Chapter 23
“AND then, Frankie says ‘But Sister, I thought you were a guy!’”
The table exploded with laughter. Zach pounded Jesse’s shoulder with his open palm. “You jackasses! You set Frankie up, didn’t you?” he demanded, grinning widely.
“You bet your ass we did,” Billy Krepwith, one of their old school friends, said from across the table. “Frankie needed to get taken down a peg or two, especially with that John Marshall crap.”
“So what did the nun say?” David asked as he poured himself another glass of beer from the rapidly diminishing pitcher.
“She laughed her butt off,” Jesse said. “Good thing she had a sense of humor about it, or Frankie’d be on his way to hell right now. Anybody hear from him lately, anyway?”
“Yeah, I got an email from him a couple of days ago,” Zach said. “Taff got Frankie’s from his dad at the college, so I emailed him and he sent back.” He pulled out his phone and queued up his email. “‘Wish I could be there’—I told him we were going out for pizza tonight—‘and had the chance to kick Muffin’s ass for getting me drunk last time I was in town. Didn’t get rid of the hangover for three days.’”
They laughed again. Zach glanced around the table in satisfaction. There were six of them: himself, David, Jesse, Jeff, Billy, and Taiwan Burgess, who’d played forward on their soccer team the last season before Zach’s ‘adventure’. That was what he’d taken to calling it to himself, in his attempt to get beyond the nightmare of it. Dr. Barrett wasn’t so sure that it was a good thing to lighten it up that way, but it gave him a non-threatening frame of reference. Dr. Barrett was pleased about this evening out, as well as the reason for it: Zach had not only passed his GED with flying colors, but an interview with a pair of professors from UCo who had connections at MIT had resulted in Zach not only getting set up for tutoring by the pair, but a letter of interest from Admissions at MIT. If he got through the program the UCo professors had set up for him, he’d be starting at MIT in September of next year, just a little over a year from now. The thought had his heart beating a little faster, and he wasn’t sure if it was excitement or fear.
David glanced over at him and gave him a quick grin. “Thinkin’ about MIT again?”
“How could you tell?”
“I dunno,” Tai said, “maybe the way you get even whiter than you are normally, white boy?”
The guys laughed, and Billy shoved the pizza over his way. “Come on, eat up. Gotta get your strength back—you’re wastin’ away from the stress.”
Laughing, Zach said, “Fuck you!” and took some more pizza.
Jeff drained the pitcher and said, “More beer?”
“Yes!” they chorused.
Zach laughed happily.
IT WAS well past midnight when they finally finished up, and Zach was ready to go home. It had been a good time; it was great reconnecting with his old friends and none of them seemed too judgmental or curious. Billy and Tai had both commented on the scars around his neck; Billy had declared them “heinous” and Tai “wicked,” but both were more interested in finding out his workout schedule and how the hell he’d gotten so big. Tai was working at an advertising firm in the Springs; Billy at NORAD in their data analysis department, so they’d kept in touch with each other over the last couple of years. They’d greeted Zach exactly as if he’d just been away at school for a while, with friendly punches and smart remarks. He grinned to himself as he said goodbye to them and wondered why the heck he’d been so hesitant about seeing any of his old friends again.
“Yeah, guess I better get going too,” Jesse said. “Lynda’ll be pissed if I’m home too late, and that is not a pretty sight, Lynda pissed. You’re lucky you don’t have those issues, Zach. Sometimes I wish I was gay too. It’d be a lot easier.”
Zach froze. “What?”
Billy hooted. “You think we didn’t know you were gay, girly-man? Since, like, fifth grade!”
He glanced at each of his friends, wide-eyed. “You…. What?” He looked at David, who just covered his smile discreetly with his hand. “Did you know about this?”
“That you were gay?” David asked cheerfully. “Oh, I’d suspected.”
“No! That they all knew!”
Jeff laughed. “Yeah, well, like Billy said, we’ve known since about fifth grade. About the time we all started getting interested in girls and you didn’t. We didn’t say anything, cuz frankly, it wasn’t anybody’s business at the time, and I don’t think anyone else knew, but shit, Zach, we all hung around together for years! You think we’re stupid or something?”
Zach shook his head slowly. “No…. No, of course not. I just didn’t think…. Well, I didn’t think I acted gay or anything….”
“You didn’t,” Jesse assured him. “Like Muffin said, nobody else knew. Well, maybe Coach Faber, but he didn’t say anything either. Broke a lot of little girls’ hearts, though, you know, never paying attention to any of them. Everyone said you had a major crush on Maggie Richards, Taff’s girlfriend, and that’s why you never went out with any other girl.”
“You guys are wacked,” Zach said, shaking his head in amazement. “You knew, but nobody else at school did?”
“Hell,” Jeff said, “we were your best buds. I don’t think anyone else even suspected, though.”
“And it didn’t bother you?”
Jeff’s face went all thoughtful. “Maybe at the beginning we thought it was a little weird. And once we actually knew what ‘being gay’ meant—I mean, eww. But to each his own, I guess, and if you think about it, sex in general is kind of weird and gross anyway.” He grinned and slung an arm around Zach’s neck. “So when I say ‘I love you, man’—you take it the right way, okay? Cuz I’m not into butt-munchin’.”
Tai made gagging noises.
“You guys,” Zach said, “are all assholes. And I love ya. Not in the butt-munching way, of course.”
His four friends were laughing when they left the restaurant.
David looked around. The pizza joint they were in was Bella’s, one they’d all hung out at in school; but he hadn’t been here in years. It had been like practically every other pizza joint he’d ever been in, from New Zealand to New York: dark, a bit grungy, noisy, and comforting in its sameness. It still was. He felt a beer-infused sentimental affection for the place, even though neither the beer nor the pizza was impressive in its quality. “Good place, huh, Zach?”
“What? Taff, I think you’re drunk.”
“I think you’re right. Are you?”
“I don’t think so. I only had two beers.”
“How come? I mean, used to be two beers was your warm-up to the evening of pounding Scotch. You haven’t drunk any Scotch lately, either, from what I remember.” He stood, and clutched the back of his chair as the room swayed gently. “How come you haven’t drunk any Scotch lately? That I remember?”
“I don’t know.” Zach regarded him with an amused look on his face. “Don’t need to. I sleep okay these days.”
“It’s cuz you’re sleeping with me,” David said confidentially, in an undertone.
“I think you’re right. Look, I gotta take a piss. You gonna be okay while I’m gone?”
“I’m not that drunk,” David said dryly. “You go ahead. I’ll wait for the bill.”
“Don’t try and pay it,” Zach chuckled. “God only knows what you’ll come up with.”
“Fuck you,” David retorted with a grin, and sat back down.
ZACH was coming out of the bathroom when someone stepped in front of him. He stopped, frowning, then recognized the sun-streaked blond hair and handsome face.
“Hi,” Brian said. “How you doing, Zach?”
“Fine,” Zach said curtly, and went to step around him.
Brian put out a hand. “No, wait. I’ve been hoping I’d run into you. Do you have a minute?”
“No.”
Brian touched his arm gently. “Not even a minute. A second. I just want to talk to you.”
“I know what you want to talk about, and I’m not interested.” Zach took another step to the side.
“I’ve seen the reports,” Brian said.
Zach froze. His eyes flicked to Brian’s face. The man’s expression was sympathetic. “What reports?”
“The reports about what happened to you. What happened to Esteban. What really happened in Venezuela.” He reached into the breast pocket of his jacket and put a card in Zach’s hand. “I want to hear about it, Zach. Please. Now—later—whenever you’re ready.”
DAVID took the bill from the middle-aged waitress and thanked her for putting up with the rowdy crowd. “Aw, you guys weren’t bad,” she said with a smile. “Loud, is about all. Celebrating something?”
“Yeah, you could say that.”
“Well, whenever you’re ready, you pay me. Need any change?”
“No. In fact,” David dug into his hip pocket for his wallet and gave her his Visa card. “Put it on this.”
She took the card and the leatherette folder with the check. A few minutes later, she was back, and he signed the credit slip, adding a twenty-five percent tip for her good-natured and patient service. “Thanks,” she said, giving him a glowing smile as she took the folder.
He watched her head back to the server’s station; then his eyes went past to where Zach stood, talking to a tall blond man in a tan blazer. A bit dressy for a pizza joint, he was just thinking, and then he recognized him. No. Oh, no. Not tonight, not when Zach was still glowing from a great evening out with friends like normal people took for granted, not when he was feeling so happy and positive and normal…. He lunged to his feet and stormed over to where they stood, shouldering Zach gently aside so that he faced the journalist.
“I THOUGHT I told you to stay away from him,” David said savagely, reaching over and taking the business card from Zach. Fury radiated off him; even stunned and numb as Zach was, he recognized the barely suppressed rage. It just added to the air of unreality about him, feeling David so furious; David, who was always so calm, so easy-going, except when he was fighting with Zach. Distantly, Zach wondered why David was so angry. He was never angry with anyone except Zach.
“I’m not talking to you,” Brian said calmly. “I’m talking to Zach.”
“You’re not talking to Zach,” David retorted. “I’m not letting you.”
“I sort of think that should be Zach’s decision.” The journalist’s voice was reasonable. He glanced beyond David to Zach. “What about it?”
“What do you want?” Zach asked unwillingly.
“I want a story. I want the whole story. I want the truth.” He met Zach’s eyes. “I want to know what really happened.”
“Learn to live with disappointment,” David snarled. “It’s none of your fucking business.”
“Look, Taff,” Brian shot back, “Zach doesn’t need you running interference for him. He’s perfectly capable of defending himself. He’s capable of a lot more than you give him credit for. Aren’t you, Zach? You can take care of yourself.”
“Yes,” Zach said.
David turned to look at him. “It’s a con,” he said urgently. “Saying ‘yes’ puts you in the frame of mind subconsciously to agree with him. It’s the oldest trick in the book. Don’t say ‘yes’. Say ‘fuck off’ the way you did me.”
Zach looked at him, weary, but saying nothing.
“Tell me no, Zach,” Brian said, “if that’s really what you want to say. But you don’t need David to protect you, do you?”
“No,” Zach said, but he was agreeing with Brian.
David said painfully, “Zach….”
“I don’t need you to protect me, Taff,” Zach said. “I love you, but I don’t need you to protect me.”
“Yes, you do! This guy is gonna run roughshod over you. He’ll drag all kinds of shit into the open. Do you want everyone knowing your business?”
“Maybe it’s time.”
“Zach! This is what I mean!”
“Davey,” Brian said, “he really doesn’t need you to protect him, any more than he needed those soldiers to free him.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Those soldiers didn’t get Zach away from Esteban, did they, Zach? You freed yourself.”
“Yes,” Zach said. He could hear his voice quavering and shut up before anyone else noticed.
“What are you talking about?” David repeated angrily.
“Zach knows what I’m talking about.”
“Zach….”
“Yeah. I do. I did.” He took a deep breath, then let it out slowly, a long exhalation redolent with pain and grief. “What do you want to know? What it felt like?”
“Yes,” Brian said softly. “What it felt like. What you felt.”
“I felt his windpipe crunch when I crushed it,” Zach said, speaking to Brian but watching David’s face. I still hear it sometimes. I remember that. I remember the way it felt, standing on his back with him on the floor beneath me, feeling the muscles convulse under my bare feet and trying to stay standing by digging my toes into his ribs, and the feel of his come trickling down my legs as I rode him like a circus bareback rider. “I remember the leather of the leash cutting into my hands.” He opened his hands and looked down at them. “There was blood on my hands,” he said, “but no place else. He didn’t bleed. He choked to death. I choked him to death.”
He looked back up at David. “They said what I did was impossible. He was twice my weight and solid muscle. His neck was thick and hard and I was eighty-six pounds and all bones. But I did it. I killed him. I yanked him off his feet and garroted him with my own leash until he was dead.”
David’s face was white, his eyes black holes. He said nothing, just stared at Zach as if he were a stranger. Zach turned to Brian. “You’ll get your interview. I want to talk to my lawyers and we’ll get back to you.” He plucked the card from David’s resistless fingers. “One way or another, you’ll get your story.” Then he turned and walked out of the bar. A moment later they heard the roar of his engine as he gunned it, and the rattle of gravel as he sped away.
David turned to look at Brian, stunned and speechless. Brian said, “It was all in Captain Rogers’ report. I got a copy of it—heavily redacted, of course, but I could read between the blacked-out lines. Thank you, FOIA.”
“I didn’t know,” David said numbly.
“No. Not many people do. I wouldn’t, either, but I have contacts in the State Department.” Brian regarded him compassionately. “You don’t give him enough credit. You still think of him as this unworldly, sheltered little fifteen-year-old, but he’s so much more than that now. He’s been through things that you and I—God willing—will never have to go through.”
“And you’re still going to write your fucking story,” David said bitterly.
“Yeah. Because he needs to tell it and the world needs to hear it. But I can tell you this—if you care at all about that kid, you will move your ass and catch up to him, because if you don’t, I will, and it will have nothing to do with the story.”
David looked at Brian, really looked at him, then turned and ran for his car.