6 and a half years later

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IT WAS GUILT THAT LED to her downfall. Good old-fashioned parental guilt. She had no way of knowing that the one time she gave in to the loneliness and went home, that he would be there.  Cole hadn't been to the La Barron Ranch, or even as far as she knew the state of Texas, in over half a decade, and she finally felt like it was safe to return home for a short visit.

Ev had been gone for weeks, and she just couldn't hack it by herself anymore. She had always known that at some point, he would no longer serve as her buffer, but she had assumed that there would be a chance for her to prepare for that eventuality. She couldn't have known that he was going to get a call out of nowhere and pull up stakes. He hadn't even taken the time to tell her he was leaving, just packed up and hit the road. She had gotten a text from him that he was headed back home and would give her a call soon. That was it. And she reeled. He had become her companion. There were the occasional hookups for him, and there had been a girlfriend or two along the way, but they never stuck, and before long, it was back to the two of them, beating a dusty trail and drinking together before going their separate ways. Never so much as a brush of lips happened between them, and she never took another man. She just couldn't. Now, he was gone, and she had nothing to keep her away from home. So, when her mother started the guilt trip and told her that her father had taken a spill from a horse and needed someone to fill in for him for a few days to move the cattle while he was out of commission, and Devon was still out of the country, Courtney could no longer put her off.

She was surprised that after being away for over eight years, walking back into her mama's kitchen, she still felt like it was home. She fell right back into her childhood routines and filled in for her daddy, taking care of the livestock, riding fence lines, and moving the cattle to the winter pasture. It was second nature, and being home was good for her rather than torturous, as she had feared with the memories of her and Cole. She was sitting at the dining room table, watching her parents play Blackjack and drinking a beer when her mom rocked her world, and by doing so changed the path of her future.

"Court, I've been hesitant to bring it up, but you know I still have that ring. I held on to it because neither of you ever came back home, but I'm thinking that now it's only right that you take it back over to the La Barron place. I can't in good faith keep hold of it when you're here and can take it over there and leave it. That boy may not come back, but leastways Clinton will see to it that it's returned to him at some point."

Courtney could swear that her stomach lurched up into her throat as her parents nonchalantly continued to play cards. Like bringing that up wasn't intentional. Like it wouldn't tear open scars that had never fully healed. Wounds so brutally carved into her soul that she had changed in a way that completely veered off the path she had always seen for herself. It was her daddy who broke the spell, and he did so by saying ever so gently, "Breathe, Firecracker."

On that reminder, Courtney gulped in air and then tipped the bottle up to her mouth to swallow the last of her beer in one gulp. Her mom started to speak, "Court, I—"

Courtney cut her mom off and said, "No, Mama, you're right. If you get it for me in the morning, then as soon as I finish up, I will run it over there. If you get me an envelope, I’ll put it in there. I need to return the house key anyways. There's no point in me having either anymore. The man has another wife and has for years now, so it's ridiculous to hang on to this stuff."

"Court—" her mom tried again, but she couldn't hack it, so getting up, she cut her mom off again.

"It's ok, Mama. I'm gonna go on up to bed and get some rest. I love you both." After dropping her empty beer bottle in the garbage, she walked back past her parents and dropped kisses to each of their heads on her way to bed. She lay in bed for hours, unable to sleep. Nothing had changed. She had put a block on all things Cole until her mom had brought it up, but it was undeniable that she had known that coming home would lead to a come-to-Jesus moment. On a groan, she got out of bed, grabbed her cell, and called the only person she could right then.

"Yeah?"

"Ev?"

"Hey, Court, what's up?"

"I just, well, I'm losing it and wanted to talk to you and maybe not go crazy. Mom dropped it on me that she still has my engagement ring, and I remembered that I have a house key. And this is the first time I've been home in years, and my best friend is off gallivanting after his ex. I need you, Ev. Can you come down? Just for a day?"

"Court, shit’s bad here for Peach. I can't take off yet. Give me a week or two, and I will carve out the time to come down for a day or two, yeah?"

"I hate that she still has her hooks in you just as much as he has his in me, and neither is even worth it."

Ev groaned, "Court—"

"No, sorry. I know. Don't say anything bad about the love of your life. Sorry. It just sucks."

"It's—"

"Not like that, I know. Sorry, handsome. I'm on edge. I didn't mean it. How's home?"

"It's good. We're working through things. Are you ok? You want me to call Dev?"

"No, he's going to be heading in this weekend anyway. We're going to have a get-together before I take off again."

"I hear you. Look, Court, I gotta go, but think about something? Maybe it’s time to put down some roots? Rather it’s there or somewhere else. We can't keep running the way we have all these years. I'm learning the hard way that running wasn't the best idea. I should have come home a long time ago. Eight years is a long time to avoid the past, darlin'."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. One day at a time is all I have in me right now, though. Any more than that, and I feel like I'm about to hyperventilate."

"Just take it easy. Take that stuff down to their place and slide it under the door or something, and then go back home and give me a call if you need anything. For now, though, put that shit out of your head and get some shut-eye."

"Aye-aye, captain. Thanks, Ev. I don't know what I would do without you."

"No worries, darlin', just chill. It'll be alright. Talk to you later, yeah?"

"Yeah."

She held the phone in her hand after the call disconnected and tried to slow breathe to calm her racing heart. Part of her was tempted to pack her bag and run right then, but she couldn't. She owed her parents and herself. She needed to face this head on if she ever wanted to move forward. When she could stand her own company no more, she went to the end of her bed, where she had left her flip flops, and slid them on before leaving her room and walking to her parents' kitchen. If nothing else, she could pour herself a glass of milk and watch television until sleep found her. She turned the corner and found her dad sitting at the table, two glasses of milk already poured.

"It was weighing on my mind, the look on your face when your mama brought that boy up, and I knew my firecracker would find her way downstairs at some point. I'm pleased that even though you've been gone from home for years, I still know you."

That was the moment when she teared up. "Oh, Daddy." She rushed to the man who had always been her hero, and he stood up when she got close and pulled her into his arms. He sat back down and pulled her into his lap the way he had when she was a child. "I'm sorry. It's just so much. I should be over this by now."

Her dad let her cry for several moments before he gently kissed her brow and pulled away from her slightly. "Firecracker, I never should have let this go on for so long. Both of you heartbroken, neither coming home for fear of seeing the other. I'm going to tell you what I know, and what you do with that information is up to you, but I can't keep it from you anymore."

Wiping her face, Courtney stood up and walked to the counter to grab a paper towel to clean her face. "I'm not sure I want to know."

There was a tension in the air after those words left her mouth that she wasn't used to in her father’s company. She turned around to see that he was looking at her in a peculiar way. "Courtney, if you don't want to know, then you aren't the woman your mother and I raised you to be, because that is not the way a woman would act when the man she loved was forced into a difficult situation. And we both know that the only way Cole La Barron would have betrayed your trust was if it were life or death."

The color left Courtney’s face. The blood left her body, or at least that's what it felt like to her in that moment. "What?" she gasped.

"I don't know all of the details, and I know that your mother, brother, Clint, and I have all made it worse by trying to protect you from the truth, but his marriage was no love match. He was forced to marry her as part of an operation. To my understanding, the pregnancy came after she followed him home. Now, I'm not saying he isn't blameless, because had he kept it together, he could have finished his mission and explained everything to you himself, but I am saying that there were extenuating circumstances in the beginning."

"Extenuating circumstances? I-I've got to go to bed. I can't. I need to think." She raced from the room, never touching her milk, and slammed the door to her room shut in a panic. Her mind was a raging whirlwind. She slid down the wall and wrapped her arms around herself, trying to process everything her father had said, and dozed off in that position.

When she woke several hours later, it was already well past daylight and well past time for her to do her chores. Even though fall was creeping into winter, Texas had yet to get the memo, and it was a warm, sunny day. She knew there was a cold front in the forecast for that day, which meant rain and cooling weather, but for the time being, shorts and boots would be appropriate to muck stalls and gather eggs, so she washed her face, got dressed, and grabbed the key to the La Barron Ranch house before rushing downstairs. Her mom was standing in the kitchen when she skidded to a halt in the doorway. "Court, slow your roll. Your daddy is up and getting the chores done. He's feeling better, and he's feeling a bit guilty for laying so much on you last night in a not nice way."

"Mama, that's not cool. If he's not feeling well, I can take care of things."

"Court, let your dad do this. He needs to work through his own emotions right now, too, darling girl. He's hurting for you, and he's lost on how to navigate this situation without losing his only daughter."

Courtney stiffened where she had leaned against the doorjamb. "That's just ridiculous. Why on earth would he lose me? Besides, aren't you the one I'm supposed to be upset with?"

Her mama started to laugh and walked her way, pausing in front of her to rest a hand on her cheek. "Baby, you feel your emotions strongly, and you lead with them, but you're logical and you know neither of us meant any harm, so I figured you were over it. But your dad has felt it pretty hard not having you here when he was certain that you would always be his shadow, so now he's worried you're gonna take off again today and he will lose you for another eight years."

"Are you saying you didn't miss me?" Courtney asked with a laugh.

"Nope, I've missed you every single day you've been away, but you are your mother’s daughter. I knew you would need to stretch your wings before you could settle. If your dad had taken the time to remember how hard he had to chase me, he would have known that it wouldn't be that easy either. Now, then, you have an unpleasant chore to take care of this morning, and weather is coming in. Looks like it’s going to be sooner rather than later, so you need to grab a bite to eat and get the unpleasantness out of the way."

"Oh, Mom, nothing like your no-nonsense go-get-em attitude."

"Well, have a seat and at least eat a biscuit while I go get the ring and an envelope."

Great. The ring.

Courtney took a bite of the biscuit and swallowed, but it felt like lead in her stomach, so she tossed the rest in the trash, sacrilege in her mothers' kitchen but unavoidable now that her mind was on her task at hand. She heard her mom coming back into the room as she heard the wind outside start to pick up and saw the clouds were darkening.

I mean, could the weather be any more perfect for the situation?

She sat back down at the table and was focused on deep breathing to stay calm while her mom made her way toward her. She set the ring on the table in front of Courtney, and she could swear that she felt her heart rip even further. There it was in all its glory. All the hopes and dreams she had held close to her heart, yet now it was just a gold band with a solitaire diamond. Hesitantly, she reached just one finger out to touch it, prepared to jerk back, almost as if she expected it to shock her. She gently touched it and then pulled her hand back and reached into her pocket, pulling out the key to hand to her mother. "Can you put them both in the envelope? I'll go grab my keys and take them over now."

She didn't look back on her way to grab her keys, and she was thankful when she came back that her mom had put them in the envelope and sealed it, writing Cole's name in her scrawling handwriting. Courtney stopped to kiss her mom’s cheek and shoved the envelope in her back pocket before going out to her car to make the journey one final time.