cause a stir, I see,” he says. He darts a look at me and I find myself smiling in return.
“Stop making eyes at my friend, you dolt. She’s not interested,” Crystal grumbles and fastens the straps around us both.
“I’ll just have to wear her down while I teach her to fly.” He steps in and tightens the belt around my waist. He holds his hands there too long and I hear Crystal give a suffering sigh behind me. I shift my gaze from his green one and step into the loops he holds out. Crystal slips her feet behind my own.
“I’ll be seeing you,” he says and winks. I ignore him and brace myself for the lurch in my stomach as we tip off the edge.
While Crystal has a much needed talk with her parents, I take a good look at Crystal’s Soar - as she calls it. Adnan would die of happiness if he saw it. And my brother’s eyes would nearly pop out of his head. I can’t begin to understand its finer workings, but some of the parts are obvious. It has a similar shape to bird’s wings. Several lightweight rods travel from tip to tip of the wings and keep them straight so the wind catches underneath. These rods separate in the middle so the wings can fold. On our way here we supported our weight through a square frame which pulls down from the wings. There are a variety of other rods framing the wings and then there are leather straps. One for the chest, one for the hips, and loops for the feet. Quite simply, it’s amazing.
During the day, young children fly past Isha’s island to get a look at the stranger in their midst. The most persistent of the group, a boy with flaming red hair, hardly leaves our sight. I badger Crystal with questions until weariness and my sore head finally get the best of me.
I lay in my new tent, which Cris assembled for me, thinking over what I was told. Adox’s father set up the secret village after he was exiled from Osolis as a teenager. The Ire’s made up of family islands, each suspended landmass named after the eldest female living there. When there’s no matriarch, it is named after the eldest male. The communal islands have obvious names like, Farm Rock and Nursery Rock.
I doubt I’ll be here long enough to memorize all of the names, but it doesn’t curb my acute interest. A whole race of people! Surviving amongst the floating islands of the Oscala. If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I would think it myth or a fantastical story.
I have no idea if I should be here or not. But I’m in no shape to make a decision right now. I’ll do what I should’ve done before leaving the castle, wait a few days before making a choice.