It was dark. Wasn't it always dark when you really wanted to be in the light? Sal stood in the doorway to Holly’s office, not wanting to interrupt her when she looked like she’d finally grabbed a moment of solitude. She closed her eyes and looked like she wished with everything that she had that she was somewhere other than where she sat.

Her expression was relaxed, almost peaceful. Unguarded for once. There was a faint hint of a smile at the corner of her lips.

“Bad day?” Sal asked from her office doorway.

“I was wishing I was on the beach,” she said without opening her eyes.

“You didn’t strike me a beachgoer.”

“I’m not. I like the idea of the beach more than the beach. I’ve had my fill of sand getting into uncomfortable places,” she admitted.

“Pizarro has been released by the MPs. I’ve got him under guard to keep him away from Freeman.”

“Good to hear. Here’s hoping it will give Freeman and Baggins a moment’s peace.”

Sal frowned. “You pieced together the Baggins thing, too, huh?”

“It’s weird how he’s so hung up on Freeman,” Holly said. “And she seems to genuinely care about him. I didn’t think females went for the funny guy.”

He narrowed his eyes, considering his words. “There’s no right way to answer that, is there.”

“Not really,” she said. “In all seriousness, though, this entire situation is a shit show. Baggins is hung up on Freeman. Freeman is on Probation for threatening to stab Pizarro and is either in an abusive relationship with him or trying to leave an abusive relationship with him.” She paused. “Why can’t we just do the normal stuff like train soldiers to go to war?”

“That’s my line.” Sal stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, this meets the definition of ‘shit show’ any way you look at it.”

“What a week,” she mumbled.

“Busy plans for the weekend?”

She shook her head. “Other than bailing shitheads out of jail, no, nothing remarkable. I’m going to go for a run out by the lake and get some sleep before the madness begins in”—she glanced at her watch— “approximately six to eight hours.”

“Well, we’re going to the range again on Monday.”

“Which means this weekend will be extra rowdy,” she said. “The only thing worse will be when we get out of the field and they’ve got two weeks of pay saved up.”

He frowned suddenly. “How are you possibly caught up on everything? You just got here.”

“Nice change of subject. It’s called I delegate,” she said. “Another life skill. Like sarcasm.”

“You can’t possibly have read all your e-mails. The battalion sergeant major sends like fifty a day.”

She stood and reached for her headgear. “And most of them require no action and only a brief understanding of what was said. I’ve worked for Cox before. I know what he expects.”

This was news. “Really? When?”

“Korea when I was assigned up at Camp Red Cloud.”

“I’ve never been to Korea.”

She glanced over at him, watching him watch her. “A more wretched hive of scum and villainy you’ll never find.”

“That’s pretty harsh to say about a country.”

“I was talking about how our soldiers behave over there.”

He fell into step next to her as she locked up her office. “I’ve always thought those stories were exaggerated.”

“Not that much. It can get pretty rough when we come out of the field. And let there be some anti-American demonstrations that weekend. Soldiers damn near climb the walls to unwind. Prostitution—by American soldiers mind you—third country nationals as wives. Polygamy. BAH fraud. You name it, our soldiers have done it over there.”

“You sound a little cynical.”

They stepped out onto the back docks behind the company headquarters. The battalion area was quiet.

“There are a lot of people who would take issue with you calling our soldiers overseas evil,” Sal said after a moment.

She shot him a wry look. “Not all soldiers have served with honor and the sooner we remember that, the sooner we can deal with what this war has done to all of us. It makes cowards of us all—even good men who would stand up to evil.”

He stilled. He didn’t mean to. “What do you mean?”

She sighed hard, remaining silent for a long moment. “We had a major over in Korea. He was married but had sleeping-with-anything–that-moved issues. Cox took issue with a field-grade officer treating his subordinates like they were his own private harem.” She sniffed. “The battalion commander disagreed. Cox was relocated somewhere down south and replaced with a yes man.”

Sal didn’t move. There was more there, more to the story than she was saying. More than she wanted to admit. He wondered at what she didn’t say.

“You wanted to know why I make jokes all the time?” she said softly. “Because the ugliness of what we face would break me otherwise.”

And then she did something that surprised them both.

* * *

Holly was comfortable with her own stupidity. She’d gotten used to making really bad choices before her brain really kicked in and put a stop to things.

But standing there with Sal felt like a new level of bad idea.

And she could not walk away.

It hurt, knowing this was a mistake. That she could never find someone that even remotely got her blood going who wasn’t an epically terrible decision.

But she was comfortable with her own stupidity.

So when she wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned a little too close, she shoved aside rational thought and just let herself feel.

She brushed her lips against his soft bottom lip. He went infinitely still beneath her touch. He was tense and solid, frozen in place. She nudged his lip again, asking without words for permission. Permission to taste. Permission to touch.

Permission to step into the forbidden zone of pleasure that they both should be running away from.

But in that moment, between one breath and the next, a shudder ran through him. Then he threaded his fingers through the tight bun at the base of her neck and closed the distance between them.

And she was lost.

His mouth was perfect. Warm and soft, he kissed her like she was the most precious thing. He opened and slid his tongue against hers—a question, tentative. It was like he was waiting.

She opened for him, pressing her body against his full hard length. Savoring the feel of the man against her. A warrior’s strength wrapped around her, drawing her closer.

She knew the moment she stopped being in control. He cupped the back of her neck; his fingers were strong. Trapping her mouth, he deepened the kiss, taking her to a place where she couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe.

She wanted nothing more than for this to go on forever. She arched against him, wanting, needing the intimate contact of his body against hers. Needing to feel alive and real and remember all the things she’d set to the side as she’d devoted her life to leading soldiers.

This. She’d missed this. She felt alive. His hand slid beneath her uniform top, finding the sensitive skin of her lower back. She shivered as his fingers danced over her skin, tracing some unknown, erotic pattern over her flesh.

“You like that?” he whispered against her mouth.

“If I say yes will you keep doing it?”

He made a noise in his throat and claimed her mouth. Here was barely restrained violence and arousal twisted together into something intense that threatened to overwhelm her.

There was no common sense that finally urged her to break the kiss. Still she nibbled on that full bottom lip, sipping from him before breaking contact completely. He lowered his forehead to hers. She expected him to say something. Anything.

Instead, the silence wrapped around them like a shroud, shielding them from the outside world. The world where their ranks didn’t matter. Where their lives would not be irrevocably destroyed if someone were to see them like this.

But she did not move away. There was a need here, a need to belong, to feel this man’s hands on her skin.

“The boss isn’t going to be happy about this,” he whispered.

She smiled against his mouth. “What are you, twelve? You’re going to run and tell him about your first erection?” She arched against him, feeling his length against her hips and wanting so badly to wrap her fingers around him.

He made a strangled noise and it took her a moment to realize he was laughing.

He cupped her cheek. “We have to keep this thing under wraps.” He brushed his mouth against hers. “You have more to lose than I do.”

“I had my middle name changed to discretion.”

“What was it before?”

“Trouble.”

He smiled at her and it was blinding. “I can’t imagine why.”

“Why what?”

“Why you’d change it. Trouble seems to fit you pretty well.”

“So, then you like to live dangerously?”

He made a noise deep in his chest before he nipped at her bottom lip. “Smart ass.”

It was a long time before either of them moved.