Chapter 6

Oh, Fuck.

-Words whispered by every single person at least once throughout the day.

Tobias

There was something wrong with me.

I couldn’t get my head on straight.

Everything I did came with a small voice in my head saying, ‘What’s Audrey doing? What will Audrey think about this arrest that you just made when you tell her about it later on? Do you think Audrey is doing anything right now that you can’t stop by and see her?’

I couldn’t seem to shut off the thoughts that centered around the one woman that I knew should be protected from me.

Yet, here I was, driving over to her place when I should be going to my own home and staying the fuck away from her.

When I pulled up outside Ghost’s house, I didn’t stop myself from going to the door.

I knew Ghost was gone.

I knew that he was out of town working on a case.

I knew that his wife and daughters were gone, too.

Meaning there was only one person in that house, and it was Audrey.

I didn’t have any reason to believe that she’d want to come with me.

In fact, she’d probably tell me not just no, but hell no.

But I had to ask her anyway.

Knocking on the door, I waited patiently for her to answer.

It took her exactly two minutes to do it. How did I know that? Because I timed it.

Jesus Christ, was I fucking lost.

The door opened, and a tired looking Audrey answered the door.

“Oh, hey!” she said, instantly perking up when she saw me. “Where are we going?”

I looked down at her.

She was wearing a pair of short, blue jean shorts, white ankle socks, and a pair of tennis shoes. The tank top she had on said ‘Butter Baby’ where it was stretched tightly across her ample breasts. My mind started running rapidly through all the things that I wanted to do to her that weren’t considered polite in general society.

Things that she wasn’t ready for, and I wasn’t allowed to give her, according to Ghost.

“How do you know we’re going anywhere?” I asked curiously.

The fact that she wanted to go somewhere with me, even though she didn’t know where that was, was enough to make me to feel fucking giddy inside.

“You don’t normally let me into the fun world you live in,” she grinned unrepentantly. “If you took me for a ride on your tractor, I’d be happy. Hell, you could even take me to the gun range.”

My grin widened.

“I guess I could do that,” I said slowly. “You want to ride on the tractor for real?”

Even the gun range had sounded promising.

She shrugged, but I could see that she really wanted to, so that’s exactly what we did.

When I’d driven over here after work, I hadn’t really had a plan in mind. I hadn’t slept in over eighteen hours. I was tired, hungry, and more than a little frustrated with how my shift had gone. I’d only known that I wanted to spend some time with her once I got off, so I’d driven straight here instead of going home like I normally did.

I was thinking I’d just ask her if she wanted to go shopping at the new fishing and hunting store that’d just opened or maybe go to the movies, but she’d solved that dilemma for me without even realizing it.

“Where do you want to go to first?” I asked. “Though, I do have to go home to get some guns if we go shooting.”

Just her grin was enough to send my heart rate skyrocketing.

But add a glimpse of those pretty, white teeth behind those luscious, plump lips, and my dick was starting to get hard.

I shifted, knowing that if I wasn’t careful, my pants would show every single dimple or lump. I’d been wearing the same uniform for years now. I knew better than to think about naughty things while I was wearing it.

Her eyes skittered down the length of my body, and I shifted more so that one leg was forward, creating a little more space for my hardening-by-the-second cock to go.

She looked away, a faint blush on her face, and I realized rather quickly that my excitement hadn’t gone unnoticed.

“Should I change?” she asked, moving so she could peer around me at the road.

I grinned.

“No. I’ll go slow.”

She rolled her eyes.

“I think I’ll put on jeans anyway, just in case.” She smiled happily.

Then she disappeared, once again leaving the door open for me to either come in or stay on the porch. The fact that she left that decision up to me was enough to cause my heart to swell inside my chest.

She was starting to trust me.

All those months ago, when I’d first gone to get her for Ghost, she’d not only barred me from the bedroom when she was changing in the bathroom, but she also banished me from the house completely.

I'd even had to sleep on the couch—which, might I add, made it hard to watch over the person when you couldn’t even be in the same room as her or you’d cause her to flip her crazy switch.

Now, I could see that she’d left her bedroom door open as well.

Progress. I had no clue that those little baby steps she was taking would feel as good as they did.

“Hey!”

I took the step into her house, and closed the door.

“Yeah?” I stared down the hall, into the bedroom that still remained open.

“I got a new piece of plastic, take a look. It’s on the table.”

I walked to the table, which was a few steps in front of me, and looked at it.

The entire table was scattered with papers. Some were the apartment background check forms that we’d picked up last week that she had filled out now.

The rest of the papers were receipts, a recipe, and a phone bill with a phone number on it.

Glancing at the number, I put it to memory and searched for the allusive plastic that she was talking about, finally finding it halfway under an envelope addressed to the electric company.

Picking it up, I examined the photo, grinning when I saw that her hair was a little wild.

Then the numbers on the card caught my eye.

“You are not a hundred and seventy pounds!” I shouted as I read the concealed handgun license. “And your eyes aren’t hazel.”

“Well, so I forgot what color my eyes were,” Audrey said as she came up behind me, startling me as she did. “And I’ll admit, I was a hundred and seventy five last week, but I plan to get back down to one seventy.”

I opened my mouth, and then closed it, as I waffled on what to say to that.

“I meant there’s no way you weigh that much,” I stuttered out. “You don’t look like you are. You look like you’re way skinnier…not that being that weight is a bad thing. You look amazing. Fuck, I’m just going to shut up now.”

She started to laugh, and I got my first good look at the jeans that she was wearing. Or more like, the jeans that were wearing her.

Jesus Christ, they were tight. And they fit her ass perfectly.

They also had holes in them, placed sporadically in certain places so as not to show any parts of body that should be covered. Yet the holes were so well placed that they gave a glimpse of the skin leading to forbidden places.

Such as the one that was on the back of one thigh. If I were to poke my finger through the hole, I’d be able to touch things that she probably wouldn’t want me touching.

Then there was the one that was on the inside of her thigh.

Jesus Christ.

“Ready?” she asked.

I looked her over.

“Where’s your gun?”

I figured since she now had her license, she would be carrying, but with her clothes as tight as they were, I couldn’t see how she could hide the gun even if she tried.

Yet, I was curious.

My curiosity always got me into trouble.

“I don’t have a gun.” She looked away. “When I shot that guy who broke into my house…I decided I probably should get rid of that one. It had bad ju-ju.”

I sighed. “Your brother has one.”

She shrugged. “My brother’s already done a lot for me. I’m not going to continue to use him for my personal gain.”

My lips twitched.

“You can borrow one of mine,” I offered.

She lifted her chin slightly.

“No.”

Rolling my eyes, I handed her the license and said, “Make sure to keep that on you. If you get pulled over, be sure to hand them both licenses.”

“Why?” she questioned.

I hesitated. “Why not?”

“What if I don’t have my gun on me? Why bother to pull out both?”

I grinned at her. “If I pulled you over, and you only handed me your driver’s license, when I got back to my car and ran your name through the database, and noticed that you had a concealed carry license, I’d wonder why the hell you omitted that fact. Were you hiding something? Were you going to shoot me when I came back to your car to give you the ticket?”

Her mouth opened, and then closed.

“Maybe you’re just weird.”

I chuckled as I headed for the door and held it open for her.

She passed by me, touching me as she moved, and I knew it had been on purpose.

There’d been quite a bit of room between me and the doorjamb, and she had ample room to move through without brushing against me from chest to crotch.

She made sure to rub against me, and my already hard cock stiffened even more.

“I’m not weird,” I said, trying to hide the need that was starting to leech into my voice. “I’m a cop. Cops already have to worry about everything under the sun. By you not giving me the license, it’s like you’re hiding it from me. Then all the situations we’ve been in, or our compatriots have been in, start to cycle through our brain. It’s little wonder that we can walk up to car windows at all without automatically pulling out our guns just in case.”

She stayed silent as I held out my hand for her keys, and quickly locked the door behind us.

She continued to stay quiet as we made our way down to my bike, where I offered her my only helmet.

“You need to get one of these for yourself,” she mused as she placed the helmet on her head and tightened it.

I grinned. “You keep riding on the back of my bike, baby, and I’ll do that.”

Her smile was small, but that was nothing compared to the way she got onto the back of the bike behind me and wrapped her hands around my waist. Willingly.

She pressed close, resting her chin on my shoulder, and gave me a little squeeze to tell me she was ready.

And I wanted to crow to the heavens that she was actually giving me the time of day.

***

“This is the best day EVER!” Audrey cried, bouncing slightly in my lap.

The grin that was splitting my face was enough to hurt. I’d been doing that—smiling—for hours now.

When we’d gotten to my place, instead of taking her to the shooting range immediately, I’d taken her to the barn where I housed my tractor.

After making sure she had adequate shoes, I’d helped her into the tractor and deposited her in my lap as I gave her a quick lesson on how to run everything.

“So what now?” she begged, eyes wide and excited.

“I don’t really have anything to do right now,” I admitted. “I just mowed the pasture last weekend, and you just did the only other thing I had to do—which was mow the front lawn. The only thing I really have to do, at this point, is even out the road over there…”

She clapped her hands, and then put the tractor into gear. “Okay, let’s do this.”

And that was how I ended up showing a city slicker ‘never seen a cow up close before’ woman how to dig with a tractor. She sucked to be honest, but so did everyone at first. That was how it went. The more practice you had, the easier it got, until it came as second nature.

I could literally hitch up the mower attachment in thirty seconds flat.

When I’d first started this over ten years ago, I hadn’t had a fuckin’ clue how to do anything. Let’s just say YouTube had been my friend.

“You’re pretty good at this for a newcomer,” I said, leaning back and letting her have complete control of the tractor.

My legs were hurting where she’d been sitting on them for the last couple of hours, but I didn’t care. Not when I could see her excitement lighting up her eyes every time she did something right.

“I’m a boss,” she declared.

I shook my head and placed my hands behind me head, linking my fingers to keep them from moving through her long curls.

“A boss,” I grunted, trying to hide the desire that I felt.

I wanted her.

I wanted her so badly that it was getting to the point of pain, but did I make her stop wiggling on my lap so my dick could have a little rest? No. I did not.

Instead, I let her move on my lap as she did her digging—fucking up my driveway in the process—to her heart’s content.

I didn’t bother to tell her that she was massacring it. Especially when I saw the uninhibited joy that was written all over her body.

“Okay,” she blew out a breath. “I’m done.”

We both looked at the driveway.

“You’re definitely going to need some more practice,” I told her. “Do you mind?”

She started to shift off of me and reach for the door handle, but I halted her movement with a hand placed on the soft swell of her belly.

“Stay,” I ordered, pushing a little more firmly. “Just lean back and give me some room.”

She did, leaning her entire back against my chest.

She wasn’t even stiff, instead she was relaxed and comfortable as I moved forward, caging her in between my arms and the steering wheel.

I took over the control of the brake and accelerator, and she let me without protest.

She watched as I smoothed the driveway back into place easily. Much more easily than it’d come up.

She even kept the smile as she waited while I made a few passes over it to ensure that the dirt was packed down.

“It’ll just be a big ol’ mud puddle by the time it rains again, but for now it’s good enough,” I said. “Are you ready?”

She wiggled in her seat, and I groaned quietly as my dick continued to respond to her moving on my lap by getting harder at this very inopportune time.

When she shifted again, I knew she felt it.

Liked it.

Because she continued to wiggle, and her face was flushed as she waited to see what I’d do next.

“Audrey,” I warned gratingly, barely able to be heard over the low growl of the diesel engine.

I didn’t know what I was warning her about.

It could’ve possibly been the fact that my control wasn’t infinite. Or it could’ve been the fact that I knew she wasn’t ready for where I could see this heading.

Whatever the reason, I needed to put a stop to it.

Or I would have put a stop to it had she not spun around in the seat and touched her mouth to mine.

And then I lost it. Lost it so spectacularly, in fact, that I didn’t realize I was even holding on to her when her kisses went from sweet to a scream in three seconds flat.

I let go as the feeling of ice water running through my veins poured through me.

I sat back, gasping, and lifted my hands in confusion.

“Audrey?”

Her eyes were wild, scared and filled with something that turned my stomach inside out.

“Audrey, honey?” I whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

Her eyes finally found mine.

“It was the hands.”

I studied her face.

“What was?”

“I do better when I’m in control,” she whispered. “You put your hands on me, and held me to you. I’m so sorry.”

She covered her face with her hands, and her shoulders started to shake.

Realizing that she was crying, I placed one hesitant hand on the side of her face and tilted her head back.

“Baby, look at me.”

She did.

I swallowed, knowing that she was buried deep inside her head. Though she was looking at me, she wasn’t all there, and I knew that it’d take a miracle to get through to her at this point.

“My sister was raped by my best friend for years…two years before I realized that it was going on and stopped it.”

Her eyes snapped into focus, and I realized the moment she came back to me.

“What?” She licked her lips. “What are you talking about?”

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the Plexiglas wall and looked at the ceiling of the tractor.

She shifted on my lap, and then placed her hand hesitantly on my cheek.

“Tell me.”

I swallowed, feeling my Adam’s apple bob, and righted my head.

“My best friend, Jay, used to beg me to ask my parents to have him over. Me, not caring, always asked. I never once stopped to pay attention to the fear on my sister’s face every time his name was mentioned. I was only thinking about my own selfish self, and never stopped to look around. To wonder why the hell she was making herself scarce when he was there.” I shook my head. “One night I woke up, thirsty as hell, and got up to get some water. I noticed that Jay was gone, but figured I’d find him in the kitchen eating or grabbing a drink. What I didn’t expect was to find him in my sister’s room, doing things to her that she never asked for.”

“Tobias…”

He shook his head. “I killed him.”

Her eyes widened.

“What?”

I nodded, swallowing thickly.

“I did,” I said. “Killed him with my bare hands.”

I finally found the courage to make eye contact with her, and such fierce pride was shining in her eyes that I found it hard to breathe.

“Ghost wanted to kill my rapist, too,” she whispered. “Brothers are good protectors.”

She placed her hand on my cheek and then leaned down and kissed me softly on the lips.

I didn’t respond, knowing that she was still too shaken up for me to do anything more than to allow her to do whatever she wanted to me.

She didn’t disappoint, but I couldn’t let her think that I was the good guy in this situation.

Because I wasn’t. Not even close.

“I should’ve been there for her,” I started again. “For years, I let that go on. He made her promise not to tell, or he’d kill me. He was serious, too, because she wasn’t a stupid girl. If she thought that the threat was real, she would’ve done whatever he wanted.” I looked away from her concerned eyes. “By the time I’d caught him, he’d raped her over forty times.”

Bile rose in my throat.

“After I…pulled him off of her, I started to beat him with my fists. Then when those started to hurt, I picked up a lamp and continued the assault until my brothers and father pulled me off of him. But at that point, he was already dead. For a while, they suspect.”

I finally worked up the courage to look at her, and the gratitude I read in her eyes was enough to undo me.

“She never recovered,” I whispered. “She wasn’t strong like you. She’d always been a gentle soul. She never talked back. Never did anything out of turn. Always asked permission to do anything, even go to the grocery store down the street and get something for dinner. She was what I would like to call forever young. She didn’t see the problems in the world. Always had her head in the sand. She went to counseling, but she was never the same as she was before Jay. She was there, but she did little more than just exist.”

“I’m not strong,” she whispered. “You may think I am, but I’m not. Look at what just happened.”

I brought one lone finger up and curled it around a stray piece of hair that’d slipped over her ear where she’d had it tucked. “You’re here. You’re living your life. You’re looking for an apartment. You’re doing more than just existing. It’s more than some do after what happened to you.”

Like my sister didn’t do, went unsaid. But I could tell she was thinking the same thing as I was.

She tried to look away, but I wrapped my hand around her chin to tilt her face toward me. “When you’re ready—if you’re ever ready—I’ll be here. Until then, I’ll be your friend.”

Her eyes filled with tears. “Let’s go shoot.”