Cholo

I felt like I was walking into an ambush. I came over the hill and glanced toward the house. As always, Alexandra was standing on the porch with her hands in her pockets, facing in my direction. I twisted the throttle back and sped toward the driveway fighting not to show up wearing an ear-to-ear grin.

I hung my helmet on the handlebars and pulled my cap from between my legs. After tugging it down on my head, I stepped off the bike and brushed the wrinkles from my jeans.

Halfway to the porch she met me with a kiss.

I’d never enjoyed kissing women. Although I had kissed them, it was primarily something I either did while drunk, or immediately prior to their departure after a weekend fling. There had never been any meaning behind the kisses, and certainly no feelings attached with them.

Kissing Alexandra was different. I fully understood, even after the first kiss, how powerful a kiss could be. The emotion that rushed through me when we kissed was reason enough to do it again, and again.

As our lips parted, I wondered if she felt the same emotion.

I glanced toward the front door and noticed it was pulled closed. I looked at her. “Is she here?”

She nodded. “She’s inside.”

“Do uhhm. When we…when we kiss,” I stammered. “Does it make you feel rubber-legged?”

She dragged her fingers through her hair, pinning it behind her ears. Her head tilted to the side. “Rubber-legged?”

Her hair looked good behind her ears, but I tried not to stare. I looked down at the tips of my shoes. “Yeah.”

“You’re cute.”

I looked up. “I’ll take that as a no.”

She shoved her hands back into the pockets of her shorts and twisted her hips back and forth. I grinned at her nervous behavior as I continued to watch her with eager eyes.

“It makes me feel wonderful,” she said. “My knees quiver and goosebumps come up on my arms.”

“Good. I was hoping I wasn’t alone.”

“You’ve never felt…are you not a big kisser?” she asked.

“Never have been, no. I like it, though. I mean, with you. It’s pretty cool.”

“Pretty cool? Yeah.” She chuckled. “You’re cute.”

I shrugged.

She held out her hand. “C’mon. Let’s go get this over with.”

I followed her into the living room and sat down on the couch beside her. Since we had dinner together, it seemed that she was much more comfortable being in my presence. Seeing her comfort allowed me to relax a little, but everything was still new to me, leaving me feeling inexperienced and awkward.

With her, every day was like the day that preceded a big fight, the day before Christmas, or the day before a big family gathering.

I was apprehensive and excited at the same time.

I liked it.

“Nobody laugh,” her mother said as she walked into the room. Still angry about her visit to the clubhouse, I looked in her direction with a tight jaw and my fists clenched.

Carrying a platter of cookies, she stepped in front of us. “Fresh baked. Have a few.”

“Is that what you’ve been doing?” Alexandra asked. “Cookies? Really? Are we twelve?”

“You like my cookies,” Lucy said.

Alexandra rolled her eyes and reached for the platter. Upon seeing the cookies, her eyes widened. “Ooh. Macadamia nut and white chocolate. Okay. I’m twelve again.”

She grabbed three cookies and placed two of them on her bare leg. While nibbling the one she held, she motioned toward the platter.

“Seriously. They’re awesome.”

My mother made cookies infrequently when we were kids. When she did, my sister and I would devour them in no time.

I followed Alexandra’s lead and grabbed three cookies. “Thank you.”

She set the platter on the coffee table, grabbed a cookie, and sat down in the chair across from us.

I bit into one of the cookies.

Holy shit.

I had to commend her on her decision to bake cookies and propose them for a peace offering. They were that good.

Alexandra looked at me. “Good, huh?”

Almost done with the second cookie, I nodded. “Uh huh.”

“There’s no sense in rehashing what I said this morning,” her mother said. “But there are some things I want to say.”

I poked the rest of the cookie into my mouth, looked at her, and nodded. “Okay,” I said over a mouthful of cookie.

“I reacted like any mother would react. I was protecting my daughter, or so I thought. I realize now that there’s nothing I need to protect her from.” She looked at me. “Is there?”

“Mother!” Alexandra hissed.

I wiped my hands on the thighs of my jeans, and then set the last cookie down on Alexandra’s leg beside the other.

“I’m not going to hurt your daughter,” I said.

Her eyebrows raised. “That’s reassuring,” she said in a sarcastic tone. “What else would you say?”

“Mother,” Alexandra snapped. “You said you were going to apologize.”

She shrugged. “I did.”

Alexandra glared. “You haven’t.”

I reached for my cookie, took a bite, and began my half-assed explanation of how I felt.

“Listen. I can see your reluctance to accept a 31-year-old biker as a good match for your 21-year-old daughter. I’ve never been in a relationship, because I’ve never wanted to be in a relationship, so I can’t give you any kind of statistics on how well I’ve done in the past, or how good I am at doing this.”

I took another bite of the cookie. “I have no idea what I’m doing, but I know this: I took the time to consider how I felt about her, and whether it was based on anything but pure intentions or not. After a lot of thinking, a lot of being honest with myself, and some talking with the other fellas who are in relationships, I decided to tell Alexandra how I feel.”

I poked the last bite of cookie into my mouth.

Lucy leaned forward. “Have you ever hurt a woman?”

She wasn’t going to like my answer, I was sure of it.

“I’m sure I’ve hurt a lot of them, yeah. Like I said, I’ve never been in a relationship. That doesn’t mean I’ve never had sex. So, for me to sit here and tell you that I had sex with some chick, and then told her I never wanted to see her again – and that she went home happy – would be some pretty wishful thinking on my part.”

“You’re a player,” she said.

“A what?”

“Player.” She folded her hands together and leaned forward. “Someone who plays games with girl’s heads to get them to have sex with them.”

“Listen. I’m not perfect. Hell, we’ve all made mistakes, you included,” I said. “But what I’ve done in the past doesn’t define me as a person.”

“It sure does,” she said.

“No, it doesn’t.”

Both eyebrows went up. “What does?”

I clenched my fist and pressed it to my chest. “What I feel right here.”

“Good answer,” Alexandra whispered.

“And this is a new feeling?” Lucy asked. “Something you’ve never experienced?”

“It’s new, yeah. And don’t even ask me to explain it.”

She stood, walked to the coffee table, and picked up two cookies. After she sat down, she took a bite, and then studied me as she chewed.

She finished the first cookie without speaking, and then started on the second. I felt like I was on trial, waiting on the jury to decide what the verdict was. After exchanging a few looks with Alexandra, I reached for the coffee table and grabbed two cookies.

I handed Alexandra one.

Lucy let out a sigh, alternated glances between Alexandra and me, and fixed her eyes on mine. “Don’t you dare hurt her.”

“I won’t.”

She stood up and crossed her arms. “I’m sorry for how I acted this morning. I’m anxious to see where this ends up.”

“That makes two of us,” I said.

“No,” Alexandra said. “Three.”