Prologue

Ashley

 

Six years ago….

 

“Shut that fucking kid up! All he does is cry!”

“He’s a baby. Please stop yelling. You are only making it worse! Your yelling isn’t helping at all. It’s only scaring him.”

“Then make him shut the hell up!”

“I will if you move out of my…” Whack! My face jerks to the side at the impact of his hand hitting me straight across my cheek. It stings like a bitch but I don’t dare show it. I’m not about to let him know he has gotten to me. I get right in his face because I have had enough of his shit.

“You don’t even want to be here anymore. Why don’t you just leave?”

He laughs in my face like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard. If I knew I could do any damage, I would punch him right in the face.

“You wouldn’t even be able to survive without me. You are nothing more than a no-good little bitch.”

I want to stand up to him, I want to tell him that I think I will survive just fine without him but the fear of being smacked again, forces me to keep my mouth shut and silently pray he will walk out that door. I refuse to let him bully me anymore. Tonight, is the last night he will ever touch me again. I can’t have Tristan growing up with him as a role model, and if that means I have to leave then that’s what I’ll do. I only pray he will leave instead.

“You want me gone? Ok… I’m gone. I never wanted this fucking life anyway.”

I watch him walk to our bedroom not believing for a second he will really leave. He threatens to leave literally every other day. I head into the nursery to check on my sweet baby boy. Tristan has already stopped crying and is sleeping soundly in his crib. He’s only six months old and has learned quickly how to sleep through the screaming that has been a part of his life since the day he was born. I am hoping with him being so young he won’t remember any of this. I know something needs to change but I have been with Tyler for so long that I don’t remember how to not be with him. I pick Tristan up and cradle him to my chest giving him small kisses on his forehead, breathing in his precious baby scent. “I love you little man.” I vow here and now that if Tyler doesn’t leave, I’m going to. I’m going to get away from this man and find a way to provide a safe and loving home on my own with my son.

I set him back down in his crib, cover him with his blanket, and head back out to the kitchen to make dinner. As I am crossing through the living room I see Tyler with a bag in each hand. While he threatens to leave quite often, he’s never actually packed a bag. I stop halfway into the living room, watching him stalk through the house, and then without giving a backwards glance he is out the door and slamming it shut. The sound reverberates throughout the house and I hold my breath, hoping it doesn’t wake Tristan up. After a few seconds and no sound of him crying I know it didn’t. I let out a breath of relief I didn’t know I was holding in. Could he really be gone for good?

I continue into the kitchen grabbing the chicken from the fridge and the potatoes from the counter when the phone rings.

“Hello.”

“Good evening, this is Chase Card Services calling to speak with a… Ashley Myers regarding a personal matter. Is this Ashley Myers?

“Umm… yes, it is. Can I help you?”

After confirming my name, social security number, mailing address, and best contact number he says, “We are calling today because you are ninety days behind on your credit card payment and would like to help you make payment arrangements before it gets moved into collections.”

What the heck?

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Your balance on your Chase credit card is eight thousand five hundred and fifty-three dollars, and according to our records you haven’t made a payment in over ninety days. Before we send it to collections, we are asking if you would like to work out a payment plan.”

Holy fucking shit! The hair on the back of my neck rises and chills go down my spine. This can’t be happening.

“I need to call you back.”

“Ma’am…”

I don’t even listen to what he’s saying. I hang up and run into my bedroom to the desk where all the bills are kept. I pull all my credit cards and bills out of the file Tyler keeps them all in and start calling the numbers on the back of each card.

Reached its limit.

Payment overdue.

Maxed out.

Ninety days behind on the phone bill.

Thirty days behind on the electric bill.

Two payments behind on the mortgage!

WHAT. THE. FUCK!!!

I drop the cards and papers on top of the desk and stare at the beige wall in front of me having no idea where to go from here. I trusted him. Sure, it wasn’t always rainbows and sunshine but I fucking trusted him. While I have been busting my ass to make the money to pay the bills, he’s been gambling with my money instead of paying them. I always knew he had issues with gambling but he had promised he would stop. Not only did he not stop, he used all our money and savings to do it.

I hear a noise coming from the nursery and will myself to shake off the tears that I feel prickling in my eyes before I go to get my little man. I look down into his crib; he’s lying on his back crying, ready for some dinner.

“Come here little man.” He immediately stops crying, smiling up at me while his arms reach up and his little legs stretch out as he kicks excitedly for me to pick him up.

“I don’t know how but mommy is going to handle this baby boy.” I look at my sweet baby and know it’s up to me to make sure something changes. I can’t just sit back and wait for Tyler to return.

After throwing the chicken back in the fridge, I grab my car keys and diaper bag. With Tristan in tow, I purchase new locks for the house. Once we get home, I install the locks then grab everything that belongs to Tyler and put it all by the road for the garbage men to pick up.

The only way that motherfucker is getting back inside my house again is over my dead body.