Shame

“PLEASE...WATCH YOUR words,” the doctor said, leaning in and staring at Shame with eyes that held more than a hint of steel. “You think I’m speculating about this because I enjoy seeing somebody who I cared for as a child squirm and worry?”

Shame opened his mouth to deny the doctor’s words.

A movement off to his side silenced him.

Charli had turned away. As he watched, she paced over to the window and it was the reflection he saw there that kept him silent. She’d lifted a hand, closed it into a fist and pressed it to her mouth.

Maybe it was her mother’s ghost who whispered into his ear, People care about you, Max. And when you’re careless, you hurt them.

“What do you want?” Shame bit off.

“I want to do a physical and draw some blood, ask you some more questions,” Dr. Rodriguez said simply.

He might as well have been asking Shame to shit solid gold. “No,” he said, shaking his head. Let somebody put their hands on him? Hell, no. No.

Rodriguez nodded, heaving out a sigh. “I was hoping you’d see it otherwise, all things considered. Very well. I need to speak with Dr. Steele a moment, then perhaps you would at least allow us the courtesy of looking at your back.”

He rose and gestured to Charli.

Charli had turned and was staring at both of them with dry, red eyes.

All things considered...

What the fuck?

They’d almost made it to the door when the words spilled out of him.

“What the fuck do you mean, all things considered, Doc?”

“That’s none of your concern, Max,” Rodriguez said, one hand solicitously at the base of Charli’s spine. “Come along, Dr. Steele. We’ll—”

“If you don’t tell me what’s going on—” and take your fucking hand off her— “I’m going to break your hand off at the wrist and feed it to you, Doc. Got it?”

He didn’t know where he’d found the strength to stand, much less close half the distance between him and the older man, but one minute he was on the bed, the next he was closer to Charli and Rodriguez and he was mad enough to bite something. Hurt something. Tear something.

Charli whipped her head around and stepped in front of the doctor—always such a saint.

“He’s going to tell me he wants to draw blood from me, you son of a bitch!” she snapped.

Shame’s head snapped back.

A second later, an ugly fear was birthed in the back of his mind. “Why?”

“Because he suspects that you fucked me, that’s why.” She’d taken a step toward him and was breathing heavily. “You’ve got the symptoms of somebody who is immune-compromised and he wants to make sure I don’t have something like HIV, you dumbass.”

That fear sprang to horrid, awful life and he shook his head. “That ain’t possible.”

“Why?” She laughed, the sound like jagged razors. “Because you and I both know his suspicions are spot on.”

Neither of them noticed Rodriguez slipping out of the room.

“No,” he said, shaking his head.

“Why not? Because we were so careful?” she demanded. “Exactly when were we careful, Max? When you fucked me up against the wall the first time? Or when you pushed me onto my knees and told me to take your cock into my mouth so you wouldn’t take me again while I was still too sore from you?”

Memories he’d tried to banish slammed into him and he fought them back.

“That’s not what I meant,” he rasped, shaking his head, shoving back against the tide. “I get tested, damn it. Every month. And how the fuck would he know what...about...”

Charli stared at him, her eyes going wintry. “That’s not your concern.”

Some men might have gotten mad, or jealous, thinking that the woman they loved had gone and told some other guy about a night they’d shared. But some men weren’t Shame Schaeffer and some men didn’t know Charli Steele the way he did.

She’d no sooner kiss and tell than she’d sprout wings.

“What’s going on?” he asked coolly, while his head spun in dizzying circles.

“It doesn’t matter.” She turned to the door.

He opened his mouth, then closed it as she took one, two, three steps away from him.

“I’ll let him do the fucking tests if you’ll tell me.”

A hard shudder racked her. She’d already reached for the door knob and he could see how her knuckles went white as she gripped it. “That’s blackmail, Shame,” she rasped.

The room wobbled around him as he moved closer. Close enough that he could brace his hand on the door just above her head. “I’ll let him do the tests on two conditions...you tell me, and you fucking stop calling me Shame.”

She spun around, glaring at him. “What do you want from me?” she demanded. “I was willing to give you everything, you son of a bitch, and you all but threw me away. Now when I finally decided that I was worth more than that, you won’t leave me alone!”

Her words were like salt in the open wound of his soul, but he wasn’t backing down.

Something was wrong with his Charli.

His, he realized.

His Charli.

He reached up to touch her cheek. “Why are you selling this house?” he asked bleakly.

“What does it matter to you?” She went to push his hand aside.

He caught hers instead, twining their fingers. “Every good memory I had as a kid was here. And you’ll just give it away?”

She flinched, her face going white. “Damn you.”

“That happened a long, long time ago,” he said wearily. His legs wobbled under him and he knew he wouldn’t be able to stand much longer. He would have dug his fingers into the wood if he could have managed, simply for a better hold, in hopes it would keep him upright.

“You look like you’re about to pass out,” she said, accusation in her voice.

“Then you better tell me whatever it is you’re hiding.” He swayed forward and shuddered a little as the tips of her breasts brushed against his chest. Excruciating, exquisite detail of the hours they’d spent together were burned into the very fibers of his soul.

“If I tell you,” she said in a low voice, “you have to give me your word you’ll go along with every fucking test the doctor orders. Every one. No matter what. You’ll go to the hospital, you’ll listen to him.  You’ll do the tests.”

He tensed, those old, long-buried fears rising to the fore.

Charli knew it, too. “Every one, Sh— Max. I’ll be there with you if you need me. Although you’re going to have to ask. I’m done waiting around for you. But you have to give me your word.”

“Fine,” he bit off. “I promise.”

She sucked in a breath through her nose, then blew out. Seconds passed and she looked aside. “Let him finish first. Then we’ll talk.”

“No.”

She turned her head back to his and he saw the cool, steely reserve in her eyes. “It’s the best you’re going to get.” Ice coated the smile she gave him. “And don’t think you can pry it out of my brothers. They don’t know. Nor will they.”