Chapter 26

Cassie

As I sat around Whitney’s house, thinking about what the next few months would bring, I couldn’t move past my thoughts of Scott. I really missed him on so many levels. He cut to the core of me, brought a better person out, but I couldn’t bring myself to call him. He had called me, left me a message sounding like the man I knew, but there had been so much damage in between. The words he spoke to me that day in his driveway lingered. They were like knives in my heart, and I couldn’t shake them enough to enable myself to reach out to him. Maybe it would take time. Maybe it would take a conversation. Or maybe it would always hurt. Either way, I was at a loss for what to do. Everything felt like a struggle all the time.

“Hey, baby girl,” Whitney said, coming in and sitting down next to me. “How are you feeling?”

“A little better, I guess.” I sighed. “I’m not crying every five seconds, and a lot of the nausea has subsided.”

“Good,” she said, rubbing my leg. “It’s baby steps. You know that. You are doing amazing, especially still going to work each morning and making it through that.”

“All I wanted to do in the middle of the day today was take a nap.” I chuckled. “Like in the dirt and dust, just lay down and sleep.”

“That will get better too in time,” she said. “I’ve read that the second trimester is so much easier than the first. You start to get that energy back, you aren’t so emotional, and things start to even themselves out a lot.”

“I hope you’re right,” I said, giving her a tiny smile. “So, what’s up?”

“I want to take you out to dinner,” she said. “Get you out of the house. Get some good food in that belly.”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I honestly don’t feel like doing anything. I’m tired. I want to sleep all the time, and the day really wore me out. Going anywhere seems like it will take more effort than I have.”

“You can’t sit around in this room forever,” she said. “You have to start living your life. These are the last months you will be alone. You should take advantage of that and do the things you might not be able to do once the baby is here. Besides, we haven’t had a nice dinner out together in a long time. I promise it will make you feel better to get out of the house and be around other people. Life hasn’t stopped, but if you aren’t careful, it’s going to leave you behind. It’s nothing fancy, just good food and good company.”

“I guess it would be nice to get some air,” I said. “All right, but I don’t want to do my makeup or anything like that. And you have to pick out some clothes.”

“Deal,” she said, smiling.

Whitney pulled a pretty pink sundress out of the closet and a pair of sandals. She smiled at me as she handed them over before turning and walking from the room. I got dressed and sat in the living room, waiting for her to finish getting ready. I felt like there was a hole in my heart, like something was missing, but I had felt that way since my father fired Scott. I was starting to get used to the feeling.

“You ready?” Whitney asked in a bubbly voice.

“Yeah,” I replied, groaning as I stood up and followed her to the car.

She took me to a restaurant across town, one I had been to a couple times before. It was more family style than fancy, and I was glad to see that. I didn’t feel like being around a bunch of people like my father. Whitney talked quietly to the hostess for a moment, but my mind was elsewhere, looking at all the happy kids sitting around the tables with their parents. It made me sad in a way, knowing there was a good chance I wouldn’t ever have that, at least not with the man I wanted to have that with. I followed Whitney to the table, looking down at my feet as I walked.

It wasn’t really Whitney’s kind of place, but I figured she had picked it for my benefit, trying to show me that life did go on. Still, I was struggling to see it through the heartache I was feeling. Whitney stopped and turned back to me, a nervous look on her face.

“Don’t be mad,” she said.

“Why would I—” I stopped as I looked up at the table, shocked to see Scott sitting there.

He stood up and put his hands in front of him, looking at me and then back at Whitney. I didn’t even know how to feel. I was teetering between angry and relieved. The words Scott had spoken in the driveway played in my head, and my stomach churned. I turned, shaking my head, and took a step toward the door.

“Wait,” Whitney said, grabbing my arm. “I am the one who set this up. The two of you need to talk, to work things out whether the result is good or bad. This needs to happen for you to move on and start living your life again. You know it’s important.”

“You should have told me,” I whispered. “I don’t need these kinds of surprises. I need time to think before I have a conversation with him.”

“Don’t you think you have had more than enough time to think?” she asked. “Look, Cassie, you know I would never do something like this if I didn’t think it was in your best interest. He really wants to talk to you, to work through what happened, and I think it would be a good time to reveal to him the things that have been on your mind. I am not saying this is a fix all, but remember that you are taking baby steps, and this is the next one.”

I stood there for a moment, thinking, trying not to agree with Whitney but knowing she was right. I glanced up at Scott, who was standing there with a lost look. I shook my head, agreeing to stay.

“Good,” Whitney said, kissing me on the cheek. “I’ll be outside waiting in the car. If you need anything, just call or come out there. Okay?”

I sighed. “Yeah.”

She smiled and looked back at Scott before walking through the restaurant and out the front door. I walked slowly over to the table and sat down across from him, trying not to look into his eyes. He cleared his throat and poured me a glass of wine from the bottle on the table. I stared at it, knowing I couldn’t drink it.

“Thank you for staying,” he said, nerves clear in his voice. “So much has happened since I saw you last. I knew you were the one I wanted to tell first. I got a new job. It’s in construction, for Greyson Construction, one of the smaller companies in the city. I did a full business plan for the hardware store, and I’m closer than I have ever been. Just a little more busting my ass and I will be able to open my first one. I had to scale the first one down a bit, but it’s really for the best.”

I sat there staring at him, trying to figure out why he was telling me all this. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to hear it. It was that he was oblivious to the fact that there was so much more going on in the world around him. There was a child, his child, growing in my belly, and for the first time in my life, nothing else seemed to matter. The job, the money, the conversation, even the relationship felt like background noise in a busy room. My heart raced in my chest.

“So, how about you?” he asked. “What has been happening with you?”

I looked up from my plate, trying to grasp that I was in this conversation. I looked at the family next to us and then back at Scott, unsure what even to say. He became concerned and tilted his head, sitting up straighter.

“Cassie,” he said, reaching out for my hand, but I pulled it away. “What’s wrong? You can still tell me anything.”

“I’m pregnant,” I blurted loudly. I pulled my hands into my lap and spoke again, this time softer. “I’m pregnant with your child.”

His forehead unfurled and a look of shock washed over him. His hands plopped into his lap, and he sat back in his chair, staring off into space. His eyes shot back to me, a questioning look on his face, as if I had spoken a foreign language. He was searching for understanding, searching for words, but what came out floored me.

“This wasn’t in my plans,” he mumbled softly.

“What?” I said, wrinkling my forehead and sitting forward. “Did you say that this wasn’t in your plans? Like it was in mine?”

“Cassie, that’s not what I meant. Cut me a little slack here. You just told me you’re pregnant,” he said, pulling himself together.

I sat there for a second, looking at his stunned face, feeling the sting of disappointment roll through me. I didn’t know what I thought would happen when I told him, but I wasn’t expecting that response. He was acting as if I had ruined his life somehow.

“Cut you some slack?” I said quietly. “I came to you when I found out, and all you gave me were hurtful words. Cut you some slack? How about the fact that I have had to deal with this all on my own? This wasn’t in my plans either, Scott. This was as big of a surprise for me as it is for you.”

“Cassie, I’m sorry,” he said.

“Don’t,” I snapped. “I was stupid for even thinking I actually missed you, for believing you didn’t mean what you said in your driveway that day. I fooled myself into thinking we could have what all these other families have. The joke is on me, right? You have everything figured out for yourself and there is no place in there for this baby or for me. Don’t worry, Scott, we won’t ruin your plans.”

“Cassie, please,” he said.

“You know, for a second there I really thought you cared about me.” I chuckled, putting my napkin on my plate and standing up. “I thought you had come here to clear the air, but you just came here to prove your worthiness. Something—if you had opened your damn eyes—you never had to prove to me.”

“Cassie,” he said as I turned and walked away.

I stormed through the restaurant and out the front door before he could say another word. Whitney didn’t see me come out, and I needed a moment alone. I turned right and walked around the building, leaning my back against the wall and clutching my chest. I tilted my head back and shook it from side to side, closing my eyes and trying to fight the tears. Damn hormones made it impossible for me to keep it together. I breathed heavily, trying to find my composure, realizing that might have been the last time I ever speak to Scott. He wasn’t interested in us; he was only interested in himself. He was going to find himself all alone in his glory by the end of it.