Kaden
These last few months with Ashley and Tristan have been nothing short of amazing. The moment I pushed the guilt of my past away and accepted what I already knew, that I am in love with Ashley, everything seemed to just click into place. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about Gabrielle and our son, but I have learned that I can love and remember them and still be happy. I have also learned my girl has the biggest heart I have ever seen.
I came home one day to find Ashley cleaning out the room I use for storage. We discussed turning it into a playroom for Tristan, and using the guestroom for a future nursery. She was staring down at something in her hands and was crying softly…
“Ash, you ok?” She turns around, her eyes growing wide.
“Yes, I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry for? What’s wrong?”
She holds out a picture frame for me to take. I take it from her and study it for a minute, the memory of the day it was taken. It was at the baby shower Gabby’s sister threw for us. We were holding up a onsie that read, “Daddy’s little fighter.” We are both smiling happily in the picture. I place the photo back into the box Ashley took it out of.
“I feel so guilty,” Ashley says. She blinks a couple times to let the tears spill out. Reaching over to her cheeks, I wipe them away. She swallows thickly and continues.
“I feel like I was meant to meet you, like you were supposed to be in my life, be my husband. But then I see these pictures and I remember, in order for you to have met me, you had to lose your wife and son, and I hate that. I hate that you had to go through that.
“Thinking that if she and your son were alive, we would never have met and fallen in love makes me so sad, but if I could snap my fingers and bring them back to life for you, I would…” Tears stream down her face and I just want to kiss them all away. So, I do.
Taking her by her waist, I kiss each of her cheeks, tasting the saltiness of her tears. “And I love you for that, baby. I love your heart. But we can’t think like that. You are the one that reminded me, we can’t live in the past.”
Taking a different photo out, one of a 4D sonogram of Gabe, she says, “I think we should frame it, and put it in your office. You shouldn’t keep it hidden. You may not have gotten to raise him, but he was your son, Kaden.”
I get choked up by her words so I just nod. Then after swallowing the lump in my throat, I say, “That would be nice.”
The next day when I got home from work, when I sat down at my desk in my office to go over my schedule for the following week, right there on my desk, was a simple silver picture frame and inside of it was the 4D ultrasound picture. Ashley will never understand what that simple gesture means to me, or maybe she does, and that’s why she did it. I am definitely one lucky bastard to have her in my life.
“Hello… Kaden are you spacing out?” I look at Ashley waving her hands in front of my face. She is the most captivating woman in the world and I can’t wait to make her my wife.
“Sorry, just thinking about how much I love you.” I give her a chaste kiss before getting up to grab the bags we brought on board.
“You ready for this tournament, bud?” I ask Tristan.
“Yeah, but do you think we could go to the gym at the hotel and practice? I’m kind of nervous.”
“Can I go, too?” Bella chimes in.
“Yeah, I want to practice, too,” Marco adds.
“Absolutely. And tomorrow we can get there early so you can warm up and practice.”
After we all file out of the plane, we pick up our rental cars and head to the hotel.
“Kaden,” Tristan says on our way to find the hotel gym.
“Yeah, buddy?”
“Tomorrow, at the tournament, will you stand ringside when I’m fighting.”
“Of course! Just call me your personal trainer.” I give him a wink.
“Umm… do you think when you and my mom get married you could be my dad and my trainer?”
My breath feels like it’s been knocked out of me. “You want me to be your dad?”
“Yeah.”
“I would be honored to be your dad, Tristan.”
He runs the short distance to me and gives me a hug around my waist. Bending down I give him a kiss on top of his head. I would never wish Gabrielle or Gabe harm, and I know without a doubt if they were alive, I never would have met Ashley or Tristan, but in this moment, I feel like the tragedy that was out of my control brought the blessing in front of me. Tristan may have a shitty father, but I vow to do everything in my power to make sure he never lacks the dad he deserves.
It’s Saturday morning and we are at the Newbreed tournament. The place is filled with hundreds of people. The competitors ages range from six years old to adult, and there are gi and no-gi competitions. Boys and girls under twelve fight each other. Because of the age range, even though Tristan recently celebrated his seventh birthday, there’s a good chance him and Bella will still be fighting each other. Marco will be competing in the teen competition with the twelve and thirteen-year-olds. All three of them are signed up for the gi and no-gi tournaments, so it will be a long day if any of them win their fights.
“Check out the schedule.” Cooper hands me the lineup. Sure enough, if Tristan and Bella both win their first fight, they will be fighting each other in the following round.
“You know Bella is going to kick Tristan’s ass, right?”
“Hey, now. Tristan and I were sparring last night and he’s gotten good.”
“No, not because he isn’t good. Because there’s no way he will hurt Bella.”
I chuckle at that. Cooper has a point. While Tristan loves fighting, if it’s possible for a seven-year-old to be in love, then Tristan is most definitely in love with Bella. They might be young but their friendship goes deep.
“You never know… he takes fighting seriously.”
“We’ll see.”
I find Tristan waiting outside the makeshift ring he’s going to be fighting in. He’s watching the two kids go at it with complete rapture, pointing out the strengths and weaknesses he observes in each fighter knowing whoever wins could eventually be his opponent. The kid in the red shorts grapples the other kid to the ground and quickly moves him into a positon forcing him to submit. The kid taps out.
“You ready?” I ask Tristan. Unlike in class, where we focus on all types of MMA skills, Newbreed Tournaments focus on skills and submission. It’s a grappling only competition, which means there’s no striking of any kind allowed.
Tristan puts his mouth guard in and nods his head, yes.
“You got this, buddy.” He walks to the middle of the mat, and after the referee quickly reminds them of the rules, Tristan and his opponent shake hands to begin the fight. I see Ashley on the other side, gnawing on her bottom lip, clapping nervously.
Immediately, the other kid dives down grabbing Tristan’s legs bringing them both down. Tristan uses this opportunity to wrap his legs around his opponent’s waist, and his arms go into a head lock. His opponent pushes up several times and breaks free.
Before he can get on top, though, Tristan moves back on top of him and forces him into an arm bar triangle. The kid taps out. The entire fight couldn’t have lasted more than a minute.
“Yeah, Tristan!” I yell clapping. He smiles at me, then at his mom. The referee holds both their hands, then raises Tristan’s hand up in the air announcing him the winner.
“Good job, Tristan!”
“Way to go!”
Everyone in our group mauls him, quickly congratulating him. Tristan thanks everyone then goes in search for someone. “Where’s Bella?” Tristan asks. “Did she see?”
“I saw you, Tristan! You did so good!” Bella gives him a hug. “I won, too! My dad said that means we will be fighting each other!” Bella looks ecstatic while Tristan looks like someone just broke his PlayStation.
“I’m fighting you?”
“Yep! After Marco’s fight!”
“Great.” Tristan sounds like it is anything other than great, though. Cooper catches my gaze and smirking gives me a knowing wink.
“Tristan, come here, bud. We need to talk.” Cooper hears me and starts laughing.
“Yeah?”
“Let’s talk while we walk over to where Marco is about to compete.” Ashley eyes me warily so I give her a quick wink. She walks over to Hayley, taking Mackenzie out of her arms to hold her. The baby looks like she belongs in Ashley’s arms. I can’t wait until my fiancée is knocked up.
Slinging my arm around Tristan’s shoulder I ask him how he feels about fighting Bella.
“I want to win, but…”
“But?”
“I hate hurting her. Whenever we are in class, I always let her win. I don’t want her to be sad if I beat her.”
“Tristan, I can’t tell you what to do, but if I were Bella, I would want to win fair, not because you let me win.”
“But what if she stops talking to me?”
“If Bella is your friend, she won’t stop talking to you for winning.”
“What if I hurt her?”
“Did you hurt the kid you just fought?”
“No, but Bella is a girl.”
“Tristan, my man, don’t let a woman hear you say that… especially Bella. When you are fighting here and in class, there’s no boys and girls. It’s just fighters, and you and Bella are both the same color belt. You are both equal.”
“Ok.”
We stop in front of the ring just in time to see Marco’s fight begin. This past year the kid has grown a few inches and is starting to gain a little bit of muscle. After about three minutes and a close fight, Marco’s opponent forces him into submission. After the referee announces the winner, Marco stalks off pissed.
“I’ll go talk to him,” Caleb says running after Marco.
The rest of us stay here waiting for the next fight to be announced, which will be Bella and Tristan. I see Cooper talking to Bella but can’t hear what he’s saying. Her hands are on her hips and her head is tilted in defiance. Whatever he is saying, little Bella isn’t liking.
The referee stands in the middle of the ring and Bella and Tristan’s numbers are called. They both go to the center, and wait for the ref to finish replaying the rules before they shake hands. Cooper is standing on one side and I am standing on the other, both watching to see what will happen.
After a couple minutes of grappling, it’s clear Tristan is giving it his all. He’s on top until Bella pushes him off. Bella, then, gets the upper hand, her legs locking around Tristan’s upper body with his arm locked above her legs. Tristan tries to buck her off and successfully gets her on her back, but she twists her body so his arm gets pulled back farther and he has no choice but to tap out.
The referee announces Bella the winner raising her hand into the air and once he let’s go she runs to Tristan giving him a hug. “You almost beat me!”
“You did good, Bella.”
“Thank you.”
The day goes by quickly. Bella fights three more rounds and wins them all, making her the no-gi champ. The gi-on tournament goes by quickly. All three of them win their first and second round, but only Bella wins the third, so her and Tristan won’t be fighting each other. She wins the fourth and fifth round, and she is officially the gi and no-gi champ for the kid’s six and seven-year-old division.
“How does it feel to be a two-time champion?” I ask Bella at dinner. We are all eating out at a local Hibachi restaurant. I hold the spring roll I am about to eat up to her mouth, making it a fake microphone.
“It feels good! I think I am going to one day become a UFC women’s division champion, and then I will start a petition to change the rules so I can beat all the boys, too.” Everyone laughs.
“How do you know what a petition is?”
“Mommy told me what it is.”
“So, I have to ask. Before your fight with Tristan, your dad was talking to you, and you looked mad. What did he say?”
“He told me not to be mad at Tristan if he beat me. I told him he is crazy! Tristan is my best friend. I could never be mad at him. That’s just stupid.”
Cooper looks over at me and smiles knowingly nodding. We have some damn good kids.
“Hey dad!” Tristan calls across the table. “Tomorrow at Disney, can we go on all the rides?”
Ashley gasps. “He called you dad?”
I lean into and whisper, “He asked me last night if I would be his dad. You were in the bath when we got back to the room and then it completely slipped my mind.”
She looks at me with unshed tears in her eyes, then rubs her nose trying to stop herself from crying.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too, babe.” I give her a kiss on her cheek.
“We can go on all the rides. We may have to stand in line for hours at a time but we can go on anything you want.”
“Yes!” Tristan fist pumps. “You hear that, Bella? All the rides!”