Even though his shift ended at four on Wednesdays, Eddie usually stuck around for a bit, sharing some laughs with Sylvia or pushing paperwork, avoiding the inevitable return to his empty apartment and the thoughts that tended to encroach when he got there. The ones that said he had no excuse not to be at Serenity Hills right now instead.
But tonight, Eddie had legitimate plans. He pushed through the doors of The Corner Market, Oyster Bay’s gourmet grocer in the heart of the town center. Usually the striped awning, piped café music, and outdoor flower stand intimidated him—besides, regardless of what he’d told Margo, most of his meals came from the pizza joint down the street or the take and bake section of the nearest Hannaford.
He grunted as he grabbed a cart, telling himself he’d be in and out in ten minutes. Fifteen, tops. He glanced over his shoulder as he approached the cheese display, which was set up like a French food stall, right down to the chalkboard sign that listed this week’s special varieties.
If Sylvia caught wind of this, she’d never let him forget it.
He took the first cheese his hand touched, then, with another glance out the window, took a moment to consider his options. Brie. Gruyere. Some things he couldn’t pronounce. He read a few of the flowery descriptions, smiling to himself, even though they did help him, loath as he was to admit it.
Next he moved onto the produce section where he quickly found some grapes to go with the cheese, and ingredients for a salad. All that was left was the fish and the dessert. See, this wasn’t really a big deal at all.
“Eddie?”
He turned, hoping it wasn’t Sylvia, even though rationally he knew that it wasn’t her voice. Sylvia’s voice was more of a growl. Husky and deep and just threatening enough to keep her looking tough for her job—and her kids.
“Aunt Lori.” He exhaled in relief.
She laughed. “I don’t bite.”
“Sorry, just startled.” He grinned. “I’m a little out of my element here.”
“What’s the occasion?” Lori looked down to inspect his cart, and then gave him a suggestive look. “A date?”
“No.” Not really, at least. “Just…dinner.”
“Seems like a date to me!” Lori laughed when Eddie frowned and reached over to playfully swat his arm. “Don’t mind me, it’s none of my business. But don’t be mad at me for getting my hopes up a bit.”
“Your hopes?” Was she really that desperate to marry him off?
“Oh, you know…I guess I thought that if you found a nice girl in town, you might settle down here. I’ve liked having you back in Oyster Bay. And believe it or not, so has Steve.”
Eddie wasn’t so sure about that. After all, wasn’t it his Uncle Steve that refused to take him back in all those years ago? “It’s okay, Lori. You don’t need to try to make me feel better. I know that I let you guys down all those years ago.”
Lori looked surprised, and then hurt. “More like we felt we let you down. Steve sent you away to straighten you out, to help you. That’s all we ever wanted for you.”
Eddie pulled in a breath. Tough love. He understood. He’d practiced it himself in recent years.
“We’d always hoped you’d come back to town. And now…well, here you are.” She smiled.
“Here I am.” Eddie swallowed hard. Mick had emailed that afternoon, with more details of the job. It was everything that Eddie could have dreamed of and more. The chance to really do some good. To set up programs, clean up the streets, make a name for himself. Rewrite history.
“I hope she enjoys it, whoever she is.” Lori wiggled her eyebrows, and Eddie managed a grin.
“I hope so, too.” Not that he expected anything to come from it. Margo was still a married woman, and he wasn’t exactly sure of his future himself.
“Will you come by for dinner next week?” Lori said, moving past him to inspect some apples, which looked as if they’d been brought in straight from the orchard that day.
“I’d like that,” he agreed, and he would, very much. Those dinners with Lori, Steve, and Nick were the only family meals he’d ever had, then and even now. How many times after he’d gone back to Jersey, eating bologna sandwiches or bowls of cereal, alone in the trailer, did he dream about Lori’s roast chicken and mashed potatoes and hot apple crisp for dessert? And even when he moved on, grew up, joined the force, his only hot meals still came from the microwave or a restaurant. But it wasn’t just the food. It was the laughter, the warmth. Simple things like the way Lori always asked how his day was, and the way she genuinely seemed to care how he answered. His first Christmas in Oyster Bay had been one of the first real Christmases he’d ever had. His dad never did the whole tree and presents thing, and there definitely wasn’t any Santa stopping by to save the day. But Lori made it special. She made everything special.
Just like Margo had, he thought, remembering that first holiday and the ornament she’d given him as a gift. He’d kept it, all these years, even though he never had a tree to hang it on. He set it on his dresser instead, so it was the first thing he saw in the morning. And eventually, he took it down. Took every memory of this town and the life that was so different from his out of his mind. But try as he might, he could never take it out of his heart.
Sure, Mick had invited him over for the holidays every year, let him catch a glimpse of the whole suburban thing—a dog, two kids, a wife who called him “honey.” As much as Eddie appreciated it, he couldn’t wait to leave, to get back to the city, to his apartment, where he didn’t have to think about all the things he might have wanted to have and couldn’t seem to find.
Dating wasn’t a problem, but he never got close. It was easier to keep to himself, be his own man, not worry about judgment or understanding or…good-byes.
He continued his shopping, even faster than planned, trying not to think about Mick’s email or his life in Philly or all the people he might soon leave behind. Again.
***
Margo looked around the cottage, even though there was nothing to really worry about. She didn’t need to straighten up—the furnishings were sparse. She’d lit a fire in the fireplace an hour ago, something she never got to do in Charleston because Ash didn’t like the way it made the house smell, and now thought the better of it. It might send Eddie the wrong idea, that she thought this night was going to be something more than what it could be.
Even if maybe a part of her wished that it could.
She pulled in a sigh as she walked into the kitchen and took a bottle of sparkling water from the fridge. She selected two glasses and set them out on a tray, which she carried into the living room and set on the slip covered ottoman. It was dark outside, but she could hear the waves crashing through the tall windows. The sound of the sea had a way of calming her; it always had. And tonight, she needed it.
She was nervous, and why shouldn’t she be? She hadn’t been alone with Eddie in more than a dozen years. Once it had felt so natural, so normal. Now…she feared long pauses and awkward silences. She feared having nothing to talk about. She feared having too much to talk about, connecting in a way that she hadn’t connected in a long, long time.
There was a knock at the door. Oh, God. She set a hand to her stomach, which was knotting and fluttering all at once, and smoothed her sweater over her hips to collect herself. She walked to the door, took a deep breath in and out, and then opened it to see Eddie standing there, holding up two paper bags from The Corner Market, a big grin on his face.
And…she swooned. Just a little.
“Cute place,” he said as he pushed past her. He slipped off his shoes, took a look around, and managed to find his own way to the kitchen. He deposited the bags on the counter and shrugged out of his coat, which he hung over the back of a barstool.
He was making this easy for her. Too easy. It was as if no time had passed. As if this were just another night, as if these dinners were a regular occurrence.
She suddenly wished they could be.
“What’s on the menu?” she asked, feeling her shoulders relax. He’d pushed up his sweater sleeves and she watched his forearms flex as he pulled the items from the bag. Her stomach dipped and soared. She looked away. Busied herself with finding a cutting board for the cheese and crackers.
“Salmon with a roasted vegetable salad and a surprise for dessert.”
“It isn’t every day I get a meal from The Corner Market,” she said, grinning as he unwrapped the cheese and opened the boxes of crackers.
“Me either,” he admitted, and Margo felt her pulse skip, realizing he’d made a special effort.
“How’s this for a salmon?”Eddie grinned as he set a huge filet wrapped in paper down on the cutting board.
“Delicious. Can I help?”
“No.” Eddie shook his head. “I invited you to dinner, this is all on me. You just sit and relax and look pretty.”
Silence. Margo felt her cheeks flush as Eddie opened a few cupboards and eventually found what he needed to bake the fish.
“What about the salad—” she started, noticing the ingredients, but a sharp look from Eddie made her laugh. “I didn’t know you knew how to cook.”
He paused. “Confession. This is one of only two meals I know how to cook, and I learned from some dude on that television channel.”
Now Margo was really laughing, all thoughts of his comment about her being pretty forgotten. Well, almost. “So what do you do for dinner most nights?”
“Pizza.” He grinned. “Microwavable meals? Sometimes I go over to my Uncle Steve and Aunt Lori’s.” He added some seasoning to the filet of salmon.
“And back in Philly?” She was eager for information, about his life there, about everything she had missed all these years.
“Oh, the same. Maybe a cheese steak for variety.” He winked, and God help her, her stomach fluttered.“It was just me and Dad for a while, and then it was just me. I had to figure out how to make something, or I wouldn’t eat.”
Margo frowned. She didn’t like thinking of Eddie living that way. It was easier to think of him at Steve and Lori Boyd’s house, the cute cedar-shingled Colonial with the white shutters.
“How is your dad?” she asked.
Eddie said nothing as he preheated the oven and moved on to the salad. “Not well. I don’t visit very often. It’s…” He seemed to struggle for the right word and finally said, “Complicated.”
“I’m sure. But you must be on better terms now…if you’re here?”
Eddie looked over the counter at her, square in the eye. “I didn’t come back for my father. I came back for Uncle Steve and Aunt Lori. They were good to me. And they asked me to come.”
“But your father surely wants you here too,” Margo protested.
Eddie looked back down at the vegetables he’d set out on a cutting board. “Pretty convenient, huh? He wasn’t there when I needed him, and now…” He shook his head.
Margo saw the hurt flash in his eyes, just like when they were younger, when the kids at school would tease. “You’re a good man, Eddie.” She swallowed hard, realizing it was true.
She waited until he had the salmon in the oven and timer set before saying, “I have some sparkling water for us in the living room. Maybe we could start with the cheese?”
They walked into the main room, where Margo studied the furniture arrangement. Should she sit next to him, on the one sofa, or take an armchair instead? It would make for an awkward reach for the ottoman, though.
Eddie solved the problem for her by taking a spot on the floor, the fireplace at his back. She grinned and did the same, opposite him, her back against the sofa.
“How do you like being back in Oyster Bay?” he asked.
She pulled in a breath. “I don’t know. At first, it felt strange, but now…now it will be hard to think about leaving again.” And what would she do? Go back to Ash? Or just go back to South Carolina? To her nail salon and French restaurant and rolodex of clients…That didn’t seem like her life at all anymore. She had friends, but they were more like acquaintances. “I’d miss my sisters,” she said.
He frowned. “Are you planning on going back to Charleston?”
Margo didn’t immediately reply. “I don’t know what I’m doing,” she finally said. “My entire life is there, at least that’s what I thought, but being back here with my sisters, and even Mimi, well, it reminds me of how much I left behind.”
“And your husband?”
Margo snapped a cracker in half, enjoying the satisfaction of the sound it made. “My husband cheated on me. And I have to figure out how to move forward.”
He nodded, but didn’t push for further details. “You’ll figure it out. Big decisions take time.”
“So do big changes,” she said, raising her eyebrows.
“I was offered a job in Philly,” Eddie blurted. “With my old partner. A good opportunity. One I wouldn’t have expected.”
“Oh.” Her mouth felt dry. Of course. She should have known. Eddie was only in Oyster Bay because of his father, and soon, he’d have no reason to stay. “Did you make a decision?”
“I have to give him one by this Friday.”
This Friday. It seemed so sudden. He was only just now back in her life. How could he be gone again so quickly?
She wanted to ask him to stay. To do things different this time. But she couldn’t. She was a married woman, technically. Her house, her belongings, her life was across the country. How could she ask him to stay in Oyster Bay when she wasn’t even so sure she’d be staying here herself?
“It’s a good opportunity. A chance to make a difference. It’s one of the things I like about being an officer, I get to help people; even if it’s only for a day, it’s something.” He paused. “There was a boy I knew. Jesse. He had a bad home life and didn’t have anyone to help him make better decisions. He didn’t have a future. I brought him in a few times, petty crimes, and then one day I cut him a deal. If he played it straight, I’d help him out. Get him into a few after school programs, that sort of thing.”
Margo stared at him. “That’s really wonderful, Eddie.”
“He lasted a few months and then disappeared. Right back to where he started. Or worse.” Eddie looked down. “I have no idea.”
She reached over to hold his hand, and then thought better of it, and reached for her glass instead. “You did your best, Eddie. That’s all you could do.”
“But I tried to help him. I wanted to save him!”
Margo gave a sad smile. My, that sounded familiar. “You can’t save everyone. They have to do it on their own.”
Just like Eddie had, she thought. He went from being an angry, lonely kid, to a strong, confident man who knew who he was and wasn’t ashamed of where he’d come from. He’d fought against his circumstances, reached for something better.
Gone was the boy who sat alone at lunch until the day she’d joined him at the table, under the guise of finding a partner for a school assignment.
“Do you remember that time we worked on that English paper together?” It was the beginning of their friendship. She never could have known then where it would lead them.
He seemed to perk up as he searched for the memory. “Catcher in the Rye. We must have sat at Angie’s Café for six hours writing that paper!”
“She just kept refilling our coffee.” Margo smiled. They were too young to be drinking coffee, but they were also too young to admit that to each other. Looking back, they each had their insecurities. He had a reputation. And she…well, she had a crush.
“You know, I kept that book. It has all your notes in the margin.”
Her heart swelled. “I’d love to see that sometime.”
“Gladly. After all, I got an A. It was the first A I’d ever gotten.” He grinned, and oh, she clung to that look, all boyish and sweet and full of so many feel good memories.
“But not the last,” Margo pointed out. “You would have gotten more if you didn’t keep cutting class.”
His expression darkened, and Margo wished she hadn’t let the mood dip. “Wouldn’t have had to cut if things had been easier.” Now he grinned, that same wicked grin he’d give her when he picked her up on that old dusty motorcycle that had once belonged to his Uncle Steve. “Besides, I was always outside the school gates at three, waiting for you.”
“That you were,” she said. “I could always count on that.”
“And I could always count on you,” he said, his voice low and husky.
Her heart was beating fast in her chest as she watched him slide around the ottoman until he was sitting beside her, so close she could feel the heat of his body, smell the musk of his shampoo. So close that if she closed her eyes it would be like no time had passed, and they were just Margo and Eddie. How it used to be. How it should have been.
“I want to kiss you right now,” he said, and Margo felt her heart speed up. A hundred thoughts seem to whirr through her mind all at once. Thoughts of kissing Eddie on the beach when they were just teenagers. The first, glorious, tentative kiss under the tree in Bent Park. The last, slow, tear-filled kiss on her front stoop. And Ash.
But she didn’t think of Ash kissing her. She thought of Ash kissing that other woman.
She wanted Eddie to kiss her, just like a part of her had wanted him to kiss her the other day at the festival. She wanted to go back to that time and place where everything in the world was right. When a kiss was soft and sweet and straight from the heart. To a moment when she felt loved, and wanted. She wanted Eddie to kiss her. Then, now, maybe, in her heart, always. She licked her bottom lip, preparing her response, even though she wasn’t sure what it would be, but before she could say anything, he said, “But I’m not going to.”
Oh. Well there went that dilemma. She wondered if the disappointment registered on her face. She should be relieved, really. It would make her life more complicated than it already was. And a kiss from Eddie was…complicated.
“I hope that doesn’t mean dessert is off the table, though,” he said, giving her a slow grin that she couldn’t resist.
She couldn’t be mad at Eddie. He was making the right choice for both of them. He was being the adult. The responsible one. She grinned at the thought.
The timer on the oven went off, pulling her from this moment and back to reality.
“Only if it’s chocolate,” she said, standing to follow him into the kitchen.