I've spent seven years burying the day everything went to shit. Now, it's on my mind more than ever.

Guess that's the consequence of sharing a bed with an angel, having her tangled up in me, hammering the pussy I've wanted for years into sweet submission. We fuck so often it leaves my dick sore. It still doesn't keep me from coming back for more the next night.

Call it ritualistic. Pleasure at its purest. Salvaging a piece of my soul I thought I'd lost forever.

It's a thousand kinds of poetry, animal need and heart coming together in a sweltering, grunting, sheet-clenching dance.

Fuck yes, I do emphasize the coming part.

If doll wasn't in love with me before, she's smitten now. I've let her fall harder and deeper than anyone else. I've officially fucked her more times than I've let every woman combined stenciled into my little black book come back for seconds. My cock works its magic, but I didn't know it could curse me, too.

By the end of the week, I'm on the ferry to Bainbridge, clenching my little black fuck book in my hand. I page through it, trying to place a face to the names and numbers.

Can't remember seventy percent of them, and the ones I do make me gag. I'm not much of a writer, but I do know when it's time to close out the darkest, loneliest chapter of my life.

“Sayonara,” I whisper, before flinging it off the ship's top deck, into the Puget Sound. It sinks below the waves with a splash.

There's no going back. I'm too far down the two-way street she's carved since I got her naked. Longer than our fucking, if I'm brutally honest.

I slump in the deck chair, pulling my sweater tight against the chill from the ocean, staring into its churning depths. If only I could toss the rest of our dirty past overboard as easily as I did my old hookups.

That's far too easy, especially when every time I'm in Maddie puts me more in tune with how I got there. Memories don't die so easy.

Today, I let them come. The second to worst day of my life returns for the first time in years, without creating a raging need to break my fist on the nearest surface.

* * *

I go straight from the street doll disappeared down back to school. If I'm quick, I might be able to catch the bully piece of shit before he's gone. Never any guarantees, knowing how often he skips out early with his crew.

There's no point wasting time to call for backup. Cade and Spence are out for the evening, both heading home for the long weekend we've got thanks to teachers' conferences. I'll be damned if I let this fester for four fucking days without finding out what's going on with Maddie.

I'm able to avoid the end of the day rush for the buses, the lockers, and then home as students flood out the main entrance. I find a couple kids I know and ask if they've seen him. They tell me he took off with his dad twenty minutes ago.

I'm too late. Shit.

Obviously, I don't give up that easy. I've seen him and his boys around town, know they like to spend their evenings around the community center not far from the Academy, where they can pass off weed to poorer kids in the parking lot for pocket change. I head home and do homework for a few hours before I grab my bike, praying he'll be where I think he is.

I'm in luck.

Scourge and his boys always leave out the back of the community center and cross the field sloppily fenced off for new construction, heading up the long hill behind the building. His black jeep with the chipped paint jumps out right away. Guess his politician daddy put a moratorium on buying him a new one after he totaled two brand new vehicles in the past year.

They're parked well away from any prying eyes at the end of the lot, next to overgrown brush. It's a perfect spot where they can smoke, jack each other off, or do whatever else these idiots get into alone.

Perched on the hill behind a bush, I wait five minutes before I see their black shapes moving across the field, coming toward me. There's no mistaking his idiots hanging on his every word, laughing, watching while he lights up a smoke.

I can't tell whether it's just a cig or something stronger. Hope it's weed. I'll get a better jump on him if he's out of it, and I need every advantage when it's three-to-one.

I'd kill for John's army chops right about now.

My fists tighten when he comes close enough to hear his voice. His smoke stinks like reefer, and he slows, clutching an overstuffed backpack slung around his shoulder. “...So the bitch pulls up her panties, gives me a look like I just kicked her dog, and asks me if I want to stay for dinner. Like, just sit down with her fucking family and pretend I'm not the jackass who just had his dick down her throat.”

“No way!” his friend Reed says, doubling over with laughter. “Is she stupid? I thought you liked them fucking smarter than that.”

“Hold it, I'm not done. Brains and pussy never mixed anyway. So, I smile, pull her in close, make her think I might be ready for a girlfriend instead of a hot hole to fill. Leave her in suspense for, oh, sixty seconds before I smack her across the forehead. Hard as I can.” He pauses, grinning like he's accomplished something great, the two wing-men dipshits at his side laughing like hyenas.

“She goes off real predictable, spitting my name, asking what the fuck. I throw her against the wall, push up that skirt, and dry hump some sense back into the cunt. She's too fuckin' dazed to even cry when I tell her she's out of her mind. Doesn't say shit when I remind her I've got my dick where it is because we know what a huge whore she is. All she'll ever stay.”

“Ha ha, wow, man, where's the punchline?” Other kid in leather – Mike, I think – tries to force a smile, unable to override his inner cringe.

“Huh? You think this is a joke? I'm making a fucking point. You two wanna start getting your dicks wet, then start treating them with the same respect I do. My old man talks to a lot of assholes in finance, and they've got a good term: pump and dump. That's what you do. Drain your snake and leave them doe-eyed, always ready to bust their lip if they give you any.”

Fuck listening to a second more of this. As soon as Scourge and his boys are past, just a few steps up the hill, it's time. I leap out, swinging a heavy branch I found in the brush.

“What the fuck!” The trio screams in unison.

I smash the pack leader across his shoulders, giving me the only three second opening I'll get. He goes down hard, that heavy looking black bag on him helping gravity. It snags on a couple rocks, and there's a ripping sound.

It's the look in his evil eyes that surprises me. Not rage, like I expected, but fear.

I don't know what to do with that. This isn't what I planned for, and there is no backup. So, I do the only thing I can: push the sharp stick close to his face and stare down his cohorts, circling me like wolves. “Don't. You hit me, he gets it right through the eye. I'm not fucking around here, boys.”

“Randolph,” Scourge growls, recovering the same fowl, fuck everybody look he always wears. “You even think about moving that thing another inch, I'll feed you your own balls. Back the fuck off.”

“No. Not before you tell me why Maddie went home in tears. I know you had a lot to do with it. Told you before, asshole; you mess with her, you get me.”

He sits up, slumping against his bag. I can't tell what he's protecting, and honestly I could care less.

I just want an answer to my fucking question, before I'm forced to do something we'll regret.

I'm not a violent person. Never once thought of running off to Uncle Sam to play hero like my big brother, but we share the same blood. I can fight. Instinct understands how to do serious damage.

“Randolph –“

“Shut the fuck up! Just answer.” I'm still trying, and I don't know why. The look on his face tells me it'll just be more crap out of his mouth.

“No need, asshole,” he whispers. His hand goes for the lump in his pocket. It's probably the switch blade I've seen him with before, carving swastikas and nasty phrases into the desks and benches when he thinks no one's looking. He still thinks its funny to etch teacher's phone numbers into the walls, asking for 'a good time,' even though he's done it dozens of times. “You already know what's up, or you wouldn't be out here with a death wish.”

His arm drops behind him, tugging on the bag, yanking the torn strap over his shoulder again. I motion to the bag for a split second with my stick. “What're you hiding, Alex?”

“Like you don't fucking know. Cut the shit, Randolph. You're making a huge mistake, getting in the middle. Can't believe you'd stick your dick out for that little nerd, and practically ask me to slice it off.”

I can't stop him. He lurches to his feet, rather than drawing his knife. I fell for a feint. The assholes behind him shake off their daze, ready to hit me with everything they've got, as soon as Scourge says the word.

It's three on one, and I'm as ready as I'll ever be.

I swallow the nervous lump in my throat. Whatever it takes.

I'll suffer broken bones if it gets them suspended again, keeps them away from Maddie.

“Wait.” He throws out his arms, blocking his friends before they make any moves, a poison smirk on his lips. “We don't need to settle this today. Not here. You don't want to jack my stash. I'm not the one you're dealing with, Randolph, if you're that fucking stupid. You squeal to the cops, you're settling score with every asshole West of Spokane who's counting on his fix.”

This restraint from him is new. I hate it. He's gotten into countless fistfights over the years, ever since he was old enough to wear leather and chains, demolishing anybody who got in his way.

It's a classic standoff. The four of us are frozen, leering, adrenaline in the air so thick it burns my nostrils.

I know it's drugs, and he doesn't want to risk losing them. He knows they can break every bone in my body with three on one, but they'll pay a heavy price if I stab that black bag, or send somebody to the ER with contraband on them.

“Come on, guys. Leave this shithead to his last day on earth. Let it sink in how fucked he is before we've lightened our load, and we come back to deal with him.” He should be laughing as he shoots me one more vicious look, turns, and starts heading up the hill with his boys at his side. Mike and Reed keep looking back, shaking their heads and grinning, like they're in on the big dirty secret I still don't fully understand.

A lot still doesn't make sense. What does that crap in the bag have to do with torturing Maddie?

I stand there like a fool for the next five minutes, watching their black jeep rumble out of the parking lot, trying to figure out what the hell I've gotten into.

Whatever it is, it's bad. Something I ought to go to the police for, before Maddie gets the chance, and puts a permanent target on her back.

Knocking him flat with that stick wasn't my biggest mistake.

It's hesitating.

I think I've bought more time. Another twenty-four hours, maybe. At least a good night's sleep to figure out what I'll say, before I skip over Principal Ross the coward, and go straight to the Seattle PD.

Trouble with assumptions is, they're worthless when they're wrong. Worse, they're fatal.

I never thought he'd strike back the very next day.

Just like I never thought he'd really skip over me, and go straight for her.

* * *

Dad isn't answering my phone calls, and I can't get his nurse on the line either. I pull through the gate and head through the service entrance, which is always unlocked this time of day.

There's nobody upstairs to greet me when I reach his room, nudge the door open, and peer through the darkness.

What I see...it's a fucking mess.

There's a puddle on the floor. It's pooling underneath his withered hand hanging limply off the bed, something sticky, thick, and red. Then I notice his IV tubes. They're detached from his arm, adding their chemical drip to the floor's mess, the only sound breaking the eerie silence.

Holy shit.

Throwing the door open, I rush in, expecting him to be colder than deli meat when I finally get my hands on his shoulders, shaking him.

Wake up, wake up, please wake the fuck up!

It can't end like this.

He's warmer than I expect. His eyelids ripple, and a second later, they're wide open, bulging from his head. “No, no – stop! Let me die, you stupid ingrate!”

“Why won't you ever give me a chance?” It comes out explosive. I'm frustrated, angry, and yeah, a little scared shitless.

He ignores me as I stand up, furiously paging his nurse with the call button. It takes me a few seconds to figure out he's ripped out the wire connecting his intercom and vitals to the house. I whip out my cell phone.

“Yeah, Esther? Get up here. He's in trouble.”

He sighs and rolls over, grunting in pain.

She's there almost instantly. I sit in the corner fuming while I watch her check his vitals. She reassures me there's no critical damage – no more than there should be for a dying man in his state. She fixes his IVs, straps everything carefully into place, and refills his morphine.

I'm trying to distract myself from the latest humiliation he's inflicted, searching the room. That's when I notice the messy stack of papers near his desk. Several have spilled over onto the floor, as if he's carefully tossed them aside. Collecting the fallen papers in my hands, I stop and stare when I see the letter head.

Stefan Turnbladt, Partner, Randolph-Emerson-Turnbladt. It's too much to resist.

My eyes scan the note frantically. It's Stefan's elegant style, all right. The phrases my eyes pick out roil my blood.

A delightful dinner with your son and the future Mrs. Randolph...

It's been so long, Thomas...

Clearly, it isn't my place to say what the nature of your relationship should be, however, he's proven himself to this firm. Time and time again, he's proven himself to me.

Finally, I hit the end, bringing a wicked smile to my face. Many on the board agree. I'm saying this as your colleague, and your friend. I can't reasonably assure we'll maintain Calvin's permanent divestment as agreed, and you have every right to know which way the wind is blowing. It's my duty as a friend and a business partner.

Please, Thomas, before it's too late. Take one last look into your heart.

“You understand now?” dad says, watching me like a lizard from the bed. I look up just in time to see Esther shut the door behind her.

Suppressing my smile, I walk over to the bed, and take the familiar chair next to him. “Understand what, exactly? Offing yourself because you're not able to hold me hostage anymore makes you want to die?”

He doesn't answer. Just stares dead ahead, through the stack of letters I've gathered neatly on his desk. “I knew the risk this would happen, boy. The world never listens to dead men very long. You're too hard working...too god damned much like him...”

He can't mean John. But who else?

Fuck.

When it hits me, I get why he's avoiding me, eyes fixed on every infinity except the confused son next to him. “Why are you still here? You read the letter, Calvin. There's two more like it from others on the board. You'll get what you've always wanted when I'm gone, one way or another. Full partner, full stake, full responsibility. Congratulations.”

It's too easy. I'm aware I should just shut up and accept the break life just handed out. It's not enough to stop the thoughts swirling violently in my head, going places I never imagined.

“I don't want it to go down like this. It's not too late to sort our crap out, to let go of bad blood.” To treat me like your son. I keep that last line to myself.

“Pretend it never happened, you mean?” He snorts, turning toward me, skin stretched so thin on his face it's like paper. “Why should I waste more of my very limited time on the same thing I've tried to do every day since you shot my life to pieces?”

“Because maybe you'll stop handing out blame, and fucking deal,” My hand grips the chair's arm. My fingers ache. I'm losing my patience. “Maybe it's not too late to see something different.”

“Something for you, yes.” It's disturbing how sharp and cruel his wit remains, imprisoned in his decaying body. “You always were a selfish little brat. I'm just sorry I didn't see it sooner, before you went to the schoolyard that day and –“

“Don't say it.” I stand, sighing between my teeth, wondering why I'm wasting my time.

“No? And here I thought you wanted to trot down memory lane, and remember why I'll go to my grave hating everything like it was yesterday. Every stupid, impulsive thing you did, Calvin. Every way you tore the heart out of this family, and put a hole through your own mother's heart.”

There's no reaching him.

He's right. If the board is leaning toward exoneration, giving me a proper stake in the firm after he's gone, I've won what I always wanted.

I don't need anything else.

Not even deathbed approval from my bitter dick of a father.

“I'm not the one who cheated on mom, chasing pussy and booze like it was water after John's death,” I remind him. “Hell, I just destroyed the biggest bad habit I got from you, dad. Threw my black book with all the skirt I've chased into the Sound. Don't need that shit anymore. I love my fiancée. Long as I've got Maddie, there's no fucking way I'll ever need to look anywhere else. Sure, we're bound to take our punches because life is never roses. I swear, I'll handle them better than you.”

His old knuckles go bone white when he presses his hands into the mattress, lifting himself up. I know the impotent fury on his face doesn't mean shit. It's the same look he's given me since he wound up in this bed, shedding weight and losing his mortal rancor, unable to project the cold-hearted tyrant he used to be.

He's lost his guilt-tripping power, too. He can't fucking stand it.

“Wait until you lose a son. Two, I should say, because the day you went out and became a murderer is the day I wrote you off forever. You've won your second chance from this world, Calvin, but you won't convince me. Never. Don't care if you get on your knees and recite sonnets to that stupid, flippant girl you frittered your life away for. Her love can't erase it. Now, get the hell out.”

I stand my ground, unable to resist baring my teeth. “Call her stupid, flippant, or any wicked word again, and it'll be the last you see of me, asshole. Forever.”

“Christ, now you tell me! If I'd known I just needed to insult your little urchin bride, I'd have done it to her face when she was here.”

It's hard as hell to turn my back, march out, and slam the door on its hinges so hard it shakes the whole floor.

There's no other choice. I have to go.

If I spent another second staring at the devilish, hateful smile on his lips, I'd lose it. And then I might do something worse than the violent mistake that nearly cost me everything.

* * *

An hour later, I'm on the balcony with the last woman who'll ever matter. Wine in her hand, scotch in mine, my second of the evening.

“Just tell me one thing, Cal,” she says, coming up behind me, wrapping her soft arms around my chest. “Was he always like this? Or did it just pick up after...you know.”

I take a long pull from my drink before I answer. “Bastard was never perfect. You remember Principal Ross? How he pretended to be a paragon of virtue, while underneath he was a power-grubbing shit who let Scourge terrorize half the school?”

She nods. “How could I forget?”

“Same kind of asshole, my dad. We were trophies. Me and my brother both. Accessories to ambition, the same as mom. John gave him his hero, his upstanding citizen prize in flesh and blood, until bro went and got himself killed.” I stare through the icy silence, the empathy in her eyes I didn't ask for. “I was his brains. He wanted me to go off to Stanford or MIT and make him proud. Put the summers of Calc, computer science, and field trips to Silicon Valley he paid for to good use. I was supposed to make RET the toughest firm on the coast, and double our billions.”

“I'm sorry,” she whispers, folding her hands tighter. With a sigh, I put my hands on hers, turn her around, and lock eyes. I love the heat in her skin, adore the sheen in her jet black hair. I'll never have enough.

“Why're we still talking about this doll? Long story short, he's been the same asshole to me in life he always was, and he'll die like one, too. What more do you want?”

“I don't know. I'm not a psychologist,” she admits, shrugging in my arms. “Still, if we could just get to the root of his blame, his hate, maybe it'd be different. Maybe we could change him, before it's too late.”

“We're too late now,” I snap. “Look, I remember what it was like when John died. He barely tolerated me hanging around the house after I came home from juvy. When the soldiers showed up on our doorstep one evening with a letter from the President, I was already lower than dogshit. Taking blame for everything. I'll never forget it. Mom locked herself away, wailing herself hoarse for the next week. She couldn't even thank anyone at the funeral for coming, too sick to talk. Wasn't more than six months later before she died in her sleep.”

“God, I can't imagine.” Maddie presses her cheek into my chest, running her hand up my neck, gingerly massaging her fingers into my skin.

“You don't have to. I don't regret anything. Not the things I did, or the bullshit tragedies out of my hands, stacked on top of each other. I'd do my part the same, if I had a chance to do it all again.” My thumb traces her jaw line, skidding across her soft skin to her temple. I wait for her to look at me. “It led me to you, doll. For better or worse, through heaven and hell, even the days when I hit the gym after work, found the nearest punching bag, and beat my hands raw. It finally makes sense. It's not in vain. This is it, everything it was always meant to be.”

I reach my other hand to hers, clasp her ring finger, and run my hand along the huge rock clutched in gold. Swear it looks more beautiful every day it's on her. Before her, I never gave two thoughts to jewelry.

Now, when I see it, it's one more slice of everything wrong turned right.

“I love you, Cal,” she whispers, folding into me, lacing her fingers through mine.

“Love you, doll. Always have, always will.” I grip them like mad while we kiss. It's a long, slow, delicious dance of the lips. The kind I could never appreciate with anybody else, not since the first one we ever had at Chelle's party. I searched for it again and again when I thought I'd lost her. No girl ever came close.

They were hollow shells. Imitations. Ghosts.

This is authentic. It's a raw, exquisite storm we've barely begun exploring. I'm impatient as ever to find its beginning and end in all the years ahead.

Impatient as fuck to feel her hand on my face, brushing her warm gold ring of forever across my stubble. And it'll look even better when she's finally my wife, when she's carrying my kid, when the finger its wrapped around is older than sin.

Her lips drift off mine, only to return with a moan. I push my tongue to hers, taking what's mine, what's made everything I've suffered worth it. We melt into each other, and I'm about to haul her over my shoulder to bed when there's a noise I can't place.

I pull my lips off hers, looking to the distant ground below, wondering if some asshole's blown a tire on the city street next to my building.

No, it's the door. Someone's knocking. Pounding like a maniac at eight o'clock on a Sunday.

“You'd better get that,” Maddie says nervously.

Whatever this is, it can't be good. She stays behind me as I head for the door, tearing it open. I never bother looking through the privacy hole. There's a better chance getting killed by a bad cup of coffee in this place than any of the well compensated security in the lobby letting anyone dangerous in.

“Spence?” I don't know why he's here, but he almost knocks me over in his rush to get in. “What the hell's happening?”

“Trouble. Cade had to fly out to New York this evening, like you know already, but he gave me this before he left.” My friend shoves a manila folder into my hand, thick with papers. “Somebody's got it out for you, Cal. They're sending a message to Anders and Long. Started fucking around ever since your engagement hit the local news.”

Shit. It hangs on my lips as I page through the bomb he's dropped on me.

They're documents sent over by the two members of the board, ever since Cade told them he'd get to the bottom of it. I see an impound notice for Mr. Long's yacht, something about the city claiming back dues on registry taxes he's always paid. The man is a boy scout, I know he'd never skimp on bills. Then the handwritten note from Mrs. Anders, describing the arson threats against her favorite church in Bavaria, the place she's supported for years with generous funds for restoration and maintenance.

“Who?” I say, wracking my brain. I'm afraid I already know the answer.

“One guess.” He stops and stares awkwardly, noticing Maddie behind us. She's listening intently from the sofa.

I'm even more pissed than before, wondering if it'll ever end. No matter how far we come, it seems my past is destined to always find us, poisoning our moments big and small.

“I'll look at it tonight. Do some homework,” I say, pressing the folder under my arm. “Are there hitmen, too, or what?”

Spence does a double-take, snorting under his breath. “You joking, Cal? Because I'm not. Neither is Cade. The asshole behind this is way too careful for that.”

Of course. And I've also decided he isn't stealing a minute more of my time with Maddie.

This hell already cost us seven years.

“I know,” I say, pounding him on the back as I lead him to the door. “Give me a chance. I'll jump on it, but not tonight. Too busy spending quality time with my woman. See you at the wedding in a couple weeks.”

“A couple weeks?!” He does a double take, grabbing my collar, pulling me into the hallway. “Holy shit. You're serious, aren't you?”

“Duh. Always was, but the time table's changed. I want us married before Labor Day, and I've got a lot of work to make that happen.”

“Cal, I...Christ. I thought this was just a game to get your old man to let his guard down, or pull the right votes on the board. You know you've won, right? You're in, future partner, long as we don't let dirty laundry from a long time ago trip up the old farts with voting rights.”

“Good luck. It's not going away unless we make it. He's waited to skewer me for years, Spence. Never got over what happened on the pavement at Maynard. He sees his chance. I'd do it, too, in his shoes. What better time to make a man's life a living hell than when it's finally worth living?”

“So you want to marry her? You're serious?” I want to wipe the disbelieving smile off his face. “Whatever, man. Congratulations I guess.”

“Fuck you. Looks like you just came from a morgue. Don't know if I ought to bother keeping you on the shortlist for best man.”

“Hey, hey, hey!” Spence slams his hand into my shoulder, digging his fingers in. We lock eyes, and the skepticism in his face melting. “Don't do anything you'll regret. It's just, a couple weeks? Fuck, that's fast. You hadn't even seen her since the ugly times up until recently, yeah?”

I nod. “Yeah. I'm doing this, Spence, and I don't need anybody's approval. She's it. The only one. She always was.”

“It's not a total shock. Hard to forget how you went after her before things got shitty. That time you hid her Euro history book in your bag, just to whip it out and look like a big hero when she was about to lose it in front of Mr. Gregorson...”

Does he have to remind me?

Obviously, I've had it bad forever for this girl. Played a dozen stupid tricks when I was just a horny, clueless little shit. Hard to believe she's mine at last. This time, without the hijinks.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, is ever taking that away.

I throw his hand off me. He stops laughing. “Save the good times for the toast at the reception, dick. Let me handle the rest. It's my wedding coming up, and I've got more incentive than anyone. Whenever you see Cade again, tell him not to worry. It'll be a load off his mind while he's on his mystery girl, whoever the fuck she is. Boy's starting to act as nuts as you, to be honest.”

We share a smile. Mine, a little more knowing. Cade's bullshit cover story, going to New York on “business,” doesn't seem half bad stacked against me knowing, beyond all reasonable doubt, that I've taken the last cherry I'll ever need to in my life.

“Fine. He'll be happy, I'm sure. But listen, before you make any moves, call us. We aren't leaving you to face this shit alone again. If we'd been there years ago, it could've been a hell of a lot different.”

“Who knows.” I'm too stuck on the future to replay the past a thousand different times. “Goodnight, Spence. Shake your ass. It's getting wet out there, and you never bring an umbrella.”

We bump fists before he turns, straightening his collar. I watch him head for the elevator, leaning on the wall.

Where the fuck would I be without my friends?

Nowhere good. A man needs his blood brothers.

“Cal?” Maddie pokes her head out the door. “What's going on? Is everything okay?”

Tightening my hold on the folder tucked under my arm, I flash her a look, creasing my brow. “Nothing you ought to worry about, doll. Remind me where we left off.”

I lead her inside with a kiss, careful to slip the folder behind me on the end table. What's in there is my problem. Not hers.

We're here together, after all these years, because I'm used to saving her. This is no different. No scheming fuckery gets to derail our wedding. Not when I've come so close to the future we're meant for, I can taste it, every time I take her lips, her tongue, press her face against me while her moans caress my ears.

We kiss, we suck, we lick until she can't help it. Love how she grinds against me. My face is on her throat, dipping into her cleavage, nipple rolled between my fingertips, when she stands up straight. “I need you,” she whispers, giving my hand a vigorous tug.

We're only a few steps toward the bedroom when I change course. Forget the bed, it won't do for the fire burning me alive.

It's dark, rainy, and beautiful outside. I think this woman, this light, could make me a king anywhere when she's under me. Can't wait to prove myself right.

“Really? Here?” She questions the lust in my eyes, but there's no stopping it. Before she makes another sound, we're outside in the pouring rain, tearing off each other's clothes.

I help guide her into the recliner under the huge canopy. Peeling her top off, I free her breasts, crushing her softness through my fingertips, grunting when I see her swollen nipples bloom between my fingers.

They beg for my mouth. I surround them with my teeth, digging raw need into her while her hand goes to my cock, stroking it harder through my boxers. We pass the next few minutes in animal rapture, alive with anticipation, with want, with a glassy, sexual silence where our hearts become one with the rain beating down around us.

It's drumming enters my blood. I've never had my cock so roused in my life.

“You're fucking soaked for me, aren't you?” It shouldn't be a question.

Her breath catches in her throat when I smooth my hand between her legs, caressing her belly, thinking how I'll make it swell when I've planted my seed in her. I'll knock this woman up, one fine day, and then I'll be whole.

My fingers dip into her panties, pull her lips apart, feeling the wild heat inside her. Fuck yes, she's wet. She's ready.

I can't wait to bury every seething inch I've got in her pink.

We collide, and she grinds harder. Her mouth pulls to mine again and again, hungrier than ever, and I counter, attacking her tongue like it's the last kiss I've been waiting for.

Maddie whimpers in my mouth. I squeeze her ass harder with my free hand, pushing my thumb into her clit. Sweeping circles bring her off.

My cock hammers me blind, deaf, and dumb when she hitches, seizing up, coming on my fingers.

Growling, I push them in deeper, fucking her legs apart while my hand finds that spot inside her, owns it, and drowns her lace in a wetness that has nothing to do with the rain splashing down around us.

“Need you, doll. Right fucking now.” It's all I'm able to get out when her high dissipates and I see her eyelids flutter open.

Then it's my hands' turn to do the talking. They lift her up, pry her panties away, and lower my boxers. She lays against me, serenading me with hot breath, while I reach for my wallet on the ground to get a condom.

“No.” Her hand covers mine, and we lock eyes. “Cal, I'm on the pill. I want you to...”

The rosy blush on her cheeks needs no words. My cock jerks hard against her pussy, oozing on the trim strip of hair she keeps.

Bare? Sweet fuck.

Having her without the latex unchains the animal heat inside me already hanging by a thread. My eyes drill into hers while I take her hips, shove her legs apart, and lower her onto my bare cock for the first time.

“Goddamn! That's it, doll. There.” The words are thunder in my throat when her heat surrounds me, drenching my cock in need.

Her whimper becomes a moan. I'm hellbent on turning the next few to screams as my hips push against hers. Rutting, working, fucking our way to a sunny calm this city's too drenched in to see engulfs us.

Maddie's cries turn shallow, shriller each time I thrust up in her. She glides against me like a piece of sky made for my rugged landscape. We tear our pleasure from the naked air, our steaming skin, every muscle in our bodies looking for fiery release.

“God, Cal!” she whimpers, right before I bring her over the edge again.

“Come for me!” I growl, grinding myself into her, the friction on my pubic bone ruling her little clit. “Come for the only cock you're meant for, woman. Only one that ever wanted to be in you, first and last you'll ever fuck . Just come, just come, just fucking come...”

Just come.

It echoes in my head, swift and relentless as the rain, picking up its tempo. It's like the sky is jealous, finding its release in the mysterious, lunatic fire arching her back and sweeping its fire in my balls.

Just come.

I can't fucking hold it. Not even for my fortune, my life, my soul. Seven years dreaming about having her bareback, hurling my seed inside her, are an unrelenting bitch when they catch up, grab me by the balls, and ignite the fuse at the base of my spine.

“Fuck, Maddie!” I'm afraid my hands hurt her when they dig into her ass, pulling her to me, fusing her like vices while the dynamite at the end of my cock explodes.

But there's only euphoria in her scream when she feels me, joining halfway through her O.

I let go, eyes rolling, shooting off in the most exquisite pussy I'll ever have.

There's fire in my spine, stars in my eyes, hot white shadows everywhere. Even the rain streaks like meteors as my eyes twitch, sockets surrounding them as electric as my spine. Every fucking bone in my body burns. There's nothing containing the furnace I've become together except the thud-thud-thud in my heart.

My cock thrusts balls deep. I unload like the speechless fuck I've become, grinding my teeth, surrendering to her greedy pussy pulling every drop from me.

I don't know how many times she comes. It's an eternity in the space of a few minutes as our bodies pulse together, slaves to the delight, the dark, and the primal.

Lucky me. I'm no stranger to darkness when it comes to this woman I want to keep forever.

I give myself over to it with a groan.

Her head rests on my shoulder when it's over. I'm still in her, holding my cock there like an animal in rut, so aroused I'm not sure I'll even lose my hardness and need my usual ninety seconds to rest before I take her again.

“Kiss me,” I order, gently pushing her face to mine. My thumb rests on her cheek, and when I see those dark eyes of hers open, they're more beautiful than the most pristine Rainier sunrise.

It's getting darker. Colder. Wet to the point where it'd chill the bone, if we hadn't been so damned busy making our own heat.

“I love you, Cal,” she whispers, before offering her lips to mine.

“Not like I love you,” I say, pressing my forehead to hers, losing my sanity for the millionth time in those soft brown eyes. I reach for her hand, find the ring she's wearing, and run my thumb over the diamond until it hurts my skin. “But you will, doll. When all this is over, and we've got our wedding bands to join this thing, you'll know my madness. We'll love so fucking hard those years apart seem like seconds. We'll go through three mattresses a year making up for what's lost.”

“I don't care,” she says, laughing, a wicked energy seizing her. “I just want you. Now and for the rest of my life.”

Her mouth turns from angel to demon on mine when we kiss.

I take it long and hard, dipping her tongue into mine until I get a moan. My cock swells to full mast. She sighs, a smile surfacing underneath her kiss as I take her sweet cunt for the second time without pulling out.

Two down. Only a thousand more times to go before I'll consider letting up, and only fucking her to sleep a couple times some nights rather than to the brink of full collapse.

* * *

Later, when I'm drifting off next to her, letting my poor balls replenish themselves, I can't stop thinking how we got here.

I don't like dwelling on tragedy. That goes double when it still won't keep sticking its teeth into our life.

Maybe that's why I dream about the day it went to hell, and exiled me from paradise for seven evil years.

* * *

We're barely at Maynard through first period when the announcement comes over the speaker.

“Ladies and gentleman, this is Principal Ross speaking. Please ensure all students are evacuated through the fire escapes in a quick and orderly fashion. We've received a threat concerning an explosive device hidden somewhere in the building. While we believe this is a bluff, police and firefighters have been dispatched. All staff should follow the usual precautions.”

“A bomb? Is he fucking serious?” Cade is the first one out of his seat. We're both slow to meld into the panicked throng of students flowing down the hall. Half look scared out of their wits. The others can't stop laughing, elbowing each other over the absurd notion anyone would want to blow this place up.

“So much for practice after school. Just our fucking luck.” Spence crashes into my shoulder, looking deflated.

“Dude, Tina's about as easy as your mom. She'll still be wet for you next week. Relax.” I wink at him, watching the fury clouding my friend's face before his fist smashes into my shoulder.

He's had his eye on the cheerleader since I brushed her off. The whole lacrosse team thinks I'm insane, dumping her before we were even official to pursue my crush on doll.

“Not half as big a slut as yours, Randolph,” Spence snarls back. “You're lucky I respect your bro too much not to make a move. Between you and the old man being gone, she's home alone all day, just begging for every inch of the Spence Special...”

My turn to get pissed. He's in a headlock when we're stumbling outside, and all three of us crash outside together, clearing a path through our peers.

Cade thinks it's hilarious. He's laughing his beard off, a scruffy mess on his face like every boy who hits eighteen and gives it his first go growing hair on the chin. Somehow, it still gets him laid.

“Holy shit, look!” Cade's laughter dies in an instant and we stop screwing around as soon as we see the scene.

It's chaos. Police, SWAT vans, more firefighters than I've ever seen in one place. A few serious looking dudes in body armor who could probably give John a contest push their way through us, rushing inside, heavy weapons swaying on their backs.

I look for Maddie when we finally reach the curb, but I can't find her. Pisses me off.

I know Principal Ross is probably right. This whole thing will turn out to be someone's sick joke, but there's always that two second doubt making me wonder what happens if it's real.

What if something explodes inside our school, and the girl I'm losing it for doesn't make it out?

Teachers herd roughly three hundred pupils by the fences like sheep dogs, doing headcounts. I bite my cheek, arms folded, waiting impatiently for Gregorson to mark me present.

If I stare hard at the building several yards away, I can see some commotion happening through the big windows by the lockers. Cops are swarming, their dogs sniffing all over the place. I see several big men pull open lockers, throwing the contents on the ground, before more guys crowd around and I'm not able to make out anything.

A few more minutes tick by. Then I see the sight that makes my heart drop into my fucking guts.

Maddie, in her yellow sweater. Being led outside in handcuffs, stuffed into one of the waiting squad cars. Too stunned to wipe the tears rolling down her cheeks, even if they let her.

It's awhile longer before Ross appears at the front of the school, waves to the teachers around him, and we're all led inside. Cade notices I'm lagging behind everybody else first. “Hey, man, where're you going?”

“Ross,” I say, going straight for the Principal's office. I don't care what Gregorson or anything else thinks about the absence. He'll probably be in too big a huff to blow through his lesson to notice.

I don't know what the fuck's happening. I just know it's horrible, it can't be what it looks like, and the only ones missing before I noticed Maddie gone were Scourge and his idiots.

It's them, trying to land a kill shot.

I have to help her.

* * *

It takes forever to find out what's going on. I hear the receptionists talking it over while I wait almost an hour to see Ross.

“Oh my God. That poor girl. She must be sick in the head!”

“She wasn't cut out for this place anyway. I saw the financials, and her family...well, let's just say her father's a dock worker. They don't even clear sixty-thousand a year combined. She's smart, but she's clearly got problems. Poor thing.”

I grip the armrests in the chair so hard they could snap. That's the kind of shit I have to listen to, trying to decipher the useful bits, everything I hear about what went down near the lockers.

They all believe it's Maddie turned Unabomber. Say it was a young woman who called in the bomb threat. Didn't take the dogs long to find a stash of fireworks in her locker big enough for several Fourth of July barbecues.

I don't know how the fuck this happened, but I'm certain who's really behind it. Just can't decide who I want to strangle more: Scourge, or whatever soulless bitch he put up to calling in the threat.

“Calvin? Let's go,” Ross sticks his head out, ushering me into his office. When we're both seated, he looks at me, fidgeting with the worn mouse pad in front of his desk. “I understand you've got some information about the threat today?”

“Yeah, you're holding the wrong girl,” I tell him, refusing to hesitate on a single word.

The rest...well, it's harder. Especially when he gives me a skeptical look, leaning in his chair, folding his arms.

It's like he knows I want to throw Scourge under the bus. We both know there's no proof, as much as we also know there's a zero percent chance he'll ever expel the bastard.

Not while Alex Palkovich Senior controls the strings to his school board election next year.

“I don't have time for games,” he warns me. “Who?”

“Me.” I watch his jaw fall while I clear my throat. First thing's first – I have to get her free. Every second she spends at the police station, scared out of her wits, is too much for my fucked up heart to handle. “It was me, Principal. A prank. A really bad one. I didn't know it'd cause this much trouble...”

“Young man, you're in very serious trouble if what you're telling me is true. You do realize I have to report to the local authorities, possibly the FBI, right?”

Nodding, I never break eye contact, not even while he rubs his eyes. He's in disbelief, and honestly, so am I. But I never think twice when I let the rest out. “I put her up to it. Recorded her reading a silly little skit we came up with for German. She never knew the real purpose. Then I made the call from the bus station down the street, played her saying the words right off my phone.”

“Jesus, Calvin. Why?”

“It's a stupid crush, sir. She wouldn't go to the dance with me a few months back. Obviously, I fucked up here and –“

“Language,” he snaps, releasing a heavy sigh before he picks up the phone on his desk. “Jesus. I need to give your mother a courtesy call. It's the least I can do before you're taken in. It's the Seattle PD you'll have to deal with next.”

“Wait, Principal. Maddie doesn't deserve this. Call the police first, and tell them to let her go. I swear, I'll confess to everything. Please.”

He twists his lips sourly, considering my request. I hold my breath until he dials, paces the room, and speaks into the receiver. “Hello, this is Harry Ross at Maynard Academy. Yes, it's about Madeline Middleton, I've come across new information suggesting she isn't the prime suspect. Yes, yes, I do have a confession...”