Sandy

Cholo, Lex, and Tank had just left, leaving P-Nut, Eddie, Smokey and me at standing in the living room looking at a stack of cardboard boxes. I’d minimized my belongings to personal effects and a few pieces of furniture that Smokey and I agreed would be well-suited for his home.

Correction.

Our home.

“Relax.” Smokey waved his arm toward the couch. “Nut and I will get those boxes taken to the bedroom.”

“I can get them, they’re mine. And, they’re not heavy.”

“Gotta respect a bitch that’ll carry her own boxes,” P-Nut said.

Bitch?

“She ain’t picking up shit, she’s pregnant. Smokey glared at him. “An, you need to watch it, Nut.”

“Watch what? The compliments?”

“Calling her a bitch.”

Thank you.

P-Nut shrugged one shoulder. “Didn’t call her a bitch.”

“You said, gotta respect a bitch that’ll carry her own boxes.”

“Yep, sure did.”

“And, I’m saying you need to watch it.”

“Big difference between saying what I said and calling someone a bitch.”

Eager to hear his explanation, my head swiveled back and forth between P-Nut and Smokey.

Smokey put his hands on his hips and sighed. “You just called her a bitch.”

“Listen carefully,” P-Nut said. “Gotta respect a bitch that’ll carry her own boxes. That, my friend, is giving a bitch much needed respect. Hey, bitch, get away from my bike. That, my friend, is calling a bitch a bitch.”

Smokey narrowed his eyes and stared back at him. “I don’t see the difference.”

Eddie glanced at me, grinned, and rolled her eyes.

I smiled back at her, then flopped down on the loveseat and waited for the conclusion of the argument.

P-Nut shook his head and then turned toward the kitchen. “You’re simple-minded, that’s why you ain’t seein’ it, Smoke. The difference is there.”

“Where you going?” I asked.

He glanced over his shoulder. “Gettin’ a beer.”

Smokey cleared his throat. “I’m not done with this.”

“Nothing more to talk about,” P-Nut said. “No harm no foul.”

While P-Nut got a beer from the fridge, Smokey turned toward me. “Do you like being called a bitch?”

I shrugged. “I don’t…it…I…” I widened my eyes and grinned falsely. “It’s…I’m okay. It wasn’t a big deal.”

His lips thinned and he glanced down at the floor. After exhaling through his nose, he looked up. “Do. You. Like. Being. Called. A. Bitch?”

Oh, wow.

I shook my head. “No.”

Smokey turned toward the kitchen and tilted his head back. “You offended her, Nut.”

“Sorry, Sandy.”

“Bullshit,” Smokey said. “Come in here and say it. Doesn’t count if you’re not looking at her. Apology from the kitchen while you’re sipping a beer doesn’t count.”

“Who the fuck makes up these rules?” P-Nut complained.

“No cussing in the house, P-Nut,” Eddie hissed.

I felt like I’d joined the circus. As the sound of someone chugging beer came closer and closer, I glanced over my shoulder.

“Didn’t mean to offend you,” P-Nut said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “But I wasn’t calling you a bitch in the bitch context, I was calling you a bitch in the affectionate context. Like when people say, that’s my bitch. Or, you’re my bitch. In the right context, anything can be said.”

“That’s okay, it makes sense now that you’ve explained it.”

He tilted his bottle of beer toward Smokey. “I knew you’d understand. He’s hard-headed, and he gets mad really easy about dumb shi--” He paused and looked at Eddie. “Dumb stuff.”

“I’m standing right here, Nut. I can hear you.”

“It was all true, Smoke. You’re a hot-head. I’d say it to your face. Hell, I just did.”

Smokey waved his hand toward P-Nut and then sat down in the chair in the corner of the room. He looked at Eddie.

Dressed in cut-off jean shorts, Chucks, and a burnout tee, she looked adorable.

“When’s Dick get here?” Smokey asked.

Eddie glared at him and let out an exhaustive sigh. “Richard.”

He kicked his feet onto the ottoman. “When?”

She shoved her hands in the pockets of her shorts. “7:00-ish.”

“Tonight’s the night?” P-Nut asked.

Smokey nodded. “First potential date.”

“Oh, wow.” I looked at Eddie. “Tonight?”

She grinned and nodded. “He’s got to come talk to dad first.”

“That’s exciting,” I said.

She wrinkled her nose. “Not really.”

“Want some help with your makeup or anything?”

She smiled. “Sure.”

“I wouldn’t go too far,” Smokey said. “They might not be going anywhere.”

“Dad!”

“If he’s a shit-head, he’s not taking you out of this house.”

“He’s not.”

“According to you.”

“He’s on the honor roll.”

“Nerds can be shit-heads,” Smokey said with a laugh.

“You’re impossible,” Eddie huffed.

“I’m a realist.”

“Can I stay?” P-Nut asked. “Just to watch.”

“Sure,” Smokey said.

“No,” Eddie blurted at the same time.

P-Nut flopped down on the couch. “Sorry, Ed.”

“You guys better be nice to him.”

“I’m always nice,” P-Nut said. “Your dad’s the hot-head.”

“Depends on which context you’re talking about,” Smokey said, his tone thick with sarcasm.

I glanced at the clock.

5:30.

I looked at Eddie and then stood. “Want to start getting ready?”

“What about these boxes?” P-Nut asked jokingly.

I looked at Smokey, winked, and then turned toward P-Nut. “Gotta respect a bitch like me who’ll make a prick like you carry her boxes to the bedroom.”

He sat up and blinked a few times. “Did you just call me a prick?”

I nodded. “Not a prick, prick. But a prick in the not so much a prick sense. I meant prick in an affectionate way. You know, anything can be said if it’s done in the right context.”

“One point for Sandy, zero for the Nut,” Smokey said.

As I walked toward Eddie, she turned away from the men.

“He keeps track of everything,” she whispered as I stepped to her side. “And he forgets nothing.”

“I’ll remember that,” I said.

“We’re going to have to be conservative on the makeup,” she said as we walked into her bedroom. “Or dad will flip out.”

“I know a few tricks.”

“I wish I knew a trick to make him let me go out with Richard. I’m afraid he’s going to be a jerk.”

“Maybe he’ll surprise you.”

“I doubt it,” she said.

I on the other hand, reserved hope.

Because so far, Smokey had surprised the shit out of me.